Work Text:
you are DAVE STRIDER, you are currently doing anything you can do to not think about the UNFORTUNATE PREDICAMENT you got yourself into two days ago.
well, unfortunately for you: it is the only thing you can think of.
hey, let's talk about exactly what happened, shall we?
yes. that feels like EXACTLY what we should do!
well, to begin, it was a normal and good day. as normal and good as it can be when you're in the middle of a three year long trip on a meteor. you were hanging out with your ex-rival(?) now best friend, KARKAT VANTAS. you are both lounging in the trolls bed..(?)room as you have frequently done for a while now.
his facial expression reads UNIMPRESSED as you show him your latest rap lyrics and accompanying beat you had created on some old turntables you found. he reaches out to pause the track.
FUCK. ARE YOU THAT BORED ALREADY
so did you like it
IVE HEARD WORSE
thanks man
SURE
he pauses for a minute, switching between slight subtle glances to you and the laptop sat infront of him, finally, he speaks up.
HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN
DO
THIS
he waves his arms at the collection of sound-bytes you used to create the track.
aw hell yeah ive been waiting for you to ask
you want me to teach you
SURE
IT WILL BE UTTERLY POINTLESS
BECAUSE A. IT WILL SUCK AND B. THIS IS YOUR STUPID LAME THING SO I WILL NOT ENJOY IT REMOTELY
BUT SURE
WE HAVE A LOT OF TIME FOR POINTLESS SHIT ANYWAYS
alright cool
professor strider has entered the building
wait no im not a professor
makes me sound old too
mr strider
mr strider has entered the building
entered the meteor
sir strider
nope im not even going to try that one
sound like ive been knighted
DAVE
right
you snap out of your pointless ramble which really did not add anything of use, not to the conversation with karkat, or in your two day later embarrassed retelling.
you point at the CREATE NEW TRACK BUTTON.
click that
he does as you say and you quickly show him some basic track-making info, he's picking up on some of it but still seems confused.
here
that one
no you gotta click
first you need to
you find yourself repeating these phrases often. after alerting him to the glorious wonders of the LOOP BUTTON he sighs loudly and throws his hand up.
FUCK IT
IM DONE
I DONT GET HOW ANY OF THAT SHIT IS ENJOYABLE
man you gotta give it a little faith
nobodies first track is good
shit that was a good thing about getting the fuck off of earth
my first track will never see the light of day
but i mean we dont really see the light of day either
always dark as shit on this meteor
but thats besides the point
you brush past another wave of your pointless extra dialogue.
but cmon
when has everything been easy at the start
and you still have the rest of the meteor trip to perfect your skills
unless you have some totally important business to attend to that i dont know about
YEAH I DO ACTUALLY
IM VERY BUSY
YOU SHOULD FEEL THANKFUL IM CHOOSING TO BE HERE
uh huh
of course mr vantas
i forgot just how packed your schedule is
GLAD YOURE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT
right well
if youre choosing to be here
let me show you some of the easier parts
OKAY
you try and shift in a way that doesn't make it awkward for you to be reaching over the keyboard and mouse, accidentally, that position just happens to be also awkward but in a sense of you’re basically hugging karkat from behind. if he wanted to say something about this adjustment, he doesnt.
he’s slouched over so you can clearly see over his head, some of his messy hair and horns are in your vision but not by much and that wasn't the thing you were most focused on, no, you were focusing on how your arms were around his waist, not intentionally in a hugging way, just so you can reach the keyboard! that's really all.
you force yourself to ignore your thoughts and relay the absolute basics of making a track. hm. you're actually a better teacher now. he seems to understand more of what you're saying, even connecting dots and figuring out what each feature must do before you can get the chance to explain it.
he's started making his own track now, you don't exactly remember when, but you’ve taken your hands away from the keyboard and mouse to fully wrap them around karkat, who, again, doesn't say anything about it.
again, your memory gets fuzzy at this point, what a coincidence, right? but now your head is resting in between karkat’s horn, and you're getting tired.
dave strider is not a big fan of thinking through his actions before he commits to them when he's tired. so, before you even know what you're doing or why, you slightly lift your head.. and kiss one of karkat’s horns.
it wakes you up immediately. you unlink your arms from his waist and throw yourself off his bed. you stumble around for a second to find your footing and for a brief moment you notice karkat’s confused expression.
im gonna
go now
you seem to have this
bye
was all your voice managed to squeeze out before you couldn't handle being in that room for another .5 seconds. karkat doesn’t follow you to your room, or message you. shit, you really fucked this one up didn’t you?
and then you continued to replay all of that in your head for the next two days, which brings us to the present day.
you’ve barely left your room since, have had little food or drinks not that you’re brain is thinking of that, shit, you’re not even 100% sure how long you’ve been in here for.
but today you get a message, unexpected, especially from who it’s by. oh, you know, just the guy your brain has been convincing you that he hates you. no big deal.
you probably wouldn't have even noticed a message if it wasn't for your laptop being right next to your head. the loud alert being the only thing to have rung you out of your thoughts.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
CG: HEY
CG: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN
TG: oh
CG: HI??
TG: hey
TG: just been chilling yk
TG: i guess
TG: ok not really
TG: idk what i was thinking
TG: sorry about that btw
TG: i forgot to apologise
CG: ??????
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
CG: WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGISING FOR
CG: DID I MISS SOMETHING?????
TG: uh
TG: maybe
TG: i dont think we are on the same page here
TG: lettme see
TG: why are you messaging me
CG: BECAUSE YOUVE BEEN HIDING IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWO DAYS
CG: FOR SOME REASON
CG: AND BEFORE YOU DISAPPEARED
CG: YOU WERE ACTING WEIRD
CG: YOU JUST SUDDENLY STOOD UP AND MUTTERED SOME BULLSHIT EXCUSE
CG: AND RAN OUT???
CG: I WAS GONNA FOLLOW YOU
CG: BUT I FIGURED YOUD KINDA WANNA BE ALONE
CG: AND I WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF ENJOYING THE TRACK I WAS MAKING
CG: I FINISHED IT BY THE WAY
CG: I THINK
CG: I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT BUT I DONT THINK ITS THE MORE IMPORTANT OF THE TWO
CG: OF IDFK WHY YOU RAN OUT
TG: shit wait
TG: you actually dont know what happened
CG: UH NO???
CG: WAS IT SOMETHING OBVIOUS
CG: OR SOME STUPID HUMAN THING
CG: THAT I WOULDNT UNDERSTAND
TG: i think its a human and troll thing
TG: it is probably more troll since humans cant really do it
TG: unless they are with a troll
TG: or dating a troll
CG: ????
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO
CG: IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED
TG: yeah me too
TG: i was really tired
TG: so i dont really know what i was thinking
TG: but im so relieved you don't remember
TG: cuz fuck its like the only thing ive been thinking about
TG: for the past couple days
CG: DAVE
CG: I STILL
CG: UNSURPRISINGLY
CG: HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
CG: ELABORATE
CG: WITH DETAILS OF WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID
TG: right so
TG: i was kinda falling asleep right
CG: YES I NOTICED
TG: and we were sorta cuddling
TG: or something
CG: YES???
TG: and for some reason
TG: my brain decided
TG: without giving it much thought
TG: or any thought
TG: that i must
TG: fuck
TG: kiss ur horns
TG: so i did
TG: it was light
TG: basically nothing
TG: so now it makes sense why you wouldnt remember
TG: because you probably didnt feel it
CG: OH
CG: THATS WHAT THAT WAS????
CG: HUH
CG: WELL
CG: WHY
CG: DID YOU
CG: I MEAN
CG: IS IT A ME THING OR JUST A TROLL THING
CG: LIKE WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IT IF IT WAS ANOTHER TROLL
TG: man ill be honest
TG: probably not
TG: i mean i dont think im gay
TG: i like girls and i know i do
TG: but shit
TG: there have been some guys
TG: in the past
TG: and now
TG: i never really thought about it but you
TG: fuck this is so embarrassing to admit
CG: I SEE
CG: SO
CG: AND I MIGHT BE GETTING THIS WRONG
CG: YOURE SAYING
CG: YOU MIGHT BE FLUSHED FOR ME????
TG: i guess
TG: and i think i might go throw my laptop off the meteor now
CG: YOU CAN DO THAT IF YOU WANT
CG: BUT BEFORE
CG: JUST ONE QUESTION
CG: YOU CAN THROW IT OFF AND NOT ANSWER
CG: BUT JUST READ IT ATLEAST
CG: THOUGH IF I WERE YOU I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE THROWN IT OFF BY NOW
CG: ..DAVE?
TG: sup
TG: laptop is safe for now
TG: cant let my sweet beats go to fuck knows where
TG: whats your question
CG: I DON’T THINK I’D EVER DESCRIBE THEM AS ‘SWEET BEATS’ BUT WHATEVER KEEPS YOUR LAPTOP ON THE METEOR
TG: that would go so hard as a metaphor
TG: whatever floats your boat
TG: fuck that
TG: whatever keeps your laptop on the meteor
TG: sorry go on
CG: IT’S FINE
CG: ACTUALLY MORE THAN FINE
CG: THIS IS GOING TO BE THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I SAY THIS
CG: I AM ENCOURAGING YOU TO GET SIDETRACKED HERE
CG: PLEASE CONTINUE WITH YOUR STUPID JOKES THAT I DO NOT THINK ARE FUNNY
CG: THE QUESTION IS STUPID AND IDIOTIC OF MY THINKPAN TO EVEN IMAGINE ASKING SUCH A HORRIFIC THING
TG: shit well now i wanna know
TG: youve piqued my interest
TG: peeked
TG: peaked
TG: no piqued is right
TG: just a stupid looking word
TG: fuck
TG: ask the question now
TG: you know i will continuously get sidetracked
TG: im gonna hit you with that speak now or forever hold your silence shit
TG: like were at a fucking wedding
CG: FUCK
CG: FINE
CG: DO YOU THINK
CG: WOULD YOU
CG: FUCK I KEEP SENDING THE MESSAGE TO EARLY
CG: DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD DO IT AGAIN
CG: KISS ME I MEAN
CG: OR MY HORNS
CG: I DONT CARE
TG: uh i mean
TG: like if we were in that scenario again or
TG: or like if you were just infront of me right now
TG: this second
TG: and wide awake
CG: WHATEVER WAY YOU WANT
CG: JUST IS THERE A CHANCE IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN
CG: I GUESS IM ASKING IF YOU LIKED IT
TG: i cant tell if you want me to or not
TG: is there a correct answer here
CG: NO IT’S YOUR OPINION
CG: I GUESS
CG: THERE IS AN ANSWER I WOULD PREFER BUT JUST ANSWER
CG: AND THEN I MIGHT COME OVER OR NOT
CG: IF YOU WANNA HANG OUT THAT IS
TG: ok well shit
TG: let me think
TG: gotta hone into my deep dark thoughts and see
TG: if i might possibly kiss karkat vantas
TG: again
TG: uh
CG:. . .
TG: woah sorry i spaced out for like 10 minutes thinking
CG: FIGURED
TG: i would say
TG: there is sort of
TG: a big possibility it might happen again
TG: but if you dont want it then ill just shove that away
TG: im kinda an expert of that ive found
TG: and its totally cool if you dont wanna hang now
TG: and i guess even though it wasnt even a peck
TG: more a little brush of the lips
TG: ew never saying that again
TG: i guess it was sort of nice
TG: your horns feel nice thats not my problem
CG: IN RELATION TO ME MENTIONING COMING OVER EARLIER
CG: IF I DID COME OVER RIGHT NOW
CG: IS THERE A LIKELIHOOD YOU WOULD KISS ME
CG: FUCK I PROBABLY SHOULD'VE ASKED EARLIER
CG: THIS IS GONNA PROBABLY BE EMBARRASSING FOR YOU
CG: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FLUSH THING
CG: OR HUMAN ROMANCE
TG: wow ok
TG: coming on strong
TG: but i get it everyone wants in on the strider bloodline
TG: except
TG: oops
TG: ignore that
TG: to answer the questions
TG: now that youre really making me think about it
TG: the likelihood is high
TG: so ill keep my door locked
TG: and uh
TG: yeah fuck youre right this is embarrassing as shit
TG: i dont know what the right answer is
TG: so ill say maybe
TG: probably
TG: i dont really know what this feeling is
TG: . . .
TG: shit well this doesnt seem great
TG: soooo wrong answer
TG: . . .
TG: guess so
TG: damn
TG: well bye
but before you got the chance to cease the pestering of your now assumed very one-sided romance you hear the loud noise of someone pressing on your door handle and throwing their whole body into trying to open it, it’s locked, of course, but the force at which they hit it almost sent it flying off it’s hinges.
it startles you. shit, did something serious happen? you stand up and quickly rush over to open the door.
karkat bursts in and stares at you, you stumble backwards instinctively. the only sound is the slight panting coming from him, shit, did he run here?
hey
you couldve knocked
i told you the door was locked
or did you run here before you read that
FUCK
I DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE
I LEFT AFTER
THE
OTHER ONE
BEFORE THAT I WOULD IMAGINE
i forget whatever i said before it
hold on
you flop back onto your bed and reach out to your laptop, pulling in infront of you. scrolling up to the message he didn't see and looking at the one before it.
uhh
the
the likelihood is high..
RIGHT
THAT ONE
THAT’S IT
he continues staring at you, looking right into your shades as if he knows you're staring back.
sooo
what does that mean
youuuu
want me to kiss you?
IS YOUR THINKPAN THICKER THAN USUAL??
you feel a sudden aching tightness in your chest and you shift uncomfortably on your bed. your head lowers a little to the point of just staring eye level with the floor.
I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS
WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY
HEY I’M FLUSHED FOR YOU, DAVE STRIDER!!
FOR SOME FUCKING REASON
AND I KINDA WANT YOU TO KISS ME RIGHT NOW
LIKE YOU SAID IS LIKELY TO HAPPEN
SO IF IT ISN’T JUST LET ME KNOW AND I’LL GO FUCK OFF FOREVER!!
your head snaps upwards
what
wait fuck
youre flushed for me
DID I NOT SAY THAT
no you did
wow
WHAT
might be one of very few moments in my life
where i am speechless
OK
WELL ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR MOUTH ON MINE OR NOT
BECAUSE SO FAR I’M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS
right fuck
you didn’t see my messages
where i basically said
yeah i think im flushed for you too
so fuck yeah
come here
actually shut the door first
i do not want rose or anyone else on this meteor catching sight of this
this is about to be the sloppiest makeout session of your life man get ready
SHUT UP
WHY AREN'T YOU SPEECHLESS ANYMORE
despite his protests, karkat shuts your door and joins you on sitting on your bed.
later than night, whenever karkat decided to go back his room, you weren't sure how much time had passed.. a couple hours atleast, you imagine. right before you went to sleep you notice a few messages from karkat.
CG: SAME TIME TOMORROW?
CG: NOT THAT I WILL KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT TIME IT IS
CG: THAT’S YOUR THING
CG: SO JUST LET ME KNOW
CG: I'LL BRING OVER THE TRACK I MADE TOO
CG: IF YOU WANT
CG: AND
CG: YOU SAID MY HORNS WERE NICE TO KISS
CG: EVEN IF IT TECHNICALLY WASN’T A KISS WHEN YOU DID IT BEFORE
CG: BUT YOUR STUPID LIPS ARE NICE TO KISS
CG: NICER EVEN I WOULD ARGUE
CG: ALTHOUGH I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT KISSING SOMEONES HORNS IS LIKE
CG: AND I CAN’T REALLY TEST IT
CG: NOT WITH ANYONE ON THIS METEOR ANYWAYS
CG: FUCK WE’RE STUCK WITH PREDOMINATELY SHIT INDIVIDUALS
CG: THAT’S ACTUALLY NOT A NEW REVELATION
CG: I KNEW THAT
CG: BUT YOU'RE HERE SO THAT KIND OF EVENS IT OUT A LITTLE
CG: AND THE MAYORS COOL
CG: ANYWAY
CG: GOODNIGHT DAVE
CG: I LIKED TODAY
CG: <3
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
wow. your brain needs to stop being so negative. you started today pissed at yourself thanks to your brain.. and ended the day with a cute alien boyfriend. 1-0 dave strider vs brain. dave wins. and now it won't be weird for you to kiss his horns. so that’s 2-0 for dave, actually.