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Toshiro wasn't sure how many beers he had tonight. He sat next to other patrons, the number of guests dwindling as the hours passed. He just wanted to get so drunk he wouldn't have to experience a sober thought until the next morning.
This bar was quiet, two blocks away from their university campus - compared to the ones on the flashier side of town where most students went on Friday and Saturday nights to party hard and forget about responsibilities for the weekend.
For Toshiro, beers sounded more tempting than any club to wash away the stress of exams and back-to-back assignments.
When he asked for another refill, his vision started to blur. Next thing he knew, he heard another voice within earshot.
"He's been here for the past three hours."
"Don't worry, I'll pay for it."
"Uh, that's kind of you, but he's already paid for the whole night."
"Then I'll tip you extra."
Toshiro groaned, facepalming. He didn't have to look to know who it was that just showed up. Laios leaned his body against the counter, trying to peek at his face.
"Kabru said you'd be here."
Saying nothing, Toshiro finished his last beer.
Laios' carried him back to campus on piggyback. It's silent, save for the occasional cars driving through.
"Why did you come?" Toshiro asked stubbornly, the alcohol he drank made him lightheaded. If it weren't for Laios, he'd be unable to walk - but the idiot didn't need to know that. Just two weeks ago, Toshiro remembered storming out of that party Namari and Kabru invited him to, with Laios following after him, asking what his problem was, and everyone outside looking on in curiosity.
"My problem?" Toshiro had asked, sneering. "Don't you see it? This - we - doesn't work! I'm sick of it! All I ever get are stares when I tell them-"
"You're with me," Laios finished with a bitter nod, stopping Toshiro in his tracks. "If you're that embarrassed to be with me, why didn't you say so?"
That was the killer. When Toshiro noticed the eyes on them, Laios staring right at him with disappointment and hurt, Toshiro decided to admit defeat. He had only given a sour apology, leaving the party without another word.
They hadn't talked to each other since then. Toshiro stopped coming to club meetings because he didn't want to risk running into Laios, and unfortunately, Laios was always present. It was fine, their campaign could go on without Toshiro considering where they'd left off anyway.
"Why did I come?" Laios repeated the question, exhaling as he contemplated his answer. "I don't know, actually."
This was why Toshiro couldn't stand him sometimes. He was a very logical person. This was how he was raised, otherwise he'd never be fit to be heir of his father's company. Laios Touden didn't need a reason to do the things he did.
"I don't get it," Toshiro mumbled. This should make him a walking red flag, after all. This was the guy who was known for smoking pigs at clubs, did kegstands at frat parties, and could squirt milk out his eyelids for the hell of it. He was the kind of guy that would make a pristine rich kid's parents like Toshiro's have a heart attack if Laios told them what he'd been up to. They were polar opposites; someone Toshiro would've avoided if it weren't for their mutual friends. "After everything I said to you, you still came to see me."
"Yeah." Laios said, like there was nothing odd about it. It only pissed Toshiro off even more.
"Why?"
"I can't just leave you there. What if you passed out in the middle of the street?"
Toshiro snorted, scoffing. "You are aware that I practice martial arts?"
Laios laughed. "I don't doubt you can probably kick my ass while drunk. Then again, you didn't." Instead, Toshiro was clinging to his back, Laios' cypress scent calmed him, as it was so welcoming. He hated that. It should make him nauseous if anything. "I can't say for any other stranger that would see you this vulnerable."
"I can take care of myself," Toshiro huffed. "You shouldn't have come."
"I don't care if you're mad at me, because I've already forgiven our fight."
"That's - that's preposterous -" Toshiro sputtered in defense, "Why continue to torment yourself by being seen with me?"
Laios chuckled. "Who said being with you was tormenting?"
Toshiro stayed quiet.
"You might think so, so I'll just have to prove myself to you. Lucky for me, I don't really care what people think," Laios explained, pausing at a stop light. Toshiro's eyes widened when Laios turned his head slightly with a gentle smile. "And you shouldn't either."
Toshiro's heart pounded in his chest. The traffic sign flashed - as Laios was permitted to cross the street.
"Yeah, you were an asshole at that party. But at the end of the day, it doesn't change my feelings for you. I think," Laios sighed, "if you like someone, if you really really like someone, you should let them know as much as you can."
Toshiro reached for Laios' ear and tugged on it.
"Ack!" The noise Laios' made in pain just made Toshiro pull on it tighter until he let go. "What was that for?!" He asked, pouting.
"It's easy for you to say," Toshiro said bitterly. "I've spent my whole life trying to live up to the expectations of others. I don't just do impulsive, stupid things out of my own free will. Which is why - I don't even understand why I have feelings for you, either..."
"Toshiro..."
"I am not worth this trouble. You misguide yourself."
"That's not true," Laios countered in earnest. "Tell yourself that all you want, but to me, you're worth it."
Silent and brooding, Toshiro buried his neck deep into the crook of Laios' shoulder to hide the scarlet in his cheeks.
Laios was like a leech that wouldn't pull himself off Toshiro even if Toshiro tried.
And he'd never admit how nice it felt, to be around someone who didn't expect much from him; just his presence, so they could exist together in a world so unpredictable. The air felt easier to breathe the longer they remained, just being.