Work Text:
It was a beautiful, peaceful morning in the Hashira’s House, and--
“LA VACA! MOO! LA VACA! MOO!”
--well, never mind. The sound of Merengue filled the Hashira’s house, and one thing became painfully clear to everyone who had just woken up; taking away Uzui’s Megaphone didn’t change much.
“TENGEN!” Obanai Iguro kicked his door open and marched out. “TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN! You’re stressing out Kaburamaru!!”
“What??” The Sound Hashira called from the living room.
“Tengen please turn that off.” Giyu Tomioka asked calmly as he emerged from the basement. As he entered the living room, he realized what was happening, and felt dread set in. It was another holiday.
“Hola, Tomioka!!” Tengen Uzui waved, grinning from ear to ear as he danced. He was dressed in a Sombrero, overly colorful poncho, and had on a fake mustache.
“...I’m going back to bed.” Giyu turned to retreat into the basement.
“Hey! Not this time! Today’s culturally important!!” Tengen called. Before he could pursue the water pillar, what felt like a blast of wind knocked him to the ground. As it turns out, it’s just another hashira.
“SHUT THAT SHIT OFF!!” Sanemi Shinazugawa barked, wringing Uzui by the neck.
Tengen squirmed about, before rolling himself atop Sanemi, and prying the pillar off him. He coughed harshly as the others ventured down into the living room.
“Good Morning, guys!” Mitsuri Kanroji yawned, unaffected by the boisterous noise.
“What are we celebrating today, Tengen?...” Shinobu Kocho asked, equally unaffected but much more defeated.
“IT'S CINCO DE MAYO!!~” Kyojuro Rengoku declared, hurriedly rushing back upstairs, and returning in his own sombrero.
“Great, now there’s two walking stereotypes…” Obanai puffed.
“Right on, Best Buddy!” Tengen chimed, high fiving the flame pillar.
“Cinco de mayo? Isn’t that a Mexican holiday?” Muichiro Tokito asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Yep! It’s like a Mexican Independence day--”
“WRONG!!” Kyojuro interjected before Tengen could continue. “Cinco De Mayo is so much more than that! It marks the anniversary of The Battle of Puebla: a battle where Mexican troops successfully fought back French Invaders! It’s a major event in Mexican History!!”
“...You always were a history buff.” Tengen chuckled. “Well, buddy, how about you take the lead! I’m gonna…get some stuff set up.”
“Right away!” Kyojuro nodded, turning to his peers. “So; what would you all like to know?”
“You said it was about the Battle of Puebla? I haven’t heard of it.” Gyomei Himejima asked curiously.
“Indeed! It happened during the Second French Intervention in Mexico! It was a full military invasion, and despite having better equipment than local forces, the French weren’t able to storm their forts! Their victory, even if short lived, stands tall as a testament to the indomitable human spirit!” Kyojuro exclaimed, his eyes blazing with patriotism for a nation he’d never even visited.
“Wow…” Mitsuri, for one, was in awe.
“But they lost the overall war, didn’t they?”
“Yes! But, their victory proved that in a battle, spirit is your best weapon! No matter how advanced your opponent might be, you can win!!”
“Okay, we got it Kyojuro, thank you--”
“COME ON EVERYONE! LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!”
Kyojuro, despite not being as obnoxious as Tengen, still proved adamant about celebrating…even if it was early in the morning. With the Merengue playing yet again, it became clear that this too would be an all day thing.
“...This sucks.” Sanemi grumbled.
Tengen shortly returned with a pair of bottles. “Who wants Tequila?!”
“...Could be worse though.” Sanemi hurried over to Tengen.
Thankfully, the party was actually pretty great. The Music, though no one understood it, was especially nice. Mitsuri was especially fond of it. “Come on Obi, dance with me!!”
“But it’s so fast paced, I--”
“Then you just gotta catch up!~” Mitsuri giggled, swooping Obanai off his feet. “We just had a dance class about bachata too!”
Kanroji pulled Iguro close, beginning a very intimate form of dance with him. The Love Hashira was blushing, however saw their dance in a very intimate way. For Obanai however…he was seeing jesus. The way Mitsuri moved, the way they got so close…it was all too much for him!
“Oh wow…that’s…uh, yeah…” Shinobu giggled awkwardly, moving a hand to cover Muichiro’s eyes.
“Ready Rengoku?” Sanemi grinned.
“You bet!” Kyojuro nodded excitedly.
“Alrighty! Salud!”
With that, the pair each killed a Tequila shot. Sanemi wiped his lip and grinned, meanwhile, Kyojuro entered a harsh coughing fit.
“Hah, here I thought you were the flame hashira!”
“Hhh…what?...” Rengoku continued to cough.
“Okay everyone, the food is here!” Tengen grinned as he returned.
Parked outside was…a Taco Truck! ‘One Night Taco Stand’, a local business, owned by a small family!
“Ooh, food’s here!” Mitsuri dashed off to the truck, Obanai weakly reaching out for her before he passed out.
The Tacos were fantastic, the Hashira sitting outside and enjoying their meal. Even Giyu had come back out at the offer of food! And drinks…he sat with Tengen, the pair relaxing in the moment.
“What? A young man like you? C’mon!!” Tengen laughed.
“No, I mean it. I just don’t think anyone would really find me attractive..” Giyu sighed, downing some more beer.
“I’m sure you’ve got a good shot! Heck…you didn’t hear it from me, but Suma actually has a crush on you a bit.”
“...I didn’t hear that from you, actually.” Giyu awkwardly admitted.
“...what?”
“Yeah. Hinatsuru told me.”
“...you talk with my wives?”
“Yeah. We hang out on Sundays. She calls them stress relief sundays. We go to the mall, have a spa day, it’s nice.”
“You have spa days with my wife?!”
“Uh, yeah??” Giyu tilted his head.
“...Let’s have a little talk.” Uzui glared.
Speak of the devil, they arrived within the hour. Hinatsuru stepped out first,“Hello everyone!!~”
“Heyyy! Baby!!” Tengen grinned, waving to her.
“Happy Cinco de Mayo!” Makio chimed, bringing out homemade guacamole.
“Hi guys!” Suma followed out, carrying out fried plantains from a local market, and churros she got at StuffMart.
“Hello everyone!” Tanjiro Kamado greeted, emerging from the Kunoichi’s van, Nezuko following suit.
“Happy…Sink de…Cinco…Happy Holidays!!” Nezuko Kamado chimed.
Muichiro hopped up, hurrying over to them,“Hey Tanjiro!”
“Hey! Nice outfit!”
“Thanks, Tengen told me to wear it.” Muichiro answered, having a Sombrero on, along with his own fake mustache.
“That’s kinda racist…” Zenitsu Agastuma, looking for an advantage on Tengen, hurried over. “Hey Tengen! This whole racist charade ends now!!”
“Oh yeah! Hey Nezuko, catch!” Tengen took off his Sombrero, throwing it to her like a frisbee.
“NOOOO! DON’T PUT IT ON NEZUKO JUST DON’T!”
However, it was far too late! Nezuko grabbed the hat, happily putting it on, and declaring,“Feliz Jueves!!~”
“...What?” Tengen and Zenitsu shared a rare moment of unity in their utter confusion.
“Shinobu?”
“Whuh? Huh…OH! Kanao! Hi!!~” Shinobu lifted her head off the table, grinning at her tsuguko.
Kanao stared awkwardly; Shinobu had killed ten shots? It wasn’t even that late!!
“Hehe, I misshed you…”
“I missed you too.”
“Hey ‘Nemi!” Genya Shinazugawa stepped out, looking for his brother. “Sanemi? Hey, you guys seen him?”
“Oh! He’s inside watching the movie I think.” Gyomei answered, effectively relegated to the role of group babysitter, as he (and Muichiro) were the only ones still sober.
Genya ventured into the house, shortly hearing the faint sound of the tv. “Remember me…”
There, on the couch, Sanemi was watching Pixar’s Coco…and bawling like a child. He held a pillow tightly to his body with one hand, and a near empty bottle of booze with the other.
“Aniki?”
“Whuh?!” Sanemi turned, quickly falling from the couch. He got back to his feet, still furiously wiping his face. “The phuck are you doin’ here?...”
“...How’s the movie?” Genya smirked.
“...Shuddup.” Sanemi puffed, pulling his brother into a hug.
“HAHAHAHA! OUTTA MY WAY!!” Inosuke skipped any sort of formal greeting, and instead made a b-line for the Taco Truck. “I want one taco with EVERYTHING ON IT!!”
“You put your own sauces on it, weirdo.” Obanai puffed…before getting an idea. “In fact, that’s how we all got so strong!”
Inosuke, tempted by the idea of more power, turned to him,“Huh?”
“Yeah! We put as much of that hot sauce on our tacos as possible! It’s what gives a hashira their power!”
“...OUTTA MY WAY! I GOTTA DRINK IT!!” Inosuke pushed past the Serpent Pillar, grabbing the hot sauce and removing its cork.
“HEY! NOT LIKE THAT!!” Obanai, realizing his mistake, rushed to fix it.
Sure, the Hashira would probably wake up hungover, and sure, Tengen just used the holiday as an excuse to party. But man if it wasn’t fun.