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Somewhere in the depths of the forest, in the quiet of night, two men sat across from each other at a rustic wooden picnic table. On one side was a tall man- sharp featured, with hair strewn of gold and eyes like the earth’s own soil… deep, beckoning. His name was Elijah. Opposite from him was a darkened shroud, a shorter figure draped in layers of worn black fabrics, littered with a few tiny white sprouts- mushrooms, which grew from his head. He donned a partial mask, one which resembled a smiling black cat. It obscured his eyes, only leaving his lower lip and chin in view… the glimpse of skin was cold, tinted blue and void of saturation. The cat’s eyes were locked onto the taller man in a perpetual stare, taking him in, basking in the golden light of his presence.
The black cat man smiled gently, he’d been waiting so long… so, so long for this night. He’d viscerally felt each and every second of the years he’d spent waiting. The tension had only grown over the previous few nights… nights spent diligently tracking the moon’s phases, waiting for her to come out of hiding. She was to bear witness; and there she hung now, full and shining through the rolling clouds like a lighthouse, casting her gentle glow down to the clearing in which the two men sat. The trees seemed to part around them, and the moon focused her light in a glorious ray- as if she only cared to see them. Nothing else mattered, not tonight.
The blond man shifted slightly in his seat, tracing his thumb along the ridge of an empty porcelain cup. It was still warm from the raspberry tea it held only minutes ago. In the midst of the silence, he found himself glancing back and forth between his surroundings and the flat blue eyes of the other’s mask, waiting for… something. The masked man sighed contentedly, he had his face resting in one hand, seeming completely swept away by the sight in front of him. Elijah finally spoke,
“Sydney… you know you could’ve just invited me for tea, right? When you spoke of some ceremony, some… becoming, or what have you… I wasn’t picturing this. You frightened me a little with that, I almost didn’t come.”
His words came out with an heir of hesitance, to which the black cat man… Sydney giggled.
“But you did! I knew you would.”
“Well… I wasn’t going to just leave you there waiting at the edge of the forest. You weren’t very well hidden, I could see you watching all the way from the nurses cabin.”
Sydney laughed again, lighthearted and mischievous.
“I was waiting to walk you over here, silly. It’s hard to find your way through this forest without a guide. Even still, I let you come to me, didn’t I? You came right up to me, alllll the way from your cabin.”
Elijah hesitated to answer. It was more complicated than that… the sight of the black cat man- of Sydney, it did something to him. He couldn’t quite place what exactly switched in his brain, but something about the near-stranger made Elijah feel… unguarded. It's like every time he laid eyes on Sydney, a dam rose up in his mind- blocking out the flow of rational thought, of fear, of questions… his sensibilities weren’t dissolved however, only withheld. They’d gradually pile up behind that mental dam until Sydney was out of sight- then the flood gates would open, and a roaring wave of confusion would hit him all at once. Every question Elijah had blindly waved off, every dangerous situation he’d just thoughtlessly wandered into as if nothing could hurt him… processing it all in the aftermath knocked him off balance. What’s more is the inner conflict that ensued after every encounter, the whiplash between the cold hard smack of sensibility, and the complete ease he felt in those prior moments with the black cat man. Both rationales were just as convincing in the moment… so which was he to trust? And why, when he saw the black-draped figure standing at the forest's edge just an hour ago… why did the sight instinctively draw him in? It compelled him to care for Sydney somehow, as if it was his duty to do so. It lulled him into a sense of complete unguardedness, as if Sydney was completely harmless.
Like the sweet song of a siren… like the pleading eyes of a stray cat, like a patient relying on his care- Sydney beckoned him. And now here he was, sitting for tea with a strange masked man, in the middle of a forest he didn’t know how to navigate his way out of- and still, he felt at ease. Some voice in the back of his mind scolded him for being so reckless- but it was quickly pulled away in the undertow of Sydney’s disarming presence. Elijah was unwilling to vocalize any of this- he worried it would hurt Sydney to know that he didn’t come fully on his own volition.
“Angel, are you alright?” Sydney’s voice snapped Elijah back to the present, he straightened up and tightened his hold on the teacup he’d been fidgeting with.
“Ah— yes! Sorry, I’m… Sydney, the tea was lovely dear, but I’m not sure… I just want to know why you invited me out here.”
Sydney looked up towards the sky for a moment, ruminating on the question before speaking- face still tilted upwards.
“It’s time. I could hear her calling you. I hear your name in whispers carried on the wind- a hymn to fill the night’s silence. It sings me to sleep each night like a lullaby, and when I close my eyes, it feels like you’re there. I see your face when I look at the sky, hidden in the spaces between the stars. The world writes its odes to you, it wants you back. Tonight the moon visits us face to face- her light shines only for you my love, a lighthouse to guide you home. When you emerge from your chrysalis and open your new eyes… her gentle glow will let you see, all you have to do is follow it up. And I will follow you, I will witness your transfiguration, I will be the testament to your divinity, that is the purpose I’m here to serve. You will be free.”
Sydney spoke like he was in a trance, every word spilled from his mouth in an unbroken stream- it all flowed in through one ear and out the other, washing over Elijah’s brain like cold water as it went. That voice of reason in the back of his head shouted louder, screaming now to be heard as it drifted further away. The mental dam holding back all his fear and confusion began to bend under the mounting pressure, threatening to crack. He couldn’t make sense of any of this… it left him just staring blankly, completely frozen.
“Oh angel, don’t be afraid…” Sydney cooed, reaching his hand across the table to hold Elijah’s. It was cold, only discernible from the nighttime air by its weight.
The blond looked up to meet the other’s eyes- or the plastic veil in their place. Sydney must’ve seen the apprehension painted on Elijah’s face. He tilted his head playfully, smiling like he had an idea- he reached his free hand up to the mask, and slowly began to lift it. Elijah did nothing to protest, and as the mask rose, he felt all the tension in his body lift off of him in sync… until it was gone.
Buried beneath that mask was a corpse. Dark hair cascaded down to frame his pale round face, like the night sky enveloping the moon- tiny sprouts of white fungi shone through the sea of black like stars. His lips were tinted blue, and his pupils foggy… those hazy, clouded eyes were fixed right onto Elijah’s. The taller man found himself relaxing, suddenly attuned to the other’s energy.
“See? Do you feel better?” Sydney asked in a sympathetic tone. Elijah just nodded.
“I can explain it all to you. I’ve been waiting for so long. The body is a selfish vessel, it doesn’t care for your soul. It shackles you with fear so you are bound to it- that’s why you were afraid to come tonight… but I know how to free you. I know what you’re meant to be.”
“What I’m… meant to… be?”
“An angel.” Sydney whispered reverently.
He shakily rose to his feet, pushing himself up from the table with one arm- the other was still occupied, holding onto Elijah. He strengthened his grip on the taller man’s hand and tugged gently, urging him to follow his lead.
“Come, I want you to join me for this.”
Elijah found himself being strung along by Sydney’s request, like he was obliged to follow it- like it was his duty to keep Sydney comfortable, it wasn’t even something he questioned until he was already on his feet, following the shorter man towards the middle of the clearing.
He felt the mossy ground shifting beneath his feet with every step he took, and it only got softer as they made it to the field’s center. Sydney stopped in front of him- looking up at the sky, before smiling and wordlessly sitting down right there on the ground. He looked up at Elijah, who was still wide-eyed and visibly hesitant.
“Sit with me, angel. The moss won’t hurt you, I promise!” He spoke with a lighthearted tone, not seeming to realize just how deep the other’s confusion went. But Elijah found himself sitting down anyways, not even really thinking about it.
When his body met the ground, he thought for a second that the moss might just swallow him whole- it sank beneath him so eagerly, welcoming him into its soft embrace. He was beginning to feel strangely tired… he thought to himself that this would be a lovely place to rest- and as if Sydney heard his inner monologue, he laid himself down entirely, angling his face towards the sky. Something about that image made Elijah’s heart sink- he was hit with a sense of dread, like a flash of some old memory which came and went too quickly for him to recognize. Sydney’s long hair splayed out on a blanket of green, his form lit gently by the moon, the dark shadows which cast down from the tree line and reached for his body like greedy hands… the strange deja-vu of it all was startling. It drew up an emotion he couldn’t place, and only gave him more questions which he couldn’t articulate.
“Sydney… I really… I don’t know, I’m—“
Sydney reached for the other’s hand from the spot where he lay, resting his own on top of it.
“Shhh, hey, hey… it’s alright, love. I’ll explain it all to you, just lay down with me, ok? You don’t need to worry about a thing right now.” Sydney’s tone was so reassuring… when he looked up at the taller man, his eyes conveyed such a genuine kindness… Elijah couldn’t help but cave. He settled in beside Sydney, letting his head sink down into the ground. It held him so softly there, so securely, like the embrace of a lover. The smell of earth was strong at this proximity, it soothed him further into an unguarded state. The two men lay facing the sky, gazing up at the stars above. There were so many out here, away from the pollution of city lights. It’s something that had lost its sense of novelty for Elijah, after working at the camp for so long… but tonight he felt wonder flowing through his veins, same as it did on that first overnight stay— three years ago now. The night blew a soft, cool breeze over his skin… in the silence, his ears attuned to the chirping of crickets, the rustling of leaves, the distant call of an owl. He let his mind float away from him, getting lost in the sea of stars. Sydney squeezed his hand once, and Elijah’s hand tensed instinctively in response, grounding him back in the present. He tried again to speak, still looking straight up at the sky.
“I still don’t understand any of what you’ve said. Why did you really bring me out here, Sydney?”
“Oh, angel…” Sydney laughed. “This is your ceremony. The one I told you about, remember? It’s your becoming, my love. You said it scared you when I explained it all before, but this isn’t so scary is it?”
“I— are you speaking metaphorically?” Elijah’s voice took a sharp upturn as he tried to phrase his question gently.
“No. This is it. Not so bad, huh?”
“How… I mean, no, this is… it’s nice, Sydney, but I don’t understand. A ceremony requires witnesses, it implies some sort of celebration does it not? What are we celebrating?”
“We have witnesses! Can’t you feel their presence? Their excitement?”
Elijah felt his head growing heavier- he wasn’t sure what to attribute the sensation to, however he was certain that Sydney’s ominous answers were not helping.
Sydney took the hint from Elijah’s confused silence.
“We’re surrounded by witnesses. We’re bathing in the light of one right now… you and I are looking right at her, and she’s looking back. I’ve been waiting for weeks for her to come out of hiding. She took her time doing so, but all good things do I suppose! I don’t mind waiting. I’ve waited for so long… and the moon, she’s heard yeeeears worth of my woes, my ramblings and… preachings, I suppose. I’ve told her everything about you, since the beginning. I've been confiding in her for a long long time, she’s more of a listener than a talker though- sooo I do the talking! I’m good at talking. I only thought it was fair that she’d be here to witness this night.” There was a subtle dip in energy in the man’s voice… he sounded no less passionate, but his words came out slower.
“So the moon… is the ceremony’s witness?”
“And the trees, and the moss, each and every star in the sky, the tulips growing along the tree line, the fireflies dancing through the air… I can hear them all like a choir, singing in glorious harmony. It’s all for you, love. Last night a swarm of mayflies visited my camp; they circled me and hummed your name like a melody. I told them that in just over a day’s time, I’d bring you to meet them. Even the pinned insects you brought me from that… dubious co-nurse of yours, they call for you, angel. They all want to welcome you home. The mycelium beneath us now, it’s reaching for you, it wants you in its embrace, can you sense it? Every time you take a step, it reaches. It knows you're here now, and it’s so honored to partake in your becoming. It will alleviate you of your body… all you have to do is sleep, it will take care of the rest. It will show you a love more absolute than anything you’ve known.”
“No, I— I have to be back by morning, I can’t just abandon the kids, and Adam…”
“You are so much more than that, darling. You are made for so much more, this place, the way it treats you, and this… this body— it holds you captive. I don’t know why you’ve been shackled the way you have, but I’ve seen what you’re meant to be. I’ve lain on death’s doorstep, and been guided back to life by your radiant light… I’ve asked the moon to be that guiding light for you tonight. I remember… the first time I opened my eyes after it all went dark. I remember seeing an angel looming above me, a hazy white light emanating from behind its head like a halo. I awoke so cold, haunted by this unshakable memory of death, but by some miracle… I was alive. The angel offered me its light, and the warmth of its touch as it nursed me back to stability… don’t you remember, love? You… you are a radiant sun, a being of pure love, you’re capable of miracles. I am testament to that… I am the moon, only visible because of your light. I am proof of what you are, and I see you. I know that light is still within you now, trapped beneath your skin, forced to masquerade as a human, forced to tolerate mistreatment and rejection. I can feel it… I feel the warmth of sunlight when your skin brushes mine. Your body is a chrysalis, you are what will emerge from it. You will be free, angel. And I will follow you, to love and know you forever, to be your witness. We will not continue to wilt with these wretched bodies… the constant suffering they bring, the aches and strain, the limitations forced upon us by confinement to a vessel…” His voice rose and fell with emotion as he delivered his sermon, rolling like waves which crashed harshly onto the shore with the last words he spoke.
Elijah didn’t respond… he didn’t know what to say. So many pieces were coming together for him just now and— it was too much to process. He felt… so tired… when he tried to recall any of what Sydney said, he drew up blurry emotions rather than words. Feelings of awe, realization, fear and comfort melded into one inseparable compound, and a profound sense of empathy. Sydney was still visible in his periphery. The only words he remembered clearly enough to respond to were the last few.
“Sydney, I’m not constantly suffering… my body is good to me. Wait, is that— if that’s how you feel, you shouldn’t even be here right now, we should get you to an actual doctor. I’m just a camp nurse, I can’t… I’m not—“
Sydney squeezed Elijah’s hand again. He squeezed back instinctively, minding the tension that had grown in his body… he tried to relax, but something was starting to feel very wrong inside.
“You are, love. You brought me back. You returned my soul to my body, but my body is still broken. That’s just the nature of flesh, to break. Now, I’ll finally be relieved of it, with you right here...”
“No, I don’t want to— Sydney, my body is fine, I’m fine—“
“That won’t last. It never lasts. It will betray you eventually… that’s what they do.” Sydney’s words were slow… soft, almost shakey.
“You could have your wellness ripped away from you at any moment. Then, you’ll find yourself even more trapped than you already were, in a vessel which is slowly rotting every single second you’re alive, and it will take your mind with it. The world is cruel and uncaring, it’s been disrupted beyond repair by the selfishness of man, the only respite I’ve found is here in the forest... I feel whole here. I will be whole here. You aren’t cruel like human people, you aren’t selfish… because you’re not one of them. You won’t have to pretend for much longer.”
The stars appeared to dim… the whole world was slowly growing shades darker. Elijah’s every thought became too blurry to fully grasp- they slipped through his fingers and swirled around him without ever disappearing, just flooding his head until he was wading through a thick fog of confusion. He didn’t respond- he didn’t know how. He stared up at the sky, the moon stared back. Something was wrong and he knew he needed to do something, but he couldn’t… piece together… anything.
Sydney squeezed his hand, he lay still.
Sydney squeezed again, and Elijah squeezed back this time.
“Why… do you keep doing that?” He managed to push out the question.
“Checking to see if you were… well… it’s just something an old friend used to do for me when I was...” Sydney’s voice came out incredibly shaky, faltering between words. He sounded afraid, which should’ve made Elijah afraid in turn. Something was definitely wrong, something Sydney knew and Elijah didn’t.
He could hear Sydney softly crying…
“I thought I’d be ready for this part.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.
“I’m not alone this time, I’m not alone, I’m not alone…”
Elijah would probably be very concerned right now if he could piece his thoughts together, or if there wasn’t that dam of false safety blocking out his rational mind. Instead he felt nothing more than a hazy sense of anxiety- muffled by the figure at the edge of his vision. Elijah heard Shdney vocalize a strenuous movement- he’d pushed himself up slightly, just enough to enter Elijah’s direct field of view. The taller man looked upon the other, paler than he’d ever seen him before, with tears in his eyes… he should’ve felt fear then. He should’ve felt fear long ago, but as he looked up at the moon-faced man there with him, he instantly relaxed. Like nothing could hurt him… like his own self-preservation was a non-issue, instead he felt that familiar compulsion to simply care for Sydney. That all made more sense now. He couldn’t do anything but return the eye contact, trying to communicate an emotion he couldn’t even name.
“All along… you were planning to throw it away? The miracle, you told me I brought you back, you called that miraculous…”
“Oh darling, it was. It was. Not that I lived– but that I got the chance to witness you. To know you, to love you, to be the one to realize your truth. I wasn’t brought back to live a long life, that was never in the cards for me. I returned with a purpose. It’s nearly done… it ends with you.”
Elijah didn’t like that answer… It made him feel guilty. It made him feel wanted in a way he’d never felt before.
Sydney shuffled over weakly, collapsing his body onto the other man’s, and shifting his head over to Elijah’s chest. He closed his eyes and listened… he heard the beating of an angel’s heart. Slow… slowing… carrying him off to sleep like a lullaby.
“I put seeds in all my pockets…” Sydney managed to vocalize, barely a whisper.
“We’ll grow into the same garden.”
Elijah felt himself overtaken with a feeling of vertigo, like he was sinking impossibly deep into the moss below.
All the way back at the picnic table sat two empty teacups, now having lost the warmth of the tea they’d once held. Beside one sat a discarded black cat mask, no longer needed. There would soon be nothing left to hide. Somewhere in Sydney’s camp was an empty supply of a slow-acting poison which worked like a merciful euthanasia— and lying still in the middle of that clearing was a supposed angel, beside him, the miracle he performed.
Somewhere in the forest, leaves crunched in a frantic rhythm along the path to a certain clearing. Anxiety whirred and weaved between the trees, and the nurses cabin back at camp was completely empty. While one nurse lay dying- the other was approaching in haste, messy haired and wearing a red silk pajama robe, carrying a peculiar apple in his hand.
Elijah wouldn’t remember being found. He wouldn’t remember Adam calling his name through the forest before stumbling across their bodies in the clearing. He wouldn’t remember Adam rushing over, pushing Sydney off of him, pulling him up and nursing the apple into his mouth. He bit down, jaw guided to chew by the robed man’s hands, slowly regaining a sense of awareness as the substance settled in his stomach.
The only blurry memory he’d retain would be grabbing a piece of that strange fruit, and struggling against Adam to get a piece to Sydney.
He was so pale… prone as he was upon the forest floor — the light through the leaves, it dappled his shape, casting each curve and angle in harrowing relief — his eyes were still closed, he was still blissfully, peacefully unaware; and by some miracle, a glimmer of life would be restored.