Chapter Text
//Guess I never gave up
Playing golden child
Don't drink and don't do drugs
So I'm not cool enough
But I hid you in my room
When mom and dad were fighting
Back when we were young
Wouldn't let you hear too much
Yeah, I'm good at that stuff//
It was a rainy cold night, making it miserable for patrol. Alec tightened his grip on his bow, not willing to risk dropping it from the slippery rooftop. He tugged his jacket closer, wishing he could pull his hood up but knowing it would block his vision.
“Alec, even the demons don’t want to be out tonight,” Jace commented loosely, looking up at his parabatai from the fire escape. His tone wasn’t quite complaining, yet, but Alec knew Jace was already thinking about the implications of skipping out on patrol early.
“Statistically, demons come out less during thunderstorms,” Isabelle chimed in, the rain gliding off her leather pants and jacket.
“We’ll be relieved by Clearwater’s team in half an hour,” Alec stated as a reminder.
Isabelle pursed her lips in disappointment before summoning a smile that was meant to persuade. “Come on, Alec, what’s thirty minutes? We’ve barely had any demonic activity tonight.”
It wasn’t as if Alec didn’t understand where they were coming from - he could. They only had one demon sighting that night, which was easily taken care of. The rain had long since seeped through through jackets into their clothes, soaking their hair, and creating a generally damp and miserable feeling.
On the other hand, they were Shadowhunters. They were trained to deal with any sort of weather or conditions. The city and its people depended on them to protect them. It only took mere minutes for a demon to show up and kill a mundane or unsuspecting downworlder.
“Thirty minutes can be life or death during a demon attack and you know it,” Alec answered, knowing they wouldn’t be happy with his answer.
Alec had been running the New York Institute as Acting Head since he was fourteen, the minimum age for it. That title came with a weight, a responsibility. He wondered if Jace or Isabelle would ever understand. In the nearly four years since becoming acting head, he had noticed a gradual shift between him and Jace and Isabelle. Isabelle once teased, heavy is the head that wears the crown. Perhaps she hadn’t been joking.
“After patrol we should go to one of the clubs,” Jace said, despite barely being seventeen. “I heard there was a new one opened over in Queens.”
Alec didn’t bother responding. He knew Jace wasn’t directing the comment toward him.
Jace, Alec, and Isabelle used to go get fast food or ice cream after long nights of patrol - ever since they were twelve. After Alec’s responsibilities increased, however, he wasn’t able to go with them as often and gradually the types of outings had shifting toward clubbing, parties, and drinking. Alec wanted to protect them, keep them from going, but they didn’t listen.
“Ooo sounds like fun. Alec, can you come too?” Isabelle asked, checking every now and then with him to see if he can go.
Alec shook his head. “I have reports to finish.”
He could practically see the stack of paperwork awaiting him when he returned to the Institute. But in a few short weeks, it would all be worth it. When he turned eighteen, he could apply to be Head of the New York Institute. His parents wouldn’t be happy about him taking it from them - but it wasn’t as if they had been around much in the past five years.
“You always have reports to finish,” Jace said with a grin. “Come on, you should join us for once.”
Maybe if Jace and Isabelle ever finished their reports without mistakes then Alec may have more time. He bit back the response.
“Please, Alec?”
Alec scrounged up a small smile but shook his head. He’d gone out with them one time to a club and regretted it. He was used to the chaos of the institute, but that was nothing coming to how overstimulating clubs are.
The rest of patrol went by with only one more demon sighting, a quick ravener demon to kill. Jace and Isabelle parted ways with Alec once it was over.
Alec ran back to the Institute, burning off the excess energy from his runes so he wouldn’t have that itch under his skin to run while doing paperwork. Though he would likely need a stamina rune to keep awake, he doubted he’d have any sleep for a few more hours.
Alec didn’t know how right he was until he reached the Institute, Andrew Underhill meeting him by the door.
“Don’t tell me, Max pranked the recruits again?” Alec guessed, Underhill only meeting him at the front when something was wrong. “Did Raj break the computers again?”
Underhill’s lips twitched upward into a brief smile before shaking his head. “Your parents are here.”
Alec froze in place, but only for a moment. Expect the unexpected, or so his mother always told him.
“Where are they?”
“Your office,” Underhill stated, and Alec noted how he said your office instead of theirs.
The office was meant for the Head or Acting Head of the Institute, and seeing how his parents had only visited a handful of times in the past years then it was effectively Alec’s office by now. Not that his parents would see it that way.
Alec tried to push back his worries, despite knowing that his parents only showed up when they wanted something. They liked to drop in unannounced to catch him off guard, to ensure he was running “their” Institute properly.
He wanted to laugh at the knowledge that they thought they were doing him a favor by letting him run one of the largest Institutes in the world at fourteen. Alec had heard and seen enough from other Institutes, Downworlders, and mundanes to know that wasn’t normal.
“There may be an emergency that needs your attention in, ten or so minutes?” Underhill said, a knowing look in his eye at he walked with Alec toward the operations room. Alec always liked to check in with his people before heading to his office.
Alec quirked his lips upward in what could almost be considered a smile. “Never change, Underhill, never change.”
While there were many that tried to challenge Alec’s leadership over the years, he had slowly gained the respect of his Institute. Underhill was a transfer two years ago, and now he was Head of Security and a trusted friend.
Alec didn’t rush through his standard checkins, doing everything as meticulously as always.
“Gladstone, how are patrols looking?” Alec asked, looking over at the red headed Shadowhunter typing on a screen.
The young woman instinctively straightened her stance. “Good, sir. Townsend returned early due to a injury, but he is already healing and doing well.”
“Good,” Alec said, nodding approvingly, making a mental note to read that report later.
He checked the monitors as always for demonic activity, comparing tonight’s scans to previous nights. The analysts would go this more thoroughly, but he liked to keep updated by looking himself.
By time Alec finished checking in, the damp clothes were sticking to his skin uncomfortably and he knew there was still some ichor left from the demon attack that didn’t come off in the rain. He stopped by his room briefly to shower and change clothes before finally heading to his office.
“Alexander, where have you been?” Maryse asked sharply as he entered the office, seated in his seat behind the desk.
Alec kept his expression carefully neutral. “I had patrol earlier and I had checkins to complete upon returning to the Institute. Next time, feel free to schedule a meeting if you need me.”
His tone stayed matter of factly, purposefully light and steady.
“I don’t need a meeting to see my son,” Maryse said, her words appearing a motherly gesture but Alec could see through them easily.
He wasn’t quite sure why he had tried to please them for so many years, and why after all this time he still wanted to make them proud. No matter what he did, it never quite measured up.
Alec didn’t respond, knowing by now that sometimes it was best to wait them out. Out of habit, he fell into parade rest with his hands interlocked behind his back.
“Your father and I have been discussing your future, Alec,” Maryse said. “With your eighteenth birthday approaching, it is time for you to begin courting. Idris has plenty of suitable young women from prominent families and I made a list for you.”
Only the years of painful lessons in self-control stopped Alec from dropping his mouth open in surprise. His parents had given hints about this before, but never quite so blatantly. He had been hoping to avoid this for a few more years.
Alec knew what was expected of him. His parents had planned this out for him - to get married, become head of the Institute once it suited them in a few more years, have babies to make the Shadowhunter population grow. He wouldn’t dare tell them that he was gay, that he had no interest in marrying a woman.
“Isn’t that a bit soon?” he tried saying instead, thinking of any way to spin this into a way of delaying. “I’m trying to focus on this Institute right now, give it my full attention.”
As expected, his mother smiled faintly at the last sentence. “And I’m glad you have that mindset, unlike Jace and Isabelle running around, but this is a good age to begin looking.”
“With the Institute, young recruits, and transfers, it doesn’t give me much time to look for a wife,” Alec said, trying not to betray any of his feelings on the topic.
Robert and Maryse exchanged glances, this time Robert speaking up. “Perhaps we can have Max transfer to a different Institute to undergo more training. That would free time up for you, wouldn’t it?”
The words themselves were posed as a logical solution, but Alec could read between the lines. Max was only eight, he didn’t have any runes yet, and he certainly didn’t need to train at a different Institute until he was at least twelve.
“That won’t be necessary,” Alec said, thinking to the guardianship papers in the locked drawer of his desk that he was waiting to file. Once he did, they wouldn’t have any way to take Max from him. Not after he was the one to have raised Max practically his whole life.
Maryse nodded approvingly. “I knew you would see reason. Where are Jace and Isabelle?”
“Finishing patrol duties,” Alec said automatically, knowing it would be easy enough to forge up an excuse on paper if needed.
Maryse narrowed his eyes. “We’ve already heard rumors that they have been gallivanting around with mundanes and Downworlders. See to it that you keep them under control, Alec. We do not need anything ruining our reputation.”
Alec clenched his jaw at that comment, having found out a few years ago that his parents had been Circle members. He thought that ruined their reputation far more severely than anything Jace or Isabelle would do. He kept his mouth shut.
“Max had his rune review last week,” Alec said instead, knowing how much his brother had been hoping his parents would make it to see him recite them.
“Yes, and his scores should improve before the next one,” Maryse said. “Increase his class and training schedule.”
Alec wasn’t going to let Maryse and Robert raise Max like they raised him. Max was smart, intelligent, even if his parents were too blind to se it.
“Will you be in attendance for his next rune review?” Alec asked out of courtesy, knowing Max was trying not have have his hopes up.
“We have matters to attend in Idris,” Maryse said, standing up. In Idris, they would pretend to be important and that they had political power.
“We need to get going now,” Robert stated.
Maryse nodded. “I left the list of women on your desk for you to review, Alec. There will be a ball in a couple months in Idris that I expect you to attend, many eligible ladies will be in attendance.”
Robert collapsed his hand onto Alec’s shoulder and he tried not to flinch. “Once you get married, we’ll see about getting the acting head part removed from your title.”
It was a bribe and a threat rolled into one, the look in his eyes cold and removed even as he stepped back. Alec could only nod.
Maryse and Robert left a few moments later thankfully, and Alec was able to return to his reports. Their visit made it harder to concentrate, but he managed to get through the necessary reports. He finished writing out his guardianship claim and Head of the Institute paperwork to send to Idris the day he turned eighteen.
He wouldn’t risk having the Institute or Max taken from him.
“Get some sleep, Underhill,” Alec said, calling out to the head of security once he left his office.
Underhill raised an eyebrow. “My shift ends in ten minutes. Your shift ended three hours ago.”
Oh. Alec managed a sheepish expression before saying goodnight, knowing he needed sleep.
Exhausted and tired, he wanted nothing more to collapse into bed. He swung the door to his room open, only to find someone curled up under his blanket and hugging his pillow. Max. On the other side of him was Isabelle, then Jace who was curved around them protectively.
Alec couldn’t help but smile at the sight, brushing his fingers lightly through Max’s hair. They were sound asleep, so Alec went ahead and quickly changed for sleep.
Alec climbed into the bed, between his siblings and the door. Jace was on the far side, the two parabatai able to keep Isabelle and Max safe between them. Max turned toward Alec once he was close enough, grabbing his shirt to keep a hold on him even as he softly snored.
Alec could only hope Isabelle and Jace hadn’t overheard any of his parents comments about them. He had always tried to shield them, and Max, from his parents criticisms.
Jace may have been the golden boy and Isabelle their dad’s princess, but neither of them were fully exempt to the pressures and harsh words from their parents. Max had been the favorite child since his birth, but even he heavily experienced the neglect now, the pressure. Alec bore it all the best he could, tried to protect them.
He could still remember when Isabelle was five and he found her crying in his room, hiding in the back of his closet because it was the “safest” place. He’d held her close and let her cry on his shoulder. She’d eventually told him she heard their parents fighting again, and how Maryse had yelled at her when she saw her. Since that moment, Alec was always on guard around their parents, careful to pull Isabelle away anytime he heard voices raise.
When Jace joined them when he turned ten, he hadn’t had to face as much criticism from Maryse and Robert due to his exceptional fighting skills. But due to his own father’s parenting, there were many scars left that eyes couldn’t see. Alec never hesitated to comfort Jace when nightmares struck.
Alec had been nine when Max was born, and he was the first one to hold him besides his mother and the doctor. His parents had told him he needed to protect Max like he did Isabelle, and he had taken that seriously. He was the one who watched Max between his patrols, who held his hand as he took his first steps, the one he turned to when he needed to cry.
Jace stirred after a moment, blinking his eyes to look at Alec, smiling sleepily. “Hey parabatai, it’s about time you made it back.”
“The paperwork never ends,” Alec said, not bringing up Maryse and Robert’s impromptu visit though he was sure he would have heard by now.
“You’re filing to be head of the Institute, right?” Jace asked, not one to bring up these sorts of topics much.
Alec nodded. “As soon as I’m able to, yes.”
“Good,” Jace said, one of the first times Jace had verbally approved of Alec’s leadership. Jace wasn’t one for words much, which Alec suspected was partially due to his father’s manipulation and lies growing up. “The Institute is better with you.”
“Thanks,” Alec said, knowing the word didn’t convey much, but pushing that feeling of gratefulness through the bond.
“Iz and I ran into Maryse and Robert on their way out,” Jace commented.
Alec had been afraid of that happening. He could only hope they were cordial in their remarks.
“I overheard them talking about taking over the Institute if things didn’t shape up,” Jace said, the unspoken comment knowing that the Institute was running better now than ever.
Alec wasn’t sure what to say, not knowing where Jace was going with this.
“Iz and I have your back, okay?” Jace finally said, getting to his point in his usual blunt way after beating around the bush. “No matter what that means.”
Alec offered his parabatai a nod of thanks, reaching over to squeeze Jace’s hand. It didn’t take Jace long to fall asleep after that.
Alec knew he’d wage war for them, for Jace, Izzy, and Max. That was the price for being oldest. Wasn’t it?