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April stops on the sidewalk before YOLO. Twists the hem of her jacket with her right hand, suddenly unsure if she made the right decision in coming here. Is about to turn around and leave when Sand’s voice reaches her ears.
“April? Is everything okay?”
She bites her lip, cringing. Then slowly turns in his direction. Spots him a little further from her, leaning against the wall under the shadowy part of the building. A cloud of smoke floats around his head. His eyes widen when their gazes meet. In that moment April realises she is illuminated by the bright light spilling from the street lamp near them. The tears she just shed must be glistening on her no doubt puffy and full of red splotches face. She hastily rubs at it with trembling hands while he stubs out the cigarette.
April opens her mouth to feed him some lies to save her dignity and just run away but instead what comes out of them is the truth. Spilling out of her in chaotic waves.
“Chueam and I broke up. Like a few hours ago. It was something we both decided on. She went to her parents or to Mew. I don't know. And I couldn't stay at the place I built with her when there is so much of her stuff lying around. I mean not forever, just freshly after our parting.” She starts pacing, waving her hands wildly. “I don't really have any super close friends aside from her and the guys. At least not ones that I could really just go to with my personal drama at such an hour. She was my best friend, you know? With Mew I was more like a friend-in-law. Anyways, he isn't very happy with me as of late and as I said she could have gone to him. Whatever, doesn't matter. Not like I am his fan either. Then I thought about you guys. You all are very nice to me. But it’s a stupid idea because Ray is Chueam’s friend… well was. So it’s not like he would like to see me, right? And Boston tries to avoid us, them, as much as he can. So then there is you. You work at night so I was like ‘hey I could check if Sand is at YOLO’s today’. But now it hit me that we just talk occasionally, aren't close either, so what was I thinking! I’m sorry, I should just-” the rest of her rant lodges itself in her throat when she is suddenly being hugged.
Sand’s leather clad arms embrace her gently. She can feel his hand smoothing her hair, his chin on the top of her head.
“Breathe, April. I don't like Chueam but I’m sorry your relationship ended. It must hurt even if it was a mutual decision. And you are your own person, okay? I know we are more like acquaintances than close friends but we can work on changing that. I like you, you’re cool. And the movies you recommended were really good. It would make me sad if I suddenly lost the access to all that knowledge you have in your head just because you feared we wouldn't care about you once she was out of the picture,” he squeezes her. “I’m half-joking. You could really just sit around and say nothing, that would be fine too. If you want to be part of my messy family then you’re more than welcome.”
Overwhelmed, surprised at all this kindness she wouldn't expect even in her wildest fantasies, she bursts into fresh tears at his last sentence.
Sand rubs her back, just letting her cry. When she calms down a little, he steers her towards the bar’s entrance.
“Come on, let’s go inside. P’Yo added a new recipe to the menu and you must try it. I think it's delicious.” He leans his head down and whispers to her conspiratorially: “Phi doesn't like Chueam either. So if you need to get things off your chest and shit-talk her a little, I think she would be game as much as I am. And while my guys wouldn't turn you away either, don't worry about bumping into them. They won't suddenly show up. Nick is with P’Dan, and my other menaces have a bff day or something like that. Should be currently in the cinema on a Ghibli movies’ night marathon. We have all the time in the world to cry, curse or whatever you need.”
“No badmouthing, I think,” she mumbles.
“Alright, food and crying it is.”
☆
Clutching tightly a bag of homemade Kanom Dok Jok in one hand, April knocks on a door to the boys flat. Despite Sand’s words a few days ago, and his and bar Phis’ comforting presence when she poured her aching heart to them, she was still surprised to get an invitation to their gathering.
Even though Ray has been unofficially living here for over a year now, and she caught mentions of their meetings either from the conversations between them at YOLO or from the sporadic IG stories and posts, he never invited them over. From talking to Sand and just observing both groups of Ray’s friends, she understood why. Yet it smarted a little at her heart.
Because it meant he didn't trust them, seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable around them with every passing month. Sand and Boston for sure weren't which hurt, made her feel a tad guilty even though it wasn't because of her. While she was wary of Boston too, really felt it was best for him to distance himself from Mew and Chueam as much for his sake as theirs, Sand’s watchful gaze confused her at first. Made her think more about the dynamics within her old group, pay more attention and stop letting other people's words or just her optimism cloud her judgement. (Everything going to shit and people getting more and more bitter - like Mew and his constant scathing comments - obviously played a big role in cultivating the annoyance that took root in her heart one day.).
With each passing day she grew fond of observing Ray’s ‘new’ friends interactions. They looked like those groups she only ever saw in fiction: tight-knit, affectionate, sweet and accommodating just because you were important to them. She always secretly wished to be part of a group like that (getting into film production gave her an opportunity to sometimes at least make up stories she yearned to be part of but seeing it in real life was really something else. Hard to believe in despite the evidence.).
Also once she started to pay attention it wasn't hard to figure out Ray maneuvered conversations in such a way that Mew or others forgot or dropped the issue of visiting him at the flat. That he did it out of respect towards Sand (and later on for Boston’s peace of mind too, she is sure of that.). Whenever Chueam mentioned meeting the cats or Mew teased Ray about being rarely home, Sand got tense. She thinks he didn't even know Ray caught that (As if he wasn't attuned to the slightest changes in his mood - especially after the pool party when something shifted between the five of those men for good. Followed him with his eyes whenever he was in his line of sight. Kept their bodies connected even by just the tips of his shoes whenever they were near enough each other to touch. He was so gone, so in love. It was really sweet to see.). The flat was their safe zone.
And now she was allowed to step into it. She felt excited, nervous, and quite honoured really. The thought that Sand would shake his head at her for the last two emotions made her relax so that when he opened the door she could just cheerfully smile at him.
“April, you came! Hi hi. Get in before Micro escapes. She disappeared somewhere but the open doors will surely lure her out if we won't hurry.”
She was ushered inside, told to feel at home, thanked for the cookies which Nick took from her. Before she could have a proper look around the flat’s interior, Sand steered her towards a girl that was perusing the photos kept in frames on their bookshelves.
The first thing that April noticed about her was that she was tall and had long, soft looking, chestnut brown hair. And was tall. Much taller than her. And once she turned around to greet her, made April’s brain blank out and take a few seconds (minutes? She hopes it wasn't minutes.) vacation. She was gorgeous. Just her type and if it was Sand’s attempt at matchmaking she was going to kill him. Sure the girl was drop dead beautiful (and have she mentioned that she was tall?) but she wasn't ready, this was too soon and… and Sand was talking so she should actually start paying attention.
“... and this is P’Dokmai. She is working on redesigning the hotel. Well will be. We adopted her.” Sand squeezes her shoulders.
Suddenly Boston’s pained yelp, followed by cursing can be heard from somewhere in the flat. Sand grimaces, looking a little alarmed.
“I better go check what happened. Food today is served by Ray and Ton, it’s their first time and ahh well… They are trying their best. There were no mishaps so far, I swear,” having said that he rushes in the direction of the kitchen.
April stares at his retreating back. “Ray and Boston are cooking. Wow.”
P’Dokmai snorts. “Yeah. I heard they aren't big on that. But I was told they already cooked something here and there, and the others insist it was good, so I guess we won't be poisoned today.”
“Ahh good to know,” she chews on her lip then glances at the girl. “So… they adopted you?”
This time P'Dokmai laughs in earnest. April thinks she looks cute with her eyes all scrunched up. (And then orders her brain to shut up.)
“I just came back from abroad, stayed at the hotel while searching for a place to rent. Overheard Ray talking with P’Kaew about redesigning.” She chuckles then. Looking suddenly sheepish. Scratching at her head, she confesses. “I pretty much inserted myself into their conversation stating I can do it. Then I met Sand. He heard I’ve no close friends in the country due to living so many years in Europe, and invited me to this gathering.”
April hums. “That sounds like Sand. It’s my first time at this place too. Got roped into coming in a similar way but we were sort of friends before that. So you are some kind of property designer or something?”
P’Dokmai smiles cheekily. “Nope. Well, not really. I dabbled into that at the university a little. I actually got a BA at TV and Film Set Design at the uni in Wales. I just like to do all kinds of makeovers and needed a job. Ray still has to talk to his future business partner about this but he assured me it’s just a formality.”
It all sounds nice and cool but April’s brain is stuck on the uni revelation.
She blurts out: “No way! I make my own movies!”
Phis’ eyes widen, a surprised yet pleased smile appears on her face but before she can reply there is a commotion near the entrance and then P’Yo walks in. Some woman and P’Plug trailing behind her.
The bar owner laments into the crowded flat: “Kids! I need help with wedding stuff. IT’S DIRE.”
P’Dan grabs a bag with drinks inside it from her, letting himself be hugged. “Food first, Phi. The guys are too focused on the cooking to think clearly about something else.”
The other woman comes over to them, a sweet smile on her face. “Dokmai honey, you came! I’m so glad.” She embraces the girl.
April shuffles awkwardly next to them but then the woman turns towards her, same pleased expression adorning her face.
“You must be April, right? I heard so much about you. I’m Sand’s Mae. ”
“Och! Yes, I’m April. Hello! I heard about you too. Romance movies’ enthusiast. I hope my recommendations were to your liking, ma’am.”
“They were, they were. Thank you. And call me Mae. Everyone here does. Right, Dokmai?”
The new girl nods in confirmation, amusement shining in her eyes.
“Sorry but how come you two already know each other?”
P’Dokmai brushes her hair over her shoulder. “Mae came over to the hotel. I was around at that time so Sand introduced us. I wouldn't have stepped inside some guys home before meeting one of the women they kept reassuring me would be present so that was a lucky meeting. No matter how sweet some random dudes are, safety first.”
Someone's familiar voice reaches her ears at that moment. It sounds annoyed and slightly bitter.
“At least with this you use your brain.”
P’Dokmai’s eyes widen, mouth drops open. She whirls on her heel.
“P’Lek?!”
Said man is standing near the table. Hands on his hips, eyes narrowed, displeased frown twisting his lips.
“Fancy meeting you here. In Thailand.”
“Ahhh”
“Ahhh,” he mimics her. “That's all you have to say for yourself? How long have you been in the country? Why didn't you call? Does father know and it’s only me being kept in the dark?”
P’Dokmai sighs. “I see you haven't grown out of being a drama queen,” she ignores his offended spluttering. “It hasn't even been a full three weeks. Father doesn't know either. Unless mom told him but I don't think she did. I was going to call once I got myself settled nicely somewhere. Sorry?”
P’Lek huffs then shakes his head, an exasperated smile stretching his lips. “Always so independent. I haven't seen you in ages, you have grown so much!” His gaze turns sheepish. “I think we made enough of a scene… Come give me a hug, you brat.”
They both move towards each other. April blinks confusedly at the scene before her. When she glances at the others in the room, most of them also look dumbfounded so at least she isn't alone with that.
In the new-found silence Sand’s voice sounds particularly loud when he suddenly pops his head from around the corner, exclaiming. “You two know each other?! Also father? You said your parents are in Ireland.”
“They are. It’s just that my dad is not my biological parent. It’s not something I mention to strangers from the get go, sorry. I have the misfortune to share a father with P’Lek.”
“If anyone here is the unfortunate one it’s me.” The man grumbles.
The siblings start bickering. Sand snorts, looking a little bewildered, and disappears back into the kitchen. April grabs an opportunity that everyone is suddenly crowding the pair with their own questions, and follows him.
The words she wanted to grace him with die out in her throat at the sight that greets her in the kitchen. Instead she leans her shoulder on a wall, lifts her eyebrow, and mutters: “I thought Boston and Ray were supposed to be cooking?”
And Ray is doing exactly that. Busy flipping something on the sizzling pan, sparing just a second to look over his shoulder to smile at her in lieu of hello. Whereas Boston pouts at her while clinging to Sand’s back. Who is chopping some vegetables.
“Ton got bested by a cucumber. That yelp we heard? He cut himself.”
“I’m wounded, April. Wounded!” He mock-wails, showing her a bandaged finger.
“Yeah yeah." Sand grumbles. "Switch with Ray so he can help me with this, Mister Wounded.”
To her slight surprise Boston obediently does as he was told. Now Ray is the one playing an octopus all over Sand’s back.
“Ray…”
“Give me a minute.”
Sand gently knocks their heads together, looks towards her as if to say look what I have to deal with. She is not buying his fake exasperation, the happiness lurks way too strongly behind it. But it does remind her why she wanted to talk to him.
“Listen, I don't want to be presumptuous or something but I honestly hope P’Dokmai isn't here because of me.”
All three pairs of eyes blink at her. It’s Ray who finds his voice first.
“What do you mean?”
She flushes, avoiding his gaze. “You all are not trying to get us together, right? Don't get me wrong she is beautiful but this is way too soon and-”
Sand hurriedly interrupts her, sounding a little alarmed. “No, no, no. Sorry, I should have warned you she will be here. No. No matchmaking. I don't think jumping into a new relationship so fast is wise. Especially after such a long one. She just really looked like she needed some friends, honest.”
While she believes Sand, she still glances at the other two.
“Don't look at me. I don't care about that stuff,” Boston scowls. “And I met her today too.”
Ray detaches himself from Sand, nudges him aside to take over the chopping. “Mix the salad dressing that's in the jar over there, please.” He glances at her. “I’m innocent as well. Sorry to hear about your break up.”
April nods, scratches at her neck. Now she feels foolish for jumping to such conclusions. Mumbles some sorry’s to them.
“Nah don't be. I pretty much threw you at her the moment you came. My bad.” Sand waves his hand then opens one of the cupboards above his head, taking out of it ceramic bowls. Each one has a different, rich colour. “Could you help me carry some of them to the table?”
She takes the stack he passes to her. “Och they are so pretty!”
The smile Ray bestows her with is radiant. “Thanks. I made them a few days ago.”
☆
Dinner was loud and interesting. With so many people present they had to squish a little. She found herself in the corner of a couch, nearest the armchair Sand, Ray and Boston were squeezed on.
The three of them were fascinating to observe. She would have thought that Mae as the eldest here would be their main critic, somebody whose opinion about their food was the most important to them but no. It was Sand. (Sand who she is pretty sure would praise them even if the dishes were bad. Thankfully they weren't. Quite delicious actually.) Sand whose bowl was full before he even touched it. And kept being topped with food by both of the guys the moment it was empty. It was a little bewildering to see how they managed to do that since they arranged themselves in the same way they did when YOLO was crowded: Ray and Ton sitting side by side with Sand on his boyfriend's lap, legs thrown over Boston’s thighs which the man used as a makeshift table. Mae didn't even bat an eye at their closeness. (And the secret to their feeding attempts was: Sand going to the bathroom or them asking somebody else - her included - to give them a certain plate.)
Overall she felt her heart warming up at how her two old friends dotted on Sand, how relaxed they looked and eagerly took part in the conversations happening around them. Basking in the praises thrown at their cooking from time to time. She was pleasantly surprised at the changes she saw in them. She had seen them before but here, in the flat, among the people they seemed to be truly comfortable with, it was a whole new experience.
Ray was still his clingy, besotted self but it’s like he could finally be relaxed when Sand wasn't within his line of sight (which comes to think of it, at the bar or the hotel he only was if he knew Sand was with Ton or other’s from this friend group). Secure in the thought that no one would upset him here, that they cared for him just like he did. He talked more, smiled freely, wasn't trying to keep a subtle eye out for changes in his friends mood in order to shield himself or his men (it breaks her heart a little to recall he started to do that the last few weeks, months even, when hanging out with her, Mew and Chueam).
The change in Boston surprised her the most. Gone was the snarky ‘honesty’ he wielded like a shield and a weapon. Even though he was always unapologetically himself, to her something in him always felt guarded. It was in the calculating way he looked at people. Even when he was so cuddly with Nick there was something in his eyes, his body language that promised he would bite if provoked. Here he was really himself. No pretense. No hurtful, scathing words. Sure, he still snarked and poked but it was all in good fun, not meant to wound. He hugged Mae and the Phis. Cuddled up to P’Dan and Nick. Then, as if there was some magnet pulling them together, he circled back to Sand and Ray. They were so clingy with each other she wasn't sure she saw them apart for more than ten minutes (and she felt like that number was already generous of her). She recalls the way he grumbled People in love are disgusting to her and P’Lek when he saw Ray peppering Sand’s cheek with kisses, only to seconds later hurry towards them like an eager puppy the moment they beckoned him to join them on the armchair. She had to bite her lip to stifle her laughter, a little huff escaping her mouth when she met P’Lek’s amused gaze. The man rolled his eyes, muttering something about oblivious fools, and went to pester P’Dokmai about something. It felt good to know she wasn't seeing things that were not there, that somebody else thought that platonic thing they had going on wasn't really as innocent as they seemed to think it was. Then she caught Nick’s stare, saw him subtly shake his head, noticed the warning in P’Dan’s eyes, and thought ahh.
Message received. Don't comment, don't dig into it, let them figure it out at their own pace. Considering the things she knows about these three… yeah no meddling. She nodded at Nick and P’Dan in a silent promise to let them be.
A sudden coldness hitting her legs brings her back to the present. Somebody placed a bowl full of ice cream on her lap. She blinks, looking around. In the time she got lost in her head the empty plates were taken away, replaced by ones full of various desserts.
“Okay everyone,” P’Yo waves her hands to make them look at her. Smiles from her perch on P’Plug’s lap when they do so. “Wedding stuff time. We have close to nothing planned. Besides Ton being our photographer, and the date. Which is: around February. We are trying to cut costs as much as we can because there is no need to throw a large sum of money away just for one day but still I want it to be a little bit special. Any ideas?”
April raises her hand. “I have a friend who owes me a favour. We could film it?”
P’Yo smiles at her. “Excellent. We will talk about money later. Don't frown at me, I have one free labor enjoyer on my list already. He is rich so I can let it slide. You will get paid, and that's final.”
April frowns but doesn't argue. She could use some additional paycheck and the friend she mentioned would have to be compensated anyway.
“What about the clothes? Are you going for traditional or modern?” Mae inquires. She has Camp asleep on her lap, and is petting her from time to time.
“Both if the budget will allow for that. We want to cut costs on the party venue, host it at the bar where we already have the stage and lots of floor space.”
Mae frowns but before she can say something, Ray speaks from behind Sand’s shoulder.
“Wouldn't that just make you feel like you are at work? My father has some buildings he rents for events. I think I recall one that was in a secluded park, really pretty. With a ballroom, large windows, all that glamorous aesthetic I had seen some people go for with their weddings. I could ask him to leave it empty for us for a while.”
“Ray-”
He ignores P’Plug’s overwhelmed tone, seems to get excited over his own idea. “It’s quite close to the hotel. If P’Dokmai is fine with it we could push back the renovations a little, let your guests and even you both stay there as long as it will be needed. I’m pretty sure the building has tables and all that stuff already there so that's also another thing to not affect your budget. We can go check the place as soon as I confirm with Father it’s fine to use it.”
Nick pipes up from the other side of the room. “I can design you the invitations. You should probably send them soon, so we can talk about your general preferences today. Consider it a part of a wedding gift from us.”
The moment he stops speaking P’Dokmai takes over. “I could design the way the tables, walls and everything else would be decorated. No payment either. That's my consolation gift since I heard you want my brother to actually live with you,” she grins and dodges the cushion thrown at her head.
“I can help you out in choosing the flowers and their arrangement. Work out how to keep them fresh as long as we can,” Mae pats her on an arm, and they nod at each other.
P’Yo seems to catch Sand opening his mouth because she points a warning finger at him. “No, Sand. You are not working during our wedding. I am allowing you one song and that's it.” Then she looks at all of them with tears glistening in her eyes. “You are all insane and I love you.”
P’Plug makes an agreeing sound from behind her. He is subtly wiping his eyes, pretending to be just rubbing her shoulder, and avoiding their gazes.
P’Lek stretches his arms, draping one over P’Plug’s neck. “Well, since I’m the best man and you banned me from singing too much as well, I will ask our father for some recommendations of a live band. Part of my present too,” he points with his chin towards P’Dokmai. “You’re going with me. The old man will be happy to see you. Actually, N’Sand you should join us. It slipped my mind but he is a music teacher. He could give you some advice regarding the stuff you’ve been working on lately.”
☆
It’s late in the evening. Warm light and soft music mixed with the chatter of the people inside the room are spilling into the night air through the open balcony doors. April is standing outside, leaning against the railing next to P’Dokmai who has Camp in her arms.
She observes the people gathered inside, thinking that despite her earlier worries she really had a good time here. At her own home she fretted if she wouldn't feel too much like an outsider. An intruder, nevermind the fact that she already was friendly with half of them. Got a little overwhelmed seeing so many people around the table. Now she just feels so warm inside. They just treated her as sweetly as each other. If there was some inside joke thrown or a comment only understandable to them, somebody casually explained it to her and the siblings. These two Phis' presence in the end was a welcome surprise too. Made her feel less awkward, sometimes sharing her confusion over the rest of the group's antics. She was glad she came.
“They look like a family from feel-good movies, don't they?”
April hummed in answer to P’Dokmai’s question. Peers inside to get a better look, smiles at the sight that greeted her eyes.
On the couch Nick is sitting sideways on P’Dan’s lap. Both men are chatting about the wedding invitations with P’Plug who has P’Lek leaning on his arm, asleep. So is Micro, stretched out next to his hip. Nick is absentmindedly carding his fingers through Sand’s hair. The singer is sitting on the floor, his back propped against P’Dan's legs. Ray and Boston are using his thigh as a pillow, having dozed off a while ago. Ray the little spoon to Boston’s bigger one. Surprisingly, P’Yo is looking all comfy on Mae’s lap, and both women are pouring through a wedding dresses catalogue, occasionally showing some pages to Sand.
“They really do.” She comes back to P’Dokmai. Shuffles from foot to foot. “I’ve been thinking… Have you found the place to rent yet?”
“Ahh no. Got into the zone researching the hotel stuff and pushed it for later.”
“My girlfriend and I broke up not so long ago, and I will need a roommate in the near future. If you are interested I could show you the space once she moves out? I would feel better living with somebody I already came to know a little rather than a total stranger.”
“Same! The not-a-stranger part. Sorry about the girlfriend. We can do that. And just in case: don't worry about the time. Ray is letting me live at the hotel for free now.”
April chuckles. “Feel-good movie indeed.”