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1. a kiss goodbye
Jaehyuk scrambles out of the driver’s seat like a calf stumbling into the world for the first time.
He rounds the car in big strides, afraid that Yeon-oh might disappear in those few seconds it takes him to reach his side. But Yeon-oh doesn’t disappear, he stands next to the car, watching him with the same confused and slightly worried expression that he has sported the entire day.
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Does anything hurt?”
Yeon-oh shakes his head. “I’m good, I’ve told you already.”
As if pulled by an invisible magnet, Jaehyuk drifts closer to him. “If you need anything, please call me. Or text me.”
The feeling of his insides twisting with every twitch and sob that came out of Yeon-oh’s body is still fresh to Jaehyuk. Holding him so tightly against his chest, every sound reverberated even more loudly, even more painfully. But Jaehyuk let all of it wash over him like a wave. No, like a tsunami, wrecking everything in its wake. He welcomed it, even, and burned it deep into his memory, to serve as a stark reminder of everything he’d done and everything he hadn’t.
Now, his arms prickle with the need to gather Yeon-oh close to him again. So he opens them slightly, a silent invitation. Hesitating for a brief second, Yeon-oh bridges the gap between them and falls into him, fitting like a puzzle piece. He wraps his arms against Jaehyuk, palms spread across his back, where only a couple of hours before they had been clenched.
A sigh of relief escapes Jaehyuk, and he buries his face into Yeon-oh’s soft hair. It smells like Jaehyuk, but still preserving a hint of Yeon-oh’s own natural scent. It’s perfect.
Knowing that he’ll have to let go soon, Jaehyuk presses his lips against Yeon-oh’s head, where they remain as if glued in a long kiss to pour out everything he’s feeling, to say I want to comfort you and this is the only thing I can do, sorry it’s only this, I missed you so much, I never want to let you go, I like you.
Yeon-oh’s grip tightens for a moment and then he lets go. Jaehyuk, for as much as he wants to, doesn’t oppose it. He fixes Yeon-oh’s hair back in place and clears his throat.
“If there’s anything-”
“Yes, I’ll call,” Yeon-oh interrupts him. “Thank you.”
Jaehyuk watches him go. Then, he stands there on the pavement until he sees the light turn on in Yeon-oh’s apartment.
2. an almost kiss
The familiar knocks on his waiting room door have Yeon-oh out of his make-up chair with a sweet kind of anticipation and slightly flushed cheeks.
“Hi,” Jaehyuk says as Yeon-oh opens the door for him and stands aside to let him pass.
As usual, there is a bag in his hands, most probably containing Yeon-oh’s lunch, which he sets carefully on the table on the right before turning towards Yeon-oh with a rare smile. It’s not a big smile by any means, it might barely count as a smile at all for some people; however, as small as it may be, it exists and it makes the corners of Yeon-oh’s mouth rise on instinct too.
“Is that food?”
“Yes,” Jaehyuk tells him, picking a stray eyelash off one of his cheekbones.
“Thank you. Have you eaten?”
“I have,” Jaehyuk says but the brief pause tips Yeon-oh off. He can’t help the smile on his lips from faltering a little bit.
“You could have a few more bites.”
“I don’t want to impose,” Jaehyuk offers.
For what it’s worth, Yeon-oh at least knows that he means it when he says it. It still upsets him, though, the insecurity and the unnecessary carefulness, so unfitting for the man in front of him, or at the very least still so unfamiliar. There had been times when he would’ve done anything for Kwon Jaehyuk to leave him alone and he had done the opposite, he had come back again and again. While now, when Yeon-oh would like nothing more than to sit and eat together with him, he keeps leaving.
“You wouldn’t.”
Jaehyuk’s eyes map Yeon-oh’s face attentively. “Alright, I’ll stay with you a bit more if you don’t mind.”
And so Yeon-oh nods contently and they both sit down at the small table. It barely fits all the containers when Jaehyuk begins taking them out and placing them side by side. Yeon-oh lets out a tiny laugh at the ridiculousness.
“I’ve told you to get me fewer things, I can’t eat this much and I need to take care of my body during filming.”
“And I’ve told you that you need to eat properly and take care of your health. Here.”
Yeon-oh obeys, naturally, since nowadays he’s hungry more often than he remembers being in the past. And, he has to be honest, the food Jaehyuk brings him is always tasty. He manages to convince Jaehyuk to eat too and together it’s not difficult to make side dish after side dish disappear. He tells Jaehyuk about the scenes he’s filming and Jaehyuk tells him about the new product they’re developing. It’s so cozy that Yeon-oh’s heart pricks with sadness when his manager knocks to remind him that he’ll need to get back on set in ten minutes.
“Good luck,” Jaehyuk says softly before leaving.
He’s so close that Yeon-oh almost hears his heart beating, almost feels the warmth radiating off him. It would be so easy to lean just a little bit forward, lift himself up just a little bit. Jaehyuk’s eyes drop down to his mouth for the briefest second but Yeon-oh catches it anyway. Before Yeon-oh can make up his mind, Jaehyuk speaks and breaks the charged atmosphere.
“I’ll see you soon,” he promises, brushing a thumb lightly over Yeon-oh’s face.
“Okay.”
3. an upside down kiss
Despite the light breeze and the late hour, the night is still warm.
Yeon-oh’s hand in Jaehyuk’s own is even warmer.
The pace they’re walking at is unhurried, their matching steps carrying them slowly through the dimly-lit park. It surprises Jaehyuk how just walking can be so lovely. He’s still learning that anything one gets to do with their beloved person can be so, even the most mundane things. Under one of the lamps, he steals a glance at Yeon-oh, lovelier than anything else.
“What are you looking at?” he asks, noticing Yeon-oh’s line of vision.
“Oh, nothing, just some swings.”
True enough, a few paces away, between landslides and monkey bars, there they are. Jaehyuk stops in place and, still holding onto his hand, Yeon-oh is halted to a stop too. He looks behind at Jaehyuk, confused.
“Do you want to go?”
Predictably, Yeon-oh shakes his head fervently. His face is adorably flushed and he insists, as he always does, that he was just looking. But his eyes and his flustered fidgeting tell quite another story. Jaehyuk huffs out something akin to a laugh, endeared. He tugs Yeon-oh softly towards the playground once, then waits. Yeon-oh bites his lip but can’t hide the grin that spreads across his face.
Yeon-oh gets on the one normal swing, looking pitifully at the bucket swing beside it but Jaehyuk doubts that he would have gotten on it anyway. Even if he would do anything to please Yeon-oh, this thing doesn’t seem to have been made to bear the weight of two solid grown men.
So he helps Yeon-oh get on and settles at his back, hanging onto the chains and gently moving them back and forth.
“This is nice,” Yeon-oh speaks into the quiet night.
Jaehyuk can almost see him smile, his entire face lighting up and his pupils dilating adorably even in half-darkness. He stops rocking the swing, awaiting a reaction. Suspicious, Yeon-oh leans his head backwards, questions dancing on his tongue. Jaehyuk smiles at him and bends down, pressing a short but firm kiss on his forehead.
“What was that for?” Yeon-oh giggles, embarrassed but visibly pleased.
“You were cute.”
Righting himself up, Yeon-oh hides his rose-tinted cheeks into his arm. Jaehyuk sees it, anyway.
4. a kiss on the cheek
It is late afternoon and a few good hours until Yeonjun is supposed to be home.
Yeon-oh squeezes himself between his boyfriend and the kitchen counter to reach the rest of the groceries. And while he’s never cooked here too many times to begin with, the fact that he’s now so much more accustomed to the bigger kitchens in Jaehyuk’s house or at the studio apartment leaves a weird albeit not at all unpleasant feeling in his tummy.
Next to him, Jaehyuk sorts through the items meticulously, leaving aside everything they’ll be needing for dinner. The rest, he passes carefully to Yeon-oh to shelve.
“Are you sure he’ll like this?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Yeon-oh laughs. “It’s so weird seeing you so nervous, stop it, it’s not even the first time you’re meeting him.”
Jaehyuk humms in response, returning his attention to the task at hand. His brow creases slightly, either because he’s focused or because he’s tense. Or both. He managed to hide it well the rest of the day; at least that’s how Yeon-oh remembers it, in the rare moments he let himself relax at the market, despite Jaehyuk’s comforting encouragement that they wouldn’t be disturbed, maybe not even recognized. A shadow of sadness creeps into his heart, that he couldn’t fully enjoy every moment of it but he swats it away quickly. They will have time to go shopping and enjoy it for the rest of their lives, until they grow sick of it.
At this thought, his mouth curves upwards. A few steps carry him right next to Jaehyuk, where he stands crouched over bags of vegetables, so concentrated he barely registers Yeon-oh approaching. Sneakily, Yeon-oh makes an effort to wipe the dopey grin off his face, then leans in and places a sweet kiss to his cheek.
Jaehyuk almost hits his head on the cupboard in surprise.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Yeon-oh giggles.
Flustered, Jaehyuk touches the spot that Yeon-oh has just kissed and his eyes are so fond that Yeon-oh feels like he might just melt under them. He caresses Jaehyuk’s hand where it still remains glued on his face, then passes to the other side of the kitchen to take out the pots.
“Let’s get to work, then.”
5. a hand kiss
Jaehyuk has not glanced at the movie in almost a quarter hour.
Next to him, Yeon-oh sleeps peacefully, his chest rising and falling gently, his lips slightly parted. Curled in on himself on the sofa, he looks smaller than he actually is and something inside Jaehyuk itches terribly.
The TV screen goes almost black as the scene changes, stealing the last remaining silvers of light in the living room. Despite it only lasting for a minute, it still seems too long to Jaehyuk, who wants it to end as soon as it starts. At least, even if he momentarily can’t see Yeon-oh, he can still feel his soft skin where their hands are intertwined between them.
The corner of Yeon-oh’s brow twitches faintly. He stirs.
Jaehyuk brushes his thumb over Yeon-oh’s hand, a comforting touch, gentle enough not to wake him up but Yeon-oh seems to feel it, because he makes a non-committal sound, barely above a whisper. Jaehyuk intertwines their fingers and lifts them to his lips, kissing the back of his boyfriend’s hand reverently.
The younger man smiles then, a shy and beautiful thing, his eyes too heavy with sleep to open properly. He hums something unintelligible and pats around Jaehyuk’s face until his hand cups Jaehyuk’s cheek. Half-asleep, he has no strength to squish it as he sometimes does, so Jaehyuk nuzzles into it.
The smile on Yeon-oh’s face widens.
“Go back to sleep,” Jaehyuk whispers, not before placing another kiss, this time on the palm of his hand.
“It tickles,” Yeon-oh slurs, but he doesn’t take back his hand.
Jaehyuk draws near and scoops him into his arms, letting Yeon-oh drop his head on his shoulder and his arms on Jaehyuk’s chest, nestled warmly between them. Without another word, Yeon-oh drifts back to sleep in a second.
Later on, Jaehyuk will carry him to bed so he can sleep properly. Later on, he’ll tuck him in and whisper good night as he huddles close under the blankets. Later on, so he can hold him like this a little longer.
+1 a kiss hello
Yeon-oh goes from the filming site straight to his boyfriend’s apartment. The sun has set long ago and his eyes are drooping as the lulling rumbling of the engine and the slow pop song on the radio urge him to sleep. He shoots Jaehyuk a short text to let him know he’s on the way and dozes off.
The gust of wind that greets him as he gets out of the car in front of Jaehyuk’s apartment building wakes him up with a shiver.
By the time he reaches the door, the butterflies in his stomach leave almost no room for the tiredness. He rings the doorbell, still too shy to use the key that he was given a while back and too fond of the look on Jaehyuk’s face every time he opens the door. He couldn’t imagine ever being robbed of it.
“Hi,” Jaehyuk greets him, eyes softening as if on cue, along with Yeon-oh’s heart.
As soon as Yeon-oh steps into the apartment, he moves like a moon caught in his orbit. It’s like he has been waiting for weeks and not for mere hours. He hovers close, cornering him against the door, and leans in.
A breath away from his face, he stops abruptly. As quickly as he had come closer, he inches away. “Sorry, I-”
In his confusion, Yeon-oh barely has time to process it all. He remembers, in a daze, that as a rule of thumb a question is supposed to come first before a kiss between them. And also an answer. But what are rules for if not for being broken? Lifting himself up on his tippy toes, he crosses his arms behind Jaehyuk’s neck, hanging on tightly. Covering his lips with his own, he steals the words right out of the other man’s mouth, tasting the apology rather than hearing it. It’s even sweeter because it’s so unneeded.
The warmth that seeps out of Jaehyuk’s hands on his waist spreads over every part of his body, leaving him a little breathless, like the summer heat taking over the morning cool. And just like a summer afternoon, the kiss is unhurried and a little sticky, the kind of kiss you get lost into, feeling time slow down around you. It’s not the kind of passionate kiss you see in movies, frenzied and a tinge desperate. It’s not the kind of kiss because you realize it’s the last chance you will ever get to do it, but because you realize you will have infinite more chances to.
Yeon-oh sighs a little into it and Jaehyuk, not before playfully nipping at his lower lip, takes it as a sign to give him a moment of respite.
“Hi,” Yeon-oh finally says, when they part, his toothy smile radiant.