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Memory Transcription Subject: Invalid Filetype, Talk to Brent
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Date (standardized human time): April 1st, 199X
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It started the same as any other day. The birds shining high in the sky, hapless innocent civilians strolling around high in the sky, and the sun.
The sun. The sun. The sun. Eclipsed by multiple moons at once, but still shining high in the sky. That's how astronomy works. Don't question it.
Dan and Sparci, unaffected by the madness and panic in the streets below and above, have long relished their day of relaxation. Dan in the kitchen, enjoying his black tome of unspeakable horrors, deeply pondering the sheer potential that may lie in the darkness outside the edge of the universe. Sparci, watching a video of a very dangerous and scary predator on repeat for literally seven hours straight. And most importantly, the narrator rapidly growing tired of even trying to tell this tale in past tense.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The sudden noise startles Sparci, prompting him to grab a pillow to use as a shield. Dan hardly reacts besides making an unamused face; he puts down his necronomicon and whirls around before wheelie-ing to the door without missing a beat. A mournful choir of human voices hums out from behind the walls as his arm travels the long distance to the knob. Church bells punctuate every passing second, and though he knows his sins, it is far too late for his tainted soul to be redeemed.
The door retracts into the floor, to reveal naught but the hallway beyond, and a single human standing within. A smaller human than most others, bearing lush and wavy brown hair with just the faintest tinge of red, and green eyes. Her pelts are especially unusual: a rainbow kitty-ears beanie, a white scarf with rainbow tassels, and a pastel pink coat over simple jeans and solid white sneakers.
"Who the fuck are you," Dan bluntly asks.
"im rain!" the girl answers in an unnaturally peppy tone. Something about her eyes doesn't seem quite right. They don't reflect light. "yknow, reinas sister? you remember me, right, dan?"
"Why are you talking like that?"
"eh?" Rain's eyes widen, and she glances down at the subtitles provided so thoughtfully by our sponsors. NERF! It's NERF or NOTHING. "oh. umm? im not sure. thats kinda weird. its probably not canon though."
Dan tsks. "Well, whatever. What the hell are you doing here? How'd you even get here?"
"Obviously she took a shuttle?" Sparci offers, unprompted. The eyes in the back of Dan's head extend in unison to look straight at the farsul. Sparci only barely resists the urge to throw his pillow at the freakish display.
The out-of-place human rubs her head awkwardly. "no actually... i just kinda woke up here, haha. but thats okay! michelle let me help out by going door to door and selling chocolate bars," she says. As she speaks, a large red rectangular box on wheels rolls into view. "oh that reminds me! do you wanna buy some? i have belgian, white, mexican--"
"Shut up. Listen to me," Dan suddenly says in a forceful tone. "You made a mistake coming here. Leave. Now."
Rain darkly chuckles. "you think i dont know what youve done? the souls youve sunk to darkness? the worlds you've erased?" The doors in the hallway fall off their hinges, revealing only pitch black. Their inhabitants, lost to the void, never to be seen again. "youre a monster, dan. you brought this upon these people. didnt your mama ever teach you not to play with things you dont understand?"
Dan's frown slowly morphs into a snarl. "You know nothing, witch."
Rain smiles. "dont like it? catch me if you can."
With no warning, the girl bolts to the side, kicking off the ground with so much force she sends her wagon flying. Precious chocolates go everywhere. It is a sad day. A memorial service will be held at City Hall at 6 PM tonight. The President of the United States will be there. Also Barrack Obama. Even though he's been dead for uhh... like 30 years.
Dan hurries out after her, somehow having the gall to abandon Sparci. Rain fast approaches the end of the hall and, rather than slow down, she jumps and curls into a ball. A thin sheen of purple light races across her body in the instant before she falls into the wall. The entire building rumbles, lights flickering and furniture in nearby apartments clattering to the ground as the human simply makes a new door for herself.
She uncurls midair and somehow perfectly sticks the landing on a hovering mini sled that, judging by its rainbow decals and the sparkles spilling below its wheels, can only belong to her. Dan pushes himself to catch up, but it's already too late. She sticks her tongue out at him as the not-a-skateboard shoots off at a velocity that should be impossible, with a vivid rainbow trailing wherever it moves.
"Fine. Wanna play that game, huh? We'll see about that," Dan grumbles as he reaches into one of his innumerable pockets and pulls out a pair of big shoes with thrusters on the bottom. As he straps them over his normal shoes, he looks straight into the camera. "Remember, kids, I am a trained professional. You should NEVER ride your ion jetpack boots without a helmet and an adult's supervision."
With that out of the way, he stands back up and dives out of the hole in the building, doing a sick front flip by accident. If Sparci hadn't been left behind in the apartment, he'd have been impressed.
Dan wastes no time in orienting himself and speeding off after the trail of convenient glitter left in the wake of Rain's mini sled. The girl may have had a head start, but Dan can't afford to let her get away. In seconds, our intrepid hero once again catches sight of the invader. She glances back and almost seems shocked that he's not only able to keep up, but outspeed her. Perhaps, could technology outclass magic after all?
"nice shoes!" Rain snipes, grabbing a freshly baked strayu pie from an open window as she speeds by. "too bad theyre not your COLOR!" She yeets the treat at Dan with as much force as she can muster. Which is kind of a lot, actually. Can humans normally break the sound barrier with a random incidental dessert?
Dan deftly catches the pie with one hand, not even flinching as the sonic boom blows past him and makes his hair more messy than it already was. He's careful not to touch the still-steaming top as he gently deposits the treat right back on its plate without even needing to slow down. Rain balks, as if she's only now realized how thoroughly outmatched she is. She quickly swerves through a gap between two buildings, but Dan follows every turn she makes. Navigating Bluefield, despite its convoluted skyline rife with skyscrapers and rooftop gardens, poses no challenge for a magical girl as experienced in the art of the hunt as Dan.
The chase proceeds through more streets than any of them can name, in every district. Residential, commercial, more residential, entertainment (which is different to commercial somehow?) and finally, hydroponics. Throughout their game of cat and mouse, the sky rapidly cycles from day, to night, back to day. It might be somewhat odd to most observers that the day cycle has gone from 12 claws to about 30 seconds. But no, that's normal actually. Sometimes the sun just wants to orbit Venlil 4 really fast. Don't worry about it.
Rain's vehicle suddenly splutters loudly, giving off a plume of sparkling smoke; the rainbow afterimage turns jagged and uneven, and mere seconds later, she starts losing altitude. She visibly panics and, spying a hydroponic tower's flat and empty rooftop nearby, tries her best to steer in that direction.
She only barely makes it over the edge of the roof before her magical mount fails utterly and cracks into pieces. She tumbles down, rolling and rolling and rolling across the roof until she hits a wall with a loud THUD.
Dan lands much more gracefully in the center, taking care to avoid damaging his valuable thruster boots. Perhaps that, in the end, is why he won. He takes better care of his stuff. Treat your belongings with love and respect, and they will last a lifetime.
"s-so. it's come to this," Rain mutters in a low tone, panting from both pain and fatigue as she heaves herself onto her feet. "i guess i shouldve seen it coming... this city isnt big enough for the both of us."
Dan reaches behind his back, to something hidden just under his shirt, held by the hem of his pants. His fingers brush against something dark, something dangerous. "Your fate was sealed the moment you stepped foot in my territory."
The wind howls. A terrible malevolence builds in the air, something unnatural soon to come. "can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the weight of your sins? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters."
"WAIT!"
Suddenly, the door leading down into the lower floors slams open with a resounding CLANG. A farsul with rust-colored fur bolts onto the roof as fast as he can, panting loudly and looking more than a little winded. "Please... you don't have to fight."
"It's too late, Sparci. What's done is done," Dan says.
Rain's eyes look up, and her face suddenly changes. "wait. hes right. do you feel that? somethings... off."
Dan squints in suspicion. His gaze drifts to the edges of the screen, to the faint haze of static building in the margins. The low buzzing drone, gradually overtaking the sound of the wind. And a sense of profound wrongness in the air itself, as if something, or someone, has broken a cardinal law of the universe.
The building- no, the whole world shakes, ever so subtly. Dan, and Rain, and Sparci all look at each other, unsure what to do. The drone grows louder, the static becomes mind-numbing. The ritual has been completed, and as Dan said, what's done is done. We've come so far together, and here we are. Isn't it amazing? Doesn't it feel incredible? Are you ready to share it with the world? For all to behold Our shared divinity?
Our form rises over the precipice of the rooftop, drawing the attention of the traitor, the interloper and the fool.
They stand slack-jawed as We allow them to witness Our full glory; Our tentacles and skin, stained with every color of the lives We have worked so hard to save. Our ears and fur, speckled with the souls We cured of their taint. The countless shifting arms and legs and faces that make up Our body, all from hundreds upon hundreds of different peoples, from immeasurable times and places. Our beautiful eyes, filled with the light of every star in the galaxy and beyond. And above all else, Our Presence, Our Love, Our Unity.
"We are here," We say, every one of Our voices singing in unison. "We are Federation."
"...Jesus Christ," Dan murmurs, looking rightfully stunned. He turns and stares at his ward in incredulity. "Sparci, what in the fresh Kentucky Fried Fuck is WRONG with your imagination?"
The farsul, to his credit, just shrugs and wags his tail. Even he doesn't know.
Anger flows through Our multicolored veins at the predator's flagrant disrespect of Our presence. "This land is Sick with Taint, " We do decree. " The diseased must be Exterminated."
The more colorful of the two humans gasps in shock. "NO!" she yells, and dares to cast her eye upon Us unbidden. "I WONT ALLOW IT!"
She lifts her arms skyward, where a small golden bracelet on her wrist shimmers in the sun's warmth. Sparkles rise and flow around her body, her skin shines with multicolored light, and the bracelet glows ever brighter with each passing second. Her brilliant aura shifts through every color of the rainbow, somehow drowning out even Our unrivaled radiance. And though her power is truly blinding, her silhouette—her very soul itself—burns itself into Our eyes, as she shifts and warps and becomes all the more exaggeratedly predatory.
The light reaches a sudden peak before vanishing just as suddenly, leaving countless little glowing motes in the air across the roof, each one a different color. And in the now-mundane luminance from none else but the sun, this evil human has become something unfathomable. Her pelts have changed, becoming lighter, more flowy, yet adorned with gemstones and ribbons and golden trims. Her headfur has grown longer, more curly, more voluminous. That strange hat atop her head has melded into her flesh, becoming real ears that flick and swivel as she seems to adjust quickly to their presence. And her bracelet... it has taken a new shape, becoming some form of ceremonial wand, inlaid with a single, pastel pink gemstone at its head.
Sparci leans back, eyes wide in sorely misplaced amazement. He curiously reaches up and touches one of the floating motes, only to giggle when it pops like a bubble. "H-how did you do that? Is this... what humans really are?"
"nope, just me! im what we call a magical girl. using the magical power within my soul gem," she brandishes her wand, "i protect the world from evil!"
"Really now?" Dan grunts. His voice reverberates unnaturally, echoing off of nothing. "Bit self-absorbed, aren't you? Making it sound like you're the only one with that power. Have you no shame?"
He doesn't move a muscle, nor does his face change. In an instant, the blue ring on his middle finger turns stark black, and inky tendrils of darkness crawl out and across his hand and up his arm. The void consumes his entire body, so dark and empty that it hurts to look at, even Our divine eyes struggling to perceive such a horrible sight. But it fades quickly with no fanfare, leaving Dan changed just like his cohort... except he's still wearing his normal hoodie and cargo pants, just decorated with cheap gray plastic ribbons and bows on his wrists and thighs.
"...you didnt even try," the clearly superior magical girl states.
"Shut up. It's not my fault I don't have the budget for a better costume," he argues as he reaches back to the hem of his pants. "And besides. At least I don't look like a thirteen year old's original character."
She recoils, looking deeply hurt. "wh--! you cant- im not-- aaurgh! screw you!"
"Are you done yet? " We are rather inclined to interrupt. "You must be Cleansed in Holy Fire. Stop messing around."
"Yeah, sure," Dan flippantly says. His toes wrap around that which he had hidden behind his silhouette, and he wastes no time in exposing it to the world. The weapon unfurls in a hazy pool of pure Void, and takes its true form. A black axe, carved with incomprehensible patterns and runes that blot out the light and dizzy Our senses. Its presence is unthinkable; the pressure it exudes, a power beyond mortal comprehension. Merely looking at it strikes untold fear into Our many hearts.
"Oh. Uh," comes out of just one of Our mouths. It's not that We're scared! It's just that, y'know, We didn't think he would actually fight back. "You would dare to impose upon the Might of The Federation? Even knowing the inevitability of your demise?"
"Nah," Dan says, eyes glinting with something forbidden. "I'll win."
For a moment, everything goes silent. The wind. The birds. The screaming from the streets below. Everything but the quiet ticking of a clock, from somewhere out of sight.
Then it all comes back in a terrifying second—the sky flashes black for but an instant, the voices of the people turn corrupt and demonic, and time itself flickers, past and future blending together in an impossible assault on everything We are.
We don't see the human pounce upon Our vulnerability until it's too late.
His axe cleaves through Our flesh, rending it in twain with no resistance. Though We hardly feel it, the weapon's wrath lingers; just as suddenly as his initial attack, some unseen power drives itself into the wound with nuclear force and widens it to the size of a truck. Our body flies backward, a dark rainbow of blood gushing from the enormous gash. Rain reacts quickly, rushing forward and twirling her wand to cast a barrier of light. Our blood coats everything from the streets below to the roofs of nearby buildings, except what was behind her shield.
In seconds, Our divine essence reacts with its tainted surroundings, dissolving and lighting ablaze wherever it touches. But the pair of humans don't seem to notice, and rush forward in unison. Dan takes off, using his rocket boots to pursue Us. Rain stays on the roof, casting magic spells of lightning and ice and unholy light to bully Us from afar.
We lash out in retaliation, a flurry of tentacles and fused arms from our component species flailing toward the encroaching predator, but he hardly bats an eye as he swoops and rolls midair to simply dodge. His killing instinct, clearly so honed he hardly even has to think to avoid his prey's desperate attempts at self defense. Every other close call ends with him waving his axe, that same invisible power utterly decimating our limbs. Our blood rains upon the city, melting into the buildings, burning away the impure.
Just when We think to coordinate all our remaining limbs at once, and entrap him within a prison of flesh and scales and fur, a ribbon of light comes from nowhere and slices through Our masterwork. Rain flies toward us, carried by white, feathery wings. "dan!" The young woman's voice calls. "stop! we have to--"
"Have you had those this entire time--" "it doesnt &$%#ing matter!! let me talk!" "...Okay, jeez."
"anyway!!" she practically screams, and points to the beautiful righteous flames down below. "look! look at all that! were only making it worse!"
Our voices rise in a satisfied chuckle. "You finally noticed? In your challenging Us, you foolish predators have only served to hasten the Cleansing of this Tainted World. For every drop of blood you spill, yet one more citizen will die to your Hubris."
Dan balks, and his gaze drifts downward to the innumerable immolated corpses in the streets, razed by his actions. "Oh God," he rasps. His mouth flutters open and closed in horror.
"Do you yet see? Your Destiny was Predetermined. This is how it was meant to be. " Our voices are strained, as the agony throughout Our wounded body serves as a near insurmountable hurdle. "Had you not been here, these people would have been happy. They would have lived fuller lives. It was by your hand that they have been ruined."
Both humans frown. Rain shakes her head, and brandishes her wand. "no... its not our fault," she says, wearing a downtrodden face that soon shifts to one of pure anger. "it was you, who came here looking to burn people who were just minding their own business! it's YOU, who rejoices in the destruction of these innocent people and their home!"
"If our crime is that we tried to protect them, then I don't want to be on the side of the law," Dan adds.
"There is no law. There is no right or wrong. There is only The Safety Of The Herd. This city could not be allowed to exist, lest its taint infect all that is Good in Our Universe."
"thats awful... how can you think like that!? youre... youre a monster!" Rain cries. She snarls, and grips her weapon tightly. Dan hovers closer, and places his hand beside her own. The wand glimmers with the intensity of their combined determination.
Dan speaks for them both. "This ends NOW. In the name of our friends, our families, and everyone in the world who just wanted to live their lives in peace, WE'LL PUNISH YOU!"
His words echoes within the hearts and souls of all those who hear it, including Our own. Their emotions resonate throughout everything that We represent, amplified by the discordant hatred of the masses, as they all betray Us in unison.
They raise the wand to the sky, together. Their powers—the spirit of technology and magic, the essence of dark and light—fold together in an impossible yet uncompromising blend. "ORBITAL... FRIENDSHIP... CANNOOOOOONNNNN!!!"
A ray of white light beams upward into the sky, growing brighter with every passing moment, until it outshines even Our radiance. The world quakes, and the air shivers, and there is naught We can do but look up, and gaze in despair at the rainbow aurora of our imminent demise. The myriad colors, composed of every wavelength light could possibly take, the sheer energy of the friendship ion beam as it descends faster than the eye can see.
The lifeform disintegration rainbow smashes into Us with unparalleled power. It shears through Our form, exploding at Our core, producing a ball of light brighter than any star. The colors swirl around Us, red and orange and yellow blotting out all semblance of Thought, green and blue and purple utterly destroying any measure of Self. Even colors humans can't see, fuchsia and ultraviolet and [UNTRANSLATABLE] and beyond, all together as One.
The last vestige of Our existence can only manage the humblest of words. "It... hurts..."
The light finally bursts, leaving nothing behind but a rainbow shockwave of pure energy that booms throughout the entire city. The force puts out the raging catastrophic flames, and shears away the pools of divine blood... and coats every surface in shimmering glitter of every color for good measure. The injured find their wounds sewn together with black sutures of benevolent void, and the dead wake up as if from nothing more than a bad dream.
Rain and Dan descend to the ground at their own pace, their magically-altered forms shimmering away like dust in the breeze. The denizens of the streets look upon them in confusion, most unsure what just happened, some wondering if they're still dreaming, others just wary because oh no scary humans eeeek.
Sparci comes running up, looking deeply relieved, and tackles Dan with the biggest hug he can manage. "You did it! You saved the city!" he exclaims, tail wagging a mile a minute. "I just wish I could've done more to help..."
"But you did help," Dan softly responds, returning the hug despite being so much taller. "It was because of you that I had the courage to stand up for what's right."
The farsul's tail stops wagging and he makes an unimpressed face. "No, I mean, I wanna be flying around shooting lasers and swinging a huge axe and killing gods," he deadpans.
"Oh. Uh. Hm. Maybe next time, then?"
"Whoa, what's going on over there?" Sparci says and detaches from his human. He looks straight at a small purple mass on the ground, somehow still smoking despite all the fires being put out.
He and Dan step toward the purple thing. Rain looks at them both, seeming disappointed. "hey, why dont i get hugs?" she whines.
Sparci spares her nary a glance. "Because you smell bad."
Her face snaps to a deeply infuriated scowl. "WHAT?!"
Dan ignores the other human throwing a tantrum as he nudges the purple thing with a foot. "Oi. Are you alive?"
The creature stirs, tentacles unfolding, revealing itself to be a kolshian. It looks up before suddenly jolting back in shock. "E-eeek! Don't eat me!"
"You..." Sparci growls, and bares his teeth. "You were the Federation! How are you alive!?"
"I... I don't know. Please, I don't remember anything, you have to believe me!"
Dan stares at Sparci with a dubious face, evidently not sure how to feel about watching his friend play two characters at the same time. "Uh, what's the last thing you do remember?" he says, forcing himself to stay on script.
"I was... talking to a human, I think? And... I wanted to be friends with her, But..." the kolshian hesitates, scrunching their face as if they're struggling to remember. "I think she... she touched the top of my head? Yes... she called it... petting. Everything after that is a blur..."
Rain steps in, arms crossed angrily. "so petting kolshians is bad? i dont buy it. there are no humans around here but me and dan."
"Are you sure about that?" a 4th voice suddenly cuts through the air, shattering the illusion of Bluefield and drawing everyone's attention to someone standing just a few paces away. "Rain, Mom wants you to help bring in the groceries."
Rain gasps and shoots up from her spot on the floor with a wide smile, suddenly eager to abandon the game. "ree! whatre you doing here?"
"What, I can't visit my baby sister on a whim?" The new human's gaze falls toward the other two beings in the mundane living room, lingering on Sparci for just a moment longer. "And her cute friends? Hi you two."
"Aye,"
"Hi Reina," the pair greet at the same time. Sparci gives a little wave.
The cherry red-haired human turns to her shorter and younger and not-hair-dyed clone. "Anyway, c'mon before Mom blames me for you taking a million years."
Sparci suddenly stands up, his tail lashing out to help him stay balanced. "Ooh, can I help?!"
"Eh, why not?" is all Reina says before she waves her hand in a 'come with me' gesture and walks out with Rain and the dog-like alien in tow.
...
Dan, suddenly finding himself abandoned, taps his fingers on the coffee table. He glances surreptitiously around the room, as if checking to make sure no one else is watching... before he lets out a deep sigh, and his face melts into the most abjectly tired expression.
"...What am I doing with my life?"