Chapter Text
Sunny came home covered in blood.
Thankfully, it was not his blood; it was nontrivial to get Sunny to bleed. A Category 2 Gate had just opened near where he lived, and he had decided to assist the local Awakened. Since it was only Category 2, Sunny had barely any trouble clearing it.
He didn't dare get cocky, though; he knew that a single mistake would be enough to finish him off for good. Nevertheless, he was splattered with the blood of hundreds of snake-like monsters. He really needed a shower.
Leaving a suspicious trail of dark red blood on his way, Sunny pushed the door of his house open. He welcomed the familiar sight as he beelined to the bathroom, wasting no time getting to the water of his showerhead.
Feeling the grime, grease, and blood he accumulated in battle disperse from his skin made him shudder in bliss. Sunny cleaned himself up before putting on some comfortable clothes.
As he exited his spacious bathroom, Sunny noticed the vibration of his communicator, which he had placed on a small table nearby. Wrapping the towel around his neck, he grabbed the phone, checking its contents.
Cohort Gang
5:51 pm
NightingaleKai created a group chat.
NightingaleKai added Sunny12345
NightingaleKai added CassiaFallen
NightingaleKai added FOODFEEDME
NightingaleKai: Hey everyone!
FOODFEEDME: how have you just had the idea to make a gc
NightingaleKai: It just slipped my mind…
CassiaFallen: hello everyone.
FOODFEEDME: cassie how are you even talking right now
CassiaFallen: i can divine what i need to press to post messages.
CassiaFallen: just kidding im looking from someone else's eyes.
NightingaleKai: My jaw almost dropped hahaha.
Sunny12345: What is this
FOODFEEDME: have you seriously never heard of the group chat function before
Sunny12345: Im sorry FOODFEEDME I have had more important things to do like not starve to death on the streets
FOODFEEDME: oh yeah that reminds me i can do this here
FOODFEEDME has changed their name to Effie.
Effie: much more convenient
NightingaleKai: I thought your username was charming, though…
Effie: i would definitely keep it but knowing princess she wouldnt understand who i am even after we tell her lmao
CassiaFallen: kai, could you have picked a better name than cohort gang?
CassiaFallen: no offense but it sounds like a group chat's name from the early 2000s.
CassiaFallen has changed their name to Cassie.
Sunny12345: I think it sounds fine
Sunny12345: Can I lie on this thing
Effie: what if he cant and then the pain in his little head stops him from being able to type out the truth and he dies
Cassie: sunny don't die.
Sunny12345: I am 5'6
Sunny12345: Note to self you cant
Sunny12345: How do you change your name
NightingaleKai: Press the three little dots in the top right, then press "Edit Local Username".
Sunny12345 changed their name to Sunny.
Sunny: Thank you kai
NightingaleKai changed their name to Kai.
Kai: Might as well!
Cassie: where's neph btw?
Effie: knowing her she's probably either killing corrupted creatures
Kai: …Or?
Effie: or killing more corrupted creatures idk
Effie: does she have any hobbies
Kai: That's mean, Effie.
Kai: I'm sure she has side hobbies.
Kai: Speaking of Nephis, I don't think she even owns a communicator.
Effie: in this day and age???
Effie: im pretty sure some people are even getting it implanted into their brain
Effie: imagine youre in a ptv accident then someone sends you a funny meme and you laugh right before dying
Kai: Effie, that's horrible!
Cassie: lol.
Sunny: Their fault for getting into the ptv accident
Sunny: Just get better at driving
Kai: The theoretical person might find it hard to improve at driving if they're dead, Sunny.
Sunny: Skill issue
Effie: gotta agree with doofus on this one ngl
Cassie: i think one of my firekeepers knows where neph is at right now, actually.
Cassie: if you give me a bit i can go ask her.
Kai: I would appreciate it!
Sunny: Why am I here again
Kai: Why not?
Kai: I think we're tight enough as friends to have a group chat.
Effie: me personally i think one more channel for my memes and food pics wouldnt hurt
Effie: image.png
Sunny spat out a cup of water he was drinking. He began cackling uncontrollably at the image Effie had just posted in the group chat. It was simply a photo of a man leaning in as if he was explaning something with a caption of "One does not simply kill an Unholy Titan".
Sunny had no idea what made it so funny, but, nevertheless, it left him breathless for a minute. Anyone looking from outside would think him insane.
Sunny: Haha
Effie: 'haha' ?????? react harder bro
Effie: he says he laughs really hard but his texts are so bland
Kai: Effie… what is that outdated meme? I'm pretty sure my grandfather's grandfather would have laughed at that.
Effie: the recent trends never get sunny
Effie: but for some reason these old memes make him flip
Cassie: i have located neph.
Cassie: she doesn't have a comm, yeah.
Cassie: we are going to buy one right now.
Kai: Great! DM me her number once you get one and I'll add her pronto.
Cohort Gang
8:07 pm
NightingaleKai added ChangingStar8877
Effie: there she is
Kai: Welcome!
Cohort Gang
8:21 pm
ChangingStar8877: Hello Everyone
Effie: 14 minutes
Effie: cassie what are you doing????
Cassie: it's fun to watch.
ChangingStar8877: Typing Is Hard
Kai: She already cut down the time by 90%!
Sunny: Hi neph
ChangingStar8877: Hello Sunny
ChangingStar8877: How do I find punctuation
Cassie: i'm right next to you…
Effie: the button on the lower left
ChangingStar8877: Ah, I understand now.
ChangingStar8877: I believe I have grasped the essence of the communicator.
ChangingStar8877: My usage of it will be much more efficient from now on.
ChangingStar8877 changed their name to Nephis.
Cassie: i have been noticed.
Nephis: There seems to be another button in the opposite corner.
Nephis: 😀
Sunny: Oh that thing
Effie: its like watching two geezers stumble their way through a communicator
Kai: Shush, Efffie. Let them discover it slowly.
Nephis: This little menu is very neat. I think it is very useful
Nephis: I can use it to articulate meanings without many words.
Cassie: i mean, yeah i guess you can use it like that.
Nephis: Let me try.
Nephis: My temporary cohort got brutally wiped out in a Death Zone earlier this week 💀.
Effie: WHAT
Kai: HUH?!?!
Sunny: Nephis I dont think thats how you use that emoji
Nephis: Whatever do you mean, Sunny?
Sunny: Effie uses it in funny situations
Nephis: Ah. I suppose that isn't quite funny.
Effie: you dont say????
Cassie: she was fine btw, her cohort was just famously terrible.
Cassie: something something valor clan test.
Sunny: Valor clan test?
Nephis: I will tell you about this next we meet in real life, Sunny.
Sunny: Ok
Kai: So… aside from Nephis, what have you all been doing the past week?
Effie: eating
Effie: and i guess some fighting in the dream realm but mostly eating
Cassie: the firekeepers can't run themselves, after all.
Sunny: Nightmare Gate
Sunny: Other than that nothing
Kai: Oh, I heard about a Category 2 Gate opening in your district, Sunny.
Kai: I didn't know you were there to close it, though.
Sunny: Left before I got recognized
Sunny: Would ruin my public image
Cassie: sunny truly is the only person who loses from being recognized as competent.
Nephis: I believe there are more people than Sunny who downplay their strength to make people underestimate them.
Cassie: …we're gonna have to work on picking up on jokes.
Nephis: That has always been an issue of mine.
Nephis: 🤪
Nephis: This face is funny.