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Koba liked being in Caesar's presence. He liked feeling Caesar's presence especially. So when the chimpanzee offered to clean his fur, Koba couldn't refuse.
It was the night of a successful hunt. Or, rather, a successful scavenging, as most of what Caesar's troupe had gathered were things that didn't need to be hunted; bark, leaves, insects, and such. The only thing that put up a fight was a small group of rabbits, but even they were easy to retrieve.
None of them had run into the humans, who were in turn hunting them. It seemed like Caesar's misdirection had worked. At least for now.
As the sun fell and the moon steadily rose to take its place, Koba watched the rest of the colony from the high branch of a tree. They seemed farther than they actually were, partly because Koba's left eye barely had any sight, but also because of the sheer distance he had to climb to reach where he was now.
Below, there were many apes. Some chimps, some orangutans, and all of the gorillas gathered to rest, tend to the wounded, and eat their share of the hunt. Koba's gaze searched for Caesar, but found him missing from the pack.
That didn't worry him. Caesar usually kept to the trees, and other apes were harder to spot among the branches. He would see Caesar when Caesar wished to be seen, and he was content with that.
Instead, he shifted his gaze back down, and watched the rest of the apes. He could tell which ones had smelled the mist, and which ones hadn't. The ones who did walked with purpose in their gait. The ones who didn't crawled for survival.
Koba had thought them to be nothing but big caterpillars, but Maurice had taught him better than that. They were apes, like him. Only different. Dumber, he was inclined to say, but he knew that was untrue. Just different, he decided.
But despite being different, they were still all too similar to the apes that had breathed the mist, apes like him. He watched as groups of these apes formed, both with those blessed with the mist and those without, and how they all almost immediately bonded.
There was no use for sign, not even for the ones who knew how to use it, as they simply used their hands and dug gently into each others' fur. Koba watched idly, almost without interest, until he began to feel something inside at the continued sight of these apes grooming each other.
That feeling grew from his chest to his head, and he knew he was about to remember. Bracing himself, he closed his eyes and held the branch he was on tighter for safety. And then, it began. Or so, he thought.
At first he was confused. Whenever he remembered, he would see things, hear things, and live through things. But now, all he saw was the back of his eyelids. But then he did begin to remember, just not in visions.
The sensations started in his back, warm and gentle, a comfort he had once known. Then, it moved to his waist, then his chest, and finally his face. The feeling caressed him, tenderly, and made him feel things he was sure he had forgotten.
The feeling reminded him of the sight of his mother, of how she used to be. It also reminded him in a way of Milo, before his mouth stopped working. They had made him feel this sensation, this emotion, but he was having a hard time remembering what it was.
Opening his eyes, the sensations stopped, leaving only an echo in its trace. Koba lifted one of his hands and reached for his back, almost in an effort to recreate that warm, gentle caress. It wasn't the same, of course, and he quickly stopped.
The apes below him continued to groom each other, to bond without speaking, but now Koba turned to look away. As much as the sight had made him remember those warm, most likely good feelings, the more he looked, the more those feelings turned hot and not so good. It made him want to jump down and stop them, yet join them too, all at once.
He looked up to the sky, where the stars shone in half-blurred brightness in his eyes. The moon was especially bright, but he could never make out the details of its beauty.
That's when he heard the rustling of branches just behind him, and the swaying of leaves. He turned to find Caesar, and immediately, he grew excitedly warm at the sight of him.
Caesar, Koba signed, bowing down and raising a hand in supplication.
The chimp quickly showed his approval, sliding his fingers down the bonobo's rough palm. Koba was pleased.
Koba, Caesar signed back. Hunt well today.
Thank you, Koba pant-hooted quietly in appreciation.
Koba will hunt tomorrow? Caesar asked, which almost made Koba want to laugh.
Koba hunt always, the bonobo said with pride. Stay by you side.
Caesar regarded the comment with pleasure, and chittered. He patted Koba on the shoulder, and that made Koba swell even more with pride, warm and nice. He always liked it when Caesar touched him.
Koba look thoughtful, Caesar said suddenly, looking a little thoughtful himself. What thinking?
Koba paused for a moment before signing.
Remembering, he said simply. Again.
Good memories?
Koba paused again, and glanced down at the small groups of grooming apes.
Yes, he said. I think.
Caesar had followed Koba's gaze, and seemed to have caught what he had seen. He said nothing of it though, and instead signed.
Good, the chimp said. Remembering always good.
Koba nodded in agreement, but not as much as he probably should have. He recalled the other memories that had come to light recently, and how they had made him feel. Some weren't always good. Actually, a lot weren't. They were bad.
The two apes sat on that branch for a few, long, and quiet moments. The only sounds were the leaves in the wind, the insects on the trees, and the quiet chatter of apes on the ground. Usually, they would have to be quiet, but sometimes Caesar allowed them to make noise on safe nights. Tonight felt particularly safe.
Koba turned to look at Caesar, who was already looking at him, and meant to sign something when the chimp already went first.
Fur look messy, he signed. Then, he said, "I clean?"
Koba blinked. It took him a moment to consider Caesar's words, and when he realized what he meant, he glanced downwards once more.
Clean? Koba asked. You?
Yes, Caesar nodded. May I?
He was suddenly reminded of the memories he had shortly before Caesar arrived, of the sensations. He thought of how good it had made him feel, and that made him excited. He grew warm at the idea, and before he knew it, he had already nodded his consent to the ape leader.
Caesar grunted in acknowledgment, and motioned for Koba to turn his back to him. The bonobo obliged, and waited patiently. Though he didn't have to wait long, as only after a moment, he could feel Caesar's fingers begin to dig through the fur on his back, gently.
There was an immediate reaction from Koba, both internally and externally. On the outside, he simply stiffened, and raised his hackles in a show of surprise. But internally, a lot more had occurred.
The feeling of Caesar's hands combing through his fur sent excited sparks throughout him, but also trembles of uncertainty. Caesar's touch was warm and gentle, like mother and Milo's, but for some reason, a part of Koba could not trust it. He was ashamed of this part, as he knew he trusted Caesar completely. Or at least, he should.
"Koba." Caesar turned the bonobo's shoulder slightly to look at him. You shaking, I stop?
No! Koba shook his head. I fine, just...
Koba couldn't explain how he felt, only that he wanted to explore the feeling more. So to reassure his leader, he simply hoot-panted quietly, and lightly pat Caesar's hand. This seemed to convince the chimp, as he only nodded, and continued.
After a while, Koba stopped trembling, and both his hackles and body relaxed. He let himself bask in the feeling Caesar was giving him, and at times closed his eyes to let the sensation wash over him completely.
He was warm again, pleasantly so. He always felt this way around Caesar, but this time was different. This time, it was stronger. And this time, he knew what "it" was. It was the same as the feelings his mother and Milo gave him, and it was the same now.
Koba felt safe.
Under Caesar's gaze, and with his touch, Koba found comfort in the safety of his leader's warm and gentle hands, the same hands that caressed his back in a show of respect, a show of trust. It was a gesture he had only felt a few times before in his life, and he knew that now, especially if it was coming from Caesar, it was something he hoped he would feel a lot more.
Once Caesar was done and had picked Koba's back fur clean, the bonobo turned around and supplicated to show his thanks. Caesar readily touched Koba's hand, and the bonobo was satisfied.
Thank you, Koba said, then paused as he realized something. I clean now?
Caesar looked surprised at first at the offer, but soon looked like he recalled something, and instead nodded politely.
Yes, he said. If want.
I want, Koba said while nodding. I want.
Caesar nodded, and offered his arm. Koba only stared at it at first, but quickly got to work, picking at the chimp's fur and combing through it with as much attention as he would give to a hunt.
Koba's turn lasted much longer than Caesar's, but he was still afraid of falling short in the end. He only wished to make Caesar feel as good and safe as Caesar had made him feel. But he had rarely ever groomed other apes, and felt like it showed.
By the end of it, Koba was about to lower himself in supplication almost as compensation, but Caesar had already touched his hand before he even had the chance to turn his head down.
"Thank you Koba," he said, then signed afterwards. Very good.
Koba was warm again, even warmer, and he hoot-panted.
Caesar better, Koba said, and Caesar chittered a laugh.
Both good, he said. Do again sometime.
Koba liked the idea of doing it again sometime, he liked it very much. He nodded in agreement, eager for the next time they did this. Eager for the next time he could finally, fully, feel safe.