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Jihoon almost can’t think straight. Keyword: almost. He knows that they’re filming content for Youtube, he knows that he’s had a few beers and soju shots in him, and he knows that currently, Circles is playing and Seokmin is holding on so dearly to him because tears are starting to fall from his eyes. His younger member is cooing at him and babying him as his lip wobbles and the other members fuss over him loudly as a distraction.
Someone watches him with a quiet intent. Sighing and rubbing his eyes, Jihoon’s gaze then lands on Soonyoung, who’s opposite him. He looks transfixed on him and it makes Jihoon a little worried.
Of course, he hasn’t drank as much as the other members (he’s still building up his tolerance) but he’s still buzzed enough to just feel pleasant in the atmosphere the team has created. But he doesn’t forget Soonyoung’s look. While a game is being set up, Jihoon makes his way to be next to Soonyoung, for no reason that he can give at the moment. Something just pulled him there. And Soonyoung accepts his presence with a dopey smile, as if he wanted Jihoon to come over. “Hello,” the older says. Jihoon laughs because it’s so absurd. They’ve never really said proper hello’s to each other in a very long time. Nonetheless, he smiles and pinches Soonyoung’s cheek out of affection, “Hello to you too.”
Soonyoung is definitely drunker than him. The more games they played, the more Soonyoung lost and the more drunk he became, repeating this cycle until Jihoon himself determined that it’s enough. Of course, there’s no convincing Soonyoung to do anything without a lot of whining but Jihoon only laughs in the drunken and red face of his best friend as he restrains him in a tight hug. Soonyoung seems to slowly calm down in his hold, mellowing out back to slow movements.
Honestly, Jihoon doesn’t feel like letting go. Soonyoung is nice and warm, and he can still identify the cologne he sprayed that’s probably settled in their bathroom by now. Speaking of their dorm…
Somehow, Soonyoung has always managed to make every space he co-occupies with Jihoon feel homey. It always feels cozy, and Jihoon feels all his negative energy fly out his body when he sees Soonyoung’s little decorative items sit in his peripherals. Not only their dorm but his studio too, where some little animation figurines dot his desk, all gifted by Soonyoung at some point of their lives together.
Jihoon hums, mind running around itself. He doesn’t notice the way he still clings on to Soonyoung, or the way his cheek has been lovingly pressed into Soonyoung’s shoulder, or the way he slightly nuzzles into him every now and then. Soonyoung also doesn’t notice it- Well, no one really does, save for the cameras that are hopefully more focused on the actual active members rather than the two quieter ones in the corner.
So Jihoon hums, thinking about all the years he’s known Soonyoung. How they’ve grown with each other, how they’ve gone through so much together. Jihoon thinks about how it’s always been Soonyoung. For everything.
And his lip wobbles again, turning into a soft pout as his vision blurs but he doesn’t notice; and his blinking speeds up in response to the tears clouding his vision, then he sniffles a bit loudly and Soonyoung suddenly goes into high alert.
“Jihoon!…” He pulls away to assess the other, eyes wide with shock. His head snaps to the cameras and decides they need to go somewhere else now. Clumsily, he takes an arm around Jihoon and weaves past cameras and confused staff, to whom he tells them that “We’ll be back!” without much more explanation. He only brings Jihoon outside of the room, looking over him before his brain decides the best course of action is to hug him. So he does, tightly and full of love and adoration. It’s his best friend, after all; his Jihoonie, and no one else’s. “Are you okay?” Even with his slurring, Jihoon can still read his heart.
The younger nods in Soonyoung’s hold. This is the most comforting position to ever be in, he thinks. Soonyoung has always been his comfort, his security, his safety. Another wave hits Jihoon, body now shaking with more intense sobs. “I have you, Ji.” By God, does he!
Soonyoung feels Jihoon murmur something into his chest, in-between his sobbing. He tilts his head to try and see Jihoon’s face to ask what’s happening, but the younger only buries his face into the fabric of his sweater more to escape it. Soonyoung finds this funny, so his giggles ring out through the quiet space. He forgets for a moment as their members behind the door start playing and singing along to a new song, Soonyoung swaying them to the beat and humming so lovely just above Jihoon’s red-tipped ear. He sighs, the lack of focus on him giving him a boost of bravery.
He lifts his head up and Soonyoung is met with the most beautiful, glassy, brown eyes that twinkle under the fluorescent lights. Jihoon’s soft voice, still shaky from his crying, confesses, “I said ‘I love you’, Soonyoung.”
Somehow Jihoon still feels like the luckiest guy in the world, even when Kwon Soonyoung’s response to his confession is an off-guard “Eh?” The directness of his confusion with his face makes Jihoon almost tumble over in laughter, Soonyoung trying not to let him fall. Tears return to Jihoon’s eyes again, but they’re much happier this time. Because of Jihoon’s radiant laughter, Soonyoung also smiles amidst his confusion, just happy to see his Jihoonie laugh so brightly that it rivals the droning white lights above them.
“I’m glad you’re not crying anymore but I’m still confused,” Soonyoung says with a dumb smile. Jihoon wipes the tears away (with help from Soonyoung) and gives him a hug back, settling into the warmth once again. He speaks directly near his ears, “I love you, Soonyoung. I really love you.”
“Really?!-“ Jihoon stops the other from pulling them apart, wanting them to stay close and pressed together. Maybe it’s better for his confidence. “I already said it twice, I’m not repeating myself.” Soonyoung sheepishly laughs, then giggles in delight as he squeezes Jihoon tight.
The funny thing is, Jihoon isn’t even worried about what Soonyoung’s response is. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t care, or maybe because he already knows; He’s known for what might be six years. Nonetheless, he’s still glad that Soonyoung confirms his feelings, “I love you, too, Jihoon-ah.” And Jihoon lets them move apart for one moment, just so he can look Soonyoung in the eyes before they charge into the other’s hearts and indulge in the sweetest kiss of a lifetime.