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He scratched out the top two questions on the crumpled paper and shouldered his way into the men’s bathrooms. “I have re-thought the questions. Just stick to the second page. Although....The last question might need a bit more-“
“Shut up!”
Freddie blinked feeling a smirk raise on his lips. The cold wet drip of the tap was the only sound for a moment. The smirk slipped when he took in Hectors slumped shoulder, the tired bags under his eyes, the shaving foam forgotten behind his ear. Freddie blinked. Hector looked away and down at his hands. He was gripping the porcelain so tight his knuckles rose white out of his skin. “Just....leave me alone for a moment okay?”
Freddie sniffed clutching his questions to his chest. “You are on air in five minutes. Sort yourself out and look at the bloody questions would you.”
Hector snarled at his reflection n and his eyes flashed. “Fuck off Freddie, just fuck of would you.”
“I will not. This interview-“
“I am barely holding on okay!?”
His voice filled the room with the heat of the anger held there. “Marnie...Marnie left me, she took the house she took the car. I have nothing left....so shut up and screw the interview. You do it.”
Hector glanced sideways embarrassed at his outburst and Freddie tapped his pen against his teeth. His gaze fell on the shaving foam and without thinking he reached out to wipe it away. Hector grabbed his wrist and turned to face him.
Each shuddering breath was obvious through the thin white cotton of his undershirt.
They stood in silence for a moment and Freddie slicked his thumb behind Hectors ear slowly; his fingers shaking. The tension broke and Hector yanked him inwards so they were chest to chest. A firm hand on his hip and suddenly there were lips on the corner of his mouth, hesitant and hard. Freddie turned his face and kissed him back without a thought. Every bone in his body was screaming for more, every moment felt like his was wrenching the pain from Hectors heart and filling his own with it.
The door banged behind them and Freddie turned away putting his hands on his hips. He looked through the mirror at Isaac who was still staring down at the papers in his hands talking a mile a minute. He hadn’t noticed. Freddie tried to even his breathing and stood up a little straighter.
“Isa.”
Isaac blinked furiously as though only just adjusting to the light. “Um...two minutes until we go live.”
“Right.”
Isaac nodded absentmindedly and turned away. Freddie looked at Hector whose eyes were glazed, he was still staring at the spot where Freddie had been. His skin was pale. Freddie’s heart was in his throat; he reached out and put a hand on the man’s shoulder. Hector looked at him. “Read the questions.” He pushed the paper into Hectors hand and watched him walk out.
After checking his reflection in the mirror Freddie followed.
Two nights later he stood on the step outside. The rain poured around him and he pulled his trench coat in tighter. The air was cold and emanated from a puddle forming at his feet. The hole in his shoe heel leaked and Freddie took a step back in an effort to save his sock. He bumped softly into a warm solid body and hunched his shoulders forward as heated breath ghosted across his bare neck.
“Got a light?”
Words around a cigarette.
Freddie lifted his lighter and didn’t look as Hectors cheek brushed against his hand. He had spent two days engrossed in the story, pushing himself harder than ever before so he didn’t have to think about the pain in his chest. Hectors pain...and his own. It was an unspoken wound that ran between them both.
He tapped his own cigarette against the back of his hand and put it to his lips. He lit it. Hector leant into him a little. “I put a deposit on a flat.”
Freddie’s eyebrow twitched. “Congratulations.”
Hector licked his lips and Freddie finally looked at him. He looked tired almost disappointed. “And what does Bel think of it?”
Hector frowned his voice lowering. “She broke it off months ago.”
Freddie scoffed. “Did you ever love her?”
“I thought I did. I thought she did.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Hectors breath clouded Freddie’s vision, the cold air whipped around his ankles and he took a drag. He was tired, he hadn’t slept. “Can I give you a lift?” His voice was quiet, almost pleading. Freddie sighed and glanced out as lightening struck out across the sky.
“I won’t be one of them.” He looked into Hectors eyes and saw confusion. Freddie smiled and took another drag. For a smart man he was pretty dim. “One of your affairs.”
The realisation dawned and Hector threw his cigarette into the puddle stamping out into the rain.
Freddie threw his half smoked cigarette into the rain and pulled his coat around himself. He had struck a nerve. He fingered the notebook in his pocket, questions folded neatly between the pages. He had added one more that night after the show. Just two words. What if?
Steeling himself against the cold Freddie followed.
The car ride was silent, the news murmured on the radio and Freddie wrote in his notebook. Hector didn’t look at him once only glancing sideways as they drove past Freddie’s house. He was waiting for a demand to stop, to turn around and let him go. Freddie simply turned a new page and scribbled onwards. Hector smiled.
They parked outside his building. The rain was only getting worse and it roared against the windscreen glass. “I can’t promise that I can change.”
“I am not an idiot Hector; I am not expecting you too.”
There was a beat and Freddie lit another cigarette rolling down the window a sliver. Hector smiled and lent towards him a slight flush rising on his cheeks. “So...have you ever actually been with another man before?”
Freddie’s eyebrows shot upwards and he stared at Hector. His heart was racing already. He swallowed. “Yes.”
“Oh... who-“
“I’m not going to tell you about it so don’t ask.”
Hector lifted his palms up in a display of defeat. “Okay. Well just so you know I have.”
“Adam?”
Hector laughed and his cheeks flushed a little darker. “A kiss maybe, once or twice whilst he was too drunk to remember.”
“How do you know he doesn’t?”
“Oh I am sure that even if he did he wouldn’t mention it. After all he would have had to admit to the secret we share...shared.”
A woman’s heels on the wet concrete outside and Hector straightened his pose, taking his hand from where it had rested on Freddie’s wrist. “You know I always thought you were in love with Bel.”
Freddie took the last drag of his cigarette and threw the stub out of the window rolling it up with a snap. “I suppose I am.” Hector looked sad but tried to hide it, turning his face away. “But nothing will ever come of it. She is my best friend Hector. She always will be, just that and nothing more.”
“So you would use me?”
“Don’t judge, you a man who has cheated countless times on a wife who loved you enough to take you back each and every time.”
“Not every time.”
“No.”
“Come on I think the rain is stopping.”
Freddie glanced out and saw no change in the downpour. He smirked. “It is not.”
“No it isn’t but I am tired of sitting here discussing things when we could be in there screwing like our lives depend on it. Or at least our future happiness.”
Hector grinned rakishly and swept out of the car running full pelt across the road and to his front door. He didn’t look back. He didn’t have to.
Freddie followed.