Work Text:
The podficcers nestle close to their blankets,
The writers have put away their keyboards.
My dear, you are cozy and warm in your bed
Please go the fuck to sleep.
The audacity has been turned off, babe.
The robots cuddle with their mics.
I'm reading you this one last podfic
If you swear you'll go the fuck to sleep.
The Discord doesn't care about time zones,
You can backread in the morning
I know you're not really going to record. That's silly. Stop searching.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.
The declicker will be done by the time you wake,
You can fix your fumbles tomorrow
It's been too many minutes already.
Please friend, what the fuck? Go to sleep.
All the events have shared their challenges,
All the players will let you rest,
No, you can't mark up another script
You know what you can do? Fucking sleep.
The cover artists are trying to catch up
Through the channels you see them creep
My sincere concern fills your ears
For real: shut the fuck up and sleep.
The memes can wait for you to read
And if they change while you slumber,
I promise to send you all the old ones you need
But you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
The fanfic writers might give permission overnight
There might be a new plug-in
But turn off the permission higglighter and close out the forums
I really need you to go the fuck to sleep
No more words, this podfic is over.
I've got two words for you, bud: fucking sleep.
Fuck audacity, fuck reaper, fuck Adobe audition
Fuck the spreadsheet, fuck the formulas
Fuck the rec list, fuck the bookmarks, fuck the marked for later too
Fuck the script, fuck pronunciation guide, fuck all the extensions
Turn off your screens, close your eyes: Go the fuck to sleep!
