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Yanqing was on duty. He made his rounds in Cloudford — why was he in Cloudford? Moreover, why was he alone? Cargo crates formed a long pathway in front of him, stretching on and on for several meters. Yanqing pressed on. He walked briskly, moving down the rows of crates, desperate to reach the end.
And from around a corner came the General, Jing Yuan. Finally, a familiar face.
But before relief could sink in, Jing Yuan's imposing figure began to twist. His arms cracked and bent. Branches sprouted from his temples and wrapped around his head. Petrified wood snaked around his limbs, digging through muscle and sinew. Yellow leaves sprang forth from the snapping mass of flesh and wood. Yanqing could only watch in horror as Jing Yuan transformed, overtaken by mara, right there in front of him.
What remained of the General locked eyes with Yanqing. It shambled closer, like a zombie, slow and hungry. Yanqing couldn't move. His breath quickened.
The mara-struck stopped abruptly. Silence.
Then, faster than a blink, its arm flashed out to grab Yanqing by the neck. He gasped. He dropped his weapon, unable to raise it against the image of Jing Yuan.
Yanqing gasped again, this time shooting upright in bed. His chest heaved.
He felt around his neck. Nothing. He was no longer in Cloudford, but in bed, sweating on his sheets. There were no petrified branches in sight. Only his collection of swords and scabbards surrounding his bed. He was safe. Still, just because he was alright didn't mean...
He had to check on the General.
Throwing the covers off, Yanqing scrambled out of bed. He didn't bother with his slippers. He stumbled out of his bedroom, down the hall to Jing Yuan's. The sounds of panting and thumping footsteps echoed off of the tall empty walls. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. But he had to make sure.
"General!" he cried out, throwing open the door with a slam.
The General in question rose groggily. He squinted against the night darkness. "Yanqing? What's the matter? What happened?"
Yanqing, panting in the doorway, melted with relief when he saw the General safe in bed. He had never been so grateful to see Jing Yuan with sleepy eyes and bed hair.
But now he owed him an explanation.
"S... Sorry, General, I..." Yanqing inhaled deeply to steady himself. "I thought there might have been an emergency. I'm relieved to see I was mistaken."
Jing Yuan was silent. Yanqing watched the General's face carefully. He balled his hands into fists, just to keep them from trembling. Jing Yuan was fine. There was no need to behave so childishly. Yanqing followed Jing Yuan's eyes down to his own clothes, to his hands.
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Jing Yuan spoke. "And... What exactly led you to that conclusion?"
Yanqing floundered for a reasonable answer. The truth was so silly-sounding that even considering admission filled him with dread. He was an adult, damn it! Adults don't go crying to their parents after a bad dream! But Aeons, when he thought of how Jing Yuan looked when the mara took him — of how his hand felt on his throat — Yanqing couldn't stop the tears from stinging the corners of his eyes.
He hung his head in resignation. "I had a nightmare," he murmured. His cheeks burned with fear and humiliation. "I'm sorry for waking you."
Neither of them said anything for a while. Not until Yanqing heard Jing Yuan rising from his bed and crossing the room to meet him. Silently, with large, warm arms, Jing Yuan enveloped Yanqing in a tight embrace.
"Thank you for coming to check on me," he said softly. "You do not need to hide your face from me, A-Qing, nor do you need to apologize for waking me up."
Pressure built in Yanqing's throat. He wouldn't cry. He hugged Jing Yuan tightly, as if he would disappear at any moment.
Jing Yuan brought a hand up to stroke the back of Yanqing's head, soft and gentle. "I'm safe. We are safe. I promise you that."
Yanqing's resolve broke. A sob seized his chest. He hiccuped and clung tighter to Jing Yuan's robes. "Baba..." he croaked. Tears spilled down his cheeks. "Baba, I was scared..."
"Shhh, shhh..." Jing Yuan squeezed Yanqing gently. "I know." He rubbed his other hand up and down Yanqing's back in slow, soothing motions. "I know, A-Qing... I know."
Nothing scared Yanqing more than the inevitability of facing Jing Yuan like that. He knew beyond a doubt that the day would come, and still he liked to pretend that it wouldn't. Everyone on the Xianzhou succumbed to mara eventually. One day, Jing Yuan would be the same as every other mara-struck, and it would be up to Yanqing to kill him.
Just thinking about it made him sick.
But it felt like Jing Yuan understood. Maybe he had been preparing for that future from the very start. He didn't need to tell Yanqing for him to figure it out. Still, perhaps he still had time to avoid the subject. He still had time to cling to Jing Yuan like a baby and cry into his chest like he had as a child.
Jing Yuan held Yanqing as he cried. He rocked the boy slowly, back and forth, and soothed his cries with quiet hushing and gentle touch. They spent a while like that.
"Would it help you fall asleep again to spend the night with me?" asked Jing Yuan.
Unable to shake his terror, Yanqing nodded. The feeling of the gnarled wooden hand around his neck remained fresh in his mind. It would be impossible for him to fall asleep alone.
With a kiss to the top of his head, Jing Yuan bent down to scoop Yanqing into his arms. Though he was bigger than he used to be, Jing Yuan could carry him with little difficulty. Yanqing clutched the front of Jing Yuan's robes and pressed himself tightly to his chest. Unlike usual, Yanqing had no energy or gusto left to put on mature airs. He had been reduced to a child cradled in his father's arms.
The General settled Yanqing onto the bed. Yanqing had no time to reach out for his father again before he, too, settled into bed. He curled up against Jing Yuan's chest, where it was warm and safe, and where he could hear his heartbeat. It was all the proof he needed.
Comfortable, Yanqing let his heavy eyelids fall closed. He felt a soft kiss press against his forehead. Big fingers combed through his hair, slow and soft and gentle.
Yes, the mara would come and take them both someday. But for now, they are safe. They are alive, together.