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Chapter Text

The kingdom of the Menagerie Coast was small, sandwiched between the ocean and a long stretch of forest that blocked them from the Empire. The war between the Empire and the Dynasty had been waging for as long as Jester could remember, but thankfully it had yet to reach Nicodranas despite numerous attempts from the Bright Queen and the Assembly to pull them into the fray.

Princess Jester Lavorre had a bad habit of doodling dicks on nearly every single letter sent to her mother about the war. Most of them she stole from the queen’s office, a few Marion gave her with a smile, telling her to do whatever she wanted with them. There were perks to being the daughter of a queen if the box of missives with crude drawings all over them was anything to go by. 

But there were also…well lots of drawbacks. It was those Jester pondered as she woke up just as the sunlight was creeping over the horizon. Far too early for anyone to be awake, in her opinion. 

She groaned loudly and buried her face into her pillow as hard as she could. The sunlight splashed her bedroom with pinks and blues which she would usually love to admire if it didn’t mean she was waking up at an ungodly hour of the morning. Usually she wouldn’t be up this early, no matter how many times her mother’s advisors berated her. 

But today was a special day; she and her mother were welcoming a delegation from the Empire, the first in many years. Jester knew that her mother had high hopes that this meeting would keep the tensions at bay for a little while longer, at least until a treaty could be reached that would keep Nicodranas a neutral party in the conflict. Which meant that Jester had to get up ridiculously early in order to get breakfast and get dressed before they arrived. 

She allowed herself just a few minutes to try to wake up in the comfort of her warm bed. Unfortunately, before long there came a gentle knock on her door and it swung in, revealing her mother. 

Queen Marion was already done up and ready for the day. She was wearing a deep purple dress with gold embellishments and her circlet was fastened around her head, makeup perfectly done. 

Marion chuckled, “It’s time to get up, my sapphire. We need to get you ready.” Jester groaned and burrowed down under her blankets, curling up into a ball. Marion laughed again, a bright and musical sound. Jester felt the bed dip as her mother sat down, a hand touched her side gently, “Come on, my love, I have doughnuts waiting for you and I’ll do your hair for you.” 

Jester was used to her mother’s bribery at this point, but the offer still made her smile and sit up out of her blanket cocoon. Marion smiled warmly at the sight of her daughter, her face fresh from sleep, but her hair all tangled and knotted around her horns. 

Marion took Jester’s face in her hands with a playful gasp, “There’s my daughter! I had almost forgotten what you looked like.” 

Jester rolled her eyes, but laughed as she hugged her mother tightly, letting Marion stroke her hair for a long moment. There was a tension in her mother that she wasn't used to feeling, making her pull back and look at her. “Are you nervous, mama?”

Marion sighed, starting to untangle the knots around Jester’s horns, “Don’t tell anyone, but I am. Mostly about having you there with me.” 

For the entirety of her childhood, Jester was the kingdom’s best kept secret. Fearing an attack or kidnapping, Marion made sure that Jester’s existence was kept secret within the castle walls. When she became a teenager, her existence was announced and shewa finally allowed to venture beyond the castle walls and to accompany her mother to events and appearances. And due to her rank and status, Jester was required to be at the meeting today.

“Bluud is gonna be there,” Jester assured her. “And Yasha and Beau. I’ll be fine.”

Marion sighed and pushed Jester’s hair out of her face, “I know, I just worry about you. It’s what mothers do.” Marion kissed her forehead. “Now come on, you’ve distracted me quite enough and it’s time to get ready.”

Jester groaned, flopping back onto her bed as her mother laughed.

The throne room was an imposing sight. Three stone steps lead to the massive limestone throne with seashells and rubies inlaid. Marion sat on the throne, her ankles elegantly crossed and her hands folded in her lap. Half a dozen Zhelezo line each wall with Bluud, Beau, and Yasha behind the throne. 

While they waited for their party to arrive, Jester talked quietly with Beau and Yasha, trying to pry gossip out of them. Beau was a hard nut to crack, but it only took a few prying questions before Yasha whispered something that made all three girls laugh. Bluud sighed and nudged Jester away from the knights, back towards her mother. With a dramatic pout, Jester followed the instruction and went to stand beside her mother’s throne.

A footman entered the room but a moment later, giving Marion a bow, “Your majesty, they’re here.”

Marion took a deep breath, reaching up to squeeze Jester’s hand where it rested on her shoulder. “Bring them in.”

The footman bowed again, disappearing back into the hall. Anxiety started to press against Jester’s lungs, her heart fluttering and her hand growing sweaty. Jester had never met anyone from the Empire, except for Beau. She had no idea what to expect from the convoy. As the doors opened again, she felt Bluud move slightly closer to her and her mom.

The first man to enter was tall, clearly human and far older than Jester had ever seen. He had long hair and wrinkles on his face, but none around his eyes. He looked terrifying in his red robe with gold embellishments with the symbol of the Cerberus Assembly on his collar. He radiated an aura of malice, even from the distance he was at. Jester inched a bit closer to her mother. 

Entering behind him was a younger man. Jester could immediately tell he was a soldier by the way he carried himself. His hair was a deep red, pulled away from his face in a low ponytail. His face was even, almost looking like he was made of stone. He kept his eyes respectfully down as he took his place beside the mage. Both of the men knelt respectfully before Marion and Jester. 

“Archmage Ikithon,” Marion acknowledged with a slight dip of her head. “I’ve heard much about you.” 

“And I you, your majesty,” Ikithon said as he rose, the soldier following after him. “As you know, I come as a delegation from the Empire. For months now we have sought to improve our relationship with the Menagerie Coast to no avail.”

“I am aware. I have gotten your colleagues’...many letters. As I’m sure you have gotten mine. As I’ve told both the Assembly, the king, and the Bright Queen, the Menagerie Coast will remain impartial in your conflict. We are an isolated nation and we wish to stay that way.”

Ikithon put a hand to his chest and bowed, “Forgive me if I have implied otherwise, your majesty. It is because of those exchanges that my king sent me here. We wish to repair the relationship between our countries. Seeing as you are so isolated, it would be easy for someone to intercept the trade of goods between the Dynasty, the Empire, and you. We don’t want that to happen, now do we?”

A threat if Jester had ever heard one. Agree or we’ll cut off your resources. But Marion didn't seem phased. “I am well aware of the…delicate nature of our treaty. Which is why I have been striving to get a new one passed to make sure that that can’t happen, archmage .”

“And my colleagues and I are more than receptive to such a treaty. We all know those things take time, your majesty. But in the meantime, it was my hope that a gift would do wonders to soften any tensions and it would show good faith for the upcoming negotiations.”

Marion inclined her head ever so slightly, “A gift?”

Archmage Ikithon stepped aside and raised a hand towards the man behind him who stepped forward obediently, still keeping his head down. “Allow me to introduce one of the best Volstruckers in the Empire. I offer him as a gift to you and your nation, perhaps a dutiful guard for your daughter.” 

Jester felt as though she couldn't breathe and a glance down at her mother showed her the same surprise. How could this man be a gift? And why did he look so accepting of it? Jester expected her mother to say no, to make the man and his soldier leave, but instead she schooled her face into a perfect smile. 

“What a thoughtful gift, my daughter is well known for evading her guards, I’m sure one as well trained as your Volstruckers will prove quite the challenge for her.” 

Ikithon chuckled, smiling just a bit too much, “I’m sure he would. I will leave you, I’m sure we’ll see each other very soon at dinner, your majesty.” 

“Of course,” Marion bowed her head respectfully. “Thank you for such a kind gift, archmage.” 

Ikithon gave her a bow and turned heel, leaving as quickly as he arrived, the Volstrucker remaining behind. As soon as the doors were shut behind him, Marion stood from her throne and in Infernal said to the guards, “Watch him. Jester, come with me.” 

Marion put a hand on Jester’s back and steered her through the back door of the room, the mother and daughter entering the small hallway. As the door shut behind them, Jester turned around and looked at her mom accusingly.

“Mama,” Jester hissed, “why did you take him? He’s a person!” 

“I know, my love,” Marion soothed Jester quickly. “I know. Archmage Ikithon is a despicable man, he trains these volstruckers through torture, ingrains his programming in them so deep that they don’t remember a life where they weren’t obedient to their masters. They’re known to be ruthless in every sense of the word. By letting him here, we’re inviting an Empire spy into our home.” 

“Then why-”

“Because,” Marion touched Jester’s cheek gently, “he’s someone’s son. He’s a boy who has been indoctrinated to hurt others. And because the archmage has unknowingly handed us the perfect opportunity to try to figure out how to break Volstrucker programming.” 

“So you’re going to keep him in a cell?”

Marion shook her head with a slight laugh, “I’m going to do as the archmage suggested. He is to be your guard, you don’t know much of anything about the policies of our government but it would still give him something to report to his master about.” As she said it, Jester knew her mother was filled with fear. Marion had tried so hard to protect Jester her whole life, to put her in danger like this must be incredibly hard for her.

“But is it safe? He’s like a serial killer or something, right?” Jester asked.

“You won’t ever be alone with him,” Marion assured her. “He’ll be your guard during the day, not the night. What I want you to do, my sapphire, is to be yourself. Be silly and kind and annoying. But if you ever suspect that he intends to harm you, you find a guard, you find me, and he’ll be killed where he stands.”

The dark protectiveness in her mother’s eyes comforted Jester an enormous amount as she ducked into her mother’s arms and hugged her. Marion sighed softly and returned the embrace, one hand on the back of her head. They stood like that in the dark hallway for a long moment before Marion kissed Jester’s forehead. 

“Shall we go meet your new guard?”

Jester nodded, taking a deep breath as she steels herself. She wanted more than anything to hold her mama’s hand as they returned into the throne room, but she knew she needed to keep up her appearance as a princess.

As they passed Yasha and Beau, both of them shot the princess a questioning look. Jester just swallowed thickly and gave them a shaky smile, letting her know that for right now everything was okay. 

Marion and Jester approached the soldier, still standing at attention in the middle of the room, eyed on the floor. Jester fell slightly behind her mother as they stood before him.

Marion smiled kindly at him, “What is your name, child?”

“It can be whatever you wish it to be, your majesty.” His voice was accented, the same one as the archmage, but softer and gentle.

“Mama…” Jester breathed, her stomach growing sick at that answer. As a tiefling, they knew better than anyone the power that names have. For someone to just give up their identity like that…it made Jester feel queasy.

Marion reached back and squeezed her hand comfortingly, “I want your name to be whatever you feel the most comfortable being called.” The man looked surprised at the response, lifting his eyes to meet Marion’s for the first time. 

He took a second to think before saying, “Caleb.”

Marion smiled, “It is very nice to meet you, Caleb. My name is Marion and this is my daughter, Jester.” 

Jester stepped forwards and smiled, sticking her hand out towards him, “Hi!” 

Once again, Caleb looked surprised, but he shook her hand, “It’s a pleasure, your highness.”

Marion brought her hand to Jester’s shoulder, “Caleb, while you are here, you are my Jester’s guard. I expect you to be her dutiful protector while you are by her side.” 

Caleb bowed deeply, “Of course, your majesty, it would be a great honor.”

Marion smiled, “I’ll have someone show you to your quarters and go through our protocols. With your training, I’m sure picking everything up would be no problem. Do you think you’ll be able to start tomorrow?”

“Certainly, your majesty.” Caleb bowed to her and Jester again. “I will do my very best.”

“I’m sure you will,” Marion smiled kindly. She looked at Jester and squeezed her shoulder. With that, the two women left, quickly followed by their three guards. The volstrucker remained behind, his hands shaking ever so slightly. 

The guard barracks were much different than Bren…Caleb had been expecting. The hallways were tiled blue and green, the walls decorated with art. Each door had a plaque with the names of the guards who reside there. Some had children’s drawings stuck to them, others had scratched out notes or reminders.

Caleb was taken to a room near the end of a long hallway. He could see the tactics, in order to leave, he would have to pass the rooms of every other guard. When he opened the door, he found a single bed. Unlike the other rooms, he was the only one sleeping here. 

He would not be surprised to find a lock on the other side of the door, possibly arcane wards too. Unlike his mentor, Caleb knew better than to underestimate the Menagerie Coast. As peaceful a nation as they appeared, Caleb was taught that there were always thorns on roses. 

Caleb’s quarters were small, but far bigger than they were in Rexxentrum. The floor was stone, the walls plaster and boards. Caleb set his small bag on the dresser. He had very few belongings, just his uniform, spellbook, socks, underwear, extra parchment and ink, and a sending stone. 

Straightening his posture without thinking about it, Caleb squeezed the stone and slowly said, “Volstrucker Ermundrud reporting. I have been assigned as the princess’s guard. I have been briefed on the safety protocols, they are as follows…”

As Caleb flawlessly repeated all of the protocols he was told earlier, he reminded his master that he might have been given false information as a precaution.  

When he was finished, all that came back was his master’s voice, “Good work, Bren.” 

The stone fell silent. Caleb tucked it inside one of his socks and put it back in the drawer. He changed out of his uniform before tucking himself into his bed, hands folded neatly on his chest.

But sleep didn't find him. His mind spun itself in circles, remembering in vivid details the instructions he was given, repeating them in a comforting pattern.

Get close to the royal family. Find information. Report back. Wait for instructions. Kill the queen and princess.

Get close. Find. Report. Wait. Kill.

The instructions that gave him comfort and finally allowed him to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Caleb didn’t know what to expect from the princess. 

In the Empire, royalty were aloof. They were seen as stiff and cold. His first impression of the princess and queen could not be more different. It was clear just from the few minutes of interaction that the queen cared for her daughter deeply, something that Caleb pretended didn’t affect him. In a few months, they would be dead.

Princess Jester was perhaps the oddest person he had ever met. It was his first day as her guard and she was just so different than he was expecting. She came out of her chambers in a bright yellow dress that fell just above her knee, her clavicle exposed. Caleb quickly averted his eyes, it was strange for royalty to show so much skin.

Her hair was frizzy and loose around her shoulders. Her feet were bare except for a thick pair of socks with bees embroidered on them. There was ink and chalk on her hands and arms. If Caleb had seen her elsewhere, he would never guess she was the princess of the Menagerie Coast. 

She greeted him with a toothy smile, “Good morning, Caleb!” 

He bowed, “To you as well, your highness. I must thank you and your mother again for your hospitality and your gracious welcome to this country.”

Jester wrinkled her nose at his words, something Caleb made note of immediately. She didn’t like formality. He would need to do better to get her guard down. He continued, “I have been informed of my duties and I will be nothing but your shadow. Please continue your routine as usual.” He bowed again.

He could tell that he made another error. Jester’s frown only grew as he stood to the side to allow her to pass. When she frowned, her whole face drew together and her eyes seemed even bigger. Caleb did not want to see that look ever again. 

But she shook her shoulders and the smile returned to her face, “Come on, Caleb, we’re going to have so much fun today!” She let out a giggle that made him more afraid than excited before skipping off down the hall.

He hurried to catch up.

 The day was a near constant flurry of activity. It seemed as though Jester was rushing from one thing to another. She went to the gardens and picked a bouquet of flowers, then delivered them to the barracks, replacing a wilted bouquet. In the barracks, she talked to nearly every guard and squire. To Caleb’s surprise, none of them seemed afraid of her. They almost seemed to enjoy her company. 

Caleb stood against one of the walls, still as a statue. Jester was in the stables, humming and talking to herself as she braided the mane of a pure white horse.

“Caleb?” She crooned. He stepped to attention. From where she was standing on a step stool, she smiled at him, “Do you know how to braid? Do you want to help me?” The two questions ran together into one long one and Caleb was so surprised at the request that he found himself nodding.

He was rewarded by a blinding grin. He stood beside her and reached up to the horse’s coarse mane.

“This is Sprinkle,” Jester explained as she kept braiding. “He’s my horse, I’m not very good at riding, but I like just spending time with him. Fjord, he takes care of the horses, he says that Sprinkle only likes me and he gets agitated around him.” She glanced over at Caleb. On the stool, she was a bit taller than him. “I guess he likes you too.”

He met her eyes and then looked down. He likes you too . Her guard was down. He was alone with her. He could-

The hay shifted ever so slightly behind him. There was someone invisible with him and Jester. They had probably been with him and the princess since this morning, protecting her from him. Caleb had to hand it to the queen, she may seem passive, but she must have seen through the ruse. She was smarter than Trent thought, which meant that this would not be as simple a mission as expected.

While he was thinking and trying to work out what to do, Jester asked, “Have you ever seen the ocean before?”

Caleb shook his head, “No, your highness. I spent most of my life in Rexxentrum.”

She tipped her head to the side, “Why?” Sprinkle huffed softly and Jester soothed him with a kiss to his head.

“It is where my training took place.” He didn’t like her questions, they had an edge to them that he didn’t know how to interpret. He could tell she was digging for information. But how would this information help her in the slightest?

Her brow pinched together. “You’ve been training your whole life?” 

He nodded, “Since I was a boy. My father served in the army and I followed in his footsteps to become a Volstrucker.” He could almost hear Ikithon’s voice in his head, “ Tell her something personal about yourself. It will lower her guard and get her to trust you.”

“I don’t know my dad,” Jester told him with a slightly sad note to her voice. “My mama says that he was the greatest and coolest. I make up stories about him sometimes, trying to imagine who he might be and why he never came back.” She looked at him conspiratorially, “I think he was kidnapped by pirates and then killed them all to become the pirate king.

He had to press his lips together to hide a smile. “I’m sure he is, your highness.”

She looked at him with her nose scrunched, “Why are you calling me that?”

He blinked, “It is your proper form of address, is it not, your highness?” For a moment panic struck him, he had researched this place extensively. He was certain that the forms of address were the same as the Empire.

The disgusted look didn’t leave her face. “I mean, yeah. But no one calls me that unless it’s like a formal occasion or some shit.” His eyes widened in surprise at her curse. “Just call me Jester.”

“I couldn’t possibly-”

Jester cut him off with a smug look, “Well you’re my guard and you have to listen to me and I command you to call me Jester.”

She certainly was something and gods, he didn’t understand her. He bowed to her, “As you wish, Jester.”

She grinned, tail flicking behind her. 

After Caleb departed for the night, Jester popped into the hallway. Bluud looked down at her with a fond smile, “Jester.” He held out his arm and she darted in to give him a quick squeeze.

“Hi, Bluud! I’m going to go see mama.” Bluud gave her a nod and fell in step beside her as they walked down the hallway. He asked questions about her day, all of which she answered extremely thoroughly. Before too long, they came to her mother’s bedroom. Four guards stood outside, two of them being Beau and Yasha. 

Though they were working, they both returned Jester’s greeting as she knocked enthusiastically at the door. In an instant it was opened by Marion in her red dressing gown. “Sapphire,” she cooed warmly as she welcomed her daughter in. 

Jester stepped into her mother’s arms, inhaling her rose water perfume. Marion pressed a kiss to her head as she wrapped her into a hug. “How was your day with Caleb?” Marion asked, gently guiding Jester over to the settee. While her mother sat down delicately, Jester plopped down heavily with the air that she had much to tell her mother.

“He’s so weird,” Jester told her, leaning into Marion’s side. “But I got him to tell me some stuff about himself.” She buzzed her lips, “But he’s so formal about everything.”

Marion laughed, running her fingers across Jester’s hair, “Most people are, dear, especially around royalty. Do you think you got through to him at all?”

Jester sighed, “I don’t think so. He’s like a robot, mama. He told me stuff but it was like…he calculated the perfect thing to say.”

“That’s how they train them,” Marion explained. She ran her fingers along Jester’s arm in a soothing motion. “The Volstruckers are stripped of their identities. That’s why you need to remind him of who he is, find what he likes.” Marion kissed her temple, “If anyone can do that, it’s you.”

Jester hummed and leaned deeper into her mother’s side, “I know.” 

“Did he try to get any information out of you? Did he do anything odd?”

Jester just shrugged, “I don’t think so. He didn’t really ask me about anything.”

“Well, I’m having Veth keep an eye on him for now and make sure that he doesn’t try to sneak around tonight.” 

The pair stayed like that for a long time, talking softly about their days and gossip. There was nowhere that Jester liked being more than with her mother. Marion was so busy these days that being alone together was rare. But after a while, the peaceful mood was interrupted by the clock chiming. 

Jester groaned, causing her mother to laugh and kiss her head. “It’s time for bed, sapphire,” Marion told her with a smile. The two of them exchanged their goodnights and a long hug. Bluud escorted her back to her bedroom, wishing her an affectionate goodnight before taking his post outside her door.

Many things baffled Caleb about Nicodranas but something he didn’t think he’d ever understand was the relationships the guards seemed to have with the princess and the queen. Of course he noticed the minotaur, Bluud, who glared at him whenever Caleb was with Jester. It was admirable, how much he cared for the princess, but Caleb couldn’t help but see it as weakness. 

A guard who loved his charge that much was a risk.

Then there was Beauregard and Yasha, two of the other royal guards. He first met them on his fifth day in the Menagerie Coast. Jester was in the library though it didn’t look like she was reading. From his position by the door, it looked more like she was drawing in the books. 

The door to the library opened. Caleb turned immediately, his hands igniting with flames. 

“Fucking shit!” Exclaimed one of them women at the sight of him standing there. In a flash there was a sword pointed at his neck. Caleb was ready to let the flames go, but before he could, Jester ran over.

“It’s okay!” She told them urgently. “Caleb, this is Beau and Yasha, they’re my guards too.” She looked at the two women as the taller one resheathed her sword. “Guys, this is Caleb, the Empire guy.” 

Caleb quickly extinguished his hands and gave Jester a sheepish bow, “My apologies, Jester.” He gave the same bow to Beau and Yasha before taking his place beside the door again. He didn’t miss the look that Beauregard gave him as she stepped deeper into the room. 

Beauregard and Yasha were both wearing armor with the crest of the royal family. Yasha, a tall aasimar woman, had white hair that was tied back in a thick braid. Beau was more slender and lithe, her hair was shaved on the sides and the rest was pulled into a loose top knot. While Yasha carried a sword, Beau had a bo staff that she carried as though it were an extra limb.

He did his best to fade into the wall, but Beau kept glancing at him every now and then. In his training, he spent hours learning how to stand so still he disappeared to others. He’d been doing it so far in Nicodranas. He silently thanked himself for having the foresight to cast Comprehend Languages as the three women began to talk in a language he did not understand.

“How’s he been so far?” Yasha asked, leaning her sword against the table as she sat down, keeping Caleb in her eye line. 

Jester chewed on the end of her pencil, “Fine, he doesn’t really say much, but he hasn’t tried to hurt me.”

“Yet,” Beau added almost imperceptibly. “I’ve seen Volstruckers before, they are chameleons. They will be whatever they need to be to get what they want from you.” Her sharp eyes darted to Caleb and then back to Jester. “We just don’t know what he wants yet.”

Caleb’s face was a mask of indifference, pretending as though he couldn’t understand. Inside his mind was whirling. Beauregard knew the Volstruckers better than anyone he’d met in the Menagerie Coast so far. That was dangerous.

“I don’t like it,” Yasha added. “Is Marion really sure this will work?”

Jester shrugged, “I guess. But, I don’t know, I like him. He’s weird.” Caleb really didn’t know what to make of that. Weird was never good, weird stuck out, weird was suspicious. But Jester was smiling.

The three women kept talking, but Caleb’s mind was whirling. He didn’t even notice Beau stand up, not until she was standing right in front of him. 

“Beauregard, was there something I could help you with?”

She crossed her arms, “No. Just…” She glanced back at Jester who gave her an encouraging nod and then continued, “I’m from the Empire too and I know that Nicodranas can be overwhelming at first. So if you want to train or talk or whatever…” She shrugged and then turned around and walked back to the table.

Caleb definitely didn’t know what to make of that. Yet, it made something stir inside of him. The Empire was home, it was all he had ever known and he found himself missing it more than he expected. Beauregard’s offer was appealing. He told himself it was just to try to get a sense of how the other guards viewed the royals.

In his room that night, Caleb sat on the bed with the sending stone in hand. He knew what Trent would say when he told him about Beauregard, he knew what would need to be done. Why was he dreading it? He had only spoken to her once, she shouldn’t matter to him.

He squeezed the stone gently, “Volstrucker Ermundrud reporting.” In succinct words, he told Ikithon about the information he gathered about the royal family and the guard rotations and finally about Beau.

The response was short and expected. “Neutralize the threat, we cannot risk this mission.”

“Yes, sir,” Caleb replied. And as the sending stone went dark, he forced himself to take a deep breath. He had never had an issue with killing, he had found it rather easy. Why was he struggling now? 

A week in this strange country with these strange people and it’s like he was a cadet all over again. He was that same boy who went catatonic when he spilled his first blood. Astrid had to slap him to get him back. She wasn’t here now. He had to do this on his own.

That was why he was here. You’re the most powerful of all of them, Bren. You’re the most loyal. Astrid and Easwulf work as a team, you’ve always worked better alone. 

He gripped his forearms tightly. What he saw in Jester and Marion was unlike anything he’d seen before. Their people were devoted to them, their guards too. It wasn’t entirely duty, they were cared for, loved even. Caleb didn’t know that was possible. He had never seen a ruler lead by anything other than fear. 

In the Empire, the king was feared, the Volstruckers were feared, the Crown’s Guard were feared. It was fear that caused the war between the Empire and the Dynasty to begin with. He had perceived it as fear or cowardice for the Menagerie Coast to refrain from joining in. Perhaps it was love.

Queen Marion loved her country. Maybe she saw her soldiers as more than pawns, she saw them as people. She loved them and so she wanted them to be safe, away from the war that had already claimed thousands of lives. 

His nails dug so deep into his arms that he felt the quick sting of skin breaking. Caleb knew he was intelligent, but for the first time in his life, he didn’t think that was enough.

Chapter Text

When Caleb went to relieve Bluud of his post in the morning, he didn’t find him by Jester’s bedroom. After a few weeks, he knew that Princess Jester loves to sleep in; it was rare for her to be awake when Caleb arrived. So, with a confused frown, he walked further down the hall.

Bluud was standing guard beside a yellow door with a bright green archway painted on it. The arch looked just a little like a dick. He had no doubt that that was intentional.

When he approached, Caleb bowed to Bluud respectfully. Bluud looked down at him, a slight huff coming out of his nose. Bluud was smart enough to see Caleb as a threat, even after a handful of weeks. That was admirable, he wouldn't let his guard down when it came to his charge.

“Jester is painting in her studio,” Bluud told him shortly.

With that, the minotaur turned away and strode in the direction of the barracks. Caleb turned to the door. Through it, he could hear soft music. 

He knocked softly on the door and Jester called, “Come in, Bluud!”

“It’s Caleb,” he said as he slowly opened the door. 

Jester was sitting on a stool in front of an easel. The canvas on it was washed with blue and red in the shapes of two figures side by side. She wore pink and white striped pajama pants and a sleeveless shirt. Both her arms and her chest were covered in dots of paint. Jester grinned when she saw him, fangs on full display.

“Caleb!” She turned her head enough for him to see a pencil stuck behind her ear. Something in his heart skipped. She looked so comfortable and relaxed and happy. Somehow none of that went away when he came in, if anything it seemed to make her happier.

He bowed, “I just wanted to let you know I was here, I’ll step back outside-”

“Wait!” In a flash, Jester moved across the room and grabbed his hand in hers. He flinched at the sudden contact, making Jester pull back sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” He straightened himself and tucked his hands behind his back. Gods, he wanted her to take his hand again, he wouldn't pull away. His mind snagged on those thoughts. Before he got her, when was the last time someone touched him without trying to hurt him?

It had been just before he and Trent teleported to the border with the envoy from the Empire. Astrid and Wulf had been there to see him off. In front of Trent, they couldn't show much affection, but Astrid leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

She whispered in his ear, "Kill them and come home soon. Remember the mission."

They hadn't been words of reassurance, but at the time they felt like it. Looking back, the words made Caleb feel sick. Astrid was loyal, more so than he or Eadwulf had ever been. When he and Wulf had tried to bend and stretch their strict rules, Astrid reprimanded them.

Suddenly he was glad it was him that had been chosen and not her. The thought of Jester being in Astrid's care was frightening to say the least. There was no doubt in his mind Jester and her mother would be long dead were Astrid here.

“What can I assist you with?”

With a slight blush, she told him, “I wanted to show you my paintings."

The spacious room was made cramped with the canvases, towers of paint in more forms than he knew existed. Every available surface was covered in various clutter. Most of the canvasses had some amount of paint splashed over them. His eyes fell across a painting of Beau and Yasha sparring, both of them grinning with a wild look in their eyes. Beside it was an extremely obscene painting of a genasi man, Caleb’s cheek flushed red as he quickly looked away. 

“You’re very talented,” Caleb told her honestly. Her paintings were so vibrant and full of color, just as much as their painter was. They had a sense of humor he had never seen before in art, though he wasn't much of a connoisseur. It was clear that she enjoyed the process of creating. Despite never having any artistic leanings, being in that room made him want to draw or paint.

If possible, Jester’s smile grew even wider. “Thank you! I’ve been painting since I was a little baby. Mama says that I used to draw all over the walls of her bedroom." She tipped her head to the side, something he knew meant he was about to be asked a question. "What was your mother like?”

Caleb’s heart stuttered. Una Ermundrud. 

Come here, Schatzi, you’ve got chocolate on your face. 

You are our pride and joy, Bren.

Ich liebe dich, mein Söhnchen.

He swallowed thickly, “She died some years ago.” I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.

Jester’s eyes filled with sorrow, “Caleb, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” She reached out for him, this time letting her fingers gently touch the sleeve of his coat. “You must have loved her very much.”

“Ja,” he said quietly, afraid his voice would break. “I did, I-I do.” His arms ached but he forced himself to keep them straight by his side.

Jester gave him a reassuring smile and walked deeper into the room towards her easel. Caleb took a deep breath before following her.

His training focused on keeping his mind clear. He knew how to make his mind completely blank. At that moment, he couldn't seem to do it. His mother's voice kept echoing in his ears. One second she was praising him, the next she was screaming as she died.

Thankfully, Jester didn't seem to see the turmoil happening in his head.

She perched on the stool again and he stood beside her, gazing at the easel. “It doesn’t look like much now,” Jester told him, absentmindedly chewing on the end of one of her brushes. “But it’s going to be me and my mama standing on the beach. She doesn’t leave the castle much, it makes her really nervous. So I’m bringing the sea to her.” Jester’s tail flicked behind her. “I’m going to give it to her for her birthday.”

A small smile rose on his face, “I’m sure that she will love it.” 

Jester clearly adored her mother, she would do anything for her. And the same could be said of the queen. That was a weakness he didn’t expect. It would be such an easy weakness to exploit. That is why it was good that Una and Leofric were gone, no one could hurt him through them. There was no one he loved.

“Caleb?” Jester looked up at him with purple eyes full of concern. “Are you okay?”

He nodded and stepped away from her. “Yes. I’ll take my post now.” Jester's eyes followed him and he hated the concern and sorrow he saw in her purple eyes. So he took five long strides and left the room. 

With the door safely between him and Jester, Caleb squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to get it the fuck together. What was wrong with him? He shook out his arms and refocused his mind. He was going to stand here until Jester was done.

He should use this time to plan.

Fire would be too obvious. Caleb scratched that out in his mind. To kill Beauregard he would need to be sly, nothing could lead back to him. It would be best if they didn’t know she was dead. 

She would be too cautious around him, she would never go somewhere alone. Perhaps he could slip her a slow acting poison. He’d done that before, it was simple. But those times, he never knew the person. He was given a target. This was a woman who he knew, who he maybe even respected. She offered him an olive branch of kindness, seeing him as a fellow stranger in a strange land.

Poison.

Suffocation.

Strangulation.

Caleb dug his hands into his hair, pulling on the roots as tight as he could. It was something Wulf always tried to stop him from doing. Wulf wasn’t here now. Now he was alone. He hadn’t been alone since he was a child. 

Hanging.

Exsanguination.

Drowning.

Burning. Burning. Burning.

“Caleb?” 

Though Jester's voice was soft, he flinched as though he had been struck. He forced himself to meet her eyes and found the princess looking up at him with concern. It was only then that he realized that he was crying.

Quickly, he used his sleeve to wipe away his tears, “Ah, Jester, hallo.”

For a brief moment, Jester worried her lip between her teeth. He felt laid bare before her. He hasn't cried in front of anyone in so long, since he was a boy. He was showing her so much weakness. She could take advantage of it so easily.

Then she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him. Caleb stiffened, but she didn’t let go, if anything she squeezed him tighter. In his ear, she whispered, “Whatever it is, it’s going to be alright.”

Caleb swallowed thickly. He didn't know if he was allowed to return the embrace, if he was allowed to touch her. “I apologize, I am just missing home.” It wasn’t even a half truth, a quarter truth at best. 

Jester seemed to take it at face value and she pulled back. Caleb was stuck between wanting her back in his arms and wanting to teleport himself away from the situation. She fit against him well, her skin cool to the touch. He could breathe easier somehow. But just moments before, he was plotting to kill one of her best friends. 

Caleb took a step back and folded his hands behind his back.

“It’s okay, Caleb,” Jester smiled warmly. “I get sad sometimes too.”

“You do?”

She nodded, “I was alone a lot when I was a kid and I was kept a secret and so I couldn’t really talk to anyone. I know my mama was just trying to protect me, but sometimes it…doesn’t feel okay that I was so alone. I don’t know how to talk to people or make friends.” She smiled and squeezed his arm gently. “You’re really sweet, Caleb. It’s probably really scary being away from home. Maybe you can talk to Beau, you guys come from the same place, maybe that would help?”

Caleb tried to return the smile, “Maybe. Thank you, Jester.”

Why would she care about him? He was just a soldier, he was a goddamn spy that was going to kill her and everyone she loved. And yet she hugged him. She comforted him. He was a terrible fucking person, Caleb knew that down to his core.

Veth had been watching Caleb for a long time. Since the very first day, her heart broke for him. He was a child, a child so far from home. When he was alone, he looked as though he were to shatter into a million pieces.

She thought of Luc. After a nightmare, he would climb in bed with her and Yeza, shaking until he was held tight between them. She couldn't help but wonder how long since Caleb was help like that.

She followed him day and night, watched him around Jester and him alone. With Jester, he seemed warmer. He smiled when he thought she wasn't looking. Alone, he turned into a statue, the gears always turning behind his eyes.

When she was able, she snuck into his room to listen. She knew he was talking to someone on a sending stone, having found it in his drawers but hadn’t been able to overhear a conversation yet. 

That night, she managed to slip in alongside him. 

Caleb sank down onto his bed, leaning forward on his knees. He let out a shaky breath that made Veth want to bring him into a hug. He stayed like that for a long moment, forcing air in and out of his lungs. Then, he reached for the sending stone with a hand that shook ever so slightly.

Veth’s heart soared as it always did when she was about to find something out. Whatever he was about to say into that stone would help her protect Marion and Jester and the kingdom. Caleb squeezed the stone and it pulsed with a warm light. He took a long breath before speaking.

“Volstrucker Ermndrud reporting. Beauregard remains an-an issue.” He tripped over the words, emotions making his words grow thick. “The princess trusts me. I fear harming Beauregard would-would raise suspicion and damage that trust.”

The voice that returned sent chills up Veth’s spine. It was harsh and cruel, every syllable treated like a threat. “I thought you were better than this, Bren.” Caleb flinched. “She needs to be removed. Do your mission or I will have to come there and do it myself. You’ve already wasted time.”

Caleb swallowed thickly, “Yes, sir.” And the stone fell dark. 

Beau, Caleb was going to kill Beau. Veth's fingers reached for the crossbow at her hip, but something stilled her hand.

Veth saw his brow tighten as he set the stone aside. He shed his coat and Veth had to clamp her hand over her mouth to keep from gasping. Without his coat, she could see his bare arms. They were covered in scars the entire way around and up to his elbows. They all were healed over, though some were still in the process of healing with puckered pink skin.

She wanted to cry and the anguish on Caleb’s face as he dug his fingers into his arms. He was just a boy, he had been hurt for so long and he was finally somewhere safe. Veth knew how disorienting that could be. Suddenly, he had time to process. He was in pain. If Luc were hurting this much, she would want someone to care for him. 

So Veth stepped forward.

Interacting with him would mean that he knew she was here, that she overheard the conversation. But then she looked at Caleb as he pressed a hand to his mouth and started to cry. That made her decision for her. He might be plotting to kill her friend, he might kill her, but he was a child. 

As the invisibility disappeared from Veth, she stepped towards Caleb. He snapped to look up at her immediately. It said something about his state that he didn’t immediately move to cast. “Who are you?” He asked, leaning away from her.

She smiled in what she hoped was a comforting way, “My name is Veth.”

“You-you heard what I said-”

“I did,” Veth told him, keeping her voice gentle. “And if you try to kill me, you’ll be dead before the spell even hits me." He looked away, almost in shame.I’m not going to hurt you. I will tell Marion what you said, but…” She sighed, “We are not ignorant to your purpose here. You reporting to someone is exactly what we expected.”

Caleb took the information in slowly, mulling every word over. And when he had finished processing, he looked up at her with so much fear, “Are you going to kill me?”

In a quick motion, Veth moved towards him. He was so still, like a cat trying not to be seen. To her surprise, he let her take his hand.

“I have a son. He’s four years old and his name is Luc. He makes his father and I read the same three books every night. He has nightmares about being swallowed by whales.” Caleb let out a slight laugh. “I am not going to kill you, Caleb. If it were my son in your place, I would want someone to show him mercy and kindness.”

“I don’t understand.”

She smiled warmly, “You don’t need to. I know you came from a scary place, that you’re used to being hurt. We’re not going to hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you, Caleb.”

To her surprise, she meant the words. He could kill Beauregard, he could give all their secrets to the Empire, she would still not let anyone hurt him. And it seemed as though Caleb believed the words because he bowed his head to her. She felt his tears drop onto her hand.

Chapter Text

Bluud was running late. 

Caleb noticed the second the clock in his head told him it’s nearing midnight. Bluud was supposed to relieve him, but a look up either end of the hall told him that the minotaur was late. That was perfectly fine, Caleb told himself, he would stand here as long as it took. 

Jester was fast asleep by then, or at least she should have been. He had a hard time telling if her fake snoring had finally given way to real ones or not. She liked to make loud exaggerated snores, just to see if he would call her on it. He usually didn’t, unless she was in a bad mood and he was trying to cheer her up. 

Shifting his feet the slightest amount, Caleb got comfortable, his hands folded neatly behind his back. 

Then the screaming started. 

Before Caleb even knew what he was doing, he threw open the doors and burst into the princess’s bedchambers, fire already blooming in his hand. Yet he saw no assailants, no weapons drawn, no life threatened, instead he saw Jester still fast asleep. 

Her legs were tangled in the sheets, her hair wild and sticking up around her horns, and she was crying out in her sleep. 

Caleb froze where he stood, unsure of what to do. That was not in any of the protocols he had been given. Then it hit him all at once that he was alone in the princess’s bedroom, she was fast asleep wearing a nightgown, and he most certainly should not be there. 

His manners and sense of duty, urged him to turn around and return to his post. He moved to do just that, but then she started to cry out again. 

In that moment he remembered another woman, one with long blonde hair and a permanent frown on her face. He remembered how Astrid would cling to him and Wulf after a nightmare, how even the situation they were in was better than the one her mind would conjure up. After a nightmare was the only time Astrid would let them comfort her.

It was that thought that made him turn around, that made him summon his Dancing Lights as he crouched down beside Jester’s head. 

“Princess?” He said softly. He reached out as if to touch her, but thought better of it. “Jester?” When she still didn’t stir, he forced himself to reach out and shook her shoulder.

Jester jerked awake, quickly peddling away from him in her panic. Her breathing was harsh, eyes blown wide in fear. His heart ached for her, she should not be made to feel such fear, she was too kind of heart to be put through so much.

Caleb put his hands out in a calming gesture and tried to make himself appear smaller, “You were having a nightmare, your highness.” 

She blinked. “Caleb?” Jester swallowed thickly and pushed her hair out of her face.

“Ja, it’s just me. Bluud should be here any second,” he added just in case she was nervous about being alone with him. She was no longer tucked under the blankets, allowing him to see where the sleeves of her nightshirt clung to her muscles. 

“Are you alright?” He asked gently. Jester wordlessly shook her head and pulled her legs to her chest. “Do you want me to get someone? Your mother?” 

“No.” She moved towards him. “It’s safe in here?”

He nodded and sent his Dancing Lights around into the corners of the room. As light flooded the nooks and crannies, Jester visibly relaxed. She untangled her legs from the sheets and looked as though she was about to say something, but before she could a large frame appeared in the doorway.

“Jester?” Bluud’s deep voice asked. 

Caleb immediately stood at attention, pulling away from Jester. Bluud growled deeply when he saw Caleb in the room, standing so close to the princess. Caleb’s heart beat in his ears, waiting for the punishment to come, but before he could try to apologize, Jester stood and ran into the minotaur’s arms. 

Bluud hugged her immediately, the tiefling almost disappearing into his broad arms. Seeing his chance to make his exit, Caleb bowed deeply and left the room. Bluud’s low tones filled the room behind him.

The punishment would be severe, he knew, yet he could only think that it was worth it to help Jester.

As Caleb left, Bluud turned his attention back to the girl in his arms. He would deal with the Volstrucker later. “Did he hurt you?” Bluud asked softly. Tucked in his arms, the last dregs of the nightmare were finally leaving Jester.

She shook her head and looked up at him, “No, he-he was helping me. Don’t be mad at him.”

Bluud’s arms tightened around her protectively, but he didn’t respond. One of his large hands cupped the back of her head. With a gentle sigh, Bluud used his claws to untangle her hair. “Do you want to go to your mother?”

Jester shook her head. “I don’t want to worry her.” Jester worried far too much about her mother, though he supposed it was only natural. For most of her life, she only had him and Marion. “Sit with me for a while?”

He smiled, “Of course.” He guided her back over to the bed, letting her climb in before pulling the blankets up around her and perching on the edge of the bed. He’d been doing this since she was just a little girl, when her nightmares were filled with nothing more than boogeymen and dragons. He reached down and brushed her hair back, “You’re safe, Jester. I will always protect you.”

She smiled and leaned into his hand, “I know. But you don’t need to protect me from Caleb. He’s a good person.”

Bluud sighed. It was his job to be pessimistic and cautious so that Jester and Marion didn’t have to be. “I wish I had your faith in people.” 

“Trust me, Bluud. I know what I’m doing.”

“Marion, you’re putting Jester in danger for something that-”

“Something that could save hundreds, that could end the war!”

“We know he’s trying to kill our soldiers and still you let him wander free? Jester could be next.”

“Caleb is a boy, he-”

“He’s a soldier, Marion! The sooner you see him as a killer, the sooner we can get him and his plotting out of our country.”

“My country.” 

“Marion-”

“This was the deal I made with the Bright Queen. War will not touch us if we figure out how to break the programming. Jester is the key, you know that.”

“I think you’ve made it clear that I don’t know anything. War is already here, your majesty, it’s been here since the second Caleb came into this castle.”

“What’s wrong?” Jester’s voice cut through Bluud’s mind as she squeezed her hand.

He sighed, “Your mother and I had an argument about that very thing.” Caleb. “She believes in you so much that she…” He looked away. “I won’t burden you with it. But I will be staying closer to you and Caleb.”

“Okay.” She turned onto her side, curled towards him. Bluud smiled and leaned down to kiss her temple. “Stay until I fall asleep?”

He nodded, knowing it would only take a few more moments for her to drift off.

When Caleb was summoned before the queen the following day, all he could think about was the previous night, how he invaded the princess’s privacy and was caught. In his mind he was already preparing himself for the coming punishment, how he would be berated for this error. Marion didn't seem cruel, at least not in front of her daughter, but Caleb knew better than to trust first impressions. 

He met Marion in the throne room and knelt before her in the throne. “Your majesty.” 

“Stand, Caleb.” Her voice was even, practiced. He couldn’t read her as well as he wanted. Marion rose from the throne and walked down the stairs towards him. Her silk gown hugged her figure and flowed in waves from her curves. “Would you walk with me?” 

“Of course, your majesty,” he agreed and rose quickly. Caleb offered her his arm which she took with a small smile. The two of them begin to walk through the hallway, the stained glass windows shedding colorful light on the wood. 

“Bluud told me you were in Jester’s bedchambers last night,” Marion begins, her tone remaining amicable. “Can you tell me why?”

Caleb swallowed, the truth was always better. Whatever punishment he was to receive would only be worse if he lied. He remembered harsh hands, freezing towers, blood covering his arms.

In a robotic voice, he told her, “The princess was screaming, I went in assuming she was being attacked. She was having a nightmare and I woke her up and attempted to calm her down. That’s when Bluud entered. I could see how it might have looked untoward, but I promise you, your majesty, I had nothing but the best intentions towards your daughter.”

Marion hummed thoughtfully, “That was the same story my daughter told me this morning.” She stopped their walk and turned to face him. He forced himself to meet her eyes. “Caleb, my Jester does not often have nightmares; I hope that this isn’t going to be a repeated event. But…I appreciate you looking after her.” Then the queen’s posture changed, she straightened up and Caleb flinched, he knew what was coming. “Veth told me what she overheard.”

“Your majesty-”

“I don’t wish you harm, Caleb.” Her voice remained so gentle, he could hardly stand it. “I know you have been given orders and I know that those orders put the lives of my daughter and my soldiers at risk.” Her red eyes met his and he saw no malice. “But I have allowed you here, I have allowed you near my Jester, do you know why?”

He shook his head.

She touched his hand ever so gently, “Because I believe you are more than a Volstrucker.”

“That is a mistake,” Caleb told her harshly. If she was going to kill him, he wanted her to get over with it. “I am a Volstrucker first and only.”

The look on Marion’s face was full of empathy. “You are not.”

“Your majesty-”

She cut him off, “Just think about it. You were once a child with a mother and father. I know that little boy is in there somewhere.”

“He died long ago,” Caleb whispered.

Marion touched his chest. “As my daughter, things that are dead don’t always stay that way.” Then, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Marion gave him a warm smile and walked away. Caleb was left there alone, more off kilter and uncertain that he would have been if she had struck him.

Part of him wished she had.

On his way back to the barrack, Caleb turned the corner and immediately found himself shoved harshly against the wall. 

A forearm pressed to his throat, forcing him to lift his head. He immediately moved to try to cast, but Beauregard kneed him in the stomach, removing any air from his lungs. With her free hand, she grabbed his wrists so he couldn’t move them. 

“Try to cast anything and I’ll snap your neck.”

In the dim hallway, Beau’s face was shaded. The visage of death coming for him. When he recovered enough to meet her eyes, he found her glaring at her with pure malice. “If I hadn’t been told not to kill you, you would be dead right now.” He could almost imagine her teeth as fangs dripping with his blood. He would not be surprised if she tore his throat out with her teeth.

“What do you want?” Caleb gasped, trying to fight against her. She was stronger than him, he had no chance. 

“Why the fuck do you want to kill me?”

“I have to,” Caleb said with what little air he had. He struggled against her arm again, but he didn’t even move an inch.

“Why?” Beau demanded, pushing ever harder against him.

He shook his head, “I don’t have a choice.”

Her eyes turned into black slits with the fury of her glare, “There is always a choice. Tell me why.”

“The volstruckers,” he told her weakly. “You know too much about us.”

She held his gaze for a long moment, “Are you going to hurt Jester?”

“I-I don’t want to,” he told her. It was the truth, the very thought of harming her made him feel sick. 

Mercifully, Beau pulled away but stayed close enough to keep him trapped in the corner. “Jester is my best friend, if you even think about hurting her, I don’t care what the queen says, I will rip your throat out. Don’t fucking test me.” She shoved him against the wall again before stalking off.

He slid to the ground, trying desperately to catch his breath. His hands dug into his hair and pulled at the roots.

“Lebby?” He looked up and saw Veth there, crossbow out. He didn’t know how long she had been following him, probably long enough. 

He shook his head, “Nothing she said was out of order.” Caleb his head back against the wall. “I should let her kill me.”

“No.” Veth tucked away her crossbow and hurried over to him. She stood in front of him, forcing one of her hands into his. “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that.” 

He shrugged, “Why? It’s going to happen eventually.”

To his surprise, Veth pulled him into her arms, hugging him tight. Even more surprising, he let her.

Chapter Text

Since Caleb came to Nicodranas, he had been loosening up, getting more comfortable. Jester saw it in his more frequent smiles and the way he had begun to tease her right back. She didn’t know what happened, but it seemed like it disappeared overnight.  

Jester stepped into the hallway one morning and saw him as a soldier. He stood with his back straight and eyes forward. Caleb’s hands were folded behind his back, he looked like a statue.

“Morning, Caleb!” Jester greeted, trying to be as cheerful as ever. She flounced up to him and her smile faltered. Caleb’s face was a mask of neutrality. His eyes, which were normally so expressive, were nearly impossible to read. She frowned, “Caleb?”

“Good morning, your highness.” He bowed to her. There was no teasing tone at her title, just formality. It left a bad taste in her mouth. This wasn’t her Caleb, this was a soldier. 

Jester stepped forward and took his hand, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He flinched ever so slightly, but didn’t pull away, though she wasn’t sure if that was because he wanted to keep touching her or he felt like he had too. Just in case it was the latter, Jester let go, “No, I just didn’t sleep well.” 

She forced the smile back on her face, it was a good thing she had something prepared for this. “Well, come on then. I have something to show you.”

Jester smiled at him over her shoulder as she walked briskly to her studio. Caleb’s footsteps followed. Jester wasn’t worried about showing her art, not usually. These circumstances were different. Caleb needed to love it, to be affected by it. Something happened to make him slip backwards, this painting needed to fix it.

“Close your eyes,” she told him when they reached the door. He didn’t give her a quip, just did as he was told. It made her want to throw up. He flinched again when Jester took his hand, but this time she didn’t let go and brought him into the studio.

The painting was by far one of her best. 

It showed Caleb standing and looking out at the ocean. His eyes were closed and there was a peaceful smile on his face. He wore the linen clothes of the coast, feet submerged in the shallow water. His red hair was blowing in the wind. 

Standing behind him were two figures, outlined in white and fading into the background. A man and a woman. Jester tried to capture what he told her of his parents. His father’s mustache, his mother’s thick braids. And curling in between their feet was the faded outline of a cat. 

“You can open your eyes.”

When he saw the painting, Caleb’s breath hitched in his chest. Jester watched his expression carefully. She saw pain and heartbreak, grief deep in the water of his eyes. He stepped forward and reached out as if to touch it. And then he started to sob, one hand pressed over his mouth.

Jester rushed to him, one hand on his back, “I’m sorry, Caleb, I can get rid of it-”

“No.” Caleb looked at her, eyes full of tears. “It’s wunderbar I… No one has ever given me anything like this.” He just stared at the painting for a long moment before asking, “Can I touch it?”

Jester nodded, “It’s dry.” 

She lingered by his side as he reached out and delicately touched his painted face. Tears still fell down his cheeks but there was a soft smile on his face. His fingers moved shakily to the ghostly depictions of his mother and father. 

“My mother never saw the ocean,” he told her quietly. Jester touched his back softly in a comforting motion. To her surprise, he leaned a bit into the tough. “When my father came back from deployment, he would tell the most wonderful stories, including what the ocean was like.” He laughed wetly, “I loved that story so much.”

Jester leaned her head on his shoulder, “Tell it to me?” Caleb obliged.

Jester’s warm presence at his side and the beautiful art before him made the old story come easily to his tongue. “The way my father always started it was by saying ‘I could smell it before I saw it’.” His eyes fell onto the figure of his father in the painting. Somehow Jester managed to capture his expression, neutral but not stoic, just the hint of a smile in his eyes. 

Caleb continued, “He didn’t know they were that close to the sea until he smelled the salt and water.” Jester’s tail curled around his leg, squeezing gently. “On his first day off, he and a few other soldiers went to explore and-”

“What are you doing, Bren?”

His breath caught in his throat as Trent Ikithon’s voice rang in his mind. 

“She’s making you soft. There is no one else in the room with you, you could kill her right now.”

Caleb responded  back in his head , “This is not the right moment. I have a plan.” It wasn’t true, but Trent didn’t need to know that, not yet at least.

“Caleb?” He looked down to see Jester watching him with concern. Her body was still pressed to his side, one hand on his chest. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head and tried to smile, “Nothing. I apologize, I’ll continue if you wish.”

“Yes, please!” Jester leaned her head back onto him. As he told Jester the story of his father nearly being swept out to sea, he kept looking at the painting and tried to forget all about Trent, Marion, Beau, and the rest of the Volstruckers waiting back in the Empire.

With the comforting weight of Jester against him, it was easier than he thought.

Caleb was finally feeling better. His spirits were lifted by Jester’s painting, it was now hung proudly in his bedroom. Beau gave him a wide berth, and he heard nothing from his master. Veth was by his side for the majority of the day. Her presence offered him comfort.

In a week’s time there was to be a ball, celebrating Jester’s birthday. Within moments of its announcement, everyone in Nicodranas knew about it, even Caleb.

Well, it was hard not to know when Jester greeted him that morning screaming in excitement that her mother was throwing a ball in her honor and dragged him into her bedroom where dozens of frilly gowns were laid out. 

Caleb had to admit that Jester’s enthusiasm was infectious, he could already feel himself smiling. Jester gripped his arm in excitement, nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet, “Which dress do you like the best?”

He blinked in surprise, more than a little overwhelmed by the colors and sheer amount of garments around him. Every color imaginable was spilled over the bed and chair and sofa, some hung from the curtain rod. It felt like standing in a rainbow. “I’m afraid I do not know much about women’s fashion, let alone in Nicodranas.”

Jester rolled her eyes, “Cayleb, you’re no help!”

He pressed his lips together to try to stop from smiling. “I apologize, your highness.” The title lilted off his tongue, ringing with teasing. Her eyes sparkled with delight and her tail flicked behind her. 

He loved how expressive she was, that just a few words could get her entire face to change. She grabbed a bright yellow dress from the pile, “What about this one?” He was about to say that it was beautiful, but she looked at herself in the mirror and tossed it to the side, “It makes me look pale.”

Caleb smiled, “I think that purple is a lovely color on you.” He looked over the vast array of frills and silk and embroidery. His eyes fell on a dress draped over a chair. It was a deep purple with almost no embellishments. With a low waist and dropped back, he knew it would stand out in its simplicity. He carefully extracted it from the pile, feeling Jester’s eyes on him.

He’d long since gotten used to the feeling of her watching him. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, if anything it was soothing. She looked at him without judgment. He couldn’t remember the last time someone did that.

When he held the dress out to her, she squealed and took it, “Cayleb! I love it!”

He felt a light blush cover his cheeks. “You do not need to take my suggestion, as I said-”

Jester blew a raspberry at him, “Shut up, Caleb. I’m wearing this.” She rose on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” As she stepped away from him, her hair trailed along his chest. He forced himself not to shiver.

Of course everything was ruined when he returned to his chambers that night. After he had showered and got himself ready for bed, the sending stone started pulsing. Caleb’s heart rate spiked at the sight, a message from Ikithon. He hadn’t spoken to him in a while, Ikithon didn’t know about Caleb’s conversation with the queen or Beau. For all he knew, Beau was dead.

With a shaking hand, Caleb lifted it. “Yes, sir?”

“Bren, it is time.”

Caleb’s heart stilled in his chest. No. No. No.

“Kill the princess. Her blood will be the first act of war. The rest of us lie in wait for you, do not fail. Astrid and Eadwulf’s lives are at stake. If you do not complete your mission, their lives will end. Their blood will be on your hands.”

Trent knew. He knew something of Caleb’s mind, about his feelings towards the princess and this country. Never would he have dreamed Trent would threaten two of his best volstruckers so openly. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. What were the lives of two compared to everything that could be gained from a war with the Menagerie Coast?

He knew Ikithon was waiting for a response so he gathered what little strength he had in order to reply. “It will be done, sir, before the week is out.”

“See that it is.”

As the message ended, the stone tumbled from his hand and hit the floor with a loud thud. Time slowed to a dull crawl. Jester. Astrid. Eadwulf. To save one, two would die. To save two, one. 

It was his choice to make. He didn’t doubt Trent’s threat for a moment. 

Astrid, his very first love. A woman with immovable loyalty who cried in his arms when she took her first life.

Eadwulf, his loyal protector. A man who didn’t hesitate to stand in front of danger, who used to cut his hair.

And Jester.

A bright light, an open embrace, a kind smile. She was an open doorway, a gentle hand, and a warm candle in the dark.

Caleb knew what love felt like and it felt exactly like how he felt for Jester. It was undeniable, this pulling inside him, the blush that kept lighting his cheeks when she teased him. How could he kill her? How could he possibly end her life when so much affection whelmed inside of him?

Caleb, you look so handsome when you do your hair like that.

Could you teach me some Zemnien? Come onnnn, why not?

Would you stay with me until Bluud comes back?

Caleb pushed his hair behind his ears. It was too much. His mind didn’t stop spinning, not even he squeezed his eyes closed and thumped the heel of his hand to his head. Nothing worked. 

His father always said he had a calculating mind. He said that trying to stop Caleb from thinking was like trying to teach a cat not to chase mice.

Caleb curled into his bed, eyes staring wide at the opposite wall. He didn’t sleep the whole night. 

In the days leading up to the ball, Caleb’s mind was plagued by Trent and the ultimatum. Every few hours, Trent’s voice would come to his mind. He taunted Caleb, threatened Wulf and Astrid. Caleb felt as though he were losing his mind. 

He tried to keep his distance from Jester, sure that he was being Scried on. But of course, Jester was having none of that. 

It didn’t escape his notice that she’s been touching him a lot more since the moment in her studio. She always greeted him with a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Her hands trailed along his arm and she would grab his hands while making a point. Jester’s tail prodded at him and curled around his leg and ankle. Gods, it was endearing.

He loved Princess Jester Lavorre. And it would destroy his fucking life.

On the day of the ball, she surprised him with a suit. It wasn’t a uniform. And more than that, it was in the colors of the Menagerie Coast. There was no red or gold to be found, only blue and white against a black suit. 

He knew what she was trying to tell him with it, that he belonged in Nicodranas. Maybe that he belonged with her. He let himself pretend that’s what it meant. 

In the palace, Jester flitted about the ballroom with her mother, waiting for the guests to arrive. Servants were bringing out trays of hor d'oeuvres and bowls of lemonade and punch. The ballroom was decorated with linen wall hangings and sea shells. One of Jester’s paintings was displayed proudly, depicting the sun rising over the city. Everything was perfect for the princess’s twenty-fourth birthday.

Jester wore the dress Caleb picked for her, the deep purple dress falling like water against her skin. Affixed to her head with a diadem of pearls, matching her mother’s much more grand crown. Silver makeup was painted around her eyes.

Marion walked over to her daughter and greeted her with a warm smile and a hug, “What do you think, sapphire?”

“It’s perfect, mama,” Jester stood on her toes and kissed her cheek. 

Later that night, once the ball finally began, Jester stood beside her mother’s throne, watching as the guests started to arrive. She could hardly contain her excitement, bouncing on her toes. Marion chuckled softly and squeezed her hand. Standing guard along the side of the room, Beau and Yasha were drinking glasses of lemonade. 

Lords and ladies from the Coast all came forward to the throne, dipping into bows and curtsies to wish Jester a happy birthday. She thanked them all in turn, but her eyes kept darting to the doorway. Caleb hadn’t arrived yet.

It wasn’t like she was waiting for him, definitely not. She just wanted to make sure that he came. That’s it. Jester kept telling herself that over and over and-

Then he appeared. 

Her breath caught in her throat.

Caleb looked beautiful. His long red hair was braided back, a few strands falling loose around his face. He stood tall in the suit she gave him. He looked like he belonged in this country. He looked like he belonged with her. 

Jester leaned down to kiss her mother’s cheek before darting out into the crowd and making her way towards Caleb. He didn’t notice her right away, but she saw the moment that he did. 

Caleb’s eyes widened, pupils dilating ever so slightly. He drank her in with wide eyes. A pink tint came to his cheeks as their eyes met. It made him look even more pretty. 

“Caleb!” She ran over and took his hands, looking him over. “You look so handsome.”

“And you look…breathtaking,” he told her quietly. A small smile played on his lips as lifted one of her hands to his lips and kissed the back of it. A kaleidoscope of butterflies took flight in her stomach as his warm lips grazed her skin. “Happy birthday, Jester.”

Gods, she loved how her name sounded in his accent. She felt herself blush and thanked him softly. Reaching down to her wrist, she offered him her dance card. “I don’t know if you do this in the Empire, but-”

“We do,” Caleb told her softly. His long fingers curled around her wrist as he pulled her closer to be able to read the card better. She tried so hard not to focus on how warm his skin was against hers. “Though I don’t think I’ve ever put my name on one before.”

Jester grinned, “You have to then! It’s my birthday so you have to do what I say.”

With a flick of his wrist, a pen appeared in his hand and he elegantly wrote her name on her partially filled dance card. He stepped back and bowed, “I look forward to our dance, your highness.”

“Yeah-yeah me too!” She stumbled over the words, her cheeks turning purple. “See you then!” And she all but ran away, not wanting him to see the purple that started to spread down her neck and chest.

“Where were you?” Marion asked with a smirk when Jester came back to her side. When she saw her daughter’s blush, Marion’s tail flicked at Jester teasingly. 

Jester giggled, “Just talking to Caleb. He’s wearing the suit I picked out for him.” 

Marion smiled to herself, “Of course he is.”

“What are you waiting for?” Trent growled in Caleb’s head. Caleb’s fingers tightened around the stem of his lemonade glass. His eyes tracked Jester where she was dancing with a goliath woman. She twirled with a glowing smile on her face, giggling as she danced. 

Caleb lifted his glass to his lips and whispered in response, “I’m waiting to dance with her. I’ll take her outside. I’ll do it then.” 

He didn’t know if the words were true. He still hadn’t decided. 

Astrid and Eadwulf or Jester? His mind had been plagued with nothing but that decision. Every other moment, he was sure he had made up his mind. 

He would do what his master bid him, he would follow orders.

He would break his oaths. He would stop a war from happening.

He would let Eadwulf and Astrid die.

He would take Jester’s life.

Caleb’s eyes darted around the ballroom. He needed Veth. He didn’t trust himself. He would hurt someone, maybe himself, maybe Jester. Maybe everyone in this room. Caleb was just about to reach out to her, to call and see if she was near him. Before he could, Jester seemed to apparate in front of him.

“Caleb!” She greeted him with yet another hug. He wanted to push her away and pull her closer all at once. “Are you ready to dance?”

He nodded and offered her his arm. As she took it, he asked, “Do you think we might dance on the terrace? I find myself quite overwhelmed in here.”

Of course she was accommodating. Gods, she was too good. Jester smiled at him and squeezed his arm and said, “Absolutely!”

When the doors to the terrace clicked shut behind them, Caleb felt his breathing start to pick up. 

Jester squeezed his hand, “Don’t be nervous, it’s just me.”

It’s just me, all you have to do is kill me. It’s just me.

He forced himself to nod as the music began to play inside, faintly echoing out to them. In any other circumstances, it would have been lovely, romantic even. Caleb brought Jester into his arms and they began to dance. 

He led her in a simple waltz, spinning them in circles around the terrace. Their feet clicked softly against the tiles. 

“Now, Bren, strike now.” Caleb flinched. 

“Are you alright?” Jester asked, pulling back just enough to make eye contact.

He swallowed thickly and nodded, “It’s been a long time since I danced like this.” 

Jester smiled and placed her cheek on his shoulder, leaning into him, “You’re doing amazing.” 

“ Bren, please.” Astrid’s voice came to him then, her voice more fearfilled than it had been in years. “ He’s going to kill Wulffie.” The use of the old nickname shocked him, it made his heart ache for his friends, for his first loves. “ This was always the mission, just one more thing you have to do.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. She was right, this was what he had been preparing for since he was a child. His hand started to warm against Jester’s back, flames starting to flicker under his skin. One spell and this nightmare was over.

Jester’s breath was warm on his collar bone. He could feel her smiling, her tail curled around his ankle. Though the music carried on, she stopped dancing and Jester took his face in her hands, “I’m so glad I met you, Caleb.”

He couldn’t breathe. All he could smell was smoke. 

Her eyes looked like stars as she smiled. Her lips parted ever so softly. He wanted to kiss her then, to see if her lips would taste of lemonade. Her eyes fell to his lips, gods she was going to kiss him. The fire was so close under his hands. 

She rose onto her toes, “Caleb, can I-” 

Knowing he was nothing but selfish and horrid, he nodded. 

For the briefest moment, her lips brushed his. His heart all but stopped, pressing against his chest and trying to get closer to her. He moved his hands to touch her waist.

Caleb’s hands were hot. Too hot. Fire, it smelled like fire. The flames that brewed under his skin danced along his hands, the hands that were reaching for Jester.

“Jester, get the fuck away from him!” Beau burst through the doors followed by Queen Marion, a stricken look on her face. 

In three quick strides, Beau was beside him. Her bo staff swung in a wide arc, giving him no time to react as it slammed into the side of his head.

He hit the floor, eyes unable to stay open from the pain rocketing through his skull. Jester cried out his name. He forced his eyelids open, he needed to make sure he was okay. She was trying to get to him, but was being restrained by Yasha. 

The last thing he heard was the queen saying, “Bring him to an iron cell.” Her voice was dark and dangerous, like deep water filled with unseen monsters.

Chapter Text

Though she was warned to keep her distance from Caleb, Jester couldn’t do it. She wore a path in her bedroom, worrying her lip between her fingers as her mind raced. Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. The name echoed with every step on the floor. Eventually she couldn’t stand it for one more second.

After Caleb had been taken away, Jester had been all but locked in her room. Come the morning, Marion came in and explained everything: Caleb’s conversations with the Archmage, his plot to kill Beau. 

Jester didn’t know what to think. Her heart was torn clean in two. Had he been manipulating her the whole time? Making her fall for him just to get close, to hurt her and Beau and her mother? The answers she needed could only come from one person.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Yasha asked softly. With Yasha as her shadow, Jester descended into the depths of the castle to the dungeon.  

Jester swallowed thickly, “I don’t know. But I need to see him.” 

The dungeons were almost never used. They were a relic from years ago, left to dust until then. When they finally arrived at the very bottom of the castle, Jester was more than a little intimidated. Caleb’s cell was guarded by a dozen soldiers, all of whom watched Jester carefully as Yasha led her forward. 

It was silent. The iron cells were designed to hold magic users, runes lined the bars. 

Jester paused in the hallway, pressing her hands to her stomach to quell her nerves. What if he was suddenly a Volstrucker again, full of malice and venom? How the fuck would she be able to rationalize that with the Caleb that she kissed the day before?

Yasha put a gentle hand on her shoulder, “I’m right here, it’s alright.”

Jester took a deep breath. She nodded. And stepped in front of the bars.

The cell was fairly small, there was a bed with a pile of blankets and a few pillows. It took her a second to find Caleb. He was pressed into the farthest corner, sitting on the floor with his knees curled to his chest. His head was ducked down so all she could see was his mop of red hair. He still wore his outfit from the ball, though it was a bit dirtier. 

She crouched down and touched the bars, “Caleb?” His head snapped up. There was a terrified look in his eyes, like a wild animal. She tried to smile. “Hi.”

“Jester.” The way her name rolled off his tongue was almost like a prayer, breathless. “Why-why are you here?”

She shrugged, “I needed to see you. Are you alright? Did anyone hurt you?”

He touched his head where she could see a knot where Beau hit him, “Not more than I deserved.”  Her heart clenched at this new side of Caleb she was seeing. He looked back down, “You shouldn’t be here, Jester.”

“I think you owe me some answers,” she told him, trying to affect her mother’s commanding voice. And when it didn’t work, “Please.”

He looked at her for a long moment. “As you wish.” He stood up and walked over to her. Several of the guards drew their weapons, but Jester turned her head to glare at them. Caleb sat down on the ground in front of her. His fingers played with the folds of his pants. “Ask me whatever you want, I will answer honestly.”

Though she had been thinking of this moment for hours, she still had no idea what to ask. So Jester said the first thing she thought of. “The things you told me about your parents, was it real?”

Caleb nodded. “Every word. There were things I left out, but everything you know about them is the truth.”

Her head lilted to the side. “And the things I know about you?”

He flinched, “I don’t know. I-I thought I knew who I was. Then I came here and…and everything changed. I didn’t know who I was anymore, I still don’t know who I am. I was not born with the name Caleb. Before I arrived in Nicodranas, my name was Bren. When your mother gave me the chance to be called anything…I took it. I’m still not sure why. I’m not Bren anymore.”

“You’re not.” Jester smiled sadly, “You’re Caleb, you’re my Caleb.” Caleb’s breath caught in his throat. She looked away from him, too embarrassed by what she was about to say. “I fell in love with you. Was that on purpose? Did you-”

“No.” Caleb cut her off. When she met his eyes again, they were filled with fire. He moved towards the bars, sitting on his knees. “Please, you have to believe me. I didn’t-I didn’t expect for that to happen. I came here to-to hurt you and I…I couldn’t because you…” He took a stuttering breath. “You are everything .”

“Say it,” she urged. “Say you love me.” She knew he did. She could hear it in his voice, could see it in the dilation of his eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t because I will be put to death for what I’ve done and I almost killed you and-”

Jester reached through the bars and touched his cheek. Immediately, every guard was moving towards them, but Yasha got in the way, growling at them to give her space. Caleb squeezed his eyes shut as though her touch pained him.

“Say it anyway.”

Tears welled in Caleb’s, but he did as she asked. “I love you.” His voice broke.

Jester smiled. Her hand drifted from his cheek down to his hand, having to lean through the bars. “I won’t let you die, Caleb. I’ll talk to my mother, I’ll make her listen and give you a chance.”

Caleb sobbed, leaning forward so his head rested against the iron, “I don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t care.” She squeezed his hand again and then pulled back. “I’ll be back, I promise.”

Jester took a deep breath before knocking on the door to her mother’s chambers. When she was beckoned inside, Jester slipped inside. She found the queen sitting on the sofa before the fireplace, papers spread out on the table in front of her. Gold glasses were perched on her nose. When she saw Jester, she smiled softly. 

“Sapphire, aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

Jester ignored the question. She loved her mother very much, but sometimes she still treated her like a child. Tonight she needed to be seen as an adult. Jester walked over and remained standing and hands folded serenely in front of herself.

“What’s going to happen to Caleb?” Jester asked.

Marion’s posture shifted. “I’m not sure yet. Bluud and Beau want him dead. I still think there’s information we can get from him, but he almost killed you.” Marion took off her glasses and set them on the table. “It’s still being discussed.”

“Mama, I-” She cut herself off and started over. “You gave Caleb so many chances. You believed in him so much. Do you still believe that he can be good?”

Marion’s eyes closed for a long moment. “My love, you want the truest answer I can offer?” Jester nodded. “Any trust or care I had for him died when I saw his hands light with fire, attempting to burn my only child.”

Jester struggled to keep her emotions in check. It was a fight not to raise her voice. She took a deep breath, counted to three, and replied. “I went to see Caleb today. And I believe everything he told me. He was abused, Mama, he was manipulated and taken advantage of.” She moved to Marion and knelt beside her, taking her hands in hers. “He didn’t hurt me, Mama. He never wanted to. And because he didn’t, he forsook the Empire. If he doesn’t belong with us, then he doesn’t belong anywhere. You were the one that told me to get through to him, to break the programming. I did that. He is my friend and-and maybe more than that.” Marion’s eyes widened in shock. 

Jester pushed forward, “Don’t abandon him just because things are hard, just because he’s trying to figure out where he belongs and what to do. Give him a chance, Mama. If not for him, then for me.”

Marion touched her cheek softly, “When did you get so grown up, sapphire?”

Jester tried not to cry, “I have been the whole time, you just didn’t see it until now.” Marion looked away in shame. “Will you talk with him, let him explain?”

Marion took a deep breath, “I will.” And she leaned down to kiss Jester’s forehead. 

When Caleb was led into the room, only her mother’s hand on her arm stopped Jester from running to him. He looked worse than he did the day before. The sleeves of his shirt had stains of blood, they were harshly cut to show bandages wrapped around his forearms. 

When she saw them, she couldn’t hold herself back any more. She rounded the table, “Caleb, what happened? Did someone hurt you?”

“Nein,” he didn’t meet her eyes, “I…I did it to myself.”

Jester reached out to touch him, but Beau pulled her back, “Jester, don’t-” Jester wanted to argue, but she knew that would only make things more difficult. She let Beau pull her away from Caleb as Yasha gently nudged Caleb to sit in the chair on the other side of the table. 

Even being near Caleb, Jester could feel the iron on his manacles suppressing her own magic. Jester took her place beside her mother. 

Marion leaned towards the volstrucker, “Caleb, I’ve told you that I want to believe you are a good man. I believed you were until you nearly killed my daughter.” Caleb flinched. “Start from the beginning, explain to me why I should not kill you.”

“Mama-”

Marion held up her hand, “Jester, the time for kindness is over.” Then to Caleb, “We let you roam free for too long, knowing you were feeding information back to your master. Tell me why.”

Caleb swallowed thickly and lifted his eyes. But he didn’t look at Marion, no, his eyes met Jester’s and they didn’t waver as he began to speak. “I was eight years old when I was recruited to the academy. It was there that I was…made into a scourger. Along with two of my childhood friends, I became a soldier. I-I thought I was following in my father’s footsteps, serving the Empire.” His hands clenched into fists.

“The first time I killed someone, I was eleven.” Jester brought a hand to her mouth, trying to cover her noise of shock. His eyes flashed to her and look of shame crossed his face. “When you become a Volstrucker, everything is taken from you. By the time I was eighteen, I had been convinced that-that my parents were traitors to the Empire. It is only since being here that I realized that my parents were good people, they loved me and yet…”

He inhaled sharply and looked down at his lap, “And yet, I killed them. I burned them alive and when I heard them scream, I was proud .”

Jester couldn’t stop herself from going to Caleb then. She rounded the table and knelt beside him, taking his manacled hands hers. With eyes full of tears, she told him, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Jester…”

She lifted a hand to his cheek and ran her thumb under his eye. He leaned into her hand, eyes falling closed as a tear fell. With soft conviction, she told him, “You were brainwashed. You don’t have to be that person anymore. You’re safe here.”

He shook his head, “They’re coming. The Volstruckers are going to come to kill me, to kill everyone. And Astrid and Eadwulf-” He sobbed. “He killed them. It-it was you or them and I-I couldn’t hurt you, please believe me, Jester. I couldn’t-”

She pulled him down towards her, hugging him close. With his hands bound, he couldn’t return the embrace, but he leaned into her. She gripped the back of his shirt as though it might keep him from sinking into his mind, from losing himself to guilt and pain. 

As she held him, she heard the others talking above them. “Did you hear what he said?” Beau hissed. “More Volstruckers. Your majesty, our soldiers aren’t prepared, we can’t stand up against them.”

“We will have to,” Marion said darkly. “Caleb, I need to know, will it be an army?”

Caleb sat back up and shook his head, “My master will come along with five Volstruckers. But even six mages…they can cause more destruction than you could imagine. They can take any face they wish, they can summon powers of other planes, they can make you forget why you’re fighting in the first place.”

Beau walked over and leaned towards him, “You know how they fight. If you’re really on our side, tell us how to beat them.”

Caleb looked down at Jester, still kneeling at his side. She smiled up at him and gave him an encouraging nod. Caleb looked back at Jester, “I will tell you what I can. They will be here any time, any day. They may already be in the castle.”

Beau pulled up a chair, turning it around to sit backwards, “Then you better talk. Fast.”

As Caleb began to talk, Jester moved her chair to sit beside him. She held onto his hands the entire time. Every now and then, she glanced at her mother. Marion’s lips were pursed, eyes flicking between Caleb’s face and their joined hands. To her surprise, Jester felt something sour in her mouth. For the first time in her life, she felt something other than love towards her mother.