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There was a time Tech didn't dream. Where he simply blinked, tucked up tight under the cover of dark, his brother's blankets and arms, and opened his eyes to find they were moving again for training.
There was a time where reality and his subconscious had a strict and identifiable divide. Where Tech was tethered to one or the other by noticeable difference. There was a time, when he was not afraid to shut his eyes.
No one else was sure why they started. Maybe it was because of the stress of their lives, stress of the training, of the bullies that tormented and hurt them, or maybe it was one too many tests that scrambled his cranial activity.
Tech didn't know, really, he was never to know. All he understood, at his young age when the terrors began, was they were vivid. As clear as a memory, as a recording he was snapping to save for later inspection.
The dreams- they felt real. They looked, heard, smelt real.
He wasn't sure when he had even memorised the scent of a corpse until he was four standard years old, vomiting into the fresher until he was so sure some of his own organs had spilled past his lips.
Tech understood this was loosely connected to the result of the emotional turmoil stemming from their abusive conditions under the Kaminoan's. That was the only explanation, even if he didn't like it. He saw it everywhere.
He saw it in many regs who had returned home after so long away. He saw it in the subjects that did not leave the labs- subjects he was not meant to discuss.
He saw it in the shiny's who cried quietly with relief as they finally made it to graduation. He saw it in the ones that didn't make it that far.
He saw it in his own brothers, the build up of pressure because of their lives releasing in different, subtle ways.
Tech wished, even if he sounded so selfish, that his mind had chosen another way to compute what he lived through.
He drempt of his brothers, often. Of them dying, of them being lost. He drempt of the Kaminoan's coming to take them away, and him being left alone until he felt brave enough to search after them in the winding, horrible halls.
He drempt of them floating. In tubes of green, disconnected from their bodies, bits of them still strung by muscle. He drempt of each and every "what if" he was told never to worry about.
He drempt of their potential reality.
Tech commended his siblings for trying, truly he did. They would sit by his side as he wept, shook and heaved after each acidic swallow.
They did not ask, after the first time- where Tech had so selfishly spilled every gruesome detail of Hunter's demise to his face.
He had turned pale, himself, and ushered Tech towards their more tactile brother to sob into himself, fist pushed into his mouth as he bit down his choked, hitched sniffling.
He had told Tech later it was because he felt guilty. He had confessed he was torn because he could not help the nightmares go away. Nothing could.
Tech knew this. Hearing it did not make him feel better.
As he grew, and as he joined the war, because of all that they had needed to do, all that was required, Tech did not sleep.
He hadn't allowed himself the opportunity to, even when one of his brother's so softly offered, Tech didn't think he had the time, or the will to.
When he finally found himself dozing off during their time anchored back to Kamino, the things he had not had the time to process during their deployment came back.
Crosshair had held him down as he shrieked and kicked, apparently. Tech wasn't ever sure if this was true, because he was still dreaming, and his older brothers didn't want him to know.
He did often find, that if his brothers were not standing over him and clutching him tight when he woke screaming, he would ache. Bruises would appear in the strangest of places, with scrapes following.
He found he didn't like sleeping. He didn't like what would follow. So he stopped- stayed stubbornly awake until he slept so deeply he didn't register or remember what he had dreamed of.
He had heard Wrecker one night, during his endless shift, sniffling because despite his efforts, his brothers could still hear him crying as he slept.
No one knew what he saw- and he couldn't reassure them that he couldn't, either. It opened up a conversation he didn't want to have.
The more they saw, the worst his dreams became.
Tech grew to despise his incredible mind, his impeccable memory. His attention to detail became his downfall, and he wanted nothing more than to smash his head against something- anything, just to maybe stop it.
Long before meeting Echo, Tech had adapted. He no longer puked after every dream. He didn't need his brothers to know, to stay with him until he exhausted himself again. He could handle his own turmoil, and allow his brothers to handle theirs.
Introducing Echo to their routine was... embarrassing. It was downright shameful, the way his brothers worried and fretted over as Echo was awkwardly integrated into their sleeping and waking lives.
Hunter didn't want the ARC to know about Tech's nightmares. Crosshair threatened to kill him if he ever said what word about it. Wrecker openly encouraged the honesty of confessing.
It was a dilemma that Tech should have had a bigger part in, but he firmly avoided. He was ashamed enough knowing one day Echo would have to see him in such a state, his brothers well-placed concern only made his ears burn and dodging the ARC a higher priority.
He had asked, once, for Tech to sleep. It was the middle of his second watch of the night, and when he had politely declined, Echo folded his arms, thoroughly unimpressed.
"It's time for switch-over," He stressed slightly. "I know you don't think I can because I'm new and all, and it's your ship- but Hunter said it was time I pulled my weight."
"I believe you do that enough already," Tech shrugged, indifferent. "But as Hunter will tell you tomorrow, I always take multiple shifts through the night. It is normal—"
"You look tired." Echo frowned. "Please, vodiʻka, get some sleep. You need it."
Tech sighed. "And I need you to stop pushing," He muttered. "I will be fine."
Echo pushed until Tech had rather rudely shut him out of the cockpit. He got some withering looks from the ARC the next morning, but nothing of real note.
It was when they were once again anchored to Kamino, with nothing else to fill his attention and time, that Tech had drifted off to sleep.
Hunter was accompanying Wrecker to the mess for some snacks for Crosshair, who was stuck in the medbay for an accident out on the field. Tech and Echo were left at the barracks.
Echo was in a doze on his hammock, and Tech had finally fallen asleep sitting up on his own cot.
The ARC stirred when he heard it first. It sounded distinctly human, so small he nearly missed it. He blinked awake and froze slightly.
Someone was tossing and turning in their bunk. He turned, gaze glassy with sleep as he peered around the dark room.
His eyes settled on a lump in the cot closer to the fresher, and he frowned, keeping low as the struggling continued underneath the comforter.
His hand patted around for the blaster he always kept under his pillow as the lump shifted and fell from the sheets. Echo froze up completely, hand stilling.
Tech had thrown himself from the cot, sweaty and pale as he scrambled to pick himself up. He looked lost, like he didn't know where he was anymore as he panted.
Echo thought he had missed it, but he heard one wobbly sob as Tech's being tensed and lurched, vomit spewing onto the floor as he coughed and wheezed.
Swearing, Echo stood, stumbling over. His legs hammered on the floor of the barracks, and mid puke, Tech stopped.
"Vodiʻka–?" Echo kept his voice level as Tech shook harder. "What's going on, are you–?"
Tech cut him off with a shriek, pushing himself away and slipping on the puddle of their last meal as he fought to create distance.
"Tech-" Echo followed, footsteps slow and deliberate as his younger brother backed himself into a corner, heaving.
"Vodiʻka, it's Echo," The ARC knelt on front of him. "You're okay, you're at your barracks–"
Tech smothered his next sound with his knees as his head slammed into the armour still attached to him. Echo winced at the crack of his skull against the plastoid.
"Stop–" He begged softly, using his hand to try cushion his head as he repeatedly went to slam against the armour. "You're hurting yourself. It's okay—"
Echo winced as his hands, previously clenching and releasing until his fingers popped, reached his his sweaty hair and tugged harshly.
One hand was gripping his hair so tight his knuckles paled, and the other hit against the top of his head, the dull sound of a glove against skin sounding much louder to Echo.
He caught the low whisperings of his younger brother as the hand moved faster, harder, smacking his head until Echo tried to catch it.
"Not what– happened, not what happened–" Tech's sniffles turned to sobs again. "Not dead, it didn't happen like that– I- no—"
He took a shuttering breath, and shifted closer. "Tech," He started gently, but firmly as his younger brother's body stilled at the sound. "You're okay, you're on Kamino, you're with me, you're safe."
Tech let out a shuddered breath, and his hand stopped hitting, instead resting tiredly on top of his head, and it didn't twitch as Echo grasped it gently, feeling his racing pulse under his fingers.
"You were asleep," Echo assured softly. "It was a bad dream. Nothing else, okay? Everyone's okay."
He nudged the other hand away with his scomp, and shuffled until he could comfortably meet Tech's eyes.
There was a spark of recognition as his eyes lit up, still shedding tears. Echo smiled warmly.
"Hey, vodiʻka, you with me?" He asked softly. Tech nodded jerkily. "Good, that's good- can you let me clean you up?"
Tech swallowed, and his breath hitched, the colour that had steadily come back into his face draining in and instant and his mouth fell open.
Echo barely jerked away in time as Tech gagged once before he vomited again, choking on it as his hands moved to grasp at his sore throat.
"Easy, easy," The ARC rubbed his back, holding his brothers shaking body up as he coughed harshly. "Let it out, you're alright–"
"It's not–" Tech whined, cheeks burning with shame now as he finally stopped puking. He hung limply in Echo's arms. "M'sorry, 'cho, weren't meant to see–"
"Hey." The ARC interrupted, squeezing briefly as he stood them both up. "None of that, vodiʻka, it's okay. It happens."
He took them to the fresher, where he let Tech clean himself down as he went to handle the vomit stained floors.
By the time he was out again, Tech had stopped crying, rubbing absentmindedly at his eyes as he swayed forward into Echo's waiting arms.
"Let's get you to bed," Echo encouraged, leading his younger brother away. Tech followed, but froze at the cot.
Echo noticed and squeezed again. "I'm not going anywhere," He assured. "I'll stay until you fall asleep again."
They were safely settled under the cot when Echo whispered, "Do you want to talk about your dream?" into the dark of their barracks.
Tech shook his head insistently. "Okay," The ARC mumbled. "Don't have to. Just relax, okay?"
Tech nodded, and though he did not fall back asleep, he felt better rested once it was time to move again, with Echo holding him close.
His brother's didn't mention it. No one did. Tech continued to pretend he wasn't plagued by the dreams until he couldn't. He only felt partially guilty with every occasion that Echo was the one who was there for him.
Echo's hand was wrapped tight around his blaster under his hammock, one faithful night, long after training and experiments had worn his younger brothers out.
Hunter was curled up so tight under Wrecker's arm it was a miracle he could breathe. Crosshair was hiding it out in the fresher tonight, the walls in there thicker, more private as he delt with the stress of the day.
Echo wasn't asleep, just staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of Wrecker's snores and Tech's hitched breathing.
He gripped the blaster tighter initially, listening to Tech wither and groan until he let out a sharp gasp. He waited a beat, but relaxed a bit when he didn't hear the telltale signs of his younger brother fighting vomit.
He did, however, sob. Echo was about to move, settling into the routine of going to Tech, as they all did, only to hear his younger brother stumble across the room, feet padding on the tile.
Echo blinked when an even darker shadow crossed over him, and shaking hands clasped his arm.
"'Cho?" Tech's voice wobbled dangerously. "Are- are you awake?"
His younger brother's whisper shattered his old and torn heart.
"M'up," He assured, letting his hand slip from his blaster and settling where he had long learned Tech's face to be, aided by the glow of his ref light. "What's wrong, vodiʻka?"
"I—" The embarrassment was still there, in the way he squirmed, but as Echo's eyes adjusted, he could see that in the red light, his face was pale and sweat soaked. "—bad dream. Can- can I stay?"
Echo smiled softly. "'Course, vodiʻka," He opened his arms, pulling his brother down into the hammock. "Let's get comfortable, yeah?"
Tech greedily curled into his older brother's side. "Thank—" He began, shaky as he trembled in Echo's side.
"No," He whispered, pressing a kiss to his brothers head. "Don't thank me, vodiʻka, I'm always here."
Tech melted into his side. "You gonna be okay to sleep?" He asked softly. "Or do you wanna tell me about something?"
Slowly, Tech began to whisper to him. Explaining things Echo couldn't begin to understand. What he did know, was that the longer his little brother talked, the heavier his eyes became, until soon, he was fast asleep again.
He was snoring softly, pressed into Echo's side. His hands clutched at his sleep shirt, and he no longer felt hot to the touch. The ARC smiled gently, rocking them as he prepared to stay awake, keeping watch.
When he had dozed off, he felt a bit awful for how he reacted when Hunter came to check on them.
The sergeant had gently shook them, but the sound of Tech's shaky breath had sent Echo's half awake mind into overdrive. His hand had moved without thinking, drawing his hidden blaster.
"Woah-!" Hunter gasped sharply, taking a step back as he raised his hands. "Kark, Echo, it's just me-!"
Echo froze, having moved to shield his youngest brother with his body as he pointed his blaster at Hunter's head.
"Sorry," He grunted, voice still scratchy with sleep. "You scared me."
"I can see that." Hunter chuckled good-naturedly. "It's uh- time to get up."
"'Kay," Echo sighed, tucking his blaster back under his pillow. Hunter walked away, giving Crosshair a look before the other two shuffled back away to what they were doing.
Tech squirmed under him until Echo let him go. "How're you feeling now?" He asked.
"Better," Tech assured softly. "Thank you, Echo."
The ARC smiled. "Anytime, vodiʻka," He promised.
Tech yawned as he walked away, rubbing at his eyes while he greeted Wrecker, unusually tactile this morning. Echo smiled and followed.
The dreams did not stop, did not lessen. Tech, still, he now found he felt less alone than before.