Chapter Text
One of the main rules of life was that you couldn’t live without tipping on somebody’s toe.
Life was built upon conflict, upon ongoing explosions. If that stopped it wasn’t life anymore it was death.
Raven knew this rule and lived by it, but she would’ve never thought that a simple cheesy holiday song would’ve started such an explosion.
She just had sat in the ‘radio station’ –the quotation marks applied because it was a university radio station and although the university was big the radio station was less so. It was also undermanned and most of the equipment was either broken or Raven had fixed it when she had been bored, but that was a story for another day.
She had just sat there. It was almost eleven o’clock at night just like usual.
Monty had sat across from her finishing a philosophy paper, or maybe it was biology. She hadn’t asked.
Clarke next to her was going through a presentation and Raven played the willing listener. In the background played some pop music they had turned on.
Their ‘show’ –the quotation marks applied because it didn’t even have a real name and mostly was founded because they all had time and Clarke had liked the way it looked on her resume. (Monty and Raven liked it too but way more privately)- consisted mostly out of their different music tastes. Clarke and Raven preferred pop and rock. Monty added a bit of hip hop. Sometimes they added a small rant about university or politics. But only Clarke talked Raven never felt like it and Monty rather smoked a joint before ranting.
They were almost through with the show, when Monty looked at his mobile phone. He furrowed his brows and then almost got white. Raven only saw it because Clarke’s presentation was boring at least the twentieth time around.
“Guys. It’s the first Sunday of Advent.”
Raven didn’t really understand why he looked this shocked. In her life it wasn’t something important to remember. So what?
She had almost made a comment, when she had thought a thought, she shouldn’t have thought. It was a bad habit of hers, really.
But Finn had popped into her mind like a ghost and the smile on her face had become stale and sad.
Clarke next to her laughed at Monty’s expression and teased him. Was he frightened so much, because he had forgotten to call his mother? Monty replied that it wasn’t as funny as Clarke made it out to be.
Their banter gave Raven time to get a grip, but it didn’t really work. Instead her mind was suddenly preoccupied by Finn. His eyes, his smile.
Christmas had always been about Finn in her mind.
She remembered that year when her mother had this huge relapse during the eight days of Chanukah. Helpless she had knocked on the Collins’ door. They had let her in with a smile and without a question and in cooperated her into the big Christmas cookie back off.
It was only naturally to think of Finn when it came to Christmas, she told herself. It just made her realize that it would be strange this year without a fake celebrating it with the whole Collins family.
Apparently Clarke and Monty had settled their banter focussing on her, which was bad.
Their concerned looks made it even worse. Raven looked away and tried to look neutral again. Neither Monty nor Clarke said a word. Raven hoped that it would stay that way, she wasn’t prepared for what might happen if they started to say something nice.
But still the silence was awful to, especially because it wasn’t really quiet. Spice Girls Wannabe played in the background, which gave a horrible offish vibe into the whole tense non communication.
Suddenly Clarke clicked her presentation about Dali away and scrolled through the music archive.
Raven didn’t know what she was doing. Monty looked curious too.
When Wannabe started to fade out, she turned on the mic and began to speak. Clarke’s voice husky and low. It sent shivers down her spine and it didn’t help that Clarke looked right at her and gave her a small grin.
“We interrupt our session because we now only realised that it’s the first Sunday in Advent. Not that we care or want to wish you anything but the usual, the strength to endure this semester and this stressful time”.
Clarke could sometimes talk as if she was reading words from a paper. As usual Raven was impressed and when Clarke gave her another glance and a wider grin, she had to grin back.
“We only wanted to point out that this is the beginning of a great time, maybe the only time to play bad cheesy Christmas song. So without further ado for our pleasure and hopefully also for yours. This little gem”.
A faint melody started playing that Raven somehow knew but still couldn’t name. Monty opposite to her rolled his eyes but laughed. When the faint ahhh of the man started it made click. Half annoyed half amused she looked at Clarke who moved her head slightly to the beat. She moved her lips to the lyrics and made it look seductively. Raven tried to not fall for it, although she had already started to smile and nod her head along.
“Really?”, she asked Clarke, but the other girl had already slung an arm around Raven humming contently.
Raven joined in. Giving one of the worst lip sync performances of Last Christmas but by far one of the happier ones.
She slung her arm around Clarke’s waist and managed to forget Finn.
At least for a while.
//
“Christmas is not anymore a Christian tradition, but a capitalist one”, the dark low voice concluded after summarizing almost everything in what had felt like half an hour but was probably only five minutes.
Raven tried not to burst into laughter. Not that his thesis wasn’t serious or sincere. He even sounded like he had thought about his points, which made it actually more hilarious if she was being honest, but it had been a long day of university and she had actually wanted to skip the radio show meeting in favour for pizza and homework, but Clarke had urged her to come and so she stood there again in front of Clarke’s laptop. Now listening to the recording of another radio show of the university radio. Raven had forgotten which.
But it wasn’t really important. In the beginning she had listened with some interest. It was after all a very nice voice that talked, very low and husky. She imagined a big buff guy with a nice smile and beard, but when she had comprehended what he was saying her image shifted towards a white guy with dreads and a Che Guevara t-shirt like the ones at the cafeteria who always tried to talk about their lord and saviour communism or something.
Yikes.
Tired of the guy’s tirade she looked to Clarke who was using her coffee cup to warm her hands. Monty still seemed to listen but with some disdain. Maybe he was also high, who knew.
“How long is this going?”; she asked casually crossing the small room to get herself a cup of coffee too needing something hot to drink.
“About ten more minutes”, Clarke informed her nipping on her cup. She had a strange ten yard stare and Raven noted the dark circles around her eyes. She was probably also stressed.
“No offence, but what is his problem?”
Clarke raised her shoulders. “Don’t ask me. If I knew what was going on in Bellamy Blake’s head I would’ve probably already used it against him at some point. He’s such a prick”.
Raven raised her eyebrows and added milk to her coffee. “Bellamy Blake?”
“Yeah, that’s him”. It took a moment of silence for Clarke to get that Raven didn’t know who she was talking about. She shook of her ten yard stare off and placed her cup on the table. “You know the guy in the big meetings who always has to start a fight”.
Raven waited till Clarke remembered that she never had attended such a meeting, mostly due to the fact that she had started working at the station only this semester, but also because she didn’t care.
Clarke got the hint and smiled. “Well, he’s an asshole I’m not that surprised”.
Raven chuckled. “I always thought you were the one to pick fights”.
“She is”, Monty stated in the back. Clarke looked almost offended, but also a little bit pleased.
“Bellamy is starting it!” Monty didn’t look as if he believed that but said nothing else.
Clarke sighed. “You will probably meet him at the Christmas party anyway, so no pressure”.
Raven looked to the laptop. Bellamy Blake was still ranting. “You think he’ll go?”, she asked with a grin. Clarke nodded. “He went last year. He just likes to be an asshole and also annoy me to death”.
Clarke sometimes could be very dramatic. Even Monty wasn’t convinced. He sighed and looked at the laptop as if he had forgotten the sound. “You really think this is about you?”, he asked, “or us?” Raven gave him a winning grin. It was good to sometimes poke at Clarke’s ego, when it gotten a little bit too big, but this time it didn’t work.
“Yep”, she simply stated, “Wells told me”. And after a confused stare of Raven she added, “he’s making the show with Bellamy and Miller”.
That took Raven by surprise. Wells was she would say the oldest and probably closest friend Clarke had. A young black man with a smile and a snarky word, but his heart on the right side. He studied law just like his father he had told her. She sometimes thought he would’ve been happier in philosophy, but didn’t make a comment about it.
This sweet sophisticated boy didn’t fit the Che Guevare shirt wearing asshole guy as a radio host partner. If she would’ve cared she would’ve probably asked further, but now she just ignored that strange contradiction in her head and watched as Monty raised his eyebrows still in disbelief.
“Bellamy Blake listens to our show?”
He sounded like Bellamy Blake probably didn’t like fun. Clarke wasn’t sure. “Miller apparently does and of course Wells”.
Monty raised his eyebrows even wider. “Miller listens to our show?”, his voice was almost not calm. He looked a little bit afraid. Maybe Raven thought that she should care more and attend meetings, she seemed to have missed something. Clarke only smirked. “Apparently”.
It was quiet for a while. Bellamy Blake was at the end of his tirade, or so Raven hoped.
“And with this I will make a promise”, he stated. Clarke’s eyes lightened up and she moved to the laptop turning up the volume. They all gathered around it. “We here on this show promise”, Bellamy said and he sounded so sincere that it was really hard not to start laughing, “that you won’t hear one Christmas song during the cause of our show”.
It was official Bellamy Blake was a drama queen. She hadn’t even made him yet and still Raven believed that to be true. Did he really go into a twenty minute rant about capitalism during Christmas just to end with that?
“I hope you’re having a great time”, he added. Finally a song that sounded like a lot of banging pots started playing. Clarke stopped there and turned to them grinning.
It was this mischievous ‘I have the plan to rule the world’-grin and Raven asked herself what she was going to curse Bellamy for next.
Monty was clueless yet careful. “What do you want?”, he asked Clarke a little bit blunt. Clarke’s grin grew wider. “Great that you asked”. They were doomed. “I thought when Bellamy is not going to include any Christmas songs on his show. We need to restore the balance…”
Oh she was totally going to curse Bellamy for that. “So what do you guys think of playing only Christmas songs till the end of the year?”
Stunned silence. Raven and Monty exchanged a glance.
“Okay, how hot is he?”, Raven finally asked.
Clarke seemed genuinely surprised by that question. She raised her hands. “Nah”.
That wasn’t really an answer and apparently also one that Monty didn’t agree with.
Clarke took her coffee cup back in hand. “It’s going to be fun”, she said like the suburban mom trying to force her children to eat vegetables. The children didn’t buy it, but didn’t want to make a debate out of it.
Monty sighed. “Okay- That is not a yes”, he added at Clarke’s happy glance, “but what is your plan?”
That was almost like saying yes or it was hard to say no now. They were doomed and now she had to curse Monty too and there she had thought Monty was holy.
“Well we have three hours every week and we fill them with different Christmas songs, or holiday songs that are winter themed”. Raven snorted. “I think that will be fairly easy, the only rule I would set is that we won’t repeat songs. Every hour new Christmas songs even rare ones”.
Monty thought about it. “Do covers count as repetitions?”, he asked casually and Raven knew that if she wanted to go against this plan she had to go against him too.
Clarke thought about it and then shook her head. “Nah, covers are fine”. Her eyes fell on Raven. She still waited for her opinion. Raven didn’t know if she was willing to give it. “No ‘All I want for Christmas’ though”, Clarke added, “I am really sick and tired of that song”.