Work Text:
The ghosts have been with me since the house. I had seen them before, ever since I was a girl, shadows that moved without casting, trees with breathing chests, wisps of hands holding up the sick. The ghosts never speak, but sometimes, if I am very quiet, I hear music when they’re near.
When I was little assumed for years they were normal to see, perhaps the spirits of ancestors taking a rest from their little statue homes. To this day, I do not know if I was alone in seeing them or if everyone did.
I never saw so many as I did at the house. Once I was disowned, once I was alone with my husband and Suzuki, I saw them all around. A table would have no legs for a day, only hover a few feet up, and I would know the ghosts held it up. A platter would come to me in bed, and I knew the ghosts brought it. My husband never saw them. He was the only one I ever asked.
When my son, my beautiful son, was born, he was surrounded by ghosts. They flanked him like guardians. I saw him playing with himself once, in the garden, but I knew it was the ghosts he spoke to. When he was a baby, and I had no help from my far-off husband in caring for him, the ghosts picked up mine and Suzuki’s slack. They carried him to bed when I was too tired, and brought me little things for him. They are not cruel, nor dangerous, but I had the fear in my when I saw how they flanked him. I feared he was marked for an early grave.
I know now it was I. It helped, I think, to know he would be looked after by someone from home once I was gone. The ghosts, I know, would not abandon him for something as trivial to the dead as an ocean to cross.
When I drew my knife, I was alone. The ghosts did not steady my hand.
When I died, I heard their music.
When I was dead, they came to me again, shadows. They had hands of clean water that washed away the blood, and they embraced me. Three of them came to me and took my hand. I knew they were the guards of my son. They led me to him, my beautiful son, and allowed me to lift him up as I always did.
The music is beautiful, and I am free.