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When Shoko first saw Gojo Satoru, she thought it was going to be difficult.
He was loud, arrogant and tried to be funny, but it only made him look awkward. Shoko was smoking another cigarette next to him and only listening to him yapping about whatever. Fortunately, he had such a big ego that he did not expect an answer from her. She wasn't bored, more amused by the whole situation.
"By the way, what technique do you use?" Gojo asked suddenly. Their teacher already told them , clearly he did not listen when they met.
"Reverse Cursed Technique."
"What? Really? Awesome, I've always wanted to learn it, but so far I've been unsuccessful," he smiled disarmingly."Maybe someday you can show me how you do it?"
“If you insist,” Shoko finished smoking and threw the cigarette butt in the trash. Gojo smiled at her in a rather strange way.
“I wonder what technique this guy who's coming tomorrow uses,” Gojo suddenly changed the subject.
Yeah, the third one. There will be another student who did not come that day because he missed his only train to Tokyo, so they will meet him tomorrow. All she knew about him was that his name was Suguru Geto. She would see if he was more or less annoying than Gojo. But she didn't have any expectations, knowing her luck he would probably be even worse.
"We’ll see when he gets here, ," Shoko wanted to end the conversation and go to her room. She was tired of Gojo, but he didn't want to leave her.
“Now why don't you try and show me your technique?” Gojo was still processing her skills. "I know you were using it, I saw it.” She looked at him in surprise, not understanding what he was talking about.
"My eyes, I can see the flow of energy very clearly. So I know you used it after you smoked a cigarette."
Of course, his Eyes. He was able to see everything, literally everything. She sighed, probably to get rid of him, she would have to explain it to him. So she started talking about processing negative energy into positive by taking two sources of cursed energy and multiplying them by one other. After the look on his face, she concluded that he didn't quite understand. She tried several times, but every attempt came to nothing, Gojo Satoru did not understand reverse techniques, and she was too tired to listen to him any longer and explain the most obvious things in the world. He was really tiring.
“Look, I don't know how else to tell you this. It just happens, you can practice it, you have to try it yourself." She gathered her things and started walking towards her room. Gojo followed her.
"You’re just making it too difficult on purpose!"
“Look, I can't explain it better to you. I'm tired, maybe we can talk about it tomorrow?" She wanted to let him know that she preferred to be alone now, but he was oblivious. So she only walked towards her room, and he complained over her head. She wanted to laugh at him.
"We'll try again tomorrow, I'm sure I'll make it!"
“Okay,” they stood in front of her door. Did he want to go into her room with her?
"Is this your room? Cool, I'll know where to come later," he smiled, and she felt a little strange. Was this guy hitting on her? She frowned and said nothing. This Gojo was really weird.
"Not in that sense!" He gathered that his intentions were a little bit blurry to her. He blushed, which gave her some satisfaction.
"I... Sorry, it wasn't supposed to sound that weird" he combed a hand through his hair. "Seriously, you don't have to be afraid of me, I'm not a pervert or anything like that" he was red as a tomato. Shoko savored his suffering, she was even grateful that he followed her. His reaction compensated for all his talking.
She smirked, “Good to know, but let me judge it for myself.”
"I... I... you know, seriously, that's not what I meant, I don't even like girls," he looked like he was going to cry. Shoko couldn't help herself and started laughing. Did this guy just come out to her? He was beetroot red. Shoko couldn't stop laughing, and he stood and stared at her with horror in his eyes, which made her laugh even more.
"Huh? What's so funny about that?"
Shoko almost cried trying to calm down. It was only after a while that she caught her breath.“Nothing, nothing,” she finally said, “I believe you won't bother me at night. And now good night," she said, and opened the door. “Tomorrow I'll try to teach you my technique," she said goodbye and locked the room behind her.
She managed to silence Gojo Satoru, so she had some success today.
***
Suguru Geto turned out to be a lot nicer than Gojo, only because he didn't talk so much, and that was already something.
He was rather withdrawn and at first a little nervous about the new school. Gojo immediately launched an attack on him. Shoko tried not to pay attention to them, but it was hard not to hear their discussion when you were sitting next to them.
And it all started with bangs.
“What's with your bangs?” asked Gojo, pointing to Geto's hairstyle.
"Pardon?"
"The bangs, what's the matter with them?"
“What kind of question is that?”
"Normal. I don't have bangs, you do, so I ask why."
"That makes no sense at all."
“They're weird,” said Gojo.
Shoko noted that Geto, too, was already fed up with Gojo, but she wasn't going to help him.
"What's with your glasses?" Geto bit back. He's not so bad after all , Shoko thought.
“I have to wear them to cover my eyes. You know, my Six Eyes, ” Gojo smiled.
What an asshole.
Geto probably didn't know what to answer, but Shoko sensed that his energy was boiling. Interesting.
"Who do you think you are?"
"Me? I am Gojo Satoru, bangs guy.”
"You can't be for real," Geto began to pack. Gojo was still talking about his bangs and asked about the meaning behind them. Shoko refrained from laughing, but it was so difficult.
“Look, dude, I know you think you're the strongest, but we can easily try which one of us is better. Come outside and we'll talk," Geto straightened up and glared at Gojo. The latter began to laugh.
"Relax, bangs guy, I was just asking about your bangs, but if this is such a sensitive topic, I will be happy to take this outside."
So they will fight. Men...
Shoko followed them into the courtyard, where they were already preparing to activate their techniques. She still did not know Geto's technique, because Yaga did not tell them anything about it. She sat on the bleachers and waited for the show.
Suddenly a curse appeared in the middle of the courtyard, but it was strange, its cursed energy mixed with that of Geto.
"What are these tricks, bangs guy?" Gojo asked.
“It's my technique. Cursed Spirit Manipulation," Geto smirked. It was interesting. Gojo did not look nervous, he took off his glasses and focused on the opponent. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the curse attacked, Gojo jumped, but the curse continued to chase him, flying after him, imitating his every move. He tried to maneuver, but the curse, as if mocking him, responded to his every move, which even to Shoko seemed confusing. Gojo tried somehow to escape the curse, but his every move was copied. Geto was smirking. Gojo attacked, but the curse did the same and hit Gojo on the head with all its strength, knocking him to the ground. He lay motionless for a moment. Shoko got up, wanted to run up to him and help him. He must have hit the rock when he fell down. Too bad. But before she got up from the bench, Geto was already with him, he knelt down and began to shake him. “Is everything alright ? Hey?"
Suddenly, Gojo's body shook with laughter. Shoko stood still, the asshole was bluffing. Gojo slowly sat down and looked at Geto, who had a rather nervous expression on his face.
"Cool technique, Bangs. You have to tell me more about it, it seems interesting."
"Are you alright? You hit a rock, I didn't mean to scare you like that," Geto was concerned.
"It's fine, I wanted to scare you a little bit, Bangs." Gojo hit Geto on the shoulder and looked at Shoko, who was approaching them "Shoko! Come, show bangs guy your technique, I hit my head."
Geto still did not look convinced that Gojo was fine, but he didn’t know what to do. Shoko approached them both and knelt on his other side.
“Are you sure you're okay?" Geto asked once again.
“Wait, Shoko will fix me, she's using a reverse curse technique!”
"Really?" Geto was surprised. Why was everyone surprised that she was smart? Shoko rolled her eyes and bent over Gojo, gently uttering incantations. After a while, everything was gone.
“Wow, what a great feeling, you gotta try it,” Gojo turned to Geto, and he helped him up. Shoko also stood up.
"I'd rather not have to heal you..."
“Me neither,” Geto added.
“Okay, Bangs, what's your name? You have a cool technique, so you must have a cool name too," Gojo reached out his hand to Geto. Shoko couldn't believe that this idiot didn't even remember his new friend's name. Geto was just as surprised.
"My name is Geto Suguru."
“Gojo Satoru, nice to meet you,” they shook hands.
"I know," Geto was probably still wondering if Gojo was okay.
"Now that we know each other, we can do something fun, come with me to my room, I'll show you what games I have. You too, Shoko, come on!" Gojo took Geto under his arm and walked towards the school buildings. Geto tried to say something, but Gojo talked over him. Shoko thought they were quite a match, even their cursed energies were complementing each other in some strange way. Interesting.
"Shoko, come on!" Gojo called her.
She followed them because she had nothing better to do.
***
Over the following weeks, she saw how a friendship between Geto and Gojo was born. She did not feel excluded by them in any way, in the end they spent a lot of time together, but at the same time she felt that what was happening between Satoru and Suguru was something else. She wasn't 100% sure yet, but her intuition told her that she was watching the birth of first love. Everything indicated this, and although they did not know it yet, Shoko was already sure of it. She did not intend to enlighten them in any way. Let them figure it out for themselves.
As soon as Geto was not around and Gojo and Shoko were left alone, the girl had to listen to lectures about Suguru. Sugurulogy, as she called it in her mind. Satoru talked constantly and always about the same thing, about Geto, about what they were doing, what Suguru had said, what they were planning. It didn't matter that Shoko was there and heard it too, Gojo had to repeat it to her, probably only because he wanted to say something about Suguru. Shoko smiled and just listened, sometimes she just added some remarks, because she knew that he just wanted to talk, anyway. She accepted it because she felt some strange attachment to Gojo. He was annoying, but at the same time strangely innocent and definitely misunderstood the situation he was in. He did not realize at all that he liked Geto.
At least he knew he was gay, because at the same time Suguru was the one who was confused about his sexuality. Shoko didn't want to label him, but she speculated a little bit about his orientation. All she had to do was observe the way he looked at Satoru as Gojo turned his face the other way. Shoko, who stood next to Suguru, had it all in front of her. Geto stared at Gojo as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world, which was quite funny, considering how big of a moron Satoru was. And yet Suguru could not take his eyes off him. And although he did not talk to her about Gojo in those few moments when Shoko and Geto were alone, Ieiri knew that this silence was speaking for itself. She waited for the right moment, because she understood that someday he would talk to her, and as a good friend, she would just listen to him the way she did with Gojo. She had already planned everything, but she did not intend to help them in any way. If they were such morons without introspection skills – men, then she had no intention of helping them. Let them be confused.
That's what she thought as she stood in the courtyard and listened patiently to Satoru. He, of course, talked about what happened after she left his room last night and went to sleep, and he and Geto were left alone.
“And then he said we kept respawning because of me! But I say it's his fault, because he gave me this jelly bean to eat and it distracted me!"
“Did he put that in your mouth?”
"Well, he handed it to me because I was holding the console, but it was all for nothing, because we lost, and it was game over," Satoru made a disappointed face. Shoko frowned because the story about jelly beans was so obvious. He literally fed him, and this idiot couldn't properly analyze it?
“Anyway, we're playing again tonight, you can come, of course. Suguru went to get sweets," Gojo smiled at her. He always wanted her not to feel rejected, which was quite cute, she had to admit.
She did not feel left out, she just knew that even if she was with them, she would be superfluous there. She accepted this as self-evident. They had only known each other for three months, but it was clear that she and they were separated, and the division was that they were morons in love and she was their friend. It was a strange arrangement.
She smoked a cigarette and said she was coming because she had no excuse anyway. She had no other friends.
***
Their dynamics changed as Shoko became closer to second-year student Utahime. She now had someone to spend time with, not just Geto and Gojo, who lived in their own world anyway. Utahime hated Gojo with all her heart. She couldn't stand him, and unfortunately it was a reciprocal feeling. Shoko was not surprised by it, she sometimes barely endured Satoru herself, but Utahime went to a higher level in her aversion, which sometimes was very funny to Shoko. She gossiped with her about Geto and Gojo, so she confided in her what she thought about their relationship. Utahime said that it was obvious that they were in love with each other, because only they could stand each other. No one else could.
"I really admire you, Shoko, for sticking with them. After one day in their company I want to leave jujutsu society and hide in the countryside.”
"I have no choice, I have to sit with them, but you know how it is, they amuse me," Shoko let out smoke.
Utahime grimaced. She hated the fact that Shoko smoked, and once a week gave her a lecture on "killing herself," but Ieiri continued to smoke anyway. It was compulsive, she couldn't stop. She did not want to give up on something that could easily be called her hobby. She had been smoking since she was 14 when her parents divorced and she was left alone with her mother. At first, it only served to regulate her emotions, but it quickly became a pleasant ritual that really calmed her down. She was also not afraid of "killing herself", because after each cigarette she used her technique. So smoking not only calmed her down, but also allowed her to practice jujutsu.
“Tomorrow, I'm going again on a mission with Mei Mei,” Utahime said suddenly, “I'm a little scared, but I know I have to if I want to finally get the nomination to first grade. I don't like doing it with her, and they send us out together all the time. You know how she is, she always wants to be the best, and that stresses me out ten times more than if I was there with anyone else. Even a mission with Yaga wouldn't stress me out so much," Utahime complained. Shoko understood her, she also felt a strange respect for Mei Mei, and preferred to stay away from her.
“It'll be alright,” she shook Utahime's hand and looked into her eyes. Iori jumped up and smiled hesitantly. “Thanks, Shoko, you're a really good friend,” she leaned forward and hugged Shoko.
Ieiri tried not to burn Utahime's head with her cigarette. “I'm going to set you on fire!”
“And that's why you shouldn't smoke,” Utahime said, stepping away from Shoko.
And the strangest thing was that Ieiri actually felt for the first time in a long time that she should not smoke. If she wasn't doing it right now, Utahime would be hugging her longer, and that was something Shoko needed badly. She quickly put out the cigarette in the ashtray and hugged Utahime.
“It'll be fine, Mei Mei won't eat you,” they looked into each other's eyes, Shoko stroked her hair gently. She thought she could hold her like this all night. They sat close together, but Shoko pulled her down, wanted to hug her all over. She lay down on the bed, and Utahime lay beside her, staring into her eyes. Shoko really wanted to calm her friend.
“You know, Shoko,” Utahime began again, “sometimes I think I'm really weak and unfit to be a sorcerer. I'm trying, I'm doing missions, but I still haven't been promoted to first grade. And then I look at these two idiots, one of whom is a special grade and the other already a first, although he barely started school... It's just unfair. We girls are always treated worse, no matter how hard we try, we very rarely reach the first grade, let alone the special one. There is currently no female sorcerer of this rank except Yuki Tsukumo. You should meet her someday, an amazing girl, graduated from school a year ago. She has ambitions and a strange approach to life, but I admire her. However, I am afraid that I will never be half as good as her, no matter what I do, I still mess up and I do not get the maximum points for missions. I wonder what Mei Mei thinks of me, somehow strangely I care about her opinion," Shoko listened to Utahime and stroked her hair, she knew that her friend needed to talk.
Shoko understood her fears, but she didn't feel them in the same way. She didn't come to jujutsu technical college to be the best, she wanted to become a doctor and treat sorcerers. After school, she planned to go to study medicine and then work in the profession. She did not care about grades or missions, she knew that her skills were invaluable, given that there were so few sorcerers who could use reverse cursed technique on other people. Her abilities would always be useful, so she didn't worry about statistics nor rushed from mission to mission. She just didn't care. She knew, however, that Utahime wanted very much to show everyone that she was worthy, and although Shoko did not fully understand it, she really wanted to support her. So she embraced Utahime, grabbing her with an arm close to her and just stroked her.
“You know how Mei Mei is, she doesn't think about anyone but herself, I don't think she's judging you harshly," Shoko said. “You have never made any glaring mistakes, tomorrow you will certainly manage, it will be fine, and when you return from the mission, we will do something together. We can go shopping or go to the cinema," Utahime did not answer, but gently leaned in her direction, their faces were very close to each other, almost touching.
"Shoko?"
"Yes?"
“If I kissed you now, would you run away screaming?” Shoko didn't answer, but shook her head gently. Utahime leaned forward and gently kissed her on the mouth. Shoko froze, but gently returned the kiss, held Utahime's face, and put her hand into her hair. She didn't think too much about what she was doing, she just tried to imitate Iori. Suddenly, Utahime stepped back and smiled at her.
“I've wanted to do this for a long time."
"Really?" Shoko wasn't sure what to make of all this. She knew she liked Utahime, but she didn't think that she reciprocated her feelings.
“Yes, Shoko, when I get back from this mission, I'm taking you on a date,” Shoko smiled, looking forward to telling Geto and Gojo about what happened. She felt a strange satisfaction that she had solved her love problem faster than they had. Oh yes, she was satisfied. She smiled at Utahime.
"Agreed, it's settled!"
Two days later, they were on their first date and kissed for the second time.
***
Things with Utahime quickly gained momentum, and a week after their first kiss they were officially together, which made Shoko proud. Gojo and Geto turned out to be very supportive, and Satoru even spared his silly remarks about Utahime, which Shoko respected. Maybe her relationship with Iori will finally make Gojo stop treating Utahime so strangely. She would be very grateful for that. She knew that this was unlikely, given his character. However, she did not care too much about it and continued to try to maneuver between Utahime and the boys. Somehow she was coping.
About a month after Ieiri and Iori became official, Gojo went on a lonely mission, and Shoko and Geto were left alone at school. It was a beautiful May afternoon, so Suguru suggested a walk together, which Shoko agreed to. They walked slowly, enjoying the sun and spring. They stopped only in their favourite place, where a bench was hidden between the trees, facing a small canal, on which ducks swam happily. They sat in the shade and stared at the birds.
“Shoko, can I ask you something?” Suguru asked suddenly.
"Shall I be afraid?"
“No, I mean, if you don't want to answer, just don't say anything. But there's one thing I wanted to ask you."
“You can ask,” she pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and inhaled. It looked like the beginning of a serious conversation.
"How did you know that you liked Utahime?" she did not expect such a question, she glanced at Geto. He seemed upset. Strange.
“I just knew. She's pretty and smart.”
“But how did you know it wasn't a platonic feeling?”
“Suguru, I just knew it. I am aware that I have been a lesbian since I was 14 years old. That is, for almost two years I have been aware of who I am and how I react to girls around me. So I knew that the way I treated Utahime was not platonic. I knew I wanted to kiss her. I don't know how to explain it to you, you just know such things," she let out the smoke again. Suguru looked straight ahead and said nothing, he was struggling with his thoughts.
“Where does that come from, Suguru?”
“I was curious to know what it was like to be sure. That's all."
“It's just that when you know you're gay, at some point, things like that become obvious to you."
“Yeah, sure,” he said quietly, looking really nervous. Shoko suspected she knew where this conversation was going, but she wasn't going to make it easy for him. Let him take responsibility for his feelings.
“Something seems to be bothering you, Suguru,” Shoko threw away a cigarette butt.
"I... It is difficult for me to talk about it, but Shoko, if I may ask, was it difficult for you to accept your orientation?" she began to laugh, which confused Geto, he blushed.
"Oh, Suguru, definitely not. My mother doesn't give a fuck about who I like. She says that she wants me to be happy and she doesn't care, so it always came to me quite naturally. My father is worse, but since he divorced my mother, we haven't kept in touch, so I don't really care about his opinion. To answer your question, no, it wasn't difficult for me. I even had a girlfriend two years ago, but briefly, she left with me for our classmate! I liked other girls, but nothing came of it. But I didn't feel bad about it, and then I came here and met you and Utahime. You know the rest. In short, it wasn't hard for me to accept who I was," Suguru nodded and smiled, but he still looked nervous.
"I asked because I have doubts about myself and it is difficult for me to think about it," he was blushing. Shoko felt sorry for him.
“You mean you don't know what your orientation is, right?”
“Not really, I know I'm gay. I have known for a long time," when he said this, he looked straight ahead, it was obviously difficult for him to talk about it to someone, even someone as close as Shoko.
“But I do not know what my parents will say. We're not doing well anyway because I see curses and they don't. I feel that if I told them that I am gay, they would completely turn their backs on me. I don't think they'll accept it," he stopped talking and just stared at the canal. Suguru rarely talked about his feelings, more often showed them through action than talk them through. So Shoko understood that this confession cost him a lot. She was grateful to him for sharing it with her.
“You know, Suguru, you and them live in two different worlds, and it's going to stay that way. I understand that it's hard for you, because life in isolation from your parents is difficult. This is how it is with my father, but he left me and went to another woman. I also sometimes think about the fact that he chose her and her children over me. He preferred a stranger to his own daughter. Sometimes I wonder if it's not my fault, maybe if I wasn't a lesbian, and so on . But in the long run, such thinking makes no sense, it only makes us blame ourselves for someone else's choices. So if your parents would reject you, it would be their choice, not yours, and it would not be your fault," Shoko grabbed his hand, because she wanted to show him that she cared. She smiled at him, "You know, even if they rejected you, you’ll always have us , me and Satoru, we will not reject you."
At the sound of the name Gojo, Geto blushed.“He doesn't know it, you're the first person I've told.”
“I see." It was probably the first time Shoko had known anything about Geto faster than Satoru. She understood that the reason behind it was more than Suguru being secretive.“I think you can tell him, he'll understand you, Suguru. Seriously."
"You think so? But wouldn't it be strange?"
“You guys talk about everything, why would that be weird?”
"Because what if he thinks I'm in love with him?" as Geto said it, he got even more red. It was cute.
"And are you?" Shoko decided to be straightforward. He did not answer, but looked into the distance again. He didn't say anything for a moment and Shoko thought he probably wouldn't answer anymore, she started to smoke another cigarette.
And then Geto said,“I am.”
She choked on the smoke, not expecting the confession. She was really impressed. "And finally you make sense, Geto," she smiled sincerely at him.
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
“Only that you're finally aware of what's happening to you, you moron. Of course you're in love with him, I've known for a long time," she smirked.
“How did you know?”
“I see and analyze what's going on around me, so I notice things like that. But don't worry, most people aren't as attentive, and certainly not him. He doesn't know anything."
Geto started laughing, she liked his laughter, it was very sincere. "Shoko Ieiri, you are impossible! You know! And I was afraid to say anything! And you know!" he continued to laugh. She, too, smiled and smoked calmly, waiting for him to calm down.
"Now, you will have to help me, Shoko."
"With what?"
"With telling it to Satoru."
"No! Do not involve me in your affairs, I do not have the strength for it."
"Oh, yes, you will help me! Shoko Ieiri will help me!" he laughed and clapped. Shoko didn't know what to make of it, considering that ten minutes earlier he had almost cried over the vision of rejection by his parents. Geto finally calmed down, Shoko breathed a sigh of relief, because she was already starting to worry about him.
"Thank you, Shoko, for this conversation, I apologize for this attack of laughter. I was just so amused by the fact that I was so afraid to talk to you, and you go and tell me that you know everything. I'm really starting to get scared of you, you could read minds or something worse even, for all I know. Now all I have to do is use your skills to talk to Satoru."
"I said, leave me out of it, I won't tell him anything, you have to solve it yourself."
“Promise at least you'll try to find out what he thinks of me.”
"No! Don't think I'm going to play along with it. If you want to know what he thinks, ask him, don't be an idiot, Suguru," she said and smoked a cigarette to the end. She got up from the bench. "Now come on, we have to go back for training with Yaga."
“Is it that late?” Suguru pulled out his phone and checked the time. Yes, it was that late. He was still in that goofy mood, and all the way back to school he was tormenting Shoko about talking to Gojo. But Shoko insisted on being left out.
She had no intention of helping him get Satoru.
***
Of course, Shoko told Utahime about the conversation with Geto. Iori rolled her eyes and said that they were truly worthy of each other. She also supported Shoko in her rebellion against playing cupid for these two idiots. Ieiri was glad that her girlfriend thought about it in the same way.
Although she did not want to help Suguru, she watched with curiosity as he tried to court Satoru. She didn't know if he was doing it consciously or not, but it was both cute and funny. However, this was not a good strategy. Shoko knew Gojo very well and knew that he would never guess anything, you have to tell him directly about someone's intentions so that he could even understand what was happening around him. But Geto still couldn't bring himself to talk to him, and he still hadn't told Gojo that he was gay. Boys...
They were not able to talk to each other at all about things that really mattered.
***
One day at the beginning of June, Shoko spent time with Gojo alone, because Suguru went to visit his parents. He rarely visited them, but now he made an exception, because it was his mother's birthday. Utahime was on a mission with Mei Mei again, so Shoko had to spend time with Gojo. She was sitting in his room, he was playing a game, she was smoking by the window. Of course, Satoru talked about Geto, because what else would he do?
“I feel sorry for him that he has to go to his parents, they seem fucked up."
"They simply do not understand the world in which their son lives," Shoko did not want to defend Geto’s parents, but at the same time she did not want to be unfair to them. She also understood that although they were difficult people, Suguru still cared about them and their relationship. After all.
“Maybe, I can't quite imagine. You know, I lived in the Gojo clan, everyone around me knew about jujutsu and so on. While Suguru lived in a small village, his parents had no idea about curses until their son began to see them." Satoru threw the console, stopped the game and walked over to Shoko, "Can I smoke?"
"I thought, quoting, you are against all drugs because they obscure your perception."
“I'm against it, but I want to smoke. May I?"
“You may,” she handed him a cigarette and helped him light it up. He tried to inhale, but choked. Shoko began to laugh.
"Terrible, I don't know how you can smoke so much," but he kept smoking, he didn't want to be worse than her. He sat next to her on the windowsill and asked,“How's Utahime?”
“Don't pretend you care.”
“I'm not pretending, we're friends, so of course I'm interested in my favorite friend's girlfriend,” he blew smoke and smiled flirtatiously. Sometimes Shoko wondered why she was hanging out with him at all.
“She's fine, she's on a mission with Mei Mei."
"Again? They always pair them together. Do you miss her?" Gojo fluttered his eyelashes, Shoko rolled her eyes.
“No, I'll see her tomorrow.”
“I couldn't stand waiting like that. When Suguru is not next to me, I am terribly bored." Shoko frowned, did he just compare his and Geto's relationship to her girlfriend?
“Lucky you, Suguru will come tomorrow night too,” Shoko said, and put out the cigarette butt.
“How am I lucky? That just means I’ll have to wait another whole day! What am I going to do until then? I'll get bored. But I have a plan for what we'll do when he gets back. Want to know what?"
"Whatever, tell me."
"I'm going to kiss him." Shoko was grateful that she did not hold a cigarette, because she would set herself on fire, her eyes widened and she said nothing. Satoru continued as if nothing happened, "When he comes back, I will invite him here and then I will kiss him. I feel like it, so I'll do it," he let out smoke and smiled flirtatiously. Shoko didn't know what to say.
“What do you think, Shoko?”
"That you probably have to ask him for permission first."
"What for? I know he'll agree."
“You can't kiss someone just like that. God, Satoru, you don't do that. It could be crossing someone's boundaries."
"Exactly, someone's, but not his. He's my friend."
"But you know that friends don't usually kiss each other?"
"But they can, kissing is kissing. I don't think he's going to resist, I'm sure he'll agree."
“You know what, you really are an asshole, Gojo. It's good that you don't like girls, because I would be afraid of you."
“You're overreacting, Shoko. After all, you and Utahime are kissing too."
“I want to remind you that Utahime and I are together! Geto and you are not!"
"No one is more together than me and Suguru. We're closer in friendship than you and Utahime are in a relationship."
“You know what, I'm sick of you."
“Don't be offended, Shoko. I'm just stating the facts."
“You want facts? Okay, i will give them to you, Gojo,” she really felt annoyed by his insolence, arrogance, and sense of being omnipotent, “Suguru is your best friend that you should care about, but you'd have to stop being so egoistic. Don't interrupt me! Now I'm talking! Suguru is caring, intelligent, vulnerable and affectionate. He always thinks about others, and only then about himself. He always wants to help everyone and share what he has with them. He loves you and would do anything for you. Really anything. That boy could die for you. Don't interrupt me! But you don't see it, because you only think about yourself and what you want! Did you ever think in that little brain of yours how Suguru would feel if you suddenly started kissing him and later told him, “cool, cool, but I did it just because I wanted to”? It would destroy him, Gojo! You can't play with someone's feelings like that, be for real. I wish you luck and I think that yes, you and Suguru complete each other and deserve each other, but get out of your own ass sometimes and start living with other people!" She was furious. Satoru stared at her with an impenetrable expression on his face, saying nothing.
He finished smoking and only then said, “Ieiri, I'm sorry, I didn't think of it that way."
“You weren't thinking at all,” she started lighting another cigarette, really feeling furious, only the nicotine would calm her down.
“I don't want him to be offended. But I really think he would agree."
"Of course he would agree, Gojo, where are your Eyes, when do you need them?"
"I don't understand what you mean."
"Moron, he's in love with you" Shoko gave up. She became a matchmaker after all. Gojo blushed.
"He loves me? But in what sense?"
“In every fucking one,” Shoko really got fed up with the conversation. Gojo became even more red.
"How do you know it?"
"It's obvious, you idiot. What do you have those Six Eyes for, if you can't even analyze reality properly," she blew out the smoke, Gojo blushed even more. She was pleased, let him feel ashamed, he deserved it.
“I thought he liked girls,” Gojo blurted, Shoko snorted.
"Where did you take it from? He never talks about girls, Satoru."
“But potentially he could!”
“Okay, you know what, I'm not even going to comment on that. Your feelings and reasoning are beyond my ability to comprehend them."
“I want to kiss him, that's all. I think about it all the time, I wonder what it would look like, how I would feel. What does it mean?"
"Are you seriously asking me this?"
"Yep."
“Idiot, that means you like Suguru.”
"Yes?"
“Yes."
"I see"
"I'm done with you."
“So I'm in love with him?”
“Yes."
Shoko had enough, she put out her cigarette, threw it in the ashtray and hid her face in her hands. She felt that Gojo's stupidity was literally killing her brain cells. Satoru said nothing, perhaps for the first time in his life he considered his feelings.
"Shoko?"
"Yes?"
"You're probably right."
“Of course I'm right."
"So should I ask him for permission and talk to him?"
“Yes, you idiot.”
"Okay, thanks."
"You're welcome."
It was one of the most annoying conversations Shoko had ever had.
She came to that conclusion an hour later, as she lay in her room trying to fall asleep. She felt that one day she would truly die with these two idiots. They should kiss her feet for the emotional work she does for them. Men, they never understand anything...
It was a good thing she had Utahime.
***
A few days later, Shoko received two messages.
The one from Satoru Gojo read: I talked to him, we kissed, I think I love him .
And that from Suguru Geto: He confessed, we kissed, we are together?!
She smiled and shook her head, if it hadn't been for her, they would never have talked to each other. Men...
***
The next two months were probably the happiest time in the lives of Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru.
Later, even years later, this was how Shoko remembered that time. Two months of endless vacations that nothing could destroy. Two months of joy, closeness, and faith in the fact that the world will always look like this. Gojo and Geto felt indestructible, the strongest, their ones and only, and Shoko stood by and supported them, participating in their relationship. She heard about their quarrels, kissing, and because of Gojo also about their first sex – she didn't want to hear it, but Satoru had no such thing as shame and described EVERYTHING to her. She enjoyed their happiness and wanted the best for them, she also believed that it would last forever.
Neither of them sensed what was going to happen. None of them thought that it would all disappear as if it had never been.
None of them expected that this first spring of their lives would be the last.
***
It all ended after Riko died.
Geto disappeared in himself. He did not want to go on missions, he talked about the fact that it all made no sense and he started smoking. They still spent time together, but Geto's sadness was a shadow that hovered over them all the time.
Gojo tried hard, she saw it and appreciated it. He sat for hours in Geto's room and just spent time with him, lying next to him and talking about anything or what was most important, depending on what Geto needed at the moment. Together they fell asleep and woke up snuggled to each other. Gojo kissed him on the forehead and hugged him. Shoko knew about it because he told her everything, keeping only Suguru's confessions to himself. Ieiri understood that there were things in this world that they shared only with each other.
She also tried to help Satoru take care of Suguru. Sometimes as the three of them lay in Geto's room and Suguru slept in Satoru's arms, she used her technique on him. She deluded herself that the reverse cursed technique would cure his depression, although she wasn't sure. However, she did not know what else she could do, so she did what she was best at, she treated.
She spent long hours in the library looking for information on the treatment of mental illness using reverse techniques but found no information about it. She was furious that no one had ever investigated it, and never became interested in it. So she decided to experiment and treat Geto in this way, deluding herself that it would bring some results.
Indeed, after using the technique, Suguru woke up more refreshed and calmer, but during the day he slowly fell into numbness again. The technique would have to be used again, and it was not always possible, because Suguru refused, he said that nothing was happening to him, and that she and Satoru were exaggerating. He pulled away from them, but they always came back.
They came with food, sweets and cigarettes. Ieiri smoked with him in the open window, Satoru lay with him in the same bed and just was with him. Suguru rebelled, but always finally capitulated. Each of them knew that only their closeness could somehow help him.
The three of them tried to survive together.
***
Within a year of Riko's death, Geto was appointed a special grade, joining Gojo and Yuki Tsukumo. The latter came to technical college on one summer day and had a conversation with Suguru. Shoko never found out what they were talking about, but she knew it was somehow an important conversation for Geto.
Later, Haibara died, which was the beginning of the end, as she later stated, analyzing the events of 2007. Geto suffered greatly from the loss of a younger colleague, Shoko knew about it, but none of them, not even Gojo, was able to reach him. Geto had finally closed in on himself. Shoko saw Gojo trying hard to take on some of Suguru's suffering, but everything seemed feeble, the endless sadness of Geto was eternal, indestructible, final.
Shoko felt like everything was falling apart. If she had not had Utahime with her, she would have broken down on her own, because she sensed that something was coming.
This was only the beginning.
***
Shoko remembered well the last conversation with Geto before the disaster.
This was the day before his last mission at technical college. The next morning, he would drive to a village far from Tokyo and would never return from there. But Shoko didn't know that yet.
They sat on the bleachers and watched as Gojo practiced his infinity, the sun was slowly setting. Geto himself was in a surprisingly good mood.
“I heard from Satoru that you and Utahime are going on a trip together."
“Yeah, we're going to her parents' in Kyoto. I'm a little stressed, but I think it'll be fun. We need some time off. Iori has taken on a lot of missions, but she is slowly finalizing all the formal issues and we expect that in the upcoming months she will finally get a promotion to the first grade. That's why we're already celebrating!" Shoko smiled. She was very happy that her girlfriend would finally get her dream promotion, she knew how much it all meant to her. Ieiri was very proud of her.
“Great, you've earned it.” Suguru replied. "I'd like to go somewhere with Satoru too, we'll think about it. It's just this stupid mission tomorrow, but I expect it won't be difficult. It's just a second-grade curse from what I understood from the documentation."
“Then this is nothing to you,” she smiled at him.
"Ieiri?"
"Yes?"
“I wanted to thank you for what you've been doing these past few months. I know I haven't been a great patient, but I've seen you try to help me. I am very grateful to you for this, I am sorry to only talk about it now, but I really felt a little better after each activation of your technique. A strange warmth was pouring into me. Later, this condition always passed and again I felt hopeless, this difference made me feel even worse. That's why I didn't let you activate the technique often, it hurt too much, but at the same time it didn't change the fact that it helped."
Shoko didn't say anything, she just hugged him,"Oh, Suguru, you don't have to thank me, I would do it again. If you feel sad, you can always ask me. Treating you is a pleasure compared to Satoru." Geto started laughing, she broke away from him and laughed too.
Then Gojo himself approached them, "What are you laughing at, lovebirds?"
“You,” Shoko and Geto said at the same moment, and laughed again. Satoru echoed them.
They sat on the bleachers for a long time. They smoked and talked, Shoko felt like a year earlier during this beautiful summer of eternity. She felt that it would be better, it must be, because Suguru began to laugh again. Satoru held his hand and Shoko thought that they had won, they managed to overcome Geto's sadness, somehow they came out of it. It worked because they were together.
Later, when she thought back to that moment, she thought about the fact that youth is ruled by naivety and unmistakable certainty, which, however, crumbles every time like a house of cards. And although she was aware of this paradox, she considered that evening on the bleachers to be one of her sincerest and warmest memories. Because then she felt really happy.
***
When Geto did not return from a mission in the village, for the first time ever Shoko saw how Gojo Satoru collapsed.
He was running around the school and shouting at Yaga, who was trying to organize the rescue mission as soon as possible. Satoru, however, was impatient; he tried to force Yaga to tell him where the village was, but the teacher did not want to give him this information. Shoko was grateful to him for it, because she knew that otherwise Gojo would do something very stupid. He could not yet teleport well enough to move there, but it was never known if he would succeed now. He better not know the location of the village.
Shoko watched how he was drowning in his emotions, which he didn't even try to hide. He was angry and worried, she knew that he wrote and called Geto many times, but each time he was met with silence. He did not understand this situation and it was this misunderstanding that devastated him. It was really bad.
Shoko didn't know how to help him, so she just sat next to him and smoked cigarette after a cigarette. Since Geto disappeared, she couldn't stop smoking, it was the only activity that calmed her down. She smoked and smoked. And Gojo sat beside her lost in his thoughts and felt devastated.
Every night, she saw him lock himself in Geto's room and heard him crying through the door. But she never went in there, she knew he wanted to be alone with his sadness, and that her presence would only confuse him. She couldn't cry on her own, she felt that it wasn't her tears, not her struggle. She only called Utahime and talked to her for a long time. Iori tried to support her by saying that everything would certainly be clear when the rescue mission would come back and present the report. Until then, they had to wait.
In the current situation, their trip to Kyoto was cancelled, Utahime went alone, because Shoko could not leave Gojo alone. She was worried about him like never before. She had to be there to help him if he needed her. She knew it was the only thing she could do in this situation.
***
When the report came and Yaga presented it to her, Shoko stood in the courtyard and smoked calmly. Her only reaction to the news that Geto had killed all the villagers and his parents was to raise her eyebrows. She nodded. Yaga left nervous. She knew he was going to tell it to Gojo now, whose reaction might be erratic, she was afraid of how Satoru would take it.
Poor, poor Satoru.
Shoko did not know what was going to happen now, she had no idea about anything anymore. She smoked a cigarette and immediately started another one. She texted Utahime:
Shoko Ieiri: The report came. Geto killed the villagers. Now I can't talk. We'll talk in the evening. I have to take care of Satoru.
She quickly got the answer:
Utahime Iori: What?????? Okay, I'll talk to you later.
It's good that Utahime is in her life, Shoko didn't know how she would have managed without her.
Gojo came out of the school building looking terrified. He walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bench. He said nothing, she was silent, too. She only held out her hand to him, and he took it. They sat holding hands and looked into the distance together.
***
In the evening, she went to Shinjuku to stock up on cigarettes and buy a gift for Utahime. She had to forget for a moment, break away from all this, and not see Gojo’s face.
And it was in Shinjuku that she met the person she least expected there.
Geto found her, offered her a lighter, and they smoked cigarettes together. She wasn't afraid of him, because Shoko knew he wouldn't hurt her.
“Mr. Criminal!" she greeted him, Geto just smiled. He looked strangely happy and relaxed, as if all the suffering of last year had finally left him, as if he was finally feeling calm. As it turned out, you just have to destroy everything you believed in to finally feel better. Men and their ways of dealing with emotions…
Shoko pulled out her phone and called Gojo, "I found Geto... Yes, in Shinjuku, come."
Suguru stood next to him and smoked, he really looked very calm. “Before Satoru arrives, can I ask you something, Ieiri?”
“Ask what you want,” she said, and blew out the smoke.
“Do you hate me?” he smiled at her. Charming as always.
“No, why would I? I believe that you behave childishly and cannot take responsibility for your fear. That's the truth. What’s done is done.”
Geto just laughed, "I can always count on you, Shoko. I hope we'll meet in a better world someday." Shoko rolled her eyes but smiled. She really couldn't be mad at him. It was still Suguru, it would always be only Suguru for her. No matter what happened, there were moments she would always remember. And the moment they stood and smoked in Shinjuku, waiting for Gojo, was one of them.
This was their farewell.
***
When Satoru came, she left them alone before the KFC. Gojo was agitated, not even wearing his sunglasses. She was worried about him, but she knew she couldn't stay with him now, it wasn't her fight, it wasn't her war.
So she went to a bookstore to buy a book for Utahime and later returned to school.
She did not meet with Gojo again that day. She knew he had returned to college sometime later. She could see through the window how he was sitting on the bleachers, holding his head. But she did not approach him, she wanted to give him space. She saw him get up and go into the building. She knew he had locked himself in Geto's room again as he had done for the last five days.
She saw him only in the morning, he looked different, he was calm for the first time since Suguru had disappeared. Dark glasses obscured his eyes, but she saw that they were swollen, which meant he had been crying. She did not comment on it in any way. Shoko understood that there were things he didn't want to talk to her about.
She could imagine how Satoru was feeling. After all, Geto left her too.
***
In a world without Suguru, the old Satoru had disappeared.
He wasn't as talkative as he used to be, he didn't talk about himself as much. He was still arrogant and funny, but Shoko saw a change in him, something was missing, as if some part of Satoru had disappeared that day in Shinjuku and was never to return. His only goal was to be the best, so he practiced a lot. He experimented with teleportation all day long and did everything he could to finally refine his domain. For now, the latter was difficult for him, but Shoko knew that sooner or later he would master it to perfection. After all, it was Gojo, he was the strongest.
They didn't talk about Suguru, but Shoko knew that Gojo kept some souvenirs that he had taken from Geto's room before Yaga had it cleaned up. She knew that sometimes he stayed up late and cried. She knew he barely slept and always kept his infinity activated, as if he was constantly afraid that something would touch him and destroy him.
She knew he still remembered Suguru. She knew that on Geto's birthday on February 3rd he locked himself in his room and did not leave it. She knew he had bought Suguru a cake, which he had eaten alone. She knew he was staring at his picture and holding his breath.
And she stood outside the door and could not help him, because she could not forget herself. Within a few months, their trio had become a duo that was always looking for something and couldn’t find it because it lacked the most important element.
As if they existed forever in suspension.
***
Winter passed, spring and summer began again. Then, in June 2008, something happened that Shoko did not expect. After ten months of silence, she received a message from Suguru Geto.
She was sitting in her room studying for medical entrance exams when her phone buzzed. She saw two words "Suguru Geto" on the display, frowned and quickly opened the message.
Geto Suguru: Hi, Shoko! I apologize for writing so suddenly and after so many months. I had to somehow adjust myself in a new role made for me. Never mind. I am writing to you because I have a request. Would you be able to help me with one thing for old times sake? Suguru
Shoko Ieiri: Geto, this is the strangest message I have received in a long time. What do you want?
The answer came immediately.
Geto Suguru: I can't believe you wrote back! Great! I would like to meet with Satoru.
Shoko frowned. What is he up to?
Shoko Ieiri: I don't know if he would like to meet you.
Geto Suguru: I know, but I need to talk to him.
Shoko Ieiri: Then why don't you call him?
Geto Suguru: I don't think he would answer. I'd like to meet him and talk to him then.
Shoko Ieiri: I still don't understand why you're writing to me.
Shoko lit up a cigarette. This exchange was strange, out of place, and began to irritate her.
Geto Suguru: Please, it’s just one single favor. If you were so kind as to tell me when Satoru is going on a solo mission then it’ll be enough.
Shoko did not reply right away, she looked at the message, blowing out the smoke of the cigarette. So Geto wanted to meet with Satoru and again she was the one that was supposed to help them connect. It always looked the same.
She wondered if it was a good idea, or if this meeting would only open slowly healed wounds and Satoru would suffer even more after they met. She didn't know.
She thought about Satoru and how he practiced to forget, how he disappeared in himself to forget, how he took mission after mission to forget. But he couldn't do it, something always reminded him of Suguru. And now Geto wanted to come back after those ten months as if nothing had happened, as if he were not an outcast, as if Gojo were still waiting for him. She didn't like it, so she wrote:
Shoko Ieiri: I don't know if that's a good idea. He suffered, Suguru, you made him very unhappy. The whole situation destroyed him. I've seen this firsthand over and over again. And now you want to come back as if nothing happened? It's selfish.”
She quickly got the answer:
Geto Suguru: Yes, it's selfish, Shoko. But I remember too, I suffered too. And I want nothing more than to see him again.
She understood him. If something had separated her from Utahime, she would want to do anything to get her back. But she knew she couldn't help him, even for old times' sake. She had to refuse him.
Shoko Ieiri: I can't help you, Suguru. I don't want to get involved. Don't ask me about it again.
He quickly replied:
Geto Suguru: Thank you anyway for listening to me, I'm sorry I asked. Have a good night.
Shoko put the phone down and walked to the window. It was already dark outside, but the June night was warm and pleasant. She stood and stared at the stars, wondering if she had done the right thing by not helping Suguru. However, she thought about Satoru and all the changes she saw in him during these ten months.
Suguru still loved Satoru, but she couldn't let him hurt Gojo. She wouldn't be able to look in the mirror if another tragedy happened, and she couldn't imagine what would happen if Geto came back to Gojo. She didn't know and she wasn't supposed to find out. She hoped that Suguru would not write to her anymore, because she felt tired of it all herself.
She would like to forget herself. But she couldn't do it.
She pulled out her phone and called Utahime. She answered immediately.
"Good evening," just hearing her voice calmed Shoko.
"Good evening."
“Is something wrong, honey? You have a sad voice." Utahime was always caring, always sure.
"Hmm, actually, yes. Geto texted me."
"What? Geto? What did he want?”
“He wanted me to help him meet with Satoru. I refused to.”
“Good, who does he think he is? He kills people, runs away, and texts you after... How many months? Ten?!" Utahime, as usual, did not have much patience for the stupidity of Geto and Gojo. Shoko loved her for that.
“I don't know what he's thinking. He said he wanted to meet Satoru and explain some things. I don’t know Iori, but I can't help him."
"You don't have to, and in my opinion you shouldn't even."
“I understand that he misses him, but as I imagined Satoru and what had happened to him over the months, I had to say no to him."
“You did the right thing. You don't owe him anything."
"It's good that you think so too, because I felt strange. Torn apart. Angry. Outraged. I don’t know. I wish it was over. Sometimes I feel like it's some endless nightmare that I can't wake up from. And then I remember that no, this is the reality in which we live and there is nothing that can be done about it." Shoko felt that she was starting to cry, she put out her cigarette and let tears flow. "Iori, it's really hard for me."
“I know, honey, you're very brave, I know you're trying. He shouldn't have written to you. Don't worry about it." Shoko was already crying openly, she couldn't calm down. Utahime listened to her crying and said only her name "Ieiri, Ieiri, shhh", reassuring her.
It wasn't until Shoko had calmed down that Iori said,“You're strong, you're brave, and you always survive. You've been through a lot. I know you care about Gojo, that you try to support him. You do the most of all people. But remember that you are not alone, I am here too and you can always count on me. I love you, Shoko Ieiri, and you can always call me. Always."
“Thank you, Iori, I love you too. Thank you for being here. I couldn't have survived it without you."
"I wouldn't leave you with it. When I get back from Okinawa, we'll go on the best date ever. I promise. Just give me a few more days, baby."
"Thank you."
"Now go to sleep, because tomorrow you have to study again. Don't think about them, and fuck Geto, because he makes everyone cry. I love you."
"Good night, Iori."
"Goodnight, love."
Shoko hung up and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
She was grateful for one thing. Utahime.
She didn't know what would happen to her in a world without her.
***
Years later, she learned that somehow Geto had contacted Gojo and they had renewed contact. They met in secret for ten years, hiding it from the world, even from her.
All these years, however, she watched Gojo and saw how he reacted to every mention of Suguru. He was pretending to be indifferent. However, at every request to take matters into his own hands and finally defeat Suguru Geto, he always resisted, always found an excuse. She knew he was never going to do it. Satoru would never stand against Suguru. Shoko saw that he was faithful to him even after all these years and all the things that had happened along the way. He still believed and still remembered.
And the only person who understood him was Shoko.
***
During all these years after Geto's deflection, some moments were an imitation of past happiness.
One of them was Shoko's graduation. Utahime and Gojo came to her ceremony. Iori took pictures and Satoru made the worst comments in the world, "Smile, my favorite scammer! The best doctor who loves to cheat," he put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.
“God, Satoru, keep it down,” Shoko tried to get out of his grip, but he held her tight and smiled as if he'd lost his mind.
“It's hard to blame you, I'd use the reverse cursed technique too, if I were you.”
"God, Gojo, shut up," Utahime was annoyed, "And stand straight, I'll take a picture of you." She tried to maneuver the camera, Gojo gritted his teeth and gripped Shoko harder.
“All right, maybe something will come of it,” Utahime said, staring at the camera display.
"I want a picture with you, Iori." Gojo took the camera from Utahime's hand and approached the older man who was standing next to her, "Excuse me, could you take a picture for us?"
"Of course." They posed. Shoko was really happy.
She finished school, she made it.
Later she looked at this picture that hung in her office at the technical college. She liked it because her beloved partner and best friend were on it. Sometimes, however, when her eyes stayed on it for too long, she thought about the fact that one person was missing from this picture, a tall dark-haired man with earrings in his ears. Then she sighed and reached out for cigarettes, not wanting to think about the past for too long. She quickly went back to work. It was the only way she could break away from her memories.
***
On their tenth anniversary, Utahime proposed to her.
It wasn't anything special. They sat together in their apartment and ate ramen that Iori had ordered. None of them liked lavish parties or celebrations, so they just had a good time and smiled. Shoko was dirty with soup and she felt really happy because that's how she imagined a real home. Iori stared at her with a dreamy expression on her face, Shoko began to laugh, “I know I'm dirty, but you don't have to stare so much!”
"Stupid, I'm looking at you because I think you're the most beautiful person in the world."
“Stop making me laugh, Iori."
“But I'm telling the truth, take it” she handed her a napkin, “Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that we live together, that we're together. I don't believe it."
“Utahime, we've been together for ten years, you could get used to it,” Shoko smiled bitterly.
“Don't mock me, honey. I confess my love to you here, and you laugh! Rude! But that's why I love you, that's why..."
“I love you too, Iori,” Shoko grabbed her hand and stroked it gently. Utahime smiled and shook her hand.
"Ieiri?"
"Yes?"
“Will you be my wife?” Shoko's eyes widened and she felt her face turn red. They had been together for so long that the issue of marriage had to come up someday, but it was still hard for her to believe that yes, it was happening. Utahime Iori wanted to marry her.
“Aww, you are blushing,” Iori smirked, still stroking her hand, “You don't have to answer now, think about it, and you'll tell me when you're sure. I'll wait."
"No, you’ve got it all wrong. I can answer right away. Of course, I want to be your wife. I just didn't expect it to happen, that someday you'd ask me. I love you, I want to be your wife." Utahime smiled. She looked the most beautiful in the world.
Much later, when Iori was already asleep and cuddled with Shoko, Ieiri wrote to Gojo.
Shoko Ieiri: Iori proposed to me.
The answer came immediately. Gojo never slept, which worried Shoko, but she decided not to comment on it now.
Gojo Satoru: OMG 🥺💗😭⭐️ GREAT!!!! Can I be your bridesmaid????
Gojo being Gojo.
Shoko Ieiri: You can even catch a bouquet, lover boy.
Gojo Satoru: I'll catch it because I'm the strongest 😎
She rolled her eyes but smiled involuntarily. She really liked this idiot, even though he was the most annoying person she knew.
Another message came in:
Gojo Satoru: Congratulations, tell Utahime that if she hurts you, I'll kill her😜.
Shoko Ieiri: 😒
Gojo Satoru: 😘 good night
Shoko Ieiri: Good night, Satoru
She put the phone down and hugged her fiancée tighter.
***
Satoru was indeed a "bridesmaid" at the wedding of Iori and Ieiri in September 2016. The ceremony took place at the town hall in Denmark, where they were teleported by Gojo. He was the only witness, but this did not diminish the importance of the ceremony.
For Shoko Ieiri, it was one of the happiest days of her life.
Iori looked beautiful in a long, white kimono and traditionally styled hair. Shoko wore a white suit and appropriately selected heeled shoes. They had no bouquets or veils, but exchanged gold rings and kissed in front of the clerk. After the ceremony, they went out in front of the town hall, holding hands.
“My favorite lesbian and Utahime got married!” Gojo turned to Iori, who rolled her eyes.
“I hope you have pictures or I'll kill you, Gojo,” Shoko threatened.
“I got it, I got it, mum. So what about a round through Danish pubs? Or would you rather move to Tokyo and celebrate?"
“Are you sure you can move us this early? Aren’t you tired?
"I'm never tired," Gojo winked at Shoko and stretched out his hands. Shoko preferred to return, she was not very interested in Copenhagen. She wanted to have a glass of wine and then go to bed with her WIFE. She had no more priorities in life at the moment.
“I'd rather go back, wouldn't you, Iori?”
“Me too, but we're going to celebrate! I've already written to Nanami, he'll meet us after work. Gojo, take us to Tokyo."
So they came back.
They went to a bar, drank a lot, and Nanami came. Gojo was annoying him as usual, Utahime was teasing Satoru, and Shoko was smoking and thinking it was the happiest day of her life.
She felt happy.
So there were moments in life after the catastrophe that compensated for all the sadness of everyday life and all the pains that the life of the sorcerer was associated with.
She had someone to exist for.
She smiled and hugged Iori tighter.
***
After years of working in a company, Nanami returned to jujutsu society. Shoko always valued him very much as a person and a sorcerer. She knew that he went through much and suffered after Haibara passed away and Geto left. He would rather retire from jujutsu and work in a company than stay in this world without his friends. Shoko didn't blame or criticize him. She understood well that sometimes leaving was the best thing a man could do after a loss. She would have considered it herself if it hadn't been for the Utahime, whom she loved, and Gojo, whom she worried about.
She couldn't leave him, because although he was seemingly the strongest, Shoko knew that his strength came from denial. He denied what had happened to him, devoting himself intensely to the reality of being the best and being a role model for a new generation of sorcerers. She admired him and saw how lovingly he cared for the kids and how much heart he put into raising Megumi and Tsumiki. When she saw him with the young Fushiguros, she couldn't help smiling. She was proud of him that, despite everything, he still wanted to change this world for the better for at least one child. She admired him and was happy to watch him . She also knew that if Geto had seen it, he would have been proud of him, too.
Geto?
Of course she was thinking about him. How could she not? She was reminded about him at the least expected moments when she was smoking, lying down with Utahime, or looking at Gojo. She could see his shadow over everything that concerned them. She knew he was out there somewhere pursuing his strange plans, but she missed him anyway. After all these years, she sometimes wished she could talk to him.
After the chaotic messages of June 2008, he never wrote to her, nor did she, although she wrote his number on each new phone, deluding herself that it was still the current one.
She guessed that Gojo was contacting him, but she never asked him about it. She did not want to upset him, because she knew how he reacted to the memory of Geto.
They talked about him very rarely. The exceptions were Suguru's birthdays. Every February 3, Shoko would call Gojo and ask how he was feeling.
“Okay, Mom, I'm alive somehow,” Gojo said in February of 2017.
“What are your plans for tonight?”
“I eat his favorite cake and watch movies. A classic."
"This fruit cake?" Suguru loved it.
"Yes, from a small bakery next to school. The same one."
“I thought you didn't like it.”
"I don't like it, but sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself..."
“I hope you don't do anything stupid.”
“Shoko, I'm not five. You don't have to mother me."
“You know I'm worried."
“I know, but you don't have to be. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."
"Okay."
"I was looking at our old photos together,” he added suddenly, “Sometimes I forget that you had short hair then." She hadn't cut her hair like in high school for years now. She forgot about it herself.
“I did, indeed.”
“It suited you. Did you know Suguru has long hair now?"
"I know, I saw in the photos." The photographs of Geto were even in the news for non-sorcerers. His little cult was becoming famous. It worried Shoko.
“He looks sexy.”
“Rather odd.”
"Whatever. Seriously, Shoko, I won't do anything stupid, you can hang up and go back to your wife, I'll eat the cake, I'll look at the photos and that's it. It's kind of you that you called, but I'm fine." Shoko knew he wanted to be left alone with his little rituals. She felt anxious, but she could never get him to talk about his feelings. Gojo completely supplanted them and then did such strange things as eating his ex-boyfriend's favorite cake and looking at his pictures until 4am.
"Okay, good night, Satoru. Remember that you are coming to us for dinner on Saturday."
"I remember, I remember, good night!"
He hung up and she shook her head. She couldn't blame him for the way he was, but she still considered him an idiot who couldn't cope with what happened to him because he didn't want to be helped. She just had to be next to him and wait for the right moment. Maybe someday they'd talk openly about Suguru.
Maybe someday...
***
When Suguru Geto declared war on them in the autumn of 2017, Shoko understood that now was the end of everything.
It was not Gojo, but Geto that made the first move, and Shoko again felt thrown between them, not knowing how to find herself in this situation and what to do to get out of it. Gojo could no longer resist, he had to accept Suguru's challenge, and she had to watch it.
She thought about it as she sat and listened to Yaga speaking to all the sorcerers gathered at the technical college in Tokyo. The principal was cursing Geto. Shoko was able to endure this until he announced Suguru's execution. Then she got up and left without looking back.
After everything he had done, Geto was still her friend. He did not deserve such a fate, and she didn’t want to be an accomplice to his death. She went out into the courtyard and lit up a cigarette. Her phone buzzed. She got a message from Utahime:
Utahime Iori: Is everything all right?
She was adorable, after all these years, she still cared.
Shoko Ieiri: Yes, everything is OK, I had to get some air, I'll be right back soon😘
Utahime Iori: Okay, take your time.
Sweet Iori, who always thought of Shoko, always tried to be supportive. It's good that at least she's been around all these years. This is the only stability Shoko felt in her life.
Everything else was more than fleeting.
***
On December 24th, 2017, on the day of the battle, Shoko occupied a large hangar in Tokyo and took care of the wounded. There were so many of them. Too many.
“Geto, what are you doing?" she said to herself and went to another wounded sorcerer. She didn't know who to help first.
Suguru wasn't lying, it was a war.
***
Bending over another wounded person, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She pulled it out and checked. Satoru Gojo. What did he want in the middle of a battle?
Gojo Satoru: Shoko, it's over. I'm at school. I killed Suguru, I'll take his body to the infirmary. Meet me there when you're free. I'll be waiting.
Shoko stared blankly at the display, still trying to understand what had just happened. The good news was that the battle was over.
But to end it Satoru had to kill Suguru.
Kill. He killed him.
She couldn't imagine it. She felt fear, she could not even imagine what condition he must have been in.
"Ieiri-san, it really hurts, would you?" the man next to her snorted. She had responsibilities. She put down her phone and leaned over the wounded.
She will take care of Satoru later.
***
When she had finished treating all the wounded, she went down to the infirmary, where she knew she would find Gojo. She opened the door, Satoru was kneeling in front of the bed on which Suguru's body lay. He was lying on Geto's chest, his body shaking with a shudder. Shoko closed the door behind her and walked over to him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. Infinity was lowered. She stood there for a long time, letting him cry, knowing that this was the only time Satoru would allow himself to cry. Later, he will return to his students, duties, and curses, and in front of the whole world, he will pretend that everything was fine.
Only she, as always, would remember, only she would know how it really was. She just wanted to be there for him, there was nothing more she could do.
“Ieiri, I don't know what I'm going to do now,” he said when he calmed down enough to start talking, “They're not going to let me bury him on school's grounds. I will have to take him somewhere else, I was thinking about Okinawa, to bury him there by the sea. One of our best memories is of that day on the beach with Riko and Kuroi. I don't know where else to take him." Shoko squeezed his arm.
“I'm sure he'd appreciate it, it's a good idea.”
“Will you go there with me?”
"Of course I will. I want to say goodbye to him too."
“Thank you, Shoko,” he got up from his knees, but he still held his hand as if he couldn't physically part from him, as if his whole life depended only on it.
“I didn't think I'd be the one to kill him,” Shoko looked him in the eyes. She could feel his cursed energy, how it was boiling and how he was fighting, she wished she could help him in any way.
Satoru continued, "I knelt next to him, we hugged and then I kissed him. I held him beside me, I felt his body, his blood spilling under my hands. I held him tightly and then I shot him. With my own fingers, with my own energy. I killed Suguru. Me." He was still looking at his body, still holding his hand in his hand.
"You had no choice. If you hadn't killed him, someone else would have, you know that. Yaga sentenced him. There was nothing you could do, Satoru."
“I could do anything, and I took the easiest route. He told me at the end to curse him. Those were his final words to me. Shoko, I will never forget it, never. I thought I died when he left me ten years ago. No, I lived on, we saw each other, I know you knew that. I talked to him, I sent him messages. We used to meet. He was always out there somewhere. And now he's gone... I died just now, Shoko, I feel like some part of me has gone and the worst thing is that I know he will never come back because it's just impossible." He hid his head in his hands, Shoko was gently stroking his shoulder. She couldn't say anything. She herself felt that something inside her had died, but she could not imagine what Gojo must have felt.
Still holding him, she said as gently as possible, "Satoru, we have to prepare him for cremation..."
“No,” he pulled his hands away from his face and grabbed her arm, “Shoko, I don't agree, I won't let you cremate him.”
"Okay, I won't," she looked him straight in the eyes. The unearthly blue pierced her. Whenever she saw his real eyes, she felt that her soul was exposed, that Satoru touched the essence of it with his very energy and took it to himself. Now she saw emptiness and desperation in those eyes, but also her own reflection.
They were the same.
She nodded. He asked her, so there would be no cremation.
***
The next day, Gojo and Shoko teleported Suguru's body to Okinawa. There, under a tree on the beach, Gojo dug a grave on his own. No one said anything. A protective barrier hovered over them, so they were invisible to outside observers. Shoko smoked and waited for Gojo to finish. Only when everything was ready, the body folded and covered with earth, did they stand over it together, holding hands.
“Goodbye, Suguru,” Shoko said.
“Goodbye, Suguru,” Gojo added.
Shoko felt tears pouring down her cheeks, but she didn't want to wipe them off, she just let them flow. They stood over the grave for a while, but time was not on their side, they had to go back to their lives and pretend that they were not experiencing the loss of a friend. Shoko pulled down the curtain. Gojo walked over to her and they went back to school together.
Both were to live on in a world without Suguru Geto.