Archive of Our Own

Silom Road is packed with people.

Apo feels giddy with nervous excitement, like a kid who visits an amusement park for the first time and starts anticipating all the fun and the unexpected things that he will find along the way. He is completely dry, having just arrived at this open-air water party, except for the sweat dripping from his forehead.

Adjusting his yellow sunglasses that keep sliding down his nose, he makes his way through the crowd. He gets caught in the crossfire of someone else’s water fight and a few drops of water hit his nape and back. He yelps and then starts giggling, amused.

He lets the stream of people drag him along the road, in the meanwhile getting wetter and wetter due to people splashing each other across the two sides of the road. It might seem odd to not partake in the fun but so far he feels content in just watching other people having the time of their lives, soaking in their water and their enthusiasm.

Even though he came with friends, they immediately lost sight of each other after the security checks at the entrance, pushed by the eager crowd to different directions.

It’s fine, he is quite used to spending time on his own.  

After a while the pavement gets wider and Apo finally has some freedom of movement. His yellow shirt is drenched and stuck to his back, he doesn’t know if it’s because he got unintentionally splashed multiple times already or if it is mostly his own sweat.

Music is blasting from loudspeakers mounted on light poles or improvised stages on the left side of the street. Traffic noises, car horns, shouts and laughs surround him. The clash of sounds would usually be too much, but Apo finds that he does not mind at all, on the contrary, it adds to his excitement.

He truly feels like a little kid exploring the world for the first time.

He removes his glasses thinking about drying them on his shirt – which is wet and wouldn’t be of much use, honestly – when he suddenly gets literally swept off his feet.

“What the…?”

He realises that a whole bucket of seemingly ice water has narrowly missed him. A strong arm is encircling his waist and a warm chest is plastered to his back.

He manages to turn around coming face to face with a man who looks as stunned as he is and vaguely apologetic.

“Sorry, it looked like you needed a rescue.”

The man’s arm is still on his waist, while his other hand is clutching a red water gun.

Apo takes a step back.

“Isn’t getting wet the whole point of this..?” he asks folding his glasses and hanging them on his shirt.

“Did you really want to get hit by iced water?” rebuts the other man, slightly offended.

He has jet-black hair ruffled by the humidity but he looks overall way more dry than Apo. His white shirt is damp and clinging to his chest but that must have happened when he grabbed Apo to save him from whoever wanted to dump freezing water on his unaware self.

“Uhm..” mumbles Apo still dumbfounded.

“And by the way who comes to a water fight unarmed?”

Apo chuckles. The other man is right, but what can he say in his own defence? That he has lost his friends who were equipped with guns and water and instead of looking for them he decided to wander on his own, alone and exposed?  

“Who comes to a water fight with a dress shirt?” he replies instead, to preserve his dignity. “This is Songkran, not a board meeting.”

The other man laughs.

“Fair point,” he says with a small smile gracing his lips and a glint in his eyes.

Apo is extremely endeared by this weird man. Who is also very good-looking despite his questionable attire.

The other man then proceeds to unbutton his shirt down to his navel and roll up his sleeves, all the way smirking at him.

“Am I ready for Songkran now?”

“Now you are more likely to get arrested but yes, you’re good,” jokes Apo, trying not to peek inside the other man’s shirt. He is still wearing slacks anyway, so he’s not quite Songkran-ready. Afraid that this crazy man would remove them if he dared to comment on that Apo decides to let it slide.

“I am Mile, by the way.”

Apo has a sense of déjà vu, as if this very interaction has already happened before.

“I am Apo?” he replies unfocused, still trying to recall something even though he doesn’t know what.

“Are you sure?”

Apo blinks.

“What?”

Mile laughs. He has super straight teeth. And dimples. He is also so white – his complexion, his shirt, his aura – as if he used to bathing in milk every day. Apo can’t help to notice that he has a mole on his pec.

“Come on, Apo, let’s get you a gun.”

---

When Apo had accepted Mile’s offer to buy him a weapon since he has no money on himself (stupid man) he had not expected that the other would bribe a kid in the crowd with an obscene amount of cash (stashed inside a waterproof plastic bag, clever man) to get hold of a huge water gun. The closest stalls that sold them had finished their supplies so Mile had to resort to this.

“How much did you give him?”

“A thousand baht.”

Apo almost drops his – Mile’s – new purchase.

“A thousand baht for a plastic toy?”

“I didn’t have any small change.”

Apo laughs.

“Are you for real?”

Mile’s smug smile falls.

Apo’s heart drops to his feet.

“Hey, I am kidding,” he tries to reassure him. “Thank you so much for this! And for earlier, sorry for being an asshole. It was very nice of you to prevent me from getting iced.”

Mile stares at him smiling sheepishly. Apo’s stomach does a little flip which is totally normal when a handsome guy smiles at you all cute and shy.

“My pleasure.”

They keep staring at each other until Apo starts to feel the awkwardness of it all.

He clears his throat.

“Ok, let’s go refill this and join the fun.”

Mile shakes his head as if awakened from a reverie.

“Wait.”

Apo stops.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, I-I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to hang out. You must be here with friends and I just…literally abducted you.”

Apo bursts into laughter but then he realises that the other man is serious.

“Don’t be silly, of course I want to hang out,” he says. “I came here with friends, yes, but I lost them as soon as we entered so I sort of went…with the flow.”

“And don’t you want to try and call them?”

Apo scratches his head.

“I don’t have my phone.”

Mile fixes him with a disbelieving stare.

“It’s not safe to bring valuables to this sort of thing…”

Mile fishes his waterproof bag containing money and his own phone out of a back pocket in his trousers.

“Don’t you know they invented this for this very purpose?”

Apo huffs and pushes him on his shoulder.

“Shut up.”

Mile laughs.

“Unbelievable.”

“I don’t really care about having my phone with me all the time…”

“What about money? How do you plan to get home?”

Apo pouts.

“I changed my mind, I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.”

Mile shakes his head and grabs him by the arm.

“Let’s go and join the fight.”

---

By the time they re-join the crowd, they are already drenched. Now that Apo has a weapon he has become a fair game: when he was unarmed earlier not many people dared to attack him with their own water guns. But now that he has the means to defend himself other people are finally allowed to come at him.

“What about you? You were with friends?” he asks Mile picking up their earlier conversation.

Mile pushes aside his wet hair. Apo gets distracted by a single droplet of water on his nose. He has a mole on it too!

“No, I came alone, actually,” he admits. “Most of my friends went home for the holidays but I decided to stay here.”

Apo nods sensing that there is more that Mile needs to say.

“I wanted to...” Mile hesitates. “I wanted to try and do something by myself, you know? I decided to take this opportunity to challenge myself and do something on my own. To see if I could really do it.”

“And now you are stuck with me,” jokes Apo spraying water inside a foreigner’s mouth and then laughing at their outrage.

“It could be worse.”

Apo has beads of water trapped between his eyelashes and he tries to wipe them away with the back of his hand but to no avail. He wishes he had something even remotely dry on him.

“I know what you mean,” he says. “I used to be like that, I mean… I used to believe that I depended on other people, but then I realised that I really…don’t. I enjoy other people’s company, but I don’t need them. It’s my choice to spend time with them.”

“You are telling me you ditched your friends on purpose then?” asks Mile cheekily.

“No!” protests Apo. “Of course not, but the moment I found myself alone I didn’t feel alone. I was fine.”

Apo turns his head and finds Mile looking at him with a…fond expression?

He clears his throat.

“This is actually my first Songkran in Bangkok.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, even though I have been living here for years I usually spend the holidays back home with my family.”

Mile suddenly pushes him aside to spray water on a bunch of foreign girls. He seems to like to target foreigners, especially women.

For some reason, this sours Apo’s mood.

“Where are you from, by the way?” asks Mile.

“Hua Hin.”

“Wow, Songkran must be pretty wild over there too,” comments Mile.

“I wouldn’t know, I mostly spend it at the temple with my family.”

Apo senses Mile’s eyes on him and feels self-conscious. It is always sort of weird to admit to having grown up with a very different lifestyle and mindset compared to most of his peers.

“But don’t worry, this is not my first water fight,” he says to lighten the mood.

“I wouldn’t say,” teases Mile. “You came quite unprepared to join the fight.”

“Excuse me!” Apo cries. “I have a silly shirt, chino shorts and sunglasses and I also put sunscreen on before coming! You came to this overdressed.”

“I have put sunscreen on too, thank you very much!” Mile protests. “I also came with money and a gun.”

Apo makes a funny face, but he doesn’t know how to reply. He turns to the other man instead, shooting water straight at his face making pew pew sounds.

Mile sputters and splutters and squints his eyes.

Apo blows him a kiss before cracking up. When Mile’s expression doesn’t immediately change from indignant stupor, he starts worrying that he might have overstepped, but then the other man’s face contorts and Apo realises that he is trying to fight a smile.

“I admit it,” he says eventually. “It was very stupid of me to come dressed like this. If I wasn’t soaked I would be dying from the scorching heat.”

“Why did you do it then?” asks Apo bewildered.

Mile seems to ponder his answer.

“You know, sometimes I get this urge to…set myself apart from others. I need to be different. So I thought, why should I dress like these youngsters and foreigners on Songkran? Let me stand out.”

Apo can’t help but laugh. Mile sends him a self-deprecating smile.

“Sorry, sorry,” says Apo trying to regain his composure. “It’s actually very cute.”

“My stupidity is cute?”

Apo smiles, endeared.

“Yes.”

Apo can’t tell if the red on Mile’s ears is caused by embarrassment or the sun.

“Anyway, where are you from?”

“Kalasin.”

“And what do you do in Bangkok?”

“I graduated a few years ago and now I am kind of working.”

“Kind of? What did you study?”

“I studied Music Management at Thammasat University-”

“No way, I studied there too! But then I moved to Rangsit to study photography. I am in my final year.”

Mile nods.

“You are quite young then.”

“Young? Not really. I took a few breaks here and there, to travel and you know, find myself. That’s why I haven’t graduated yet.”

“But have you found yourself at least?”

Apo elbows Mile in the ribs.

“Shut up.”

Mile chuckles.

They fall into a comfortable silence. People around them are shouting and laughing and running and singing and dancing. It is weird to stay still amid the chaos but here they are.

Apo’s cheek is hit by a jet of water from Mile’s water gun.

“Ouch.”

“Shut up,” echoes Mile.

Apo smiles to himself.

---

They go refill Mile’s water gun. Apo finds out that when no one is throwing water at him his clothes get dry quite quickly. The sun is strong and he wishes he had brought a hat.

“So where are you ‘kind of working’ at?” he asks Mile.

The other man pumps his gun staring intently at him. When he opens his mouth to say something Mile doesn’t hesitate to squirt water at him.

Apo spits water and a few curses.

Mile winks.

“I figured you were hot.”

Apo dabs at his overheated skin. He is indeed quite hot, to the point he thinks almost longingly about the iced water bucket from earlier.

“I am building my own music label,” says Mile.

Apo whistles.

“Wow, that’s very cool. Do you also sing or play any instruments?”

Mile nods.

“I play guitar.”

“You look like a guitarist now that I think about it.”

Mile smiles.

“In general or a specific one?”

“I bet you want me to say the name of your favourite guitar player but since I don’t know any…”

Mile laughs. Apo feels kind of faint. Is it the heat or the dimples?

The other man suddenly grabs his wrist and drags him through the crowd. Apo does not resist his pull – which is quite a gentle pull he must admit- intrigued but also too weak. Mile fights his way shooting water at anyone who barely looks at them.

Only when he has reached a very small stall he lets go of Apo’s wrist. There is a quite old man sitting on a wooden chair under a parasol selling water and soft drinks.

Mile buys two bottles of water and hands Apo one.

“Thank you very much, P’Mile.”

Mile grimaces.

Apo gulps half of the bottle. It was very considerate of the other man to get him water, he really needed this. Sometimes when he is left to his own devices he doesn’t really take care of himself.

“Don’t look at me like that, I figured you are older than me.”

Mile crushes the plastic bottle with one hand which is both hot and terrifying.

“How do you feel?” he asks softly after a while.

“I am good, thank you.”

Mile eyes him as if he can’t trust his words.

“Follow me.”

“I swear that since I met you I haven’t done much else.”

Mile cocks an eyebrow.

“Is that a complaint?”

His voice is so assertive that Apo gets chills. He swallows.

“What if it was?”

Mile looks less confident now so Apo decides to take pity on him.

“I am kidding, no complaints,” he says, swatting Mile’s chest.

The other man smiles and Apo finds that he really doesn’t mind following him around.

---

Mile seems to be in search of something or someone, marching quickly and resolutely like a man on a mission. As promised, Apo follows him, zigzagging through the crowd, almost losing sight of him a few times. He could have grabbed his wrist, Apo wouldn’t have minded.

Finally, Mile stops in front of a woman who is holding a small bucket with a white and liquidy paste inside.

“Auntie, can I have some?” he asks her.

Apo looks at him in fascination as he wais to the woman and dips his fingers in the bucket to collect some of the clay. Only when Mile turns to him he realises his intentions.

“Can I...?” asks Mile hesitantly.

Apo nods. Why his heart is rabbiting inside his chest for no reason?

Mile proceeds to daub the din sor pong on his face delicately, his fingers light as a feather on his skin, starting from his forehead and then moving to his cheeks.

There is none of the roughness or the wild enthusiasm that Apo has witnessed looking at other people doing this very thing to each other, on the contrary, Mile’s touch is soft and tentative. He is solely focused on the movements of his fingers on Apo’s skin while Apo’s gaze his scanning his face from his thick eyebrows to his dark, dark eyelashes, his round nose with a mole on top, the bow of his upper lip, the dip under the bottom one…

“For good luck,” murmurs the other man. “And to cool yourself down.”

Apo’s skin feels indeed cooler, the sweet scent of the white concoction contributing to this freshness.

Mile finishes with a light touch to his chin and smiles looking at his work.

“Thank you,” mumbles Apo blinking, he then turns to the woman to ask her permission to have some din sor pong as well.

“Allow me to return the favour,” he whispers to Mile.

Why is he whispering now? Are they sharing a secret? Is this a romantic moment?

Apo steps closer to the other man and touches his fingertips to his burning cheeks. His skin is smooth except for a light stubble above his lips and on his chin.

As he spreads the clay on his face, Mile’s dark gaze is so intense that he feels self-conscious, his movements almost stiff.

To diffuse the tension, Apo bops his nose. Mile smiles oh so sweetly that Apo’s tension comes back tenfold.

“Okay, you’re good,” he declares smudging the last of the clay on his forehead.

Mile keeps looking at him as if he is trying to decode him.

“Do I have something on my face?” jokes Apo.

Mile shakes his head.

“No, you are just…”

“Just?”

“Never mind.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

Having said that Mile starts spraying water on innocent passers-by. Back to the fight!

---

There are pools of water mixed with din sor pong on the pavement, walking has become almost a hazard. Apo’s sandals are soaked through and through. He kind of envies Mile and his loafers even if they make him stick out like a sore thumb.

Apo watches as the other man engages in a battle with a few kids. He is laughing out loud with a wild joy that Apo hadn’t seen before. It suits him, this youthfulness.

“Why don’t you pick on someone your age?” he jokes spraying him on his back.

Mile doesn’t react, continuing his battle with the kids instead, and Apo can’t help but miss his attention on him. He is too a kid (albeit an overgrown one) why Mile does not want to play with him anymore?

Too absorbed in his brooding, Apo notices too late that someone is attempting to throw water on Mile from the skywalk above.

“P’Mile!” he cries but he can’t prevent the bucket of – iced -  water from hitting the other man.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” he shouts at the attacker trying and failing to spray him with his water gun from below.

However, when he turns to Mile he needs all his willpower to not laugh on his face: he looks truly miserable, grumpy and shivery. But also incredibly cute.

Mile shakes his head to get rid of the excessive water.

“Oh, you look like a dog,” comments Apo quite uselessly.

Mile glares.

“Sorry if I couldn’t save you like you saved me,” Apo apologises. “It’s very nasty to target people with iced water, by the way.”

“All’s fair in love and water fight,” comments someone who has overheard him.

Here Apo loses it and starts laughing like he wanted to do from the very first moment he saw the shock on Mile’s face after being hit by the literal waterfall.

Mile starts chuckling but he is clearly too cold and offended to do it wholeheartedly.

Apo approaches him.

“Poor baby,” he coos pushing Mile’s drenched fringe out of the way. “I am so sorry.”

“It is very fucking pathetic to be hit by a whole bucket of freezing water, let me tell you.”

Apo smiles at him.

“I am pretty sure it has happened to quite a few people today,” he murmurs. “It would have happened to me if it wasn’t for you.”

Mile pouts.

“It’s so cold and uncomfortable,” he mumbles in a tiny voice.

Apo decides to envelop him in a hug.

“Wait, this won’t solve anything,” protests Mile trying to push him away. “And you will be cold as well.”

Apo tightens his embrace.

“It doesn’t matter, soon we’ll be both dry and warm, I promise.”

He has to position Mile’s arms around his back himself to convince the other man to hug him in return.

“It feels nice, isn’t it?” he murmurs, his warm nose pressed against Mile’s damp and cold neck. He can still smell what’s left of the other man’s cologne.

Mile hums uncertainly.

Apo combs his fingers through the short and thick hair at the base of his skull. The other man whimpers.

Despite the coldness seeping through Mile’s clothes into his own, Apo is invested by a heat wave.

“What do you think about taking a break from the crowd and going to the park?” he suggests.

“Can we eat first? I am starving.”

The mere mention of food makes Mile’s stomach growl. 

Apo snorts.

“Okay, you deserve it.”

He disentangles himself from the hug and starts patting Mile’s arms. It must be indeed quite uncomfortable to be soaked in cold water, clothes inescapably sticking to the skin.

Mile’s hands are still resting on his waist, his water gun digging into Apo’s hip, and his dark eyes are searching his face. Despite having just announced his hunger he seems in no rush to move.

Apo gets hit by the irrefutable fact that Mile is gorgeous.

This epiphany renders him flustered.

“Shall we split? You go grab the food and I go grab some drinks?”

Mile’s hold on his waist tightens. This is the same man who seemed so reluctant to touch him a few moments ago.

“How I am supposed to find you if we split?”

Apo starts feeling hot and bothered, having this man’s hands and eyes on him.

“Do you have separation anxiety, P’Mile?” he jokes.

Mile’s eyes comically widen and he drops his hands from Apo’s waist. Apo feels guilty to have apparently struck a nerve.

“Never mind, I am sure we will find our way to each other,” declares Mile.

Isn’t that romantic, thinks Apo.

---

They agree to meet at the closest entrance to Lumphini Park. When Apo sees Mile approaching he is flooded with relief. The other man got him worried earlier that they would lose each other with no actual chance of finding each other again any time soon. Or ever.

Mile is carrying several small bags of food, while Apo is holding two glasses of iced coffee, his water gun safely strapped to his back. Since the money was Mile’s after all, Apo’s contribution to this meal is basically non-existent, apart from queuing for fifteen minutes at one of the coffee stalls. He will find a way to pay him back, eventually.

“What do you have there?” he asks Mile eager and famished.

“Let’s find somewhere to sit first.”

Apo starts sipping his coffee and hands Mile’s the other glass, but since Mile’s hands are quite occupied Apo ends up holding the glass for him while the other man sucks on the straw.

When did they become so domestic?

Lumphini Park is neither quiet nor empty. It is however way less crowded than the street out there and there is a more family-friendly vibe around it. No one is aggressively throwing water at anyone. The atmosphere is quite chill: people are sunbathing on the grass, eating and drinking, some are praying, others napping.

“I think we have like zero chances to find a bench,” says Mile.

“I would have no problem sitting on the grass…usually. But I am wearing white trousers, so…”

Mile shakes his head.

“Not so proud anymore of your outfit for the day, mh?”

Apo bumps his shoulder against Mile’s to tease him but he almost topples him over.

“Hey, I am carrying our precious food, be careful!”

Apo laughs and decides that he had enough of this useless search for a seat. He plops down on a log. If his trousers get visibly stained so be it…

Mile sits beside him and does not waste a single second before opening one of the bags and diving in. He offers Apo a grilled pork skewer then fetches a chicken one for himself.

They eat in silence for a while, save for Mile’s hums of appreciation here and there.

Apo finds himself in rapt contemplation of a water monitor who has stuck his head inside a concrete pipe on the shore of the lake. Is he scared of the many people who have flooded his natural habitat and trying to hide himself?  Or is he dumb enough to think he can fit in there and return to the water this way?

Despite being engrossed in his theories about a water monitor’s thought process Apo can distinctly feel Mile’s eyes on him. It’s quite thrilling to have those eyes trained on him so intently.

He decides to meet the other’s eyes with a challenge in his own.

“You should be a model,” blurts Mile, then he realises what he has just said and blushes deeply.

It takes a considerable effort for Apo to not burst into laughter and embarrass him even further. He  drinks a sip of coffee instead.

“I used to model on my first year of uni, indeed,” he says.

“I remember, we modelled together once,” it’s Mile’s reply.

Apo’s brain comes to a halt.

“What.”

“What?”

Apo pins Mile with an inquisitive look. The other man looks sheepish. He tucks his hair behind his ear and laughs to himself.

“Ok, I have a confession to make,” he says at last. “I remember you from uni. I knew who you were when I first saw you today.”

Apo has a terrible feeling.

“Do you mean we already know each other?” he screeches.

 “No, not quite,” says Mile with a self-deprecating smile. “We met on the runway that one time and then…”

“And then?”

“And then a few times at the gym.”

Something inside Apo’s brain clicks.

“Fuck,” he curses. “I remember! You were like…bigger back then though.”

How could he forget those thick eyebrows and those piercing eyes? That alabaster skin and those dimples? It’s inexcusable.

However, he has no recollection of their shared runway show unfortunately.

“Yes, I was quite different, sorry.”

Why is he apologising?

“You were hot, man,” he admits.

“What,” whispers Mile and then he turns away from Apo’s cheeky smile. His ears are very red.

“I mean, you still are,” says Apo elbowing his ribs.

Mile turns to look bashfully at him again. He seems at a loss for words.

Apo grins. For some reason, he loves to embarrass him as much as he loves complimenting him. But the two things go hand in hand apparently.

“So, when did you remember who I am today?

Mile looks downwards.

“I told you, as soon as I saw you,” he mumbles. “I recognized you the very moment I saw you there, yellow shirt and yellow glasses, tall, lean and dark, as I remembered.”

 Apo’s heart flutters. Why does he feel flattered? He is trying so hard to not read too much into this.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Mile bites into his last piece of chicken and shrugs.

“I didn’t want to freak you out,” he says. “Plus, it’s not like we really knew each other. Our was an acquaintance at best. You were a stranger to me as much as anyone else in that crowd.”

Apo watches him with curiosity. This man is an open book as much as he is a riddle. He is intrigued.

“Do I have something on my face?” jokes Mile.

Apo smiles.

“Actually, you do,” he says before reaching for Mile’s face to wipe off with his thumb a smudge of sauce right under his bottom lip.

When he looks up to check on Mile, thumb still grazing his lip, the other man looks transfixed.

It’s here that he feels a distinct pull. What if this whole day was supposed to amount to this very moment?

Mile’s eyes seem liquid up close, like deep pools of ink. Apo has never seen anything like this before.

The other man is staring at his lips and Apo feels suddenly thirsty. For what, he doesn’t know.

Mile breaks the spell before he can say something stupid by saying something stupid himself.

“Do you want some banana fritters?”

Apo laughs despite the slight disappointment.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

---

By the time they finish their food, their clothes are almost completely dry. With their bellies full and their lips still shiny with oil from the banana fritters they just ate they decide to take a stroll in the park.

Apo holds the glass with melting ice against his face.

“Are you okay?” asks Mile.

“Yeah, just hot.”

“What do you want to do now?”

Apo ponders his answer.

“I feel like going to one of the concerts, what do you think?”

“Which one? Where?”

Apo laughs.

“I have no idea.”

“Okay, let’s get out of here first and then we can try to book a taxi on the main road.”

Apo follows Mile one step behind, admiring his broad shoulders and the way he walks, so self-assured and confident.

“You know, I thought you were going to be…uptight when we met.”

Mile slows down.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you know…dressed like that with that rich boy aura you exude.”

“But now you don’t think I am?”

Apo pretends to think about it.

“I still think you look filthy rich but you are actually laid-back and fun. Looks can be deceiving.”

Mile laughs.

“Oh, you got one thing right straight away: I am rich,” he says smugly.

Apo pinches his side.

“Don’t make me reconsider what I just said!”

Mile keeps smirking and it’s Apo’s turn to feel shy.

“Anyway,” he says after a while. “Does this rich boy have a girlfriend?”

He cringes internally at the way he put his question, but he can’t swallow back his words anyway.

Mile tilts his head. His hair has dried in the sun and it looks unruly, there are still a few smudges of clay on his face and his shirt is crumpled but he still manages to not look any less put together than when they first met hours ago.

“I don’t, why do you ask?”

Apo shrugs.

“I was just wondering if you had anyone to share all that wealth with,” he lies.

“You can ask me to buy you anything you want, you know.”

Mile’s words literally jolt Apo.

“I didn’t know I had gotten myself a sugar daddy today,” he jokes weakly.

Mile doesn’t reply and here Apo realises that the other man must be quite bad at flirting. If his attempt was flirting indeed and not just some wishful thinking on his part.

They reach one of the park exits. To avoid the hassle of carrying their water guns across the city they had decided to give them away to some kid they have met along the way.

“Let me see if I can find a lift for us,” declares Mile checking the taxi app on his phone. After a few attempts, he announces his defeat.

“There are too many people around and the traffic is crazier than usual, no is one accepting my request.”

“We can try the old-fashioned way,” says Apo.

“What do you-”

Apo stands on the edge of the pavement trying to stop taxis, motorbikes, tuk tuks, anything. They are either full or headed to a customer already.

“Would you even know what to tell them about our destination?” asks Mile.

Apo grabs his forearm.

“Look, that couple managed to stop a tuk tuk, let’s join them!”

After successfully dragging Mile toward the aforementioned couple he stops the tuk tuk driver who was ready to depart.

“Would you mind if we share this ride?” he asks the couple of tourists in an accented English that the two don’t quite understand.

“You don’t even know where they are going,” interjects Mile.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Apo proceeds to inform the couple that they will share the ride to wherever they are going and embarks on the tuk tuk waiing to them to ask for their forgiveness.  

“This is a tuk tuk for two, we won’t fit,” protests Mile.

“There is no such thing as a tuk tuk for two,” says the driver.

“See?” says Apo squeezing inside the small vehicle past the astounded couple. “You can sit here.”

Mile looks at the small seat on the side with horror.

“Or maybe I can?”

Mile clears his throat.

“No, it’s fine.”

He climbs inside the tuk tuk and sits down. They barely fit, Apo is almost too intimately pressed against the unknown man next to him and the vehicle is already tilted on one side.

“You act like you’ve never been on one of these,” he tells Mile, noticing his distress.

“Not on one so crowded. And not on the side. What if I fell on the street?”

“I will hold you,” says Apo grabbing his arm. Mile wraps his own hand around Apo’s arm.

He genuinely yelps when the tuk tuk departs.

“So where are you going?” Apo asks the tourists.

From what he can gather they are going to the Grand Palace.

“Cool, we are going there too.”

“Are we?” asks Mile sceptically and then he gasps when the tuk tuk takes a turn and tilts dangerously and shouts when he gets hit by a stream of water that someone from another tuk tuk has sprayed on his back.

The foreign couple laughs and seems more amused than afraid of the apparent instability of the vehicle. They even start filming their adventure.

Apo realises that he and Mile are now fully holding hands. He smiles to himself.

“This is fun, isn’t it?” he asks squeezing their hands.

The other man has barely time to open his mouth when someone from a passing tuk tuk splashes them with water, the driver swerves, the couple cries and Mile hits his head on the roof. Apo starts to think they might die on this ride after all.

“Oh, baby,” he says soothingly to a disgruntled Mile who is massaging his sore head and clutching Apo’s hand like a lifeline.

The foreign woman notices their intertwined hands and throws Apo a small smile.

“Uncle, what’s happening at the Grand Palace?” he asks the driver after a while.

“Music!” he replies enthusiastically.

“See? We are headed in the right direction.”

Mile nods grimly.

Apo chuckles.

“You are a grumpy one, you know that?”

“I am certainly not.”

Apo raises his eyebrows.

“My butt hurts,” complains Mile.

“You surely look butthurt,” teases Apo.

Mile slaps him on the head but he is laughing at last.

They finally arrive in Sanam Luang and disembark the tuk tuk. Mile ends up paying for the ride for everyone, resisting the couple’s attempt to give him money.

The sun has started to set, casting its orange glow on their surroundings. The Grand Palace has been already lit up and they are brought back to the chaos and noise of this day of celebration after a few hours of reprieve.

“What was your first impression of me?” asks Apo suddenly. This has nagged at him for hours. “When you saw me this morning after, you know, many years.”

Mile sighs.

“Do you really want to know?”

Apo bumps their shoulders.

“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise,” he says. “Oh, wait, was it that bad?”

Mile laughs.

“Shut up, you are just fishing for compliments,” he jokes. “Anyway, uhm, if you must know…I just…I thought that you were as…handsome as I remembered.”

Apo’s heart flutters. He tries to read Mile’s face but the other man is resolutely staring at a point in front of him.

“Thank you?” he mumbles. “I am…flattered.”

Mile casts him a side glance but doesn’t say anything else. Apo wants to grab his hand just to see what he would do, just to understand if he is reading all of this right.

He settles on grabbing his wrist instead, to guide him towards the security checks at the park’s entrance.

“I’ve already told you my impression of you,” he says.

“Uptight, right?”

Apo laughs.

“Yes, but I swear to God, I also thought you were incredibly cute.”

Mile shakes his head, smiling.

“Here I am, a 28 year old man looking cute.”

Apo squeezes his wrist.

“Who’s fishing for compliments now?”

They pass the security checks and enter the park. The music is not as loud as Apo had expected. Not yet, at least. The place is full of people, some of them in traditional clothes from the earlier parade, probably. There are way more older people than he had anticipated.

“Wait, you thought I was handsome in uni, too?”

“Apo…” says Mile in a sort of.. warning tone?

Apo decides to shut his mouth for now, afraid to have pushed his luck.

“Would you like a beer?” asks Mile.

“I am okay, thank you.”

“Not a drinker?”

Apo shrugs.

“Not really.”

“Do you mind If I drink?”

Apo shakes his head.

“No, absolutely not.”

While they are queuing for Mile’s beer, the sky darkens, turning into a light blue canvas with strokes of pink, the golden spires of the Grand Palace a stark contrast against it.

“It might sound basic, but I really love this place,” declares Apo. “Not the Grand Palace per se, but this whole area. It’s my favourite.”

Mile fixes him with an assessing look.

“You know, Phra Nakhon is my favourite district too. I like to drive around here, especially at night, when there aren’t many people.”

“I usually take walks around here.”

“Yes, I could walk…”

Apo chuckles.

Does Mile have the subtlest way to flirt or the bluntest? He can’t tell. Either way, he does not seem eager to make any kind of move. There is the possibility that he is not even aware of the implications of his words.

They finally make their way through the crowd and try to get closer to the stage. The music has changed, its low basses reverberating through their bones.

Apo is on the lead, turning from time to time to see if Mile is following. At some point the other man slides his hand into his and Apo could swear that this was so unexpected that his heart misses a bit. They have held hands already, not even an hour ago, what is wrong with him?

They manage to squeeze through the dancing bodies and find a spot that is less crammed to settle in. This is not Apo’s scene, even if he doesn’t really mind it. He can have fun anywhere if he sets his mind to it, as long as he is comfortable. He feels Mile’s presence beside him, tall and warm and calming.

“You okay?” murmurs Mile into his ear. His fingers let go of Apo’s but in exchange he puts one hand on the small of his back and for a moment Apo forgets how to speak.

He nods.

The air is hot and thick. Some people have brought their water guns and from time to time they get sprayed, finding solace from the heat. There are also water cannons but they are too far away to get hit by their stream.

Apo watches Mile’s Adam’s apple as he swallows his beer and the force of his attraction for this man makes his head spin. When did the other man start to affect him this much?

Mile catches his eyes and winks. Apo laughs and thinks that he hasn’t felt this alive in ages.

He tries to dance to the music but dancing is not his forte and he knows. However, he gets carried away, much to Mile’s delight, judging by his laughter. The other man tries to keep up with him but his dance moves are even worse. He ends up spilling beer on himself.

Apo giggles and turns to face him. On a whim, he decides to put his arms around Mile’s neck.

“You are basically an old man trapped inside a young, hot body.”

Mile raises one eyebrow and rests one hand on Apo’s waist.

“I thought I was just cute?” he jokes.

“Hot and cute can coexist, you know?”

“What?”

It’s not easy to be heard over the loud music so Apo moves closer.

“You are hot and cute,” he says into his ear.

Mile’s body vibrates but Apo can’t tell if he is laughing or trembling.

He takes a step back and searches the other man’s eyes. His look is intense and earnest. When it flickers to his mouth Apo holds his breath.

And yet, Mile simply stares.

“I hope I didn’t ruin your ‘solo’ day,” says Apo in a moment of self-doubt.

“What do you mean?”  replies Mile somehow distracted. He is still looking at Apo with an intensity that it’s almost painful to bear.

“You came here alone to prove that you can do things by yourself and I…disrupted your experiment.”

Mile squeezes his hip. Apo feels lightheaded, that point of touch sending electricity through his body.

“You did not. You helped me prove to myself that I am perfectly capable of getting out of my comfort zone.”

“Do you feel out of your comfort zone even now, P’Mile?”

For a brief second Mile closes his eyes.

“I am out of my depth,” he admits. “I am not really sure…where to go from here.”

Apo’s breath hitches. He decides that this is his opening.

“Should I help you figure it out?”

Mile inhales like he is bracing himself for whatever Apo is going to do.

“Just tell me if you don’t want me to…” murmurs Apo inching closer.

“Just do it,” says Mile urgently or at least this is what he can hear over the noise.

Apo kisses him.

Mile’s hesitation vanishes. He claws at Apo’s back and gives in to the kiss like a starved man. His eagerness lights a fire under Apo’s skin.

They are completely pressed to each other, with no room between their bodies, mostly because of the crowd pushing, but Apo would lie if he said this is not what he wants. Or needs. 

Mile’s mouth tastes like beer, the slide of his tongue against Apo’s is blood-tingling and his laboured breaths more enticing than any other sound he has ever listened to. Despite the loud music, this is all he can hear inside his head.

Apo breaks the kiss only because the need for air has momentarily surpassed his craving for Mile’s lips.

Mile follows his mouth in a daze, giving him just a few seconds of reprieve. They keep kissing until Apo feels something dripping on his feet. It turns out is Mile’s beer.

“I am sorry,” he says, voice hoarse, eyes unfocused, mouth deliciously parted.

Apo swallows. He feels weak with want and, damn, what has gotten into him?

“It’s okay,” he promises, ready to delve into Mile’s mouth once again.

The other man stops him with a hand on his chest.

“Wait, let’s go somewhere more…private.”

“What do you plan on doing to me?” asks Apo with a cheeky smile.

What does he want Mile to do to him?

Mile closes his eyes and inhales.

“We need to talk and it’s impossible here.”

Oh, they need to talk, right.

“Let’s get out of here,” says Apo trying to hide his disappointment and his mounting anxiety.

They need to talk about what exactly?

As they make their way through the crowd, Mile plasters himself over Apo’s back, his free hand on Apo’s lower abdomen, a touch so intimate and possessive that makes his blood boil.

And besides, If Mile is still so keen on touching him it must mean that he’s not planning to ditch him, right?

Apo takes him to the very end of the audience where they can actually hear each other and leans against one of the metal barriers. He can’t help but grab Mile by his belt to draw him closer. He feels like a man possessed, hungry, needy, and this is so not him at all.

“Okay, spill.”

Mile looks at him like he’d rather do something that wouldn’t involve talking at all but then he adverts his eyes and composes himself.

“Ok, so,” he starts. “I like you. I like you very much.”

Apo frowns, dread taking over him.

“But?”

 “No, no ‘but’! I just wanted to say sorry if it took me a long time to come around, I probably sent you some mixed signals today, I just didn’t want to fuck it up with you and I didn’t know if you were up for it. Besides, this is my first time..” he hesitates.

“With a man?” asks Apo softly.

“Yes! But, I am not having a sexuality crisis, far from it. I’ve known I am not straight since…” Mile’s look turns intent and serious. “Well, since you. You were my epiphany. The first time I saw you I…oh my god, it’ll sound so cheesy.”

Apo is confused.

“What are you trying to say?”

“You were the first boy I have ever liked and I’ve never forgotten about you.”

“I was your bi-awakening?” screeches Apo.

Mile stares at him as if he were dumb.

“Apo, have you looked at yourself? I had a crush on you for the longest time without even properly knowing you and I spent my university years in longing and regrets because I never dared to.. do anything when I had the opportunity. But today you waltzed back into my life and I thought ‘I want to finally know if he lives up to my fantasies’ and I must say that you are…even better.”

“Fuck...aren’t you putting me on a pedestal maybe?” asks Apo, half-flattered half-worried. He usually does not live up to other people's expectations. This is a hard truth he had to digest over the last few years of his life.

“No, I am not. You are so beautiful and cool and magnetic and funny. I want to see you again, I want to get to know you. I want to go on dates with you. If you want too, of course!”

Apo’s heart is pounding like crazy. Isn’t this the most earnest speech anyone has ever given to him? Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know how to react to such earnestness that he says what he says next.

“You know what my favourite movie is?”

“No?  I want to…I want to know everything about you.”

 “It’s Before Sunrise.”

 Mile’s face falls.

“What.”

“Well…”

Mile looks stunned.

“Are you…?”

“I am leaving for New York tomorrow,” declares Apo solemnly.

Mile visibly blanches.

Apo cracks a smile.

“No, I am not, I was kidding! Don’t worry, I am going to be here and I would very much like to go on dates with you…”

Mile leans on the barrier next to him and puts a hand on his heart.

“I almost died, you twisted bastard, who jokes about something like this?”

Apo turns to face him and touches his shoulder.

“Did you change your mind? About me? Am I not that amazing after all?”

Was he testing the other man? Did he try to sabotage himself? How utterly stupid of him.

Mile shakes his head.

“No, I did not and…you know what? I would have probably followed you.”

Apo flinches.

“To New York?”

Mile covers his face with both hands.

“Sorry, I sound crazy, I know.”

Apo absolutely disagrees. This man might be crazy, but he found a good match.

“And you know what? I would have probably stayed.”

Mile throws him a small smile then he puts his hand on top of Apo’s.

“I am sorry for the bad joke, you just took me  by surprise with your…honesty.”

“Don’t worry, I say stupid things too when I am embarrassed.”

Apo snorts.

“Okay, fair enough.”

Mile squeezes his hand and Apo knows that he is forgiven.

“By the way, it’s a first time for me as well,” he continues after a while, trying to repay Mile’s honesty with some of his own. “The first time I like someone I just met. I usually make fast friends with people but for me to be attracted to someone, to really like someone…it takes a very long time. But with you…I think we clicked instantly and this has never happened to me.”

“It was destiny then. For me to have a second chance with my long lost boy crush and for you..”

“To meet someone who has reawakened my…libido?”

Mile chokes on air. Too much honesty on Apo’s part, probably.

“Should we go to mine?”

It’s Apo’s turn to choke.

“Listen,” he starts, squeezing Mile’s hand. “As much as I…would like to do the deed with you, I don’t think I am quite ready yet.”

Despite the simmering want somehow still coursing through his body, he knows very well that this is not how he is wired. He knows he definitely wants to have sex with Mile and he knows it will definitely happen eventually, he just needs some time to digest this new attraction and to prep himself, both mentally and physically. While they were kissing there was a moment when he felt that he was going crazy with lust, but now that they have talked he had gone back to his rational self. His burning desire subdued, he feels more in control of himself now, probably too in control to let go of inhibitions once again. Besides, it would be Mile’s first time with a man and he doesn’t want him to rush into things, especially after – apparently – many years of yearning.

“It’s okay, I understand,” Mile replies and he seems sincere.

“Give me your phone, I’ll give you my Line.”

Mile complies.

Apo enters his contact and sends himself a friend request then gives Mile his phone back.

“Don’t make me wait too long before asking me out.”

“I have asked you out already!” protests Mile. “Or wasn’t that clear enough?”

Apo laughs and then takes the other man by surprise kissing him on the cheek.

Mile blushes furiously which is odd considering they were eating each other’s faces not long ago, but also very endearing.

“Take me home?” suggests Apo. “I mean, my home?”

“Right, I almost forgot you have no money and no phone.”

Apo pouts.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know from the very beginning that we were going to end up like this.”

Mile frowns.

“I was hoping we would have ended up in a very different situation,” he says, and then he winces, seemingly regretting his words. “I am sorry, I didn’t even mean what I just said. I actually didn’t dare to fantasize about us until you kissed me but if I have to be completely honest, you are right. I want you so much, that it’s better if we wait. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Apo grabs his hand.

“Stop being scared of fucking this up. We will figure things out as we go.”

Mile smiles so sweetly that Apo realises that he never really stood a chance against this man’s charm.

“We sure will.”