Work Text:
Shauna’s first birthday as a mother was cold and rainy. She had been up most of the night with her eight-month-old son, who currently had a double ear infection. As the Sunday sun rose, he was screaming, his tiny face scrunched in discomfort, while Shauna paced back and forth across the living room, bouncing him and patting his back. His wailing sobs made her heart ache. She glanced at the clock, but there was still at least an hour until she could give him another dose of baby Tylenol, which usually helped to minimise the pain, at least for a while. Shauna blinked back tired tears as she cuddled her screaming baby.
To make matters worse, Jackie was out of town for the weekend on a work trip. When the trip had been rescheduled last minute and Jackie realised it fell on Shauna’s birthday, her eyes had widened in horror. “Oh god, Shauna, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that they’d reschedule — I shouldn’t be missing — I totally didn’t realise. Look, I can ask my boss if I can skip—”
Shauna cut off her stammered apologies with a gentle hand over Jackie’s mouth and told her it was fine. Jackie would be home Sunday evening and they could celebrate then. But now, after two awful, sleep-deprived nights, Shauna was really starting to wish Jackie had stayed.
“Baby, it’s okay. Shh, I know it hurts, but it’ll be okay. Max, sweetheart, you’re okay. Mommy’s here. I’ve got you. It’s alright.” Shauna kept murmuring to him, lips pressed against his soft blonde hair, cradling his head against her shoulder as he cried. His little hands were clenched into fists in her ratty t-shirt. She was so tired and heartsick she was about to cry with him. She’d survived a plane crash and months in the harsh Canadian wilderness, learnt to skin and prepare wild animals just to feed her team. But she was just a kid herself and despite all that, she’d rarely felt as miserably helpless as she did right now, unable to soothe her sick baby. “Let’s try a compress again, baby. Let’s try that.”
It would be a lot easier if she could set her son down, but with his little fists gripping her shirt, it wasn’t possible. So, one-handed, Shauna soaked a washcloth in warm water and squeezed it out until it was just damp. Max was nuzzling his face against her shoulder, now hiccuping sadly, his cries fading to an exhausted whine. Gently, she wrapped the washcloth around the back of his head, making sure to cover his tiny ears. After a moment, his eyes widened in surprise and, slowly, over the next couple of minutes, he calmed down. Shauna felt her tight muscles begin to unknit.
While he was calm, still cradling him against her shoulder, she quickly prepared a bottle, then carried him back out to the living room couch and collapsed. Max was still sniffling. Shauna set the bottle on the cushion beside her, then shifted her grip on her son until she could see his face. It was red and splotchy from crying, framed by the washcloth over his ears. His brown eyes looked at her, a little dazed and, she thought, slightly accusing, as if wondering why this was happening and why his mom hadn’t fixed it yet. She kissed his soft cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetie. If I could fix it, I would. But in about an hour you can have more medicine and that’ll help.” She untangled one of his hands from her shirt and wrapped it around her finger. So she kissed the tiny fingers wrapped around her own and, miraculously, the baby gurgled and smiled. Shauna felt like the sun had broken through the clouds. She kissed his fingers again, then nuzzled his nose with hers and kissed his forehead, anything to keep him smiling at her like that. Finally, she reached for his bottle and settled back into the cushions while she fed him.
By the time Max finished his bottle, the living room was full of golden sunlight and both of their eyes were drooping. Shauna dragged herself up to refresh the warm cloth around his ears, then stumbled back to the couch. She stretched out, laying down with her son on her chest, then pulled a blanket over both of them. Within minutes, they were asleep.
That was how the morning went, Max alternately fussing and resting, Shauna frazzled and sleep-deprived, but trying her best. She managed to eat some yoghurt that served as a sort of brunch before Max started crying hard again, tugging at his ears. That was also the point where Jackie called. Shauna suspected she didn’t handle the conversation well, but between being exhausted and bouncing a screaming baby on her hip, she barely remembered what she said. Once they’d hung up, she carried Max into the bathroom, ran a warm, shallow bath, and plopped him into the water.
Max loved the water. He always had. Any time he was upset, a bath immediately soothed him. It worked now, too, especially as she kept pressing a warm washcloth against his ears. Max smacked the water with his hands and kicked his legs happily. Shauna managed a tired smile. She kept her hand hovering near his back. He was doing pretty good at sitting up by himself, but was still a little wobbly, and she didn’t feel like testing whether he’d magically gained the ability to breath underwater.
She was debating whether or not to get Max out of the bath when there was a knock at the front door. That settled the debate pretty quickly. She scooped her son out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. He didn’t appreciate leaving the bath, which he made loudly clear. Shauna’s head started to throb as she carried the bundled baby to the door. She wasn’t thrilled to have someone stopping by, especially since she was still in her pyjamas and hadn’t brushed her hair since Friday. She gritted her teeth and opened the door.
It was her mom.
“What are you doing here?” Shauna asked in surprise. Then, realising how rude that sounded, she said, “I mean, hi, Mom. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Jackie called me,” Deb said, stepping into the hall and closing the door behind her. “She said it sounded like you were having a tough day.”
A sob caught in Shauna’s throat. “Um, yeah, a bit.”
Deb took one look at her face, then held out her arms for Max. He stopped whining and his face lit up when he recognised his grandma. He stretched out his chubby arms, reaching for her. Deb gently took him from Shauna’s arms. “How about I watch this little one for a while, and you take a shower and a nap, love?”
Shauna swallowed hard and wiped her eyes. “Really? Are you sure? I mean, is this really how you want to spend the day?”
Deb smiled and reached out to give her a one-armed hug, while Max babbled. “I can’t think of a better way to spend any day than with my grandson. And helping my daughter on her birthday.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Shauna managed. “I appreciate it.”
Half an hour later, after the second best shower of her life (nothing quite beat taking her first shower after months in the wilderness), Shauna changed into clean pyjamas and collapsed into her bed.
She had no idea how long she slept, but when she woke up, the sunlight had shifted significantly across the floor and seemed to be setting. At first, she wasn’t sure what had woken her up. The apartment was quiet. Then, she realised the bed had sunk slightly behind her, and she rolled over to see Jackie sitting on the edge.
“Hey,” Jackie said quietly, “sorry to wake you up.”
“It’s okay.” Shauna yawned and rubbed her eyes, then stretched. “What time is it?”
“Almost seven.”
“Almost… seven!” Shauna shot straight up. “Oh my god, I slept almost five hours! Is my mom still here? How’s the baby? What’s—”
“Shauna,” Jackie interrupted, putting a hand on her blanket-covered leg. “Relax. Deb left a couple hours ago, when I got home. I just gave Max some more medicine and he’s in his crib for the moment. I wasn’t going to wake you up, but it’s getting late and I thought you might want dinner.”
Shauna’s stomach growled, which seemed to confirm that assessment. “I could eat.”
“Good.” Jackie smiled and stood, offering Shauna a hand up, which she took.
However, when Jackie turned towards the door, Shauna tugged her back, hugging her hard. “I’m glad you’re home.”
Jackie rubbed her back, then kissed her cheek. “Me too. Come on, let’s eat.”
When Shauna walked into their tiny dining room, though, she stumbled to a halt. There were candles on the table. And a vase of her favourite flowers. And take out boxes from her favourite restaurant all set out. The table was set for two. “Oh my god. Jackie…”
Jackie slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. “Happy birthday, Shipman. I know it was kind of a crummy day, but—”
Shauna cut off Jackie’s sentence when she kissed her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Jackie ran her thumb gently over Shauna’s cheek. “Oh, also I got us museum tickets for next weekend for that exhibition you were talking about.”
“Really?” Shauna hadn’t even realised that Jackie had been paying attention when she mentioned it last week.
“Really.” Jackie smiled at the expression on Shauna’s face. “Your mom already said she’d watch Max.”
Shauna kissed her again. “You’re the best.”
Jackie shrugged, a little bashfully. “You deserve it. You’re doing an amazing job as a mom and just in general. And we should celebrate you, even if things didn’t exactly work out this weekend.”
Shauna really didn’t have a response to that, so she just kissed Jackie again. God, she’d missed her for the last two days. Shauna only pulled away when, down the hall, the baby cried.
“I’ll get him.” Jackie kissed her forehead. “You eat.”
“Have I told you I’m glad you’re home?”
Jackie laughed and kissed her forehead again, then steered her to a chair. “Eat. I’ll be right back.”
Shauna was halfway through her plate by the time Jackie sat down with Max, another warm compress around the baby’s ears, and a bottle ready. While they ate, they filled each other in on their weekends, conferred on whether they thought the antibiotics the pediatrician prescribed were helping their son, and went over a few things going on this upcoming week. After finishing her food, Shauna took Max so Jackie could eat. The baby seemed to be feeling better. He snuggled against her as she rocked him gently, his eyes slowly sinking shut. She kissed his forehead. In spite of everything, it had been a pretty good birthday.