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May 12. How Frey used to hate and dread this very date. That, and her birthday. These days made her feel like an unwanted failure—a piece of trash, left at the Holland Tunnel as an infant. Not worthy of any love, comfort, or security. What kind of mother could do such a messed-up thing?
She used to call it “monster day” and never wanted to give it much thought. But try avoiding it when you’re living in New York. The billboards were always filled with advertisements, prompting people to get something for their “loving mother” and spend some premium quality time with her.
And, not gonna lie, it hurt seeing other girls and their mothers spending time together. It stung extra hard when so many of her foster parents didn’t seem to bat an eye. The most love and attention always went to their own children.
But she was wrong, she was so wrong. After the revelation of her true identity and the truth about Cinta being her mother—how much she loved her and, above all, wanted her—the short reunion they’d shared together… She once more felt drawn to Junoon Castle on this very day.
“May I ask for what reason we’re here? I mean, I suppose this place does have a sentimental value to you now. And I doubt you feel inclined to finally give this place a good scrubbing—”
“It’s the 12th of May.” Frey interrupted him as she spoke in the most obvious tone.
“Not according to the Athian calendar.”
“It’s… Mother’s Day.”
“Hah! Mystery solved. But umm, I suppose that ‘Mother’s Day’ must be a Newark thing?”
“Yes, and, well, not only a New York thing,” she emphasized. “It’s a day when you—wait, Athia doesn’t have a Mother’s Day?”
“Not that I recall. The Athians did have some sort of national ‘Tanta celebration day.’ The Tantas were not only their rulers but, in a way, acted like ‘all mothers.’ They fed them, nurtured them—everything you expect from a mother, I suppose. Hopelessly dependent upon.”
“You sure know quite a lot about Athia and their—I mean, our customs.”
“Oh, you know, know your enemy and all that.” Cuff blurted out in a pretentious, sinister voice. “I spent quite a few years observing your people while I regained my full strength.”
“Observing, huh?” Frey was hesitant. Should she ask him about her mother? But who else could she ask? There was no one left alive who really knew Cinta. But Cuff—Susurrus, her sworn enemy, yet her friend and mentor—probably witnessed her mother in a very intimate way as he was bound to her during the last months of her pregnancy. Frey longed to know more about her. And he was the only one able to provide her with any insight.
“Hey, Cuff… could you… tell me something about my mother?” Fuck, bad choice of words. She expected a quick snarky remark back, but Cuff remained silent for a brief moment.
“Like, what, exactly?”
Frey shook her right arm slightly in a nervous, flustered way. “Oh, uh, well, what was she like when she was… carrying me?”
“Need I remind you that your mother was my captor and enemy? If I could give you a quick summary of it all, she was very agitated and worried, to put it mildly.”
Frey’s gaze saddened a bit. “Right…”
“Well, that was the case in the beginning. It seemed that later on, she… accepted her fate.”
“As if she had a choice!”
“She did that for you, you know? And it was because of you that her resistance to me was… quite impressive.” His voice was surprisingly low and deep.
Frey planned to go once more to the throne room and made her way up the stairs.
“Hmm, I could show you where her room was.”
“Wait, what the hell?”
“Show… her… room?”
“Yes, I heard you! I just… Well, show me, then.” Of course, he’d know where her mother’s room was. But it was something she hadn’t thought of. It kinda threw her off guard. The thought itself of visiting her mother’s bedroom never crossed her mind before.
“Ah, the many times I’ve passed these corridors. We ought to be close now. Ah stop, here it is, to your right if I remember correctly.”
Frey raised her eyebrow slightly. “Are you sure? It doesn’t really look like a bedroom door of a Tanta, Cuff.”
“Pray you tell me then what Tanta bedrooms look like?”
Frey rolled her eyes. Gosh, he could be such a smart ass.
“Right then. I’m very positive. Your mother was rather…humble sometimes when it came to outside outings.”
She took a deep breath and exhaled quickly. “Right, well, here we go.” Frey felt her heart pounding as she touched the doorknob. The thought and the realization that beyond this door is where the Tanta of Love and ruler of Junoon…her very own mother…used to slumber.
A long, loud squeaky sound emerged as Frey opened the door, a gush of dust greeting them.
“No dust bunnies on the Vambrace, if you please.”
“Pfff…as if you aren’t used…to collecting…dust.” She remarked, in between coughs.
“Very charming, Tanta Frey, very charming.” he said in a playful and provoking tone. But this time, Frey didn’t bite back.
Once the dust settled, she was caught in awe. The room seemed relatively untouched by the effects of the break or any severe weather conditions throughout these last 21 years, except for the dust that they were just unpleasantly greeted with.
“You see that mirror there at the left? Ah, the large one in the middle. Your mother would always walk up to it every morning. And greet you.”
Frey slowly walked over and took a long look at herself in the mirror. Picturing what Cuff described to her.
“You humans have the most peculiar of odd behaviors. As if you could hear it all to begin with. Seemed rather purposeless to me.”
“I guess, it would to you.” Frey felt somewhat giddy by his words. To know that her mother always… greeted her, like she was always there with her. It was such a fuzzy feeling.
“Another noteworthy habit of your mother was that her hand, rarely, left her belly. She’d always, ah, gave you a gentle rubbing when she could.”
“Always, close to her.” Frey whispered to herself as she took another glance at the entire room.
The bed almost had the exact same style and design as her crib, except for the ribbons. A big white headrest with, in its center, soft pink cushions. Pure white plump pillows and sheets. It all looked so…inviting. She couldn’t help but to wonder off towards it and to just lay down for a moment.
She stared at the ceiling. And then a realisation hit her. How many times would Cinta have stared at this same ceiling? What would she have felt? Happy, worried, maybe even desperate in the end, causing sleepless terrorizing nights with no one to console her? Frey felt overwhelmed in these thoughts and by the information Cuff had given her. He could have refused to give her any at all. But he didn’t…
“Hey, Cuff. Thanks, for all of this today.” She shifted her body sideways as she let out a yawn. Unknowingly, she rested her hand slightly upon him.
“You’re welcome. But I do expect you to return a favor… in the future.”
She didn’t quite catch what he’d just said. A heavy load of sleep came over her, and she began dozing off. This pillow, she thought. It smelled so nice… of her…
After what seemed to be a few moments, she suddenly felt a weight beside her. Her eyes were still so heavy with sleep… she could hardly open them to investigate what it was. A slight smile formed upon her face as gentle fingers slowly began running through her hair and tucked loose bangs that were covering her face, behind her ear.
“Alfre.”
Frey slightly shifted her body towards the direction from which the voice came, still not really able to make out who it was. “I-I told you to give me a… moment.” Frey mumbled sloppily in between slumbering breaths.
A soft loving chuckle could be heard in response. Then she felt such a warm lingering feeling against her temple, followed by another short warm wave.
“My darling Alfre.”
This time she heard it loud and clear. She slowly opened her eyes, and the blurred image of the figure above her sharpened, her eyes widened as she was greeted by those very same eyes.
“Wait, m-mom!? But how the fu-… I mean…is it…really you?” She slightly got up to take a better look as she still couldn’t quite believe it, what was happening?
Cinta didn’t say anything. Her smile was so warm, so loving. Her arms widened slightly, beckoning and inviting her daughter to just—
Frey threw herself into her mother's embrace. The force tumbled them back unto the soft covers of the bed as Cinta laughed softly and contently.
“How I’ve longed to hold you like this, Alfre. Here, in my arms, in this very room.”
Frey buried her face in the crook of her mother’s neck as Cinta lovingly began to rub her back.
This feeling, it felt so familiar. So much warmth and safety. Was…this what Cuff was talking about? When…she’d…give her—?
“Please, don’t stop… mom”.
Cinta smiled and whispered closely. “Oh, I won’t, beloved. I won’t.”
“I… I’ve always wanted you…” A tear rolled down Frey’s cheek.
“Alfre, look at me.”
Frey could barely do this, she felt embarrassed for crying in front of her.
“It’s alright.” she kissed her forehead and then her cheek, taking away her tears.
“I know… this.”
“Did you know what day it is?”
“Hmmm… yes.”
“How?”
Cinta hugged her as Frey rested her head upon her chest.
“Your father, introduced me to it.”
Frey didn’t say anything… she was so happy.
“Now sleep, Alfre.” She urged.
“Please, just… stay with me, mom.”
“I will be here with you this night until dawn arrives. I promise you.” She gave another kiss on the top of her head.
“Now rest.”
She began to hum an all but too familiar tune, which was Frey’s undoing. She felt her consciousness drift away upon the gentle notes of a lullaby that was so very dear to them.
“I love you, so very much.”
Frey knew that the pain of the loss of her mother would always remain, but knowing that she was wanted and so, so very loved… And encounters such as these, whenever it was just a dream or something else, made possible by their connection as Tantas or as mother and daughter. Mother's Day would never be the same again.