Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The room fell silent. Sera was gone. The rest of the angels on the jury too. Adam…

And Lute.

What are we even talking about, some crack-whore who fucked up already? He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth, this discussion is senseless and petty

Emily shrank in her seat, hugging her stomach. Her eyes focused on the sheet Adam had written, the conditions you had to meet to be worthy of being in Heaven.

Don't be selfish.

Don’t steal.

Stick it to the man.

Angel should be in Heaven. She had seen it with her own eyes. She didn't even know him and she felt so proud. The smile with which he looked at his friends. How he took care of them. How he had defended them from that… moth demon. Despite how powerful he looked, Angel had not hesitated to confront him to keep the little demon safe. Even in Heaven, such selfless acts of bravery were rare.

He should be in Heaven.

Why didn't Sera see it?

Why didn't Lute see it?

She shrank further into her seat. What had just happened? Adam had practically just declared war on the princess of Hell, and had been killing her people for... shiny stars, how many years had these exterminations been going on? How many years had Sera and Adam been lying to her about the real activities of the Exorcist army?

And Lute.

Lute had lied to her too.

No.

Despite her words, despite the conviction on her face, there had to be a mistake. Something with… the deals, right? The deals that ordinary angels made with Adam to become exorcist angels, making them subject to his will. Lute was part of his army, she was obliged to follow her commander's orders, no matter how horrible they were. And surely it was also part of her duty to be so in favor of the exterminations, given that she was second in command. And part of her orders also had to be not to say anything to anyone. It had to be that.

She could believe that Adam wanted to exterminate those demons.

He had never hidden his hatred for Lucifer's kingdom.

But not Lute.

She was a protector.

Not a murderer.

This was all a big mistake.

She took the paper Adam had written and flew out of the room, straight into one of the clouds. She needed time. Reflect on everything that had happened. Find a solution to this whole problem, just like she had promised Charlie she would.

And she couldn't do it if she saw Sera or Adam.

Or Lute.

[…]

“Are you sure about this, dangertits?”

Lute looked at the door in front of her. Her foot was shaking against the floor, so she forced it to stop and crossed her arms. She was being an idiot. She just had to knock on that door, just as she had done hundreds of times before.

Why was she so nervous?

It was ridiculous.

Emily would understand.

She just needed her to see things the way she saw them.

The only truth about Hell and Heaven.

“I have to talk to her”

“Hey, Emily looked really pissed off in court” Adam looked at the door with a grimace “Maybe it's better to wait...”

“No. If we wait, little princess Morningstar's shitty ideas are going to continue in her head. They're going to confuse her more. I need to clear things up now. Make her understand why we do what we do, why our work is so important, and what kind of souls those filthy sinners are.”

Adam looked at her not very convinced. He was so happy that he had won the case in court, and that now more than ever he had a reason to murder the damn princess of Hell, her traitor whore girlfriend, and the rest of the dirty has-beens who lived in that shitty hotel, but that joy was diminished by what had happened with Emily.

She couldn't blame him. Few people had had the privilege of knowing Emily when she was little. Adam was one of them. And Lute could admit that sometimes he was obnoxious and irritating, but even he didn't like the idea of hurting the youngest seraph in any way.

Neither did Lute.

But that was precisely why she had to talk to her.

Adam may have been a part of her life since she was little, but Lute knew her much better. When she was convinced of an idea, it was impossible to change her mind. That's why she had to convince her how horrible demons were, before she believed there really was hope for such corrupted souls and everything went to shit even more.

She could do it.

Emily wasn't stupid.

She would listen to Lute, and understand that those disgusting demons had no salvation.

Of course she would.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

Lute shook her head.

“No. I think she'll be a little more angry with you” She remembered the coldness in Emily's eyes as she watched Adam leave. Probably no one else had noticed. But Lute did. She always noticed “And I think she'll listen to me more. Let me handle this”

Adam shrugged.

“Whatever you want. I'll go fuck one of the virtues until then”

Then, he spread his wings and flew away. Lute rolled her eyes and focused on the door in front of her. Her foot was shaking against the ground again. She forced it to stay still. Stop it, she was acting stupid. Emily was her friend. She would listen to her. And everything would be fine again.

She raised her fist and knocked on the door three times. She wasn't surprised when the door opened almost immediately. Obviously. Of course Emily would know she was coming. Just as she knew Emily's every move, she knew Lute's every move. It was an unspoken perfect synchronicity. The kind that was created in the closest friends.

Just friends?

Shhh.

If she thought about it, it would only make everything more difficult.

Much more difficult.

Lute walked down the halls she had walked thousands of times before. She also knew where Emily would be. She turned to the right, just in time to see one of Emily’s court angels pouring some tea into her cup. The seraph had her back turned to her, so she only saw her long snow hair fall like a waterfall down her back and cover her wings. Emily's eyes were fixed on a book. One that Miguel had given her about the history of Heaven. She took a sip of tea. Didn’t turn back to see her.

But she knew she was there.

Of course she knew it.

“Mily?”

“Lute” Just Lute. Not her nickname. No euphoria. And she couldn't visualize her smile through her voice “Come, come, I was waiting for you”

Alright.

It had been a long day.

She must be tired.

I can do this.

Lute sat on the couch in front of her. Immediately, another of the court angels approached and, without asking anything, placed a cup in front of her and poured some of the tea. She sniffed the air. Jasmine extracted from the clouds. Her favorite. If Emily had asked for her favorite tea, then things couldn't be that bad, right?
Another of the angels left a plate of cookies in the middle of both of them. But Emily didn't even look up from her book. Lute took a sip of the tea and crossed her legs. This was a new dynamic. Emily loved inviting her to tea. But it was the first time that silence had spread between them. Normally, at this point, Emily would already be telling her about one of the bear-paw puppies she had helped take care of that day, or about one of the new births in Heaven, or talking about ideas for the new party she was organizing. With those eyes so bright that reflected all the stars in the sky. And Lute would listen carefully, with a smile, knowing that nothing she could tell was half as interesting and fun as what Emily had to tell her.

But this time Emily kept her eyes on the book.

As rarely, her expression was serious.

Maybe a little confused.

Half a minute of silence.

Then one.

And finally two.

She could not stand it.

“How do you feel?” She had to find something simple to break the ice “Today has been a… different day”

Emily tensed. She had not gone past the page she was on. She knew that Lute would come at any moment, and all afternoon she had been looking for what to say to her, how to approach the subject, carefully, delicately, without directly attacking her… friend, but being firm with the answers she demanded. But the words seemed to have abandoned her, and now her head was full of potential sentences that weren't good enough.

But she knew that the more time passed, the worse it would be. It was better to get this over with.

Anyway, there was nothing to fear. Lute would have a reasonable explanation for her actions, and her words, and everything would be made right. And at the end of the evening, she would be assured that her friend would never hurt an innocent soul again. Then, between the two of them, they would convince Adam to end the exterminations and leave Charlie, her hotel, and her kingdom in peace.

And everything would be fine.

She looked up from the book and put it down on the table. Her eyes fixed on Lute. She was so beautiful that it hurt, with hair that fell a little over her shoulders and the most golden eyes ever. Bright, warm. Her heart skipped a beat, but she shook her head. Sera constantly criticized her for using her heart too much and not her mind, and although she normally complained about that, this time she needed her heart to be calm. Think clearly.

“Yeah. When Sera told me that Charlie was coming to expose her idea of redemption, I never thought something like this would happen” A small smile appeared on her lips as she remembered how excited she had been when Sera gave her the news. It had been yesterday. But those memories felt so distant, stained by what had happened “I was so excited. Demons finding their way… returning here… their true home...”

Lute pursed her lips. At least Emily was still looking at her with her starry eyes. As long as she looked at her like that, everything would be fine.
"It's not their home" Lute replied. “Their home is in Hell”

“I do not believe that” Emily pushed the book towards her “ ‘All of Heaven's creations belong there, and at some point, they will all return to their rightful home. Regardless of the paths, and the way in which they arise, they must eventually return to the first place that gave them the spark of life’ ” Adam and Eve are creations of Heaven. So their descendants are too. They must return here, with us”

“That was before Eve ate the apple. Other books say it. ‘If a soul deviates from the path set to return to Heaven, it will never find it again, so it will fall into an abyss impossible to climb’ Eve gave the possibility to all those human souls to deviate from their path, to lose it forever, and some decided to take the opportunity and drift away from what had been planned for them. Hell is the punishment”

“But what happens if they find another path?” Emily intertwined her fingers. The conversation had not started the way she wanted “That's what it's all about, Lute. The path doesn't matter. Yes, they deviated from the original, and now they are paying the price, but they can find another way. With Charlie's help, they can find the path that will take them to Heaven. You saw it”

Lute shook her head.

“What I saw was a demon who makes pornography getting drunk and putting his friends in danger. Besides, how are you so sure that it wasn't all an act orchestrated by Princess Morningstar to try to convince us to make a mistake?”

“Did that seem like an act to you?

"They're demons, Emily. We can't believe a word they say. They are big fat liars”

And you are too if you kept something like this from me.

No.

It's a mistake.

There must be an explanation.

“Mily…” Lute extended her hand on the table. Emily hesitated for a few seconds, before placing her hand on top of her friend's. “Look... the exterminations...”
"Stop" she whispered.

She didn't want to hear it.

Or did she?

Maybe Lute still didn't see that there was no point in continuing with the exterminations.

She would make her see it.

“How long?” She whispered. Her voice, always so full of energy, was beginning to sound broken. “How long have you been doing this?”

Lute gulped. She didn't want to answer that question. She didn't want to hear or see Emily so helpless, confused, she didn't want her to become more overwhelmed with a problem that had nothing to do with her. She was the seraph of the heart, she had to focus on happy things.

Not on this.

She didn't want to answer that question.

But she knew things would only get worse if she didn't say anything.

More questions, more doubts, she couldn't allow that.

“A little over forty years.”

“Forty years?!” Emily exclaimed. Lute grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. “Forty years... forty...”

How had she been so blind? How was it possible that she was always aware of the exorcists, of Lute, that she spent time with Adam, and that she never noticed anything? That she would see them return year after year, and ignore the true nature of their activities?

Maybe Sera was right. Maybe she was so locked in her world that she didn't realize what was in front of her. And perhaps she should not realize it, because it was part of her job as seraph of the heart. But she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“Emily...”

“Sera said she agreed because they were rebelling”

“Yes. Those were the reports, and I could see it with my own eyes. The first exterminations were the worst” Lute grimaced. “We are invulnerable to their weapons... but that didn't stop them from trying to attack us and defend themselves. And do great damage. They weren't even gathered and they were already a threat, can you imagine what would have happened if they had organized and decided to attack Heaven?”

Her words were not entirely true. It was true that the first exterminations had been the worst, and that demons tried to attack and defend themselves, but they had never been a threat. She had made sure they weren’t. And even if they organized, if they formed a unit to fight them, what chance did they have? They had the weapons that would decide victory.

But Emily had to see what it could be, not what it was, and then she would begin to understand how important the work of exorcists was. Yes, in a war, angels would win, but how much damage could demons cause before that? It was all for the welfare of Heaven, and there was nothing Emily loved more than her kingdom.
“Forty years, Lute” Emily reminded her “Forty years. Don't you think it was enough?”

“No, as long as they hate Heaven...”

"I don't think they hated it before we started killing them every year" Those words tasted bitter in her mouth. In a way, she was also guilty of all those innocent deaths. “But now, so many souls have died...”

“So that is one more reason to continue with the exterminations”

“You're not listening to me!” Emily covered her mouth when she realized she had raised her voice. She shook her head. “I'm sorry, it's just…”

This conversation wasn't going the way she wanted. And she could see why Lute had agreed to be a part of something so horrible, in her own way, she thought she was protecting Heaven. Of course she did, that was her role as an exorcist angel.

But what she didn't understand was why she was so reluctant to listen to her.

And why she kept insisting on this even though a better solution had been offered to them on a silver platter.

“If we only show them violence, of course they will respond with violence. We can't change how they act, but we can change how we act. We are not violent beings, Lute, we are compassionate, merciful beings. We should show them that” Her hand squeezed her best friend's “With Charlie's hotel, we can do that. If we work together... we will show them that they still have a place in Heaven, that Hell doesn't have to be forever and that we are willing to give them a second chance, that is compassion, that is mercy. We do not have to continue a war infinitely if there is another possibility”

“And you think they will accept it? Do you think they won't look for the first opportunity to attack us? To destroy us? They are chaos, evil incarnate, if we show them compassion, they will use it against us.”

“I'm not saying that everyone is willing to give up violence, or to redeem themselves, but I'm sure that at least one will accept the opportunity we are giving them. That is our duty, Lute, to give them the opportunity. Who are we to decide that they stay in hell forever? We don't even know why a soul gets to Heaven!” She was raising her voice again, but this time she didn't cover her mouth “This madness started because you wanted to avoid a rebellion? Good. But it is no the only way anymore. They can change, they can come to Heaven, no more blood is necessary”

Lute sighed. Had she arrived too late? Had this stupid idea already infected her friend?

“Mily … believe me. I understand what you mean. But… if you saw them, you would know it is pointless” She held the seraph's hand with both hands, enveloping it “I have been there. They're horrible, Emily. Even without us, they are violent, they hurt other people, they cause chaos…everything bad you've heard about humanity? It's that, but millions of times worse. And the worst part of all is that they like to be like that. Do you really think they have salvation?”

Emily looked at their clasped hands. Lute's touch had always been warm.

But this time it felt too cold.

“How will we know if we don't try?”

“There are things you don't need to try to know they won't work. This is one of them" Maybe she should give her another push in the right direction? She bit her lip. “If I believed it could work, I would support you, but I've seen it... they are disgusting, cruel, unfaithful, there is no way...”

Emily jerked her hand away.

“Liar”

The word echoed throughout the room.

She hadn't even thought of calling her that.

It just came out.

Maybe because it was the truth.

“What?”

“You say that, if you thought it would work, you would support me, but you are lying” she spoke slowly, trying to ignore the rapidity with which her heart was beating and the words gathering in her throat “You always bite your lip when you lie”

Shit.

“Emily…”

“When we talked about Angel Dust, you didn't even give him the benefit of the doubt. The first thing you thought was that it was an act”

“It could be”

“When Charlie didn't even know we could project an image of whatever was happening in Hell? Or when would we do it?”

"She could have asked him to behave the entire time she was in Heaven."

“But a bar seems like the least likely place to go if you want to fool everyone that you're a good person”

Lute’s heart beat fast. Damn. Damn. Damn.

"You're not even willing to consider the idea of redemption, are you?" She hated every word that came out of her mouth, but she wasn't going to be a liar who pretended everything was fine “And this no longer has to do with preventing Hell from rebelling, does it? Why are you doing this?”

The lieutenant of the exorcists lowered her gaze.

Emily felt like she couldn't breathe.

There still had to be an explanation, despite the lies.

Her Lute was not like that.

“Is it because of Adam? Are you forced to do this because you are part of the army of exorcists? You don't have to be a part of this, Lute. We can find another way together” Her thoughts were racing. “I will show you that sinners can change. Adam is… I love him very much, but I know that he has always hated the entire kingdom of Lucifer. But you don't have to listen to him or obey what he tells you. I can free you from your role as an exorcist angel. I can…”

“Enough”

Maybe she was being too idealistic.

Holding on to the idea that there was something more to Lute.

Something more than killing sinners for the simple fact of being sinners.

Anything.

“It has nothing to do with Adam. Even if I wasn't linked to him, if it wasn't my angelic duty...” Lute stopped before saying the next words. She knew that once she did, nothing would be the same again. But perhaps they had already reached the point of no return. “Even then, I would exterminate them all if I could. They had their chance, they blew it, and they are a filthy stain on creation. They are disgusting. They deserve to die, especially at our hands. And if you knew them, you would see it too”

Have you ever thought you knew someone perfectly, and then you discover something that makes you completely change your view of that person?
And that by doing so, the invisible thread that you always believed united you with her, breaks?

Emily jumped up from her seat.

“Leave, please”

Lute also stood up.

“Mily…”

“Lute, please. I need…” Emily took a deep breath. “I need to be alone.”

A lump formed in the exorcist lieutenant's throat. Was this how things ended? She refused. She hadn't done anything wrong. And Emily would understand that everything was for the good of Heaven, for her good.

She just needed time to meditate. Assimilate everything she had learned in such a short time. When she did, she would realize that sinners had no salvation. That was it. She needed time alone. Without Lute trying to convince her.

“Alright. If you want to talk... you know where to find me”

Emily said nothing as Lute left and flew toward the exit.

She heard the door close.

Everything became silent.

And she dropped into the seat.

She closed her eyes tightly, preventing the tears from coming. There must have been something she wasn't seeing. There had to be a rational explanation for why Lute… she couldn't be killing all the souls just for the sake of killing them. Because she believed she had the right to decide who deserved to live and who deserved to die. It was not good. It was not fair. She wasn't like that. Lute was fair, and she was kind, and the best person she knew and…

She felt like she couldn't breathe.

She had to keep breathing.

It was impossible.

She rubbed her hands all over her face.

How had they ended up like this?