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This Idiotic One

Summary:

Yan Wushi returns in the middle of the night, and Shen Qiao is awake to greet him back with some fluffy bickering nonsense that yanshen are deeply guilty of

Notes:

I haven’t finished qianqiu… waiting for the last book to come out physical copy, but I can’t get them out of my head, so I threw this together in hopes it’ll satisfy the yanshen fandom

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was impossible to sneak into the room of a grandmaster without waking up the powerful martial artist slumbering inside. Normally, sleep was not the choice of rest, but it was meditation that was the first pick, a rest that would not only give the refresh of sleep but also strengthen one’s meridians. But Shen Qiao decided that his bones were sore, and his muscles were beginning to ache somewhat, but also his mind was clouded, and his thoughts were exhausted, so he would rest his entire being for a fresh restart.

 

Shen Qiao was conscious the moment someone entered his room. It was quite unlikely that anyone would disturb him at Xuandu Mountain so boldly. But then he remembered he was not at Xuandu Mountain, that it wasn’t only his room but also belonged to the leader of the Huanyue sect whilst in the Huanyue sect. So, he kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. 

 

Despite the rough temper and personality of the Huanyue sect leader, if he learned he woke up Shen Qiao upon entering the room, he wouldn’t be very pleased with himself. Shen Qiao listened very closely. Though his vision was back—at least, back to as good as it was going to get, he still had some slight troubles—his hearing was still exceptionally alert. One could say he picked up the hearing of an elder wolf pack leader.

 

He lay still and listening.

 

The movements were kept soft and light, but the sect leader could not prevent the heaviness of the noise when he dropped his thick, purple robes down onto the back of a chair. It spoke how strong the man was, to be able to wear something so strenuous all day upon his shoulders and still walk around as if on a thin layer of ice without it so much as cracking the surface—without allowing for even a creak of the frozen water.

 

His feet shuffled slowly, sluggishly. It brought a frown upon Shen Qiao’s ‘sleeping’ face. How tired was the sect leader? Had he gotten any rest at all? Shen Qiao warned him before he left to take care. It would be very tiresome if he had not listened to his advice. When he was ‘conscious,’ he would have to yell at him for not listening.

 

More shuffling. The sect leader was… probably undressing and changing into more comfortable robes. Something thinner and lighter to give his aching shoulders a break.

 

Soon enough, the footsteps gathered to the side of the bed. A hand reached for the edge of the blanket and lifted it up. And a weight was brought down next to Shen Qiao as the sect leader laid beside him.

 

Moments later, a soft kiss was placed upon Shen Qiao’s lips.

 

“This venerable one knows you’re not sleeping.”

 

Oh, well… so much for that.

 

Shen Qiao did not open his eyes, but the tiniest sigh escaped his lips. “How did Sect Leader Yan figure?”

 

With his eyes closed, Shen Qiao could not see Yan Wushi’s lips curve downward. “If you call me the proper name, this one will tell you.”

 

Ah.

 

As Shen Qiao opened his eyes, his lips curved into a smile. He reworded himself, “How did Yan-lang figure this humble one wasn’t asleep?”

 

“You’re almost there,” Yan Wushi teased with an oncoming grin. “Don’t mess up your title now, A-Qiao.”

 

Shen Qiao was already tired of the back and forth game. He knew not to play into Yan Wushi’s hands. Instead, he curled his lip and turned his back to Yan Wushi.

 

Yan Wushi did not like that. Not one bit. He immediately reached out, wrapped his arms around Shen Qiao’s waist, and pulled his back against his chest.

 

“Ah, A-Qiao, you know this venerable one loves to tease,” he began to whisper quietly, lips close to his ear. So close that he surrounded his lips around the top part of Shen Qiao’s ear and bit softly. The tissue turned red from pressure and from Shen Qiao’s own arising embarrassment. “I haven’t seen my lovely husband, whom I love to tease the most, in so long. You can’t turn your back to me for making up for lost time.” His arms tightened around the other’s waist as he whispered deeply, “I’ve missed you,” and he kissed the spot behind Shen Qiao’s ear.

 

Shen Qiao wanted to melt, like a candid haw in the bright sun. He offered a soft sigh and said, “Loosen your hold so I can turn back, then.”

 

Yan Wushi complied. And Shen Qiao was able to turn from one side to the other, now facing Yan Wushi in the dark. The sect leader’s arms then secured around Shen Qiao once more. The latter placed a hand upon the sect leader’s cheek.

 

“Did you even listen to me?” Shen Qiao muttered. As he scolded, his thumb dipped into the dark circle underneath Yan Wushi’s eyes.

 

“Hah? I just did; I let go some and you’ve already turned. What’s the issue?” Yan Wushi frowned and added, “Do you need to turn some more?”

 

Shen Qiao shook his head. “I instructed the sect leader to take care of himself but based on your complexion and the sound of your movements, your body is weak.”

 

“Weak? This venerable one is by no means weak.”

 

“That’s not what I was referring to, Yan-lang.”

 

Yan Wushi knew and was playing dumb. Only at the proper name of ‘Yan-lang’ did he cease his way of avoiding this topic.

 

“This venerable one said he missed you, no?”

 

Shen Qiao nodded to confirm. As he listened, he tucked some loose hair from the other’s deep obsidian locks behind his ear, out of the way of his strikingly handsome face.

 

“This venerable one missed you so that he traveled for so long with no breaks to get here as quickly as he could.”

 

“…Idiotic.”

 

Shen Qiao was the only man—no, the only person who could ever say such things about Yan Wushi to his face without being met with the gates of Hades. He was the only person who would receive not death by saying a comment like so, but instead, a soft and tender smile.

 

“Then this venerable one should change his title to ‘this idiotic one,’ mhm?”

 

“Ah,” Shen Qiao said in surprise at first, but then he laughed, his own hand covering his mouth. But as he moved, another hand grabbed ahold of his wrist, and lips pushed against his own. The laugh from him was stolen away in a kiss.

 

“To make you laugh and have you cover it, it’s stealing this idiotic one’s prize for such an accomplishment, is it not?”

 

Shen Qiao rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

 

“I get back, only just now, and you’re already scolding me,” Yan Wushi said childishly with a pout. “Did you even miss this idiotic one?”

 

How long is he going to refer to himself like that for, mm?

 

“I did,” Shen Qiao admitted.

 

“You haven’t kissed me once.”

 

“I have.”

 

“Not on your own. It’s just been me.”

 

“Would you like this humble Daoist to deliver a kiss?”

 

“I would.”

 

Shen Qiao smiled. He first took Yan Wushi’s chin in his hand, and then he leaned forward, lightly pushing his lips against the other’s mouth. For a moment, he did nothing, but then he added a bit more pressure and slipped his tongue out carefully, slowly, almost in a teasing manner. Shen Qiao’s kisses were always much like his personality: soft, careful, delicate, beyond-beautiful—was that a personality trait? Ah. It didn’t matter. He kissed like an angel would, with a gentle push and overwhelming passionate energy, with eyelashes casting down so long they brushed against the closed lids of Yan Wushi’s eyes.

 

It was not easy to make the leader of the Huanyue sect shiver, but Shen Qiao did.

 

“Mm,” Yan Wushi hummed against his lips, out of tease, because he licked his lips when Shen Qiao pulled away and whispered, “Delicious.” 

 

“Shameless,” Shen Qiao grumbled, his cheeks dusting a light and fair pink in the dark.

 

“Shameless this, shameless that; if I’m evil for liking the way my husband tastes, then I must be the worst around.”

 

“You do hold that reputation,” Shen Qiao said quietly. 

 

To Yan Wushi, these words made him smile and only made Shen Qiao sigh. But with a smile, at least. Before, long when he hated Yan Wushi and everything he stood for, he might have meant his sighs with a strained moan and a desire to get three worlds away from him, but now, he meant it in an endearing way, enough to where he reached out and held his husband’s cheek in his hand. Yan Wushi’s face easily nuzzled its way to Shen Qiao’s chilled palm, and he closed his eyes gently.

 

Shen Qiao felt a grin on his face.

 

“Mm, what’s that look for, A-Qiao?”

 

Aren’t your eyes closed? Shen Qiao still whispered an explanation. “How would the humble disciples of Sect Leader Yan react when they knew you acted like a puppy behind closed quarters?”

 

Yan Wushi did not falter. His eyes peeled open, revealing the dark purple that circled in his pupils as he made eye contact with Shen Qiao in the dark. He could see the man clearly, but Shen Qiao had difficulty in the dark. Knowing this, and wanting him to look back at him, Yan Wushi reached up to his own face to place his hand to the back of the other’s hand on his cheek and allowed some energy to course through, temporarily perfecting his vision in the dark. Immediately, with a line of shivers through his arms, a jolt in his chest, and a swift swirl in the back of his retina, Shen Qiao could see the handsome face staring back at him. 

 

“This idiotic one only has two disciples: Bian Yanmei and Yu Shengyan. Both have seen you. If anything, they would understand my pampering toward someone as beautiful as you. If not, I’ll have some discipline to put out.”

 

Quick! Too quick. Shen Qiao cast his eyes down to avoid looking at Yan Wushi.

 

“You—” Shen Qiao wanted to turn around again, but damn, was Yan Wushi’s hold on him so tight… The sect leader noticed his squirming and frowned.

 

“You said you missed this idiotic one, yet you attempt to wiggle your way out from my hold. Doesn’t it go against the Dao to lie?”

 

“As I’ve already said, it does not,” Shen Qiao shot back. He had already explained himself once, so Shen Qiao would not do so again. Especially since the first time had already been a response to his teasing before.

 

“So, would you continuously lie to this idiotic one?”

 

“If you are as idiotic as your new title claims, I will not have to.”

 

“Ah! A-Qiao, your words are sharp,” Yan Wushi said with a low chuckle. “Where did you learn this?” Before Shen Qiao could reply, Yan Wushi’s moves were quick and swift. He couldn’t even lock his lips in time! Yan Wushi’s fingers darted forward to Shen Qiao’s mouth, slid inside, and grabbed his tongue, his pointer finger and thumb pressing together. Tears welled up immediately in Shen Qiao’s eyes. “If you don’t be careful, you’ll bite your tongue.” He hummed in amusement and added, “You let your guard down around me, A-Qiao, that your normal qinggong wasn’t quick enough for a mere tongue-pull.”

 

‘Tongue-pull.’ Don’t say that as if this is a normal thing to do or as if it’s a thing people say! Shen Qiao swatted the other’s hand away, to which the lect leader let go. He pushed a palm on the man’s large chest with a twisted expression. “Don’t grab my tongue.”

 

“Would you much rather I use my own tongue to grab yours?”

 

“Frankly, I don’t want you to do it at all,” Shen Qiao grumbled.

 

“Oh, but A-Qiao, the noises you make when I do,” Yan Wushi spoke, dropping his voice, leaning closer, “it only tells this idiotic one how much you like it.” 

 

Shen Qiao could fight against Yan Wushi. He was probably the only one who could spar with the man and come out alive. But still, despite that, he let Yan Wushi force him back. The strong and large palm pushed on his shoulder, back on the bed, and his frame moved over top of him. 

 

Though Shen Qiao was half a head shorter than Yan Wushi, the sect leader’s frame was bigger. He loomed over him, suffocating, the only thing he could see. His vision had gone back to cloudy and somewhat blank without Yan Wushi’s assistance, but he could at least make out the shape over top of him. He placed his hands on his shoulders, feeling the muscle through the light fabric of deep purple. Slowly, his arms snaked around and tugged Yan Wushi down to meet his lips.

 

Weren’t they bickering moments before? Ah, Shen Qiao couldn’t even keep his mind straight, couldn’t even remember ‘hey, we’re fake arguing right now. Don’t let him have his way.’ When Yan Wushi moved over him, he had also shoved aside Shen Qiao’s anger.

 

Yan Wushi kissed him with a fierceness to start. Always. It was Shen Qiao who had to lean back from the kiss and remind him: “Yan-lang, no need. This humble Daoist is not going anywhere. What do you have to fear? Why must you rush?” and then, Yan Wushi would slow down his kisses, even his touches would get lighter. The way his body rolled and moved, shook over top of Shen Qiao, leaning down and kissing him deeply. Not rough, just deep and slow, a way that made Shen Qiao sigh out a breath of content, relax his body, and let Yan Wushi’s tongue travel wherever.

 

“Yan-lang…” Shen Qiao mumbled against his tongue. His fingers hooked and curled around the long, obsidian hair mixed with the strands of white, as if he was over seventy. Being kissed so gently, Shen Qiao grew tired, like he was being coaxed to sleep. He hummed, his touch getting weaker, and pushed his head back into the pillows. “Yan-lang, this is what you want to do right when you get back? Does all this venerable one think about are indecent thoughts?”

 

“Mhm, I am not a venerable one anymore.”

 

“I’m not calling you that,” Shen Qiao muttered.

 

“You had no problem starting it, A-Qiao,” Yan Wushi teased, dipping his head into the crook of Shen Qiao’s neck. As much as he wanted to pleasure Shen Qiao until the sun rose in the morning, he was also one to listen to his husband, and he was also, genuinely, quite tired from the trip back to him. So, he let himself lay down on top of Shen Qiao, breathing in the other man and how much he truly did miss him. When Shen Qiao responded with the silent treatment, Yan Wushi chuckled tiredly, wrapping his arms around Shen Qiao. “This venerable one will sleep, then, if that’s what his A-Qiao so wants.”

 

“Silently sleep.”

 

“Mm,” Yan Wushi grumbled with a slightly defeated tone.

 

Though kidding—half-kidding—Shen Qiao laughed softly and patted the other’s head. “Alright, alright. Sleep softly, my Yan-lang.”

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