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2015-12-31
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To My Dream Lover

Summary:

Sagume begins having dreams unlike any she's had before. During her frequent visits to the dream world, she falls in love with the girl who's always there.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Sagume never expected that she’d become so close with the baku of the dream world.

Occasional visits leading up to the incident on the moon were simply business–she would check up on Doremy and see how the plan was progressing, careful with her words so that she would not soil her own strategy, but still giving commands in a professional and effective manner. Then, of course, the humans began to investigate. Sagume’s plan failed, but the incident was at least resolved. And so, she thought, there was little reason for her and Doremy to continue any sort of friendship or even further business relations.

However, in the aftermath of the chaos, it seemed as if Doremy had taken a liking to her.

Now, Doremy was the one who often visited the goddess. Or at least Sagume thought–she was becoming perplexed with the whole ordeal with each passing night. She normally slept dreamlessly, but recently, vivid and sweet dreams had begun to enchant her. Bedtime had quickly become something to look forward to. Each and every slumber had suddenly transformed from a once emotionless abyss to a wonderland of endless possibilities.

Of course Sagume knew that her acquaintance with Doremy must have been one of the reasons as to why she was experiencing such delightful dreams. This started immediately after their initial meeting, after all. She had mentioned how it was rare for her to ever dream at all, and Doremy commented that she, as ruler of the dream world, could hardly imagine a life lacking dreams of any sort. Nonetheless, at first, it was only somewhat of a possibility to Sagume that her ability to dream was a direct result of Doremy. Perhaps it was a coincidence, or perhaps Doremy had somehow indirectly granted her the ability to have dreams again. Perhaps meeting an eater and creator of dreams was simply good luck for her tiring subconscious.

But her dreams were gradually becoming more interesting over time. Much, much more interesting.

A glimpse of a red nightcap or a long, hairy-ended tail peeking out from behind a corner were the first signs of her sneaky presence. Sagume would take note of these things and see them as being purely coincidental–after all, she knew Doremy personally, and it was quite normal for one to see familiar people during sleep. Then, she’d be able to single out Doremy’s face in crowds of typically meaningless figures, and her soft chuckle in the distance would reach her ears. Eventually, Doremy began to outright approach Sagume and talk to her, conversing with her about the events of a specific dream, or simply asking how she was feeling at the moment. While the only conversations she held with people in her dreams were usually mystical and nonsensical, she realized that those she had with her felt so much more real, so connected, something that surely couldn’t be a pure figment of her imagination. It finally occurred to Sagume that this was Doremy’s way of becoming closer with her.

Upon having this epiphany, whenever Doremy made her presence known, Sagume found herself reverting back to her way of acting outside the dream world. While dreams had become an escape from her inconvenient abilities regarding speaking of events, knowing that Doremy was a real, living being who truly existed within that dimension made her wary of doing so much as opening her mouth. She had learned the hard way that letting her guard down for a mere moment could lead to her downfall; in times that reminded her of such lessons, she reached at the left side of her back longingly, aching to feel her soft, comforting feathers once more, unfortunately to no avail.

Doremy seemed to have caught onto her changing behavior within a fairly short period of time. One night, when her and Sagume sat on a bench made of chocolate in a park that supposedly existed on a faraway planet, she offered reassurance. “Listen, Sagume,” she began, keeping steady eye contact. “I probably should have told you this earlier, but since this is still a dream, my being here doesn’t bring your abilities into effect. If you were to visit me, you would have to hold your tongue, but as long as I continue to visit you, you don’t need to worry about a thing.”

Sagume tilted her head. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well then,” Sagume said, turning to gaze across the bright azure expanse of grass. “If it’s safe for me to say this… I’d like to keep having dreams like this. With you visiting me. It’s less lonely this way.”

Much to her relief, the very next night, Doremy appeared by her side as she strolled through a forest of cardboard trees. “See? I told you.”

 

Doremy’s visits became much more frequent, and Sagume grew to appreciate every moment they spent together. The endless possibilities of the dream world had truly been a blessing–socializing was never an option for her when awake, but now that there was someone who she could talk to without needing to pause or lower her voice as much as possible, she seemed to finally be developing a positive relationship with someone.

In addition, as a result of being able to focus on things other than precisely planning every single word she was to say, she took note of the more exquisite details of the baku. The way her silky blue hair fell onto her shoulders when she removed her nightcap, the gestures she made with her hands as she spoke, how she would accidentally snort while laughing and become embarrassed while continuing to laugh, her sweet, sugary scent… With each new dream that her mind conjured for Doremy to waltz into, she was growing ever fond of her company. This was intriguing development. What little friendship Sagume had known was never as close as her connection with her, and she was beginning to wonder if there was something beyond friendship beginning to seep into her mind.

She did not question or challenge these feelings, though, deciding that they might eventually fade away on their own. Her and Doremy were solely close friends for the time being. On one night in particular, when Sagume dreamt of a dazzling festival in the Lunar Capital, they walked together through the streets and had a seemingly endless conversation about their favorite types of foods. Another time, she dreamt of an extravagant boutique, and they tried on elegant dresses together. Whenever Sagume’s dear companion made an appearance, she smiled the most genuine of smiles, and Doremy could always tell how happy she was, commenting how it was such a sweet look on her.

Her dreams never seemed to change from the same old patterns of whimsical, faraway lands and going on adventures with her dream friend, but that was enough to make her cherish each and every bedtime. On the bright side of things, she was going to bed much earlier than usual, and woke up much more well-rested in the mornings–although, on a more adverse note, her desires to slip into the dream world became a frequent means of escape from anything troubling her in her own world. Certainly, Doremy did not always appear to her, but the mere chance of such a thing happening was enough for Sagume to give it a try and take a nap, or to have a prolonged slumber, sleeping in until she could no longer do so. To some extent, she was doing herself harm by indulging in these dreams.

Evidently, Doremy attempted to convey such a message to her, concerned for her health. “Sagume,” she said. “Did you know that I like to make desserts in my free time? Look, I baked you a pie.” In her hands suddenly appeared a large chocolate pie with an enticing overload of whipped cream, and she held it out for Sagume to take.

Sagume blinked twice at it, rubbing her chin. “Thank you, but… How are we going to eat this?”

Doremy handed the pie off to Sagume, and two forks appeared in each of her hands. “Here, one for me, one for you. Dig in!”

Her expression then fell when Sagume simply chuckled and set the pie down on an abandoned giant tortoise shell. “People can’t eat an entire pie by just ‘digging in,’ you know.”

“And why is that?”

Sagume narrowed her eyebrows. “Well, it’s not very healthy to eat so much pie at once.” Sitting on a rock covered in pink and blue polka dots and crossing her arms, she added, “Too much of a good thing can be bad for you, you know.”

Doremy’s mouth opened in a gasp before she wistfully smiled. She turned to overlook the foaming, bubbly pink river they were both on the bank of.

“So, you understand, right?”

 

Nonetheless, Sagume did not heed her warnings.

Dream after dream gradually became her only memories worth preserving. She could hardly believe how dreary her existence had been before she was able to escape to such an incredible world. Eventually, within her dreams, she could even reach to the left side of her back and feel those feathers once more, and when she was able to stretch out both wings on either side, she truly and completely felt like herself again.

And then, on top of that, Doremy’s presence drew ever closer.

When she wanted her to come and see something extraordinary, she took Sagume’s hand into a light grasp and dashed off with her. They would laugh together, and she would hold onto Sagume’s arm, affectionately leaning her head on her shoulder. There was the occasional intimate moment where she would give her the purest of smiles and giggle before leaning close and saying in a hushed voice, “You know, this is a lot of fun.”

Sagume was unsure of her intentions, but almost absentmindedly began reciprocating–she’d offer Doremy her arm as they walked along bizarre pathways, or dance with her, or give her hugs that were long and tight and tell her how much she appreciated her. It became a back-and-forth game of mutual flirting in no time at all. Sagume was aware of this, but went pleasantly along with the flow of things.

Brief hand holding evolved into twining their fingers together as they wandered through different universes. A soft nuzzle became sitting together and galaxy-gazing while leaning on each other. Hugs grew to be cuddling. Silly dancing was soon passionate waltzing while staring intently into each other's’ eyes. Sagume could no longer deny her developing feelings, and when she woke, all she could wonder was how in the world she would ever be able to tell Doremy how she felt.

By this time, fellow Lunarians had taken notice of the fact that Sagume was not out and about as much as she used to be. Sure, she was a loner, and many avoided her given that she could change their lives if she ever misplaced her words. But her presence in the Lunar Capital was, at the very least, a part of everyone’s everyday lives. When she made brief visits to stores in between dreams, anyone she did as much as glance at would remark how they hadn’t seen her around in so long, or ask her if everything was alright. She gave most everyone a simple nod  and scurried off without thinking twice about it. After this occurred a bothersome amount of times, though, Sagume acknowledged how much time she truly had spent asleep.

When she arrived home again after one of these days, a glimpse of her reflection–her hair frazzled and the skin around her eyes dark–was enough to make her realize that remaining cooped up in bed was no longer an option. If she wanted to tell Doremy every last detail about her love-stricken emotions, there was only one correct way to do it–up front and in person. After all, Doremy had become the one fantastic detail of every dream that made sleeping constantly so worth it, and being able to embrace her truest form would be enough to snap her out of the dazed trance she found herself bound to.

When she made this decision, she was determined to go see her right then, but observed how far the little hand on the clock had gone, and thus decided against it. Since it was already much too late to be out and about visiting anyone, perhaps she could meet her in the dream world one more time.

She picked up her alarm clock, setting it to go off first thing in the morning. It had grown awfully dusty.

 

That night, she had the most mesmerizing and vivid dream of all.

At the very start, Doremy had grabbed her hand, holding on to it as they walked through a field made of fluffy, many-colored clouds. Sagume glanced down at some point during their walk, and noticed small, fluffy flowers growing from the strange ground. She plucked it, turned to Doremy, and placed it in her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “It looks good on you,” she said, grinning.

Not too long afterwards, they began to frolic through the clouds, chasing each other and laughing playfully. Whenever Sagume caught up with Doremy, she’d simply tap her on the shoulder and dart in the opposite direction, but Doremy claimed victory by pouncing on Sagume, taking her down on the soft ground while shouting, “Gotcha!”

But most memorable of all was their conversation while lying next to each other. Watching the sky above change in color from orange to purple every few minutes, Doremy’s head nestled in Sagume’s shoulder as she leaned her own head on hers, they murmured tender and comforting words to each other.

“Doremy… I love being able to finally talk so freely to someone like you,” Sagume sighed. “As much as I know I can’t be dreaming all the time, I’d love to stay here with you for as long as possible.”

Doremy softly chuckled. “Reality’s harsh, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it really is.”

Doremy then sat up, leaning over Sagume, brushing her long blue hair behind her ear and smiling. “I don’t mind keeping you company either way, you know. I love being with you too.”

Sagume beamed. She reached up and ran her fingers through that silky hair of hers, whispering her name, “Doremy…”

Doremy giggled in response. “Here,” she said as her face turned pink. “Let me give you something extra sweet.”

When Doremy’s lips finally met hers, Sagume savored the feeling, closing her eyes and holding her gently. Their saccharine taste was one she would surely never forget.


Doremy nearly jumped in surprise when she heard the doorbell ring. Who in their right mind would be visiting her? It was rare for people to visit, especially considering the dream world was such a nightmarish place for those in their physical body. It had to be quite early in the morning, too–there were still many Lunarians dreaming, so she wondered if it even made sense for her visitor to be one of them.

She opened the door, prepared  for it to be some early mail or someone who needed to borrow some sugar, mumbling, “Yes, good morning, what is it, I have dreams to–”

When she then realized who was standing on her doorstep, she cut herself off. Her eyes went wide in shock as she scanned the taller figure up and down.

Before her was none other than Sagume Kishin. She grinned almost goofily, a bouquet of roses in her arms, and appeared a little tired, but also as if she had put some extra effort into her appearance. “Good morning,” she said with a wink.

“Oh, um, good morning!” Doremy replied, nodding. “I didn’t expect to see you here, especially at this hour… How are things going for you?”

“Absolutely splendid. And you?”

“Alright, I suppose…” She trailed off, unable to take her eyes off of the large assortment of flowers. “…My, what’s the occasion?”

Sagume looked down at the arrangement, chuckling. “I got these for you as thanks for all your help.”

Doremy was silent for a moment before her eyes lit up. “Oh, you mean, the dream thing! How I helped you with your dreams!”

“Yes, of course!” Sagume giggled as she handed the flowers off. Doremy clumsily struggled to keep them all inside of the wrapping as there were so many flowers inside.

Sagume opened her mouth again to speak, at ease due to the sight of Doremy’s face, but reminded herself that she was no longer in the dream world and had to carefully choose her words. She hesitated anxiously for a moment before clearing her throat.

“Your company truly has brought me happiness, as you already know. Our friendship has been steering off into a different direction for a while now, and I know how you feel, so… I’m here to tell you that I reciprocate your feelings.”

Doremy stood dumbfounded with the roses still in her grasp. Her jaw dropped, and her cheeks became awfully hot. Sagume saw this reaction, knowing she was waiting to hear the most important words she had to say, and so she clenched her fists as she took a deep breath.

“I… Love you, Doremy,” she declared.

Doremy was speechless. Absolutely,completely speechless. She could only stare in awe at Sagume, who was practically trembling and definitely on the verge of tears.

But after a few moments, Doremy fixed her gaze upon the floor. “Miss Kishin, I…” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Sagume found herself at a loss for words as well. What in the world was she talking about? Why was she referring to her as “Miss Kishin?” She let out a nervous, forced laugh, and stammered, “Y-You’re such a joker, Doremy! I’ve always liked that about you!”

Doremy was still perplexed, and inquired further, “Miss Kishin, I really have no clue what you’re talking about. The last time I saw you was right after the incident was resolved. When did we become… This close?”

Sagume forced another laugh, this time as an overwhelmed, confused tear slipped from her eye. “In my dreams, of course!”

As she stretched the laugh out for an unnatural period of time, Doremy finally realized what was going on. She gave the flowers one more look, noticing a small card attached to them that read, “To my dream lover.” An aching pity tore at her chest, and she felt her own urge to cry as well. “Miss Kishin…” she murmured. “I’m… So sorry. I must’ve overdone it when I created those dreams for you. I didn’t mean for them to be that vivid…”

Upon hearing these words, Sagume allowed her laughter to fade to silence. There was no more use in denying the truth. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, but could no longer prevent new ones from forming, folding her arms meekly as she stared into the eyes of the regretful baku.

Doremy shook her head sorrowfully. “You’ve probably been seeing me in your dreams frequently. It must have been more realistic than a normal dream. I’m so sorry, when you told me you rarely had dreams at all, I wanted to grant you that ability, but I suppose I wasn’t keeping careful watch over the worlds you began to create…”

Sagume gulped. “So… Everything I experienced with you…”

Doremy sighed again–this was definitely a tragic situation, but she had to tell her the truth of the matter outright. “It wasn’t real. It was all just a dream. That wasn’t really me. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Sagume’s heart was completely crushed by each of these words. How had things turned out like this? How had she been so foolish? 

 “Dore–” she hoarsely began, catching herself, recalling that they truly weren’t on a first name basis after all. “…Miss Sweet,” she corrected. “I’m sorry too.”

Seeing such a distressed Sagume, who was normally so serious and composed, broke Doremy’s heart. “Don’t be,” she assured. She then reached up to stroke her cheek and wipe away some tears, giving her a sympathetic smile that only made her want to cry even more. “You’re a very beautiful woman, you know. I’d love you if I could.”

And because Doremy hated seeing someone like this in a state of disarray so much, she leaned over and planted a small kiss on her tear-stained cheek. Sagume smelled the scent of her hair, and, upon realizing it was the same as it had always been in her dreams, had to cover her mouth to hold back a particularly loud sob.

Doremy could see that she was still quite shocked, and wanted to cheer her up as much as possible. “Would you like some tea or something? Maybe something to eat? Really, is there anything at all I could do for you?”

Sagume sniffled, slowly backing away. “No, I’m fine. I shouldn’t impose myself on you any further. Please, just… Forget this ever happened. So I can, too.”

Doremy reached out to her again, but Sagume only lurched back further, clenching at her arms and shaking. “Please…”

There was so much more Doremy wanted to say, so much more she wanted to ask of her. But for the time being, she lowered her hand, swallowed her questions down, and nodded firmly. “Alright,” she said. “If you ever need anything, you can come to me, okay?” Giving her a final smile, still as apologetic as could be, she sent her off, “If it’s any consolation, I’m sure the me in your dreams would say ‘I love you, too.’”

With that, she closed the door behind her. For the next few minutes, she would stand there, her face buried in her hands; this job truly was immensely difficult at times.

All the while, Sagume stood keeled over on the porch, sobbing silently through gritted teeth. To think, she had become so disgustingly engrossed in those dreams, believing that Doremy had truly appeared to her, all for nothing. To think, she had been stupid enough to let her guard down again. To think, everything was a lie. To think.

That night, when Sagume fell asleep, she dreamt of absolutely nothing once more.

Notes:

Yay angst! I'm not used to writing things other than fluff at all, so I hope I did a decent job with this.
This ship is pretty good for angsty stuff, but I do love a good amount of DoreSagu fluff too... Maybe one day I'll write something a little sweeter to make up for this.