Work Text:
In front of the flashes
“Hao hyung, it’s time to go, the fans won’t wait for us forever!” Matthew yelled in a hurry through the dorm corridor. “The car is already here!”
Hao shook his head and stood up. His legs did hurt a bit but he was okay. He didn’t fall or anything, he just sat there, staring at nothing so long that he forgot he was supposed to leave for a group schedule and now he had sore legs from the lack of movement. He painfully left his room to join his members outside. The dorm was messy and he was pretty sure Jiwoong and he asked the youngers to clean up earlier this week but his head was at least as messy, he couldn’t exactly remember. Matthew was still standing in the doorway, waiting for him, a big smile on his face. As usual. Matthew was always like that, smiling and waiting for people, never leaving anyone behind. It’s something Hao really liked about him. He wasn’t sure Matthew was even aware of it. He mentally noted to tell him about it one day as he put on his shoes and a minute later he was finally seated between Gyuvin and Ricky, last place available for the late comer. The car left for the schedule and Hao sighed. It was going to be a long forty minute ride.
ZB1 was formed six months ago and before the first name was even called, they had already become the most awaited group of the year and one of the most promising groups of the freshly started fifth generation. Hao had never planned on becoming that famous or even on winning the show but somehow, it happened. And more than winning it, he became the overall winner, the centre, the p01. He didn’t really understand what happened. Still didn’t understand that time now actually. Felt like a complete mystery. But seeing the proud face of his friends, family and fans in the crowd made him feel so happy that he never thought more about it. Even though he never really planned all that, it was still his dream. And he made it. He repeated those words to himself every day the first month, as if he needed to convince himself that it wasn’t a dream, that nothing would disappear in dark smoke at any moment. It happened so much in the past. He grew really close to his group-mates. Surprisingly enough, he already knew half of them from previous training in his company. He thought of them as his little brothers and debuting with them made him so happy he cried for a long time when he realised. The other half, he met them during the show. During that time, he didn’t really try to become close to anyone. He was used to lose people he cared about on his journey. It happened anyway, of course. He still somehow became friends with some of them, their paths inevitably crossing while working with or against each other. He was very happy with the final outcome of the show. He grew closer and closer to the members he didn’t know well and they became among his dearest friends. He had no regrets about competing in the show and was enjoying even the smallest event happening since then. They went so far in so little time he could not believe it.
He was happy, very happy, the happiest. It was just that today, he felt somehow down. He didn’t really know why. It just happened. Jiwoong would probably tell him it’s the stage fright. He would probably be right. After all they were on their way to yet another fan-meeting, meeting fans, talking to them, singing and dancing a bit, joking around, laughing. He didn’t really like fan-meetings although he was always thankful to be able to communicate with fans. It just gave him a lot of pressure. Hao was easily pressured and to be fair he was the one putting at least half of that pressure on his own shoulders. Fan-meetings were scary. He was terrified he would forget korean or mandarin, he would be unable to communicate in english, he would forget lyrics, he would hurt someone’s feelings, he would have to deal with weird fans, he would forget choreographies, he would look bad on the pictures, his voice would crack, anything. He really hated it. Live performances were scary too but Boys Planet prepared him better than he thought. Concerts and festivals were okay too, he had too much fun. But oh lord fan-meetings… The members knew, of course. They always tried their best to make sure he was comfortable. The fans most likely knew too. They were more cautious with him than with the other members.
As he expected, his “late-comer place” was the worst, Gyuvin and Ricky kept bickering across the car and he was right in the middle. He was kind of annoyed but not as much as he thought. It made him smile and relax a bit, the only thing which really mattered. He knew the other members of the hyung line were watching him, trying to know if he was okay and they were relieved to see him smile. He wished he could have slept a bit more but the ride was shorter than he thought and they were already there. A few fans were there too, with big cameras. Gyuvin and Yujin opened their windows to say hi and Ricky stretched out his entire body over Hao to wave too, earning an annoyed slap in the back. The doors opened and they rushed inside. Hao didn’t like transitions like this one, with fans so close. It scared him since the airport situation before Kcon Japan. It made him feel really uncomfortable but he still made sure that everyone was inside before he would enter the building.
Inside, everything and everyone was too fast. Makeup artists, managers, stylists and hair stylists were running everywhere. It only made Hao more anxious. He didn’t like to be rushed, especially before an event like this one. Thankfully he was soon seated and staff started to prepare him for the stage. He closed his eyes and felt his body relax as he fell asleep. He hated sleeping in busy rooms like this one, he knew he would look puffy after but he didn’t care. He just felt so tired. He felt like he just closed his eyes when the makeup artist woke him up. He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. He liked how pretty he looked. At least one thing was going well. He stood up and joined Yujin and Gunwook who were busy playing some video games on their phones. They always did that before going on stage. It was their own way to relieve the pressure.
“Watch out Yujin!! He’s coming for you, on your left!” Gunwook yelled as he was furiously typing on his phone to beat some in-game villains. “He’s going to use his power, it’s the time! Quick! Go, go, go!”
“Stop screaming hyung, I’m doing my best!” Yujin spoke back. “See, you’re dead! If you focused on your game-play instead of mine it wouldn’t have happened! Damn it!”
“You’re dead too!"
“Obviously I’m dead! How am I supposed to beat a first class villain alone! This is a co-op game!”
“I could have done it alone”
“You were dead first!”
“Kids, kids, keep calm! How about you play something more peaceful, okay? You might worry the fans if they can tell you two fought,” Jiwoong intervened, sitting heavily next to Hao who didn’t utter a word, watching the youngsters’ fight without even thinking about it. “Are you okay Hao? You look… Tired.”
Hao shook his head with a faint smile, trying to convince both Jiwoong and himself. He could tell just by Jiwoong's look that he didn’t believe him but the latter didn’t ask any more questions, probably sensing that Hao didn’t want to talk about it for now. He was right, of course. Although Hao didn’t like to talk about his feelings, he would always ask Jiwoong for advice and comfort if he really needed it. That’s how the leader knew Hao trusted him enough to never have to force him into talking and confessing. The conversation wouldn’t have lasted any longer anyway because their manager entered the room, clapping his hand to gather attention.
“Okay boys, going on stage in five minutes, everyone makes sure their outfit, hair, makeup and pretty smile are ready! Quick team chant and here you go, no time to chat!” he shouted before leaving again.
Jiwoong gathered the kids around, doing a quick roll call to make sure no one was missing and they joined their hands. Everyone looked at the leader, waiting for him to say a few words as always. He looked at them with a smile, making sure to meet every members’ gaze. He always did that, it was comforting. Gunwook and Gyuvin would sometimes complain but everyone knew they also found it comforting. He stayed a bit longer than usual looking at Hao, as if he was trying to cheer him up. Once he was done, he comically cleared his throat, making everyone laugh silently.
“Today is a big day but don’t pressure yourself too much. We just want fans to have fun so we should have fun ourselves. If any fans have an inappropriate behaviour tell me or the staff we will deal with it. Look at least a bit pretty for the pictures. Make sure you feel comfortable before doing anything. Have fun. Enjoy every second of it,” he looked around one last time. “ZB1 fighting!”
“Fighting!”
The scream was loud and other screams could be heard from the other side of the wall, the ones of fans hearing them from their seats and answering them. It was time. They were ready. And a few seconds later, they were walking in the light, the applause and the camera flashes.
Behind the flashes
Hanbin had been running everywhere for the past 20 hours. His favourite camera lens dramatically broke at the worst moment and finding a new one on such a short notice was almost impossible. He visited dozens of camera stores in Seoul until he finally found the most accurate one. It was way too expensive but he didn’t have time to think about it twice, he needed it as soon as possible because that evening he had an important event: a ZeroBaseOne fan-meeting that he could not miss for anything in the world. For some obscure reason, though he has been a fan for quite some time, he had a really bad luck with fan-calls and fan-meetings, to the point he was never able to join any until tonight. This bad luck was an irony too because Hanbin was not any Zerose. He was R0SEAINI, one of their most famous and respected Zhang Hao fan-sites. He was one of the first ever Zhang Hao fan-sites and was at every Boys Planet event from the beginning, except of course the Over Me fan-meeting, which made him way sadder than he thought despite the extreme nervousness he felt at the idea of talking to the then trainee. Some of the pictures he took of Hao went viral and it wasn’t rare for him to see them as random fans profile pictures on social media. He quickly gathered a big amount of followers. He knew people liked him for two things: the pictures he took were always really good, as he majored in photography, and he never participated in any creepy things such as spying on Hao or mobbing the group. He was even very vocal about what he thought about that and always made sure to only post Hao when he seemed comfortable with the situation. He also used his account to share about his “job”, his studies and his misadventures so when he finally got into a fan-meeting, a part of the fandom celebrated with him. It was also another fan who finally told him where he could find a new lens for his camera and he was really thankful.
So here he was, sitting with maybe a hundred of other fans, waiting for ZB1 to appear, to go on stage, for the event to begin. His camera was ready, his fingers were ready, he was ready. Or maybe not, his heart would not stop beating so hard that he felt like it would hop out of his chest. He pulled the strap, pulled and pulled again, rolling it between his fingers, wrapping it around his wrist and unwrapping it, again and again and again. He felt so nervous. It was the first time he attended a zb1 event unmasked, as it was an indoor meeting one. He couldn’t hide. He took a quick picture with his phone to show his followers he had arrived safely and received a couple answers wishing him good luck and an amazing time. It helped him relax a bit. A few minutes later, someone tapped his shoulder. He turned to discover a young man, approximately his age, smiling shyly at him. He was cute, Hanbin couldn’t deny it. His visible awkwardness made him want to protect him. On second thought, he must be younger, noted Hanbin. He smiled back at him, waiting for the young boy to start talking.
“You are R0SEAINI right? I follow you and I saw the picture you posted, I just guessed it must be you?” the boy wondered, unsure of if he was talking to the right person. Hanbin repressed a soft laugh, not wanting the boy to feel uncomfortable and think he was making fun of him.
“I am! Nice to meet you.” he answered, smiling softly. The boy relaxed instantly, sighing in relief. This time, Hanbin could not help but laugh a bit at his happy face. He looked like a kid finding a plush they really wanted.
“I was so happy to learn that you can finally meet Hao hyung! You must be very excited!” the boy said, jumping slightly out of excitement. “My name is Anthonny by the way! I’m a big fan of your pictures! But my bias isn’t Hao, it’s actually Taerae and Jiwoong!”
The energy and excitement of Anthonny helped Hanbin to relax a bit. Someone so bright around him could only light up his mood and Hanbin was thankful for that. As they kept talking, a yell could be heard from another room and everyone screamed in response, as an automatism. The excitement and nervousness went straight back to Hanbin's throat and he felt like crying. He was realizing everything all over again. He was there. Hao was so close to him. Closer than ever. Or at least closer than he had been in a while. He was about to see him. To talk to him. His leg started to shake. Anthonny noticed and rubbed his shoulder gently.
“Don’t worry, they are really nice. They will make you comfortable in no time.”
Hanbin tried to smile at him but his face was so tense he just felt like grimacing. He gripped on his strap, trying to remember if his camera was ready. It was. Of course it was. He checked five times already and it was ready each time. As he was struggling to go through his thoughts and worry, people screeching around him startled him again. The group was finally on stage. His eyes didn’t even need to look for Hao to find him and Hanbin felt like nothing else existed as the man introduced himself. He forced himself to snap out of his trance by a gentle tap on the cheek and started to take a few pictures. After some more introductions and jokes, all the boys sat down and the fan-meeting began. Hanbin continued to take pictures, snapping a couple of each member like he promised he would but focusing on Hao as always. He felt safe, hidden behind his camera. As his turn approached, he worried that his pictures would be blurry and stopped. He couldn’t stop trembling, his eyes fixates on his fingers still fiddling with the strap. A few minutes before his turn, he turned off his camera and went through his notes one last time. He reviewed the order and breathed as deeply as possible. He felt Anthonny patting his back gently and thanked him quietly. Finally, his number was called.
He walked to Gunwook slowly, scared that his legs would give up under his weight. The boy was waiting for him with a big smile on his face and Hanbin couldn’t help but smile fondly. Gunwook felt like a little brother to him from the very first Boys Planet event, by how playful he seemed despite the dark looks everyone gave him. Gunwook was nice, talked to him patiently and made sure he was comfortable every second of the little time they got together. It was short, but long enough for Hanbin to feel relaxed and ready for everyone else. At least for now. Hao was almost at the end, he still had a long way to go, he could just enjoy the moment so far. And his eyes met someone else a bit further who seemed very excited to see him there. Ricky, Taerae and Yujin were as nice and patient as Gunwook. They laughed at his pathetic jokes, Taerae recognised him from the last mission’s live crowd, they talked about performances and daily life. When he moved from Yujin's chair, he was greeted with an excited “Hanbin hyung” and he couldn’t help but giggle and hushed Matthew down with a gesture. All of that was ridiculous, honestly. Being so nervous meeting a group when your best friend is there. Well being so nervous meeting Hao was as ridiculous, honestly, but he couldn’t help it after all this time. But Matthew? God they knew each other since the idol landed in Korea, incapable of speaking a word but already dancing better than half the other trainees. They kept contact even after Hanbin gave up on his dream. He was the only trainee he kept talking to, probably because the younger one wouldn't leave him alone and kept pestering him with messages until he answered. He still wasn’t sure how he managed that, his agency was quite strict on the no phone policy, but it’s Matthew we’re talking about. Nothing was really surprising. Matthew's excitement gathered some unwanted attention but luckily, everyone moved on quickly and they managed to have a hushed conversation, while comically acting as idol and fan. Matthew seemed to find the situation hilarious, seeing his best friend sitting there, trying to act all happy and excited to meet him when he was clearly not comfortable.
“Why are you even here? Does Hao know? Did you even talk to him recently?”
“You know I didn’t. I made it like everyone else, won the fanmeet and came here. With a good camera. Don’t worry, I took some cute pictures of you too.”
“That’s why you’re the best!” Matthew said, a big smile on his face. “But what will you tell him? You haven’t seen each other in, what, three years?”
“Three and a half. I don’t know Matt, I’ll just… Go with the vibe?” Hanbin tensed up again, his leg starting to shake. “I thought about it you know, about what I was going to tell him but everything sounds dumb. Look at me, I was even nervous talking to you and you’ve been my best friend all those years!”
“I’m sure he will be happy to see you. Just be careful, he seemed a bit off today, I don’t want him to cry in the middle of…” Matthew made a vague gesture, pointing off the fans, the room, the members. Everything must be a secret and Hanbin knew that. “Anyway, what do you want me to write? 'Dear Hanbinie hyung, thank you for loving ZB1 so much. I hope you can smooch Hao hyungie one day, please take more pictures of me for your account’?”
Hanbin snorted loudly, drawing attention from the fan next to him. He bowed to them, embarrassed, before frowning at Matthew. His friend was smiling at him, innocently. Hanbin sighed and told him to just write whatever, which Matthew did. He took a mental note to NOT show what each member wrote down on his album, he’d still rather be known as a hater than exposing his friendship with Matthew by some dumb jokes. He moved on to Gyuvin after a smile and a “see you later” they both meant. Gyuvin had a big smile on his face.
“So how do you know Matthew hyung?” he asked.
“Oh uh… We were trainees together actually.”
“So you’re here to support him? That’s so sweet! Please take care of all of us then!”
“Of course…”
Gyuvin kept babbling, talking about how nice Matthew was to him since the beginning of the show and how happy he was that they got to debut together. He asked Hanbin many questions about their friendship, their trainee time together, and what he was doing now. Hanbin tried to answer as much as he could but Gyuvin's excitement wouldn’t let him talk long enough to finish his sentences. Everything he said seemed to spark a new thought in the young man and it was very entertaining to watch. Hanbin thought that if he didn’t do all that for Hao, he would probably do it for Gyuvin. But their little time together came to an end too fast and Hanbin finally had to face Hao. If he wasn’t sure if he was ready before, now he was absolutely sure. He was NOT ready for anything. What was he even going to tell him anyway? “Hey, sorry I ghosted you all those years ago, I became your fan site now!” That’s so stupid. He was so, so, SO stupid. He had been for all those years but it was so obvious now. As he sat down in front of Hao, the young idol was still saying goodbye to the previous fan. His big smile and gentle words melted Hanbin's heart. Hao didn’t change in four years, he was still the same caring and gentle man he was back then, with the cutest accent and the sweetest smile. And Hanbin was still down bad for him. It was so pathetic. He was so pathetic. When he was finally done, Hao turned to Hanbin, with the brightest smile he could pull, saluting him before he could see him. His words got stuck in his throat as their eyes met. Hanbin tried to esquire a smile but it was as pathetic as himself and he swallowed it back. Time stopped. Everything else disappeared. Everyone else too. The noise quieted down in the background. It was like It was before, whenever their eyes met in the practice room. Nothing changed except one of them gave up and the other succeeded. And now both of them were there.
Before the flashes
Winter was cold in Korea. It always was. But this winter, January 1st 2020, was especially cold. Not just because of the weather. But because Hanbin just turned 19 and he knew it was too late for him. Every day that went by for the last month of his 18s felt like the last of his life. He danced and sang harder than ever. He proved what he had to prove, he did everything he could to hear the words that would save his dream. To hear that he made it, that he would debut. But they never came. And he had promised his mom. If no promises of a debut were made to him by his entry into adulthood, he’d have to quit. And Hanbin would never disappoint his mom. He knew she did that for his future. That she thought all the best of his dream but she wanted him to study, to enter a good university, get a good diploma and then a good job. The older he got, the less chance he had to debut. And the agency had promised them they would debut a boy group soon, that the trainees just needed to prove themselves enough and they would be told shortly. That everything was in the work. But they said that over two years ago and they were still working their asses off. Hanbin watched some of his friends leave and debut. He met new people who were promised the same thing. He wasn’t the oldest in the practice room but he had been here for the longest, everyone looked up to him. But when you have a clock ticking over your head, what advice can you give that would give enough confidence to a bunch of desperate souls?
Hanbin remembered when Matthew left, shortly before the agency made him hope again. He felt so alone back then. He was so scared he’d lose him forever. He didn’t thankfully, but he did lose a part of himself. He lost his hope. He felt so alone. He understood Matthew, truly. He was working so much and the agency was terrible to him. He was promised a better place in another agency and he had to give it a shot. The next few weeks were so lonely. Hanbin took care of the younger trainees without much enthusiasm. And then one of the trainers joined them with a boy. The prettiest Hanbin ever saw. He had to check a couple times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. The trainer gathered them, all sweaty from dancing so hard since early morning. They lined up in front of him and the boy, in the polite pose they were taught early on their training.
“I have two things to tell you. First of all, Zhang Hao will be joining you from today. He’s from China but speaks good Korean already.”
“Please take care of me.” the young man said, bowing to them.
“Hanbin, please make sure he’s correctly integrated as soon as possible, he will live in the dorm starting today.”
“Yes sir.”
“Very good.” The trainer turned to the rest of the trainees. “The agency is planning on debuting a new boy group very soon. If you work hard enough and prove yourself to myself, the rest of the trainers and the agency, we will add you to the debut team. Make sure to work hard, not everyone will be able to make it.”
Not bothering to add any other words to reassure the trainees, he left just like that. Hanbin felt giddy. The opportunity he had been waiting for the past years was right before him, he could almost touch it… His eyes met the pretty boys'. Zhang Hao. Right, before doing anything else, he had to help him settle. He was looking at him with big eyes, trying not to stare. Hanbin smiled at him, introducing himself. Zhang Hao smiled too. Such a pretty smile.
They instantly became friends. More than friends. They were always together, never leaving each other's side. Hanbin took Hao to all the places he could in Seoul and even in his hometown during holidays, when Hao couldn’t afford to go back home. Hao met his mother, who adored him. They trained together too, always. They danced together, they sang together. Hanbin helped Hao to improve his movements. Hao helped Hanbin to improve his tone. Late at night, they would have deep talks till sunrise. Sometimes, they would watch either practice their talent. Hanbin would sit and listen to Hao play the violin. He could do that forever. The music transported him to another place, he felt like flying. Hao would watch Hanbin do tutting and waacking. He could do that forever. The power and confidence would make his heart burst. Some other times, rarely, their hands would touch, a look would be stolen, their breath would be taken away by a moment they couldn’t understand. They never named it. They never even discussed it. It was private, secret. Something just between them that they thought was one-sided. Something too dangerous for them to even try mentioning. It went on for two years.
Now Hanbin had to let this go. He had to leave Hao behind, without being able to tell him what his heart was yearning for. Without ever being able to kiss him like he wished he could. Oh he wished. He really really wished. He dreamed of it even. But here he was. When he left the dorm the day before, on New Year Eve, he knew it was the last they’d ever see each other. Hao didn’t say anything. He watched him pack without a word. He watched him leave. And he still didn’t say anything. Hanbin wished he'd run after him, stop him, do something, anything. That he forced him to talk, to stay. He kept thinking that if Hao asked him, he would do it. He would do anything. But it was too late now. It was his fault too, of course. He didn’t say much. He couldn’t even look at him. Their eyes didn’t meet until the very last second, when he said goodbye. Maybe he should have say more.
Hanbin didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. He wanted to leave all that behind him. Matthew, Hao, all the trainees he met, his friends, he didn’t want to hear about them. His dream was broken. Destroyed. Only stayed the memories and pain of false hope and empty promises. Nothing could ever make it come back. He had to begin everything all over again, his whole life. “New Year, new me” he thought. Snow was falling now. Or rain. Or tears.
“I wish I would never meet you ever again.”
Beyond the flashes.
Hao felt lost. He felt wronged. He felt so incredibly confused. He also felt a strange warmth grow inside his heart, a feeling long forgotten, something he had buried so deep he wasn’t sure it was real. Hanbin was sitting in front of him. He was looking straight in his eyes. And once again, none of them was saying anything. It seemed to be a habit. A ridiculous one. Hanbin looked shy. His eyes were fluttering, his cheeks were flushing. He looked cute. But Hao wasn’t focusing on that. He was trying to understand what he was doing there. His brain was working fast trying to make sense of this reappearance. Maybe all that was a dream, a hallucination because of how exhausted he was. He couldn’t help himself but to reach out, touch his cheek. He hesitated a second, when he was about to but when his hand brushed the skin he stopped, as if struck by lightning. He could feel Hanbin freezing on his chair too. He moved back, like burned.
“I’m sorry.” he stuttered. “I just… What are you doing here? Matthew didn’t say anything.”
“He didn’t know. I’m not here for him actually.” Hanbin took a deep breath, visibly trying to compose himself before continuing, “I’m here to see you. It’s been a while, congratulations on your debut.”
Hao's heart dropped. He wanted to throw up and cry. He wanted to yell at him, to curse him, to slap him, to kiss him, to tear him apart like a doll. He wanted to be so far away and yet so much closer, crawling inside his arms and sob like he had done in the past. The man in front of him reminded of the boys they once were, years ago. The boys they could never be again.
“Thank you.” he managed to croak. “What are you doing now?”
“I’m majoring in photography. I also became a fansite, when I saw you on that stage.”
“Oh.”
“Not a weird one!” Hanbin semi-yelled, making Hao jump slightly and gathering people's attention. “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t want to scare you. I’m so sorry. I would never stalk you or anything that could put anyone in danger. I promise you, only open schedules, no airports, nothing!”
“It’s okay. I know you wouldn’t. I was just surprised. I didn’t know you liked photography.”
“Me neither,” Hanbin laughed. “I didn’t feel like dancing again after all that but I didn’t want to give up on art. Photography just seemed fun.”
Hao nodded. He couldn’t stop staring at Hanbin, observing every inch of his face. He matured so much in four years but his face was still the same in so many aspects. He wanted to touch his cheek again. To kiss it. He couldn’t, of course. It wasn’t the place nor the time. It would never be the time anymore. Maybe it never was anyway. He looked down to the album in front of him, trying to focus on his signing. He didn’t try to force himself and smile, he just wanted this to end. He was so glad to see him again, but every single word was so hard to say. He was still hurt. He knew that Hanbin didn’t have a choice, he knew he did nothing to stop him, he knew he never tried to reach out to him. But Hanbin didn’t either. Hanbin disappeared, he didn’t say anything to anyone. The first time he finally heard about him again was when Matthew came to him, telling him he knew Hanbin and that he was doing well. It was a bit confusing, Matthew and him never really talked before that moment. That long lost friend was the one bringing them together. And now he was right in front of him and all this was… Weird. They didn’t utter another word. Hao just kept on signing, answering the question on his sticky note. Then he had a little moment of hesitation before scribbling something on the back of the note, making sure no one could see. Hanbin just watched him do it. He didn’t ask anything. It was a bit uncomfortable, Hao wondered if fans would discuss this awkward interaction.
“Here you go.” he said while giving back the album. “Thank you for supporting us.”
“I’d always support you. I’m sorry I never contacted you after that day.”
Hao didn’t expect Hanbin to apologize for that. Hanbin had a sad smile on his face. Oh that guy was the end of him four years ago and he still was at that instant. The manager tapped his shoulder lightly, signaling him they needed to wrap it up and he felt so relieved he had to repress a sigh. He made a sign to Hanbin to move on and addressed his nice-polite-and-professional smile. Hanbin could probably tell it was fake. It didn’t really matter, he just wanted this to get over with. But as Hanbin began to get up, he caught his wrist. He couldn’t help himself. He needed, wanted, this touch. He needed it even. Hanbin looked at him, surprised, his entire being focused on Hao in a way he wished it would always be.
“Please come another time too.”