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“I’m sorry, Petra, but I just don’t have enough time.”
Jesse said, searching through piles upon piles of paperwork. She simply just didn’t have time to hang out with Petra. “We can try another time though!”
Petra leaned on the doorframe to Jesse’s office, scoffing. “Uh-huh. I’ll make sure to note that you don’t have time for me anymore.”
There was something about the tone in her voice that made Jesse frown. “I’m sorry?” She turned to face her.
“Maybe I just shouldn’t ask you to hang out at all, is that what you want?” Petra knit her eyebrows, speaking in an accusatory tone.
”Petra, I do have time for you! Just not at the moment. I swear I’ll make it up to you, okay?” Jesse stood up from her desk, walking over to Petra and reaching for her hands.
But all she did was swat her hand away. “Don’t act all buddy-buddy with me, Jesse! You don’t have time for me. Admit it, you don’t want to hang out with me anymore.”
Jesse stepped back, surprised. “I didn’t know you felt that way..” -
“I’m sorry. But time isn’t something I can control right now. It’s out of reach, you know? I do want to join you, but I can’t.”
”Yeah, because that’s what everybody else says. Oh, Petra I don’t have time! Petra, let’s hang out another time! Petra, go ask Jesse! But she doesn’t have the time, does she?”
Her voice rose increasingly, making Jesse feel like a fool for not knowing about this.
“I’m sorry.” She refused to look Petra in the eyes, for she knew Petra was being irrational right now. “People need me, Petra. I—“
”People need you?” She retaliated. “I need you!”
”It’s not my fault! I know you’re hurting, but please don’t take it out on me. You have to understand..” Jesse pleaded, her explanation falling on deaf ears.
Petra stepped forward, knowing deep down it really wasn’t her fault. But now, she didn’t think it mattered.
”You don’t understand! Maybe, if you actually cared about how I felt, we would still be together!”
Petra quickly fell silent, and the two of them took a moment to take it all in. All they could hear was her staggered breathing.
“I do care.”
Jesse spoke with a low tone, Petra finally seeming to calm down.
”I’ve always cared. You know that. After all we’ve been through..” Her eyes started to blur. It all started coming back to her.
”I guess it didn’t matter, did it?” She finished, tears streaming down her face. Petra’s expression softened. “Jesse, I didn’t mean—“
”I know. I just don’t want to hear it. Maybe you’re right, maybe it was all for nothing.” Jesse’s voice was sincere, but had a meaning Petra just couldn’t understand.
”I think you should leave.”
Petra stepped back, feelings all kinds of guilt. She didn’t mean for it to be this way. She didn’t want this to end. “Wait, please..”
Jesse just shook her head. “This is what you wanted, right? Wanted me to admit everything to you. Well, I did! So what are you waiting for?”
Petra felt out of place, but she knew nothing would help at the moment. She turned back, but stood at the doorway for a few moments worth. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t get an answer, so she left. She left the Order Hall, she left Jesse. And it was all her fault.
Maybe she could try again, maybe she could mend their relationship. But just not at the moment, just not at the time.