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Risk, such a simple and plain word. Yet beneath it held in custody bottomless interpretation. Potential for loss, harm, or negative consequences arising in derive of a particular action, decision, event or situation. Involving uncertainty regarding the outcome likelihood of adverse effects on objectives or goals.
Taking chances like foresaid weren’t a match prior to Tyler’s custom. He had a taste for contrivances to be adjusted into their respectful places, for forthcoming decisions to be premeditated and calculated thoroughly. Not acknowledging any authorization for a room opened to flaws, let alone any deficiency.
His Decisions have thus far constantly been at his privileges, infrequently until twelfth of never had his settlements been rendered unsuccessful. The whole lot habitually marched by scheduled steps towards the results he’d await, even whilst a minor fail, he wouldn’t tarry before implanting it back in tracks. Even through their nighttime in the mirroring dimension, when most of the intentions and theories they’d concoct engendered several downfalls. Each terminated with themselves reversed into a singular piece.
Though, nearly all exemplary thoughts take a turn entering feasible insufficiency. Tyler’s could be narrated to have begun in the course of one of his sleepless nights, having by sheer apathy manifested on texting Aiden. Unescorted by any deep meaning, and far from residing as uncharacteristic of them, what the message read was a ‘ rats for brains’ and ‘ u up?’ . Skepticism taking ahead on the possibility of the blonde having already been sent to sleep, owning half a mind to delete the text up till the other started typing.
It was supposed to conclude there, to be rendered into a one time event.
But it certainly did not.
In utmost contrary, it squeezed some seat into Tyler’s routine. Every day, hours preceding their shifts, his phone would be held in his hands as they’d share uncounted hours of mutual interest into random theses. Though it debuted as awkward toss and turns of insults or disagreements regarding tastes for a thing or an alternative, it eventually graduated into oddly homely discussions, by fair means for foul causing Tyler to even force himself to remain awake. Turning a blind eye to his fatigue.
If he was conceded a list of favored experiences, taking risks wouldn’t have taken up residence in top three. Yet he caught on himself agreeing on any occasion Aiden came to boldly request his company, at his place .
Tyler refused on the first suggestion, precepting how he couldn’t leave the house lacking his support. Which the former stated to find no issue in, changing the subject by mentioning how they ought to do some swimming time trial next time they ploy a slumber party.
Nevertheless, the brunette found himself thinking about the former suggestion more than he ought to. It was something about the thought of squandering with Aiden at his place, about the thought of whether he was the only one asked of such, and if the other really wanted him there in those late durations that got him in the verge of considering. The idea on the whole of it caused senses to be made out in the depth of his chest. A mix of excitement, anticipation, and a touch of nervousness, all wrapped up in a warm blanket of curiosity and eagerness.
The more he thought about it the further attracted he was to the simplicity of giving in, he wasn’t a fan of that word, it bore resemblance to a loss of power or agency. Though it truly sounded promising, and rather fun, something residing rent free within him carried on with its personal battle hostile to his thinking.
But regardless of how much it would have spared on, his mental capacity solely submitted to the conclusion of; what’s the worst that could even happen? His sister spends most her nights at a certain ginger’s while his mother rarely ever felt like leaving the house, there was technically no reason for him not to accept.
So, in the count of three days, started his endless count of risks.
჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻
You: hey, ur offer still up?
Walking Danger Sign (Aiden): which offr?
You: ur place.
Walking Danger Sign (Aiden): ohhj
Walking Danger Sign (Aiden): eus ofc
You: fixing ur spelling won’t hurt.
Walking Danger Sign (Aiden): •ᴗ•
჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻
Not different from their previous habit with texting, their scheduled meetings at the Clark’s place went from once every here and then to practically daily . Nothing too meaningful, they’d play board games or help one another study – mostly with Tyler forcing Aiden to focus – or they’d pass time by picking a haphazard movie. The brunette was no fan of strictly horror categorized films, yet he’d sit on the other side of the couch, watching and listening to the other’s every reaction and rants regarding it.
He never asked, when their positions went from sitting on each opposite side on the sofa to being a breath away from each other. Shoulders merely too shy to touch.
He never asked, when they commenced baking together from time to time. Ending up laughing like absolute kids owing to the fact they’d have flour combats.
He never asked, when it went as far as for him to memorize a path all the way up to Aiden’s window from the backyard on those rare occasions his parents would be present.
Never asked when Aiden suggested for him to stay the night. Having him laying in a comfortable mattress set on the floor.
Nor when that same one asked him to sleep beside him, explaining it to be some form of tactic that could serve in aiding them to dreamland. Resulting with both falling asleep followed by long minutes tangled in their bodies’ embracement every damned night before spending their respectful seven hours in the phantoms’ place. Parting with an inaudibly agreed act of no discussion regarding it.
Tyler knew better than to allow denial to assume control of his feelings. He knew quite well what the warmth in his chest signified, what the nervousness of facing the guy meant. Yet he merely ought to act like he does not, for the sake of himself.
That, for a fact, was his main plan. However, the more their little meetings happened, the less he could keep in the feels . They felt abundant for him to simply keep up with, made him feel like he was exposed to the probability of losing his mind to it. While Aiden’s normality towards it all frustrated him to an impossible extent, it only served in making him sense like he was on his own through this craziness.
He liked, adored , the sight of the blonde’s relaxed expression when asleep. The always present smile caught in a rare scene of lacking, allowing him a more peaceful looking face. He loved it, loved the feeling of him against his covered skin. The thought of being the only one allowed with this.
And that awareness is what caused him to ought for it all to come to an end, before it extends beyond mending. Which is what got them both in their current awkward situation. Aiden just laying on his side atop his way bigger than needed bed, a smile still plastered wide on his face. While Tyler just sat on the edge of it, having originally planned to just not show up that day. However, he didn’t manage to do so, ending up in the now way too familiar room.
He knew why Aiden was looking at him that way, they were supposed to sleep in each other’s arms as per usual. Tyler wanted, craved , to simply crawl back on that comfortable and warm mattress and curse himself when they’d part again. He knew better.
It’s been way too long, how many months? Did any of them even bother to count them? Regardless, Tyler hoped every single night for something to alternate. For one of them to make the first move into putting their spot into words. And every time he attempted to be the one, Aiden would just bring a different topic up, as if sensing the upcoming talk. He was tired, not of Aiden, but exhausted of the ache those moments caused. They tossed him too far back, the days he first took charge of his own education and Taylor’s, along with his mother’s care.
His current aches reminded him too much of that. And he did not like it.
Whilst being deep in overthought thoughts of how this night would proceed. He discerned something kicking his side, though he knew who caused it, he yet angled his head to the side, subconsciously straightening his posture. “Huh?” he worded pure confusion out. The other’s smile was unmoving, however, out of having spent so much time with one another, he could ascertain the discomfort through those scarlet eyes.
“I said you look like a random kid just called you dad in the streets” Aiden repeated himself, by turn sitting up to mirror Tyler’s emplacement atop his covers.
That comment earned him a roll of eyes from the brunette, but no further reply to his indirect interrogation. Moreover the side of his mouth twitched clearly out of Tyler’s sight. Whom instead of acknowledging him, leaned down to rest his elbows against his thighs. Moving his line of view to the surprisingly clean floor.
Aiden supported himself back on the bed with the use of his hands, eyes looking up at the ceiling for a while. Smile fading for barely a few seconds before tilting his head back down to address the obviously distressed guy, “what’s bothering your half-wit head?” Tyler couldn’t inaccurateify the frivolity in the blonde’s terms. They uncomfortably made him doubt if he actually cared .
Permitting the emit of breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding in, he shut his eyes tight and spoke before leaving room to any hesitation overwhelming his senses. “I should leave.” Those words were swallowed up, in all likelihood spoken too fast for one to form out. But in spite of that, he could tell Aiden heard it from the unusual silence and hitch of breath.
It took a second or two, but that blonde head soon turned towards him. Leaving him unwilling to meet it, thus, he carried on with making eye contact escorted by the lump residing in his throat. “What?” That was a simple question, yet not a single word in Tyler’s vocabulary showed any sign of capability to reply. “But you just arrived? And there’s still two hours before midnight-”, “I know.” Despite his distaste in interrupting people, he felt like the further his presence remained the greater extent was the possibility of himself snapping without adornment.
Aiden didn’t utter a single word, causing them to drown in awkward silence for what felt likely to be an eternity. It was odd, for such a daily lively guy to be suddenly rendered silent .
He didn’t like that either.
The tension was suffocating, to the point Tyler felt like his head was at the edge of starting to spin like a carousel. He could feel those addicting eyes digging holes into him, but for all that, picking up his jacket from the bed’s wooden side, standing up was a better option than to remain seated and go under an endless pit of mistakes. “We can’t keep on with this, I can’t, sorry.”
No one was home that day, so he needn’t find his way downwards through the window. He could sense all his muscles scream at him to just sit the fuck back down on that bed and stop overthinking everything he goes through. It doesn’t matter, he’s heading for that door containing a hung picture of all six of them. He’s ending this loop for good .
“Stay.”
A pause. Literally, his limbs just immediately stopped in their tracks, refusing to form a single additional step. That word came out as a mere whisper, yet it succeeded in pulling Tyler’s mind out completely of reality. “What?” he almost stuttered those syllables out. Head hesitantly spiraling in the direction of the now standing up blonde, a faint smile barely present. “What if I want you to stay?”
Tyler felt like his definition of reality was no further than a kid’s nonsential theorizing through life. This time his feelings were rendered too much for him to tone out, too messy and sudden to distinguish. All went back to those red eyes hesitantly eying him in some silent request.
He shouldn’t, he should definitely not give in to them. Thus far he couldn’t draw his eyes astray, couldn’t stop his body from fully turning to face the few steps farther man. His throat felt tight, way too tight for him to form proper sentences. His heart was so heavy, like his rib cage couldn’t hold it in place for much longer.
Fuck it.
Giving up was with no doubt what brought about his action. Letting his jacket mindlessly land on the floor before taking almost hurried footsteps towards Aiden. An action that seemed pretty similar to throwing the little rationality inhabiting his soul.
With whatever phantom having taken possession of his senses at such a moment, his hands held each side of Aiden’s face, barely taking in the sight of the widened eyes relaxing and lips parting before spitting a curse in the back of his head. Locking both their lips as impulsive as his blood rushed through his veins. A little more and he could feel their presence under his skin.
It was nothing but an awkward press of lips at first. Not that Tyler was inexperienced, he had his fair share of kisses with girls he thought were worth loving. In this case, it was mostly because Aiden was standing there unmoving, hands barely managing to cross hesitation before sliding up his back. The slow drag causing him to shiver.
Regardless of the obvious ignorance, Aiden was the one to pull away in order to part his lips a little more. Making their movements a lot easier and hell . Tyler felt himself to be at the brim of losing his sanity.
In the dimly lit room, their eyes met with a magnetic pull, they parted a little too slowly, as if they were navigating a delicate balance between anticipation and restraint. Tyler’s eyes seeked for something within Aiden’s as they hesitantly moved from meeting his stare to his lips. The air crackled with palpable tension, charged with the unspoken promises of what was to come.
As they closed the distance between them once more, the world around them seemed to blur into insignificance, leaving only the two of them suspended in a timeless moment. Their breaths mingled in the space between them, a symphony of anticipation and longing that seemed to echo throughout the room.
Their lips met in a needy embrace, a gentle collision that sent shivers down their spines. It was a delicate dance, each movement carefully orchestrated as they explored the contours of each other's mouths. Soft sighs escaped their lips, mingling with the heady scent of desire that hung heavy in the air. Hands were fisting the upper part of the back of his shirt as Tyler’s hand moved from one side of that enslaving face to the back of his neck. Sliding his fingers through the dyed blonde locks, gently fisting them so as to tilt his head back. Making it easier to move due to their height difference.
With each passing moment, their kiss deepened, becoming a passionate exchange of heat and longing. Once again, it’d been Aiden’s bold procedure of parting his lips even more that resulted in their exchange to intensify. Their tongues danced together in a silent conversation, tracing patterns of desire and longing that seemed to ignite a fire within them both. It was a moment of surrender, a letting go of inhibitions as they allowed themselves to be consumed by the overwhelm of their connection.
To no extent did any of them keep track of time, nor cared enough to. All Tyler could register in such moments of wilderness was the fact he had pushed Aiden up against the wall right next to the bed they’ve regularly slept on for the past months. Hands roaming down the exposed waist due to how Aiden’s arms were lifted up to sheathe around his shoulders, taking his sweet hum against his own lips as his granted permission to allow the access of his hands through that smiley designed shirt.
His skin felt cold against his finger tips, though not any agonizing kind of cold, just the kind of body temperature granting him the knowledge of all the occurrences being nothing close to the fruit of his imagination. Making it in fact feel real , and fuck, they were not supposed to do this.
It was such a bad idea. All from the very beginning.
That comprehension was nothing close to pulling him out of that situation. Describing it with the use of being stuck against one another by glue wouldn’t quite seem like an understatement, brainwashed to let want stir their limbs like marionettes. Forcing his hands back to seize the hem of that black cloth. Pulling it up to his underarms before halting.
His movements made them fully part again, faces barely a few inches away from each other.
Aiden’s eyes were looking right into his own, as if inspecting his thoughts through and through. The usualness of those usually round widened eyes manifested into remaining scarcely halfway open, the habitually smiling mouth narrowly parted in little intakes of breath. Its sides curling up just enough to form a vague smile.
“I waited too long..” Tyler couldn’t distinguish if that was meant to be a complaint, or just a statement. All he could tell is that he sensed that uncomfortably familiar ache in his chest, causing him to wish for that mouth to not utter another word for the following hours.
He resumed his act of pulling that shirt up when the other’s arms rose up in its favor, once again mindlessly tossing it into the unknown.
He could tell those arms traveled up to wrap around him once more, though they were soon discarded as the brunette’s swift gestures threw him back-first against his own mattress. He was no big fan of direct contact between his bed’s covers and his skin, however he wasn’t focused on it enough to state it. Not when his mouth was instantly covered by another’s.
Here and now, the kiss was rendered slow, far different from the previous desperate touch of skin. Each movement and glide of lips intoxicatingly feeling like an intimate experience, one that speaks volumes without the need for words. It begins with a gentle, almost tentative, approach.
Tyler simply gave up on the last bit of temperance left within him. Parting their lips before permitting his own to plant their presence with a trail, from the side of his mouth to his jawline, proceeding further down to his neck. Taking the fingers combing through his hair and the tilt of Aiden head to the side in an attempt of providing him further access as his cue to plant open mouthed kisses here and there.
He studied in each intake or hitch of breath, resuming the wander where one particular gasp resonated louder than the previous. Granting himself a moment to glance up at the other, who’s eyes came to be closed shut, as if he was by no other means simply focusing on feeling.
Yeah, that was what Tyler needed. For him to just lay back and feel .
Having somehow memorized the exact spot that engendered his foregoing reaction. Tyler went back down to give it an open mouthed kiss, before sucking it.
“Ah!” That gasp sounded a little louder than foreseen, though it in no way revealed signs of discomfort. Aiden’s knee folded up by pure reflex, harmlessly hitting his side just to be held in place by its lower thigh.
Tyler felt the hand on his head turn into a fist, locking in a fair amount of his hair before pulling. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, it was simply hard enough, making him grunt, its vibration carrying up that tinted neck. While the other hand gripped the upper part of his shirt, probably frowsing it.
He supported himself just sufficiently up to obtain a better view of things. Catching sight of how the bruise was revealed darker than anticipated, whilst the crimson eyes hadn’t kept him out of sight for a second.
Damnit, he thought to himself. It all felt wrong, but goodness , did Aiden sound like just a good kind of risk to take.
What went by barely expected, was the fact they did not talk through the time left before they shifted back to the phantoms dimension. Along with the other four, ever so clueless about their internal fights.
They didn’t even bat an eye on one another while Ashlyn went over their plan for the night, it being about using a car to go around for a station and fill it up for upcoming ventures. As if nothing of the previous events had ever taken place, and that only served for an ache worse than the one having gotten familiarized with Tyler’s chest. It made him wish he’d never given in, that he’d just listened to his sanity and walked out of that damned door.
And being seated one next to the other in that random car they came across made it not a single bit better. It was awkward and suffocating to the point it made Tyler feel almost ready to take another nosedive off a cliff.
Pressure placing itself against his shoulder punched his mind back to take in his surroundings, turning his head towards it just for his nose to get tickled by messy blonde hair. Aiden had silently rested his head against him, snaking his hand by means to hold his own as it all tossed his mind back and forth.
Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.