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Merrin knew where every scar on Cal’s body came from, every wound she treated, every mark on him she knew. And he had many. Starting from the faded scars he got from his time during the clone wars, still under the care of his master Jaro Tapal, small marks representing the burn of a blaster shot on his body.
Then came the white scars of the aftermath of order 66; after the attack by those troopers that were his colleagues, brothers in arms, and friends. That day had ruined his life, took his master’s life and brought him several other scars. Most of these were not physical but were buried deep inside him only to surface at night in his dreams. Even those scars Merrin knew. When she woke him up and looked in his eyes, she saw not the Cal she knew, but a 12 year old boy, scared, lost and hurt.
And the ones he got on Bracca as a scrapper. It wasn’t a job without danger, and he survived many a fall and many a thing falling on top of him.
Then there were the recent scars, pink or still red, she knew most of these having tended to the wounds that caused them. The one on his leg for example where he took a stupid risk, fell too far and broke his leg in every way you shouldn’t. She knew it still pained him every now and then.
Or when he had to run from a crazy amount of stormtroopers, and one of their shots hit him in the shoulder. It was patched up, but it made for a thin white line marring his shoulder.
There was one scar however she didn’t know how he got it. It was a faded one, and looked like a plant. There was a stem with smaller branches springing from it, and something that almost looked like leaves on it. She checked to see if it was a tattoo, but it was very clearly a scar. She asked about it several times but he would smile a sad smile and say ‘it was from his time on Bracca’. But that was all he would say, and he would change the subject or simply not answer when she pushed him on it. He simply would not tell.
Now, however she intended to find out. They were on Bracca, retrieving data from a ship that was set to be destroyed by the scrappers. She knew Cal intended to find out what happened to his friend Prauf’s body and catch up with his old friends still living on the planet, after the mission was done.
After the fun introductions and the “omg you’re still alive” from his old friends, she noticed him quietly ask after Prauf.
“He’s buried next to Kanza in the big lot Cal. We put your name on the list as well, even though we feared…” the rest of the sentence wasn’t said aloud but it wasn’t hard to guess.
“I’ll take you to them, if you want?”
Cal nodded and they disappeared together into the crowd of the busy street they were close to. Merrin got up to follow them, but an old friend of Cal a woman named Lola grabbed her arm and pulled her into the kitchen.
“So Cal finally has found someone to love, hmm?” she smiled, “that’s good, that boy was always alone in some self-made bubble. It’s hard to punch through the walls he put up around himself, but I’m glad you could. So tell me, how is Cal really doing?”
“He’s…”
what should she tell this woman? Cal had introduced her as the mother of all scrapper boys, and it was clear they cared a great deal for each other, but a lot had changed in the years. She decided on the middle road.
“… good for the most part. He’s not always at peace with himself.”
“That’s a fair description of Cal, yeah. That boy… I should say man” she added with a quick smile, “that man has got secrets. Always had. Now I know he’s a jedi I understand a great deal more of where he came from, but still. I doubt he will show everything he is to anyone.”
“He doesn’t, no.” after a pause she took her chance and added: “but his scars tell many stories. I know most of them by now. Though there is one that is still a mystery. It’s a strange one, looks almost like a plant?”
Lola’s face turned sad, pain visible in her eyes.
“That’s…”she sighed, looking down. “he got struck by lightning.”
“Lightning? Oh… how did that happen?"
Lola didn’t immediately answer, and Merrin was starting to think she really would never know, when Lola started talking. In a soft voice she said:
“He tried to save my son Kanza. Kanza had just started working for the scrapper’s guild, he was 12. Cal was 15 then, and they became friends. They worked together a lot.”
She sighed, her face a mask of grief.
“Then one day, they were working together and lightning struck the cable next to them. The cable was really the only thing holding the ship they were working on, up, and the lightning strike caused the ship to slip down. Kanza lost his footing, and fell over the edge. Cal somehow managed to grab hold of his hand and tried pulling him up.”
A tears makes its way down her cheeks. Merrin moved closer to her, and held her hands in hers.
“And he would have, had it not been for the lightning. It struck Cal, knocking him out and causing him to let go of Kanza. Kanza fell to his death.”
She coughed and swallowed her tears away, trying to compose herself. Merrin gave her hands a soft squeeze.
“Cal always blamed himself for it, even though we both know he couldn’t have done anything different.”
She looked up at Merrin, a sad smile on her face.
“Poor Cal woke up 2 days later in the med bay. First thing he asked was ‘where’s Kanza’. I couldn’t answer him, and he knew. He didn’t speak for days, lost himself in reckless working after that. Until Prauf managed to get through to him in his calm way. I will always be grateful to him for that”
She gave Merrin’s hands a light squeeze and got up.
“So now you know. Will you talk to him? If anyone can get through to him it would be you. I see how he looks at you.”
“I will try, but he is the most stubborn man I know.”
Lola smiled,
“That he is indeed. Good luck.”
Merrin smiled, knowing that’s why she fell for him, no matter how difficult he could be. Yes this would be a hard one to talk about, but she was glad she finally knew.