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One day a big boy met a weak boy… Is it tho? Was it really like that? No, Not really. The weak boy looked like one because he was tall for his age and thin and was sleeping whenever he had the time. The big boy wasn’t big but wanted to be, after all they were just children.They were playing together, as best friends do. Well… it was mostly the wanna be strong boy who wanted to play and do some stupid stuff and the other one agreed to calm him for a bit after, but it’s true they were best friends. This friendship started in the garden of a count’s castle.
But even if their friendship started there, something else started later, in another garden, where multiple students went to relax from classes. Little by little the gazes were longer and more intense, the touch was lighter and more awkward, and finally, their heads were full of thoughts for the other, their stomachs full of butterflies and their hearts close to the explosion. Classical young love, isn’t it?
But when war starts, feelings need to be ignored in order to protect yourself. Hopefully they didn’t have to fight each other but they did have the blood of some of their friends on their hands. It hurt, it hurt so much that the bloody red froze their teenage hearts. They were partners and friends but that was all. Everything out of that line would be erased, because the loss was too scary to them.
But the war ended, and they were still both alive. Their repressed feelings were about to explode out of their chest. Time was for reconstruction in Fodlan, but for Caspar and Linhardt maybe it was now also time for acceptance and confession.
Linhardt was looking for a place to nap, a place where he would not be annoyed by anyone. After something like 20 minutes, with his pillow in his hand he finally reached the place he usually went to. Outside of the monastere’s fortification, far from the principal entrance, there was a small wood ; it was his place, his sleeping sanctuary. But walking to his favorite tree, something was odd, it was like someone was training there. His suspicion got confirmed when he saw a light blue hair resting against his tree, gauntlets still on his hand, face peaceful yet tired. Linhardt sighted before coming next to his best friend.
His back now leaning on the bark, he looked after his friend. His breathing was slow, his skin was still a bit gleaming because of the sweat and his short hair was scruffy. Linhardt looked closer and he looked at Caspar’s eyelashes. Unlike people would think about a man like Caspar, they were pretty long and softened his face marked by the fights they faced up together. But Linhardt didn’t glare only at his eyelashes. His glance continued, going to the nose, the cheeks and finally stopping at the lips. These chapped yet still thick lips he wanted to kiss. Yes, he did want to kiss him, to taste his lips. But this was like a forbidden fruit to him, something he just dreamed of. What would be the feeling of their lips against each other? What would be the taste? How would Caspar react to it? Would he make some noises? His reverie faded away, and he remembered why he came here at first. He replaced himself, closed his eyes and let himself join the mist of the arms of Morpheus.
Caspar woke up with some weight on his shoulder. He took some time to realize that he wasn’t alone and that the weight he felt was his best friend’s head, who like usual was into a deep sleep, his best friend… and also his unrequited love. Well more like what he thought was his unrequited love. Yes They were THAT oblivious. For him too it was a fantasy, something he shouldn't feel, something he should run away from. But right now he didn't want to escape, he wanted that moment to last forever. The sun was pretty low so it seemed like he slept a few hours already. The wind was already chillier, but he wanted to stay. The heat coming from his cheeks, his neck, his heart was still enough to warm him up anyway. He felt the green hair on his skin ; soft, long and shiny. How would it feel to drown his hand into this capillary sea? What would it be like to circle the hair around his fingers? To smell the hair? These were recurring questions in his mind. Maybe it was smelling like grass, or like some flowers, or maybe it just smelled like Linhardt. Well it wasn’t like he would wake up soon, so Caspar started to touch Linhardt’s hair and… It was so fluffy! He kept touching and sliding his hand over the green hair. He felt like he was doing something he was forbidden to do for years, and that was kind of true… But the one who forbade him to do so was… himself. He didn't know how much time he spent doing that, just a few minutes? fifteen? half an hour? Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize that his favorite green haired person (also just his favorite person but not the point here) woke up.
When Caspar saw the opened eyes he moved back quicker than Raphael’s eating speed, his head so red that he looked like toothpaste with his hair.
“I I’m sorry Linhardt, I shouldn’t cross some…” Caspar started.
“Feels good… continue…” Linhart cut him short.
Surprised by the answer, Caspar blinked multiple times in disbelief before complying. This time he was able to explore properly the torrent of green hair. After some time spent without saying a word, Linhardt said,
“I’m feeling like it’s a dream, I’m not awake right?
Yeah yeah, I’m not your living best friend, I’m just a weird dream creature…” Caspar said with sarcasm.
“ So if it’s a dream I can say whatever I want and you will not complain…
Linhardt… It was a joke… you’re not…” But Linhardt didn’t let him finish.
“I’M SO TIRED! I don’t want to help the new students, I’m not a teacher, I just want to do my research! I don’t have any time to sneak out here when I need to have my naps. And I need them even more now cause I heard weird noises at night coming next to my room!..”
Damn that sucks…Wait what noises?...
And Lysithea just agrees to study a way to erase her second emblem but our planings don’t match at all so I don’t have any time to do it!
Okay it’s sad…I suppose…
And you, YOU, Are you doing this on purpose? Being always there, sometimes following me like a shadow when I just try to control my emotions around you, Are you just tormenting me… Knowing that I… I…
You what?” Caspar panicked a bit because he thought he had done some bad stuff again.
“Love you!”
And then, they went silent, with only birds daring to break this silence. After at least one minute Linhardt asked :
“I’m awake, right?
Yeah.”
Linhardt lifted his back up and hid his face in his hands without a word, thinking a bit. Well, that was how he usually dealt with problems, when he couldn’t return to sleep. But even if Caspar wasn’t a thinking guy, his brain understood what had been said and Linhardt couldn’t take it back. For Caspar, his best friend and crush had said he loved him. Was it a joke or not? Linhardt wasn’t the kind of person to make this kind of joke, especially with such a serious look. But on the other hand that would mean that Linhardt is, in fact, in love with him, which, for him, was just as unlikely. Without looking at him he asked,
“What was that about?” His heart gripped itself, scared of the answer.
“Forget everything, I messed up
Wait.... What do you mean by messed up?
I thought you were just a dream so I could vent about this cause I didn’t plan to tell you about that… Again forget what I said
And if I don’t want to forget?
Why? What will you do with that information? It's just pretty embarrassing stuff for both of us.”
Caspar took a deep breath and started to say out of frustration :
“Why are you so dumb Linhardt? Did you think that I played without any feelings? Or that I go here, where you go all the time, without hoping I could spend some time with you even if it’s just with you sleeping next to me?! You know what? I desire you. I want to kiss you, hug you, embrace you so much that it hurts! I love you Linhardt! I have loved you for years! I don’t want to forget this… Let me hope please.”
Even if the truth was very obvious, Linhardt took some time staring at his friend's eyes before his mind was able to process everything. He lowered his head and mumbled :
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I’m stupid, I wasn’t able to realize this”
Silence took the lead again, Christmas-tree-like-Linhardt (cause you see he was green and red) was looking at his feets, and Caspar at the other side of the tree, taking his time before asking :
“hey Linhardt?
Unh?
Can I kiss you?”
Surprised, Linhardt looked up his head to see a sad smile drawn on Caspar’s face and his eyes full of a repressed desire which was the same as his, because he wanted the same thing as him. On the verge of tears, he answered,
“Yes”
Caspar got closer to him, slowly, took Linhardt's cheek in his hand and looked into his emerald eyes. Linhardt did the same, slowly getting their faces separated by only a few centimeters. Centimeters which finally disappeared when Caspar felt the heat of Linhardt’s lips against his. It was more incredible than anything Linhardt had imagined. Caspar’s lips were soft, too soft for him, he couldn’t do anything else but melt while still trying to get closer and closer, get into the mouth a bit. He didn’t want to stop, neither wanted to because they needed to catch up all these years of restraint. But still they couldn’t stay like this forever, even if they wanted to. If only time could stop at this moment, just for them. They kept it like this for some time. How much? A few seconds? Several minutes? They didn’t know, in their own little world they only looked for each other. When they stopped their kiss, their lips were kinda still trying to suck on each other. A slip string was connecting their mouths while they were trying to catch their breath. The two dense boys looked at each other, cheeks slightly red, smiling, and with an overflowing love which could finally flood their life.
After waiting until their breathing heartbeat returned to normal (well, as normal as it can be with two persons in love), without breaking eye contact, Linhardt said,
“I love you Caspar, a lot”
With his most radiant smile and little tears around the eyes, Caspar answered, “ I love you more”
In the sweet light of dusk, a tough short boy and a sleepy tall boy confessed to each other after years, and had their first kiss under a tree. Being both best friends and lovers, they were a perfect duo. If one day you happen to meet them, don’t try to separate them, for their good, and mostly for your own.