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“Good job today, Akito.”
After a lengthy afternoon practice session, Vivid BAD SQUAD was finally wrapping up for the day. Akito and Toya found themselves backstage cooling down, while An and Kohane had sauntered off to god knows where.
“You too, partner.”
As the echoes of the music faded into the background, Akito found himself stealing glances at the boy to his left. His chest swelled with a mixture of admiration and something deeper. Toya was a sight to behold, especially after a gruelling practice session like today's. Akito watched as the boy wiped the sweat from his brow, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of pride for how far his partner had come from their first performance together.
Lost in his thoughts, Akito leaned against the wall, letting the coolness of the concrete seep into his skin, trying to suppress the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when his feelings for Toya shifted from friendly admiration to something more, but one thing was for certain—he was down bad.
Toya noticed Akito's gaze and turned to him, his expression softening. "Something on your mind, Akito?"
Akito blinked, momentarily caught off guard by Toya's question. "Huh? Oh, no. Nothing important," he replied quickly, trying to brush it off.
Toya raised an eyebrow, his gaze unwavering. "You sure? You seem a little...distracted."
Akito felt a flush creep up his neck, cursing himself for letting his feelings show so easily. "It's nothin’, really. Just…thinking about our performance comin’ up," he lied, forcing a casual smile.
Toya nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. "Yeah, it's gonna be great. We've been practicing really hard for this one."
Akito nodded back, grateful for the change of subject. "Yeah, definitely. I think we're really gonna knock it out of the park this time."
Their conversation drifted to the upcoming performance, and Akito found himself relaxing in Toya's presence. There was something about the boy that always put him at ease. As they discussed their plans for the live show, Akito couldn't help but admire the way Toya's eyes lit up with excitement, his passion for music shining through with every word.
But before long, their conversation was interrupted by a familiar, annoying voice.
"Hey, you two!" Shiraishi An chirped, practically skipping towards the pair with an arm linked through her partner’s. "Kohane and I have some exciting news to share!"
‘Oh god,’ Akito thought to himself, bracing for whatever bombshell Shiraishi was about to drop now. "Let me guess, you finally convinced Azusawa to go out with you?" he remarked sarcastically.
But to his complete and utter dismay, An's grin only widened in response. She nudged Kohane, who Akito only now noticed was blushing furiously. "Actually, um… yes, ” the blonde girl murmured timidly, her eyes trained on the floor as she fidgeted nervously with her hands.
Akito's jaw dropped. "Wait, seriously?"
Kohane looked up at An, before shyly looking towards him with a small grin, nodding slowly.
Toya, ever the supportive friend, quickly gave the pair a warm smile. "Congratulations," he expressed sincerely. “It’s about time.”
“Y-yeah…congrats, I guess,” Akito mustered a weak smile in comparison, realizing that he should probably say something, too.
"That’s right, appreciate it, everyone!" An beamed, her pride evident in every word as she latched onto the girl beside her. “We’re suuuper happy together, isn’t that right, Kohane-chan?”
“A-An-chan!” Kohane stammered, her blush only deepening as her girlfriend doted on her.
Akito was unable to hide the grimace that dawned on his face as he watched the display. He couldn't understand how Shiraishi was able to act like that so openly. It was like she didn't have a care in the world. He glanced over at Toya, who was still watching the couple with a pleasant expression.
"Dude, how can you just watch them like that?" Akito whispered over to him.
Toya turned to him, his expression puzzled. "What do you mean?"
Akito gestured towards An and Kohane, who seemed to be off in their own little world. "How can you just sit there and watch them so casually? They’re so…sappy."
Toya's expression softened, looking back at the couple. "I don't know, Akito. I guess I'm just happy for them. It's nice to see people you care about happy, you know?"
Akito sighed, feeling a strange twinge in his chest. "I guess so.”
Finally, Kohane managed to free herself from the shackles of her girlfriend's arms, much to An’s disappointment.
"Anyway, enough about us," Shiraishi began, another grin spreading across her face that could only be described as shit-eating. "What were you two lovebirds talking about before we showed up?"
Akito felt his cheeks catch fire as he began sputtering out something incoherent. Toya kept smiling, clearly oblivious to his distress. "Oh, just about tomorrow's performance," he replied casually, much to Akito’s relief.
After some further teasing from An (and bearing witness to more nauseating displays of affection), the sun finally dipped below the horizon, signalling the end of the gathering. With farewells exchanged, the group dispersed, heading their separate ways for the evening.
Later that night, the moon cast a cool glow through Akito's window, illuminating his room in a soft, silver light. But instead of drifting off into a peaceful slumber, Akito found himself tossing and turning in bed, his mind a chaotic jumble of thoughts while his sheets were twisted around his ankles and his pillow was scrunched uncomfortably beneath his head.
"This is so lame," he muttered to himself, fluffing his pillow in frustration. He couldn't understand how someone as supposedly passionate and hot-blooded as himself could be such a fucking coward.
Sighing in frustration, Akito flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. An's explanation of her confession to Kohane replayed in his mind like a broken record, taunting him with it’s simplicity. ”I just kinda told her one day at the café, and she said she felt the same,” An had said. And that was about it.
‘If Shiraishi can do it, why the hell can't I?’ Akito thought angrily to himself.
He couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of An’s confidence when it came to, well, feelings. But beneath that jealousy lay something much deeper—the fear of ruining his friendship with Toya.
The thought of confessing his feelings to his partner and being met with awkward silence or worse, rejection, made Akito's stomach churn with dread. What if Toya didn't feel the same? What if he had somehow already discovered Akito's feelings and was purposefully ignoring them to spare their friendship?
The uncertainty was maddening, a relentless cycle of doubt and insecurity that left Akito feeling completely and utterly pathetic. He groaned loudly in frustration, burying his face in his pillow in a feeble attempt to block out the nagging voices in his head.
Suddenly, a loud bang echoed through the room, causing him to flinch. "Shut up, Akito! Some of us are trying to sleep!" His sister Ena's voice filtered through their shared wall, irritated and sleep-deprived.
Akito scoffed, rolling his eyes in disbelief. There was no way she was already asleep; it couldn't be any later than...oh. The digital numbers glaring back at him from the nightstand clock read 4:24 a.m. Shit.
"Enough is enough," Akito muttered to himself, clenching his fists with newfound determination. "Tomorrow, I’m definitely gonna tell him how I feel."
With a plan set in motion, Akito closed his eyes and finally allowed sleep to claim him.
1.
The next day, as the final school bell rang, Akito felt the knot in his stomach tighten painfully. Today was the day. The day when he would finally grab a pair and be honest about his not-so-platonic feelings for his best friend.
But, as the minutes continued to tick by, he felt his resolve slowly beginning to crumble.
All day long, Akito hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than Toya, which wasn’t entirely abnormal, per se. But now, instead of his thoughts being solely about how pretty Toya looked in his school uniform, they were centred around the fact that in just a few hours, Akito was going to confess his deepest, most hidden secret and he couldn’t even begin to predict how Toya would react. Akito fidgeted in his seat, drumming his fingers anxiously on his desk as he stared out the window. Despite his teacher's reprimands for his lack of attention, Akito couldn’t bring himself to focus on calculus–he had far bigger things to worry about.
By the time lunch came around, he could only poke anxiously at his meticulously prepared bento (courtesy of his mother), the thought of food making his stomach churn uncomfortably. Although Toya noticed this, any concern he had seemed to vanish when Akito extended the box towards him and asked, "Want some?".
And now, as the pair made their way to the café, he couldn’t help but notice the concerned look Toya was giving him from his periphery.
‘What happened to him being oblivious?’ Akito relented, desperately trying to keep his eyes trained ahead.
"Akito, are you alright?" Toya finally asked as they stopped before a crosswalk, his voice laced with worry.
Akito forced a smile, his throat suddenly dry. He knew this was coming.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, his voice coming out more strained than he intended.
Toya, however, didn't look convinced. His gaze lingered on Akito for a few seconds as he studied his expression. "Are you sure?"
Akito felt a flush slowly creeping up his neck at Toya’s insistence. “Yeah, I'm sure,” he muttered, unconvincingly.
Toya stared at him for a few moments longer before nodding slowly, clearly not buying it but also not wanting to press the issue any further.
As they finally crossed the street and entered the café, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped them, mingling with the sounds of quiet chatter and clinking dishes.
They found their usual booth, and Akito ordered a hot chocolate while Toya opted for his usual black coffee. Akito couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief as he watched Toya take a sip. "Seriously, how can you drink that stuff?"
Toya chuckled softly, a faint smile playing on his lips. "It’s an acquired taste," he replied simply, his gaze warm as he looked at Akito.
As Toya's words hung in the air, Akito's thoughts drifted momentarily. He couldn't help but admire the way Toya's split-dyed blue hair framed his face, accentuating his grey eyes and the subtle mole beneath his left eye. A soft warmth spread through Akito's cheeks as he entertained the thought, but he quickly shook his head, pushing away the sudden rush of emotions.
But suddenly, a realization dawned upon him. This was it, the opportune moment he had been waiting for all day. A quiet café, just the two of them, an ambiance devoid of any looming expectations. A familiar feeling of nervousness flooded his veins. It was that same mixture of excitement and anxiety that he always felt just before stepping on stage, a rush of nerves coupled with a steadfast belief that he could conquer anything. He reminded himself that this was just like any other performance, except this time, the audience was just one person— Toya.
Akito took a slow sip of his hot chocolate, letting the warmth spread through him–calming his nerves momentarily, before he placed the mug back on the table with a gentle thunk.
He could do this.
"Toya, I..."
As he glanced up and caught Toya's eyes, wide and expectant, Akito suddenly felt his throat constrict.
Fuck.
Yeah, no, this was different. This feeling was far more intense than any nerves he'd ever felt before performing. In fact, Akito was almost completely sure that he’d never felt this anxious in his entire life. It was as if his entire world was on the brink of collapse, and in that moment, Akito realized something.
He couldn't do it.
At least not right now. Not when Toya was looking at him like that. The words were caught in his throat and suddenly, a surge of panic swept over him. His hands started trembling as his heartbeat thundered in his ears, drowning out any remnants of coherent thoughts, and before Akito could stop himself, he blurted out the first excuse that came to mind.
”I, uh, I just remembered I have something to do," he stammered, his voice trembling with desperation. "Sorry, Toya, I-I'll catch you later—"
And with that, Akito grabbed his bag and practically sprinted out of the cafe, leaving Toya behind in a whirlwind of shock and confusion.
As he ran, Akito cursed himself for being such a fucking coward . He had been so confident, so convinced that he could do it. But in the end, he’d completely chickened out.
Whatever. There’s always tomorrow.
2.
The next day dawned bright and clear, the sky creating a brilliant blue backdrop over the city as Akito made his way to school. Guilt gnawed at his insides as he thought about the day before. Toya was probably even more worried now, thanks to his little outburst yesterday.
As he approached the school gates, Akito spotted Toya waiting for him expectantly, a concerned look etched on his face. With a sigh, Akito braced himself for the inevitable conversation that was sure to follow.
"Toya,” he began, noticing the sense of relief that seemed to wash over the boy as he quickly turned towards him. "I’m really sorry about yesterday."
Toya's expression softened slightly, though the hint of unease still lingered in his eyes. "It's okay, Akito," he replied gently, his voice quiet. "But, I was really worried about you. You just ran off without saying anything."
Akito winced at the reminder, the feeling of guilt growing even stronger as he tried to formulate an excuse. "I know, and I'm really sorry," he apologized again, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I just remembered that uh, Ena wanted me to go shopping with her. Yeah."
Toya looked at him for a moment with a strange expression before nodding, accepting Akito's apology with a small smile. "Alright, I trust you," he said, his tone lightening slightly. "Just don't scare me like that again, okay?"
Akito nodded fervently, relief flooding through him. "I won't, I promise.”
But despite Toya's reassurances, Akito couldn't shake the lingering sense of guilt that hung over him like a dark cloud. He had let his fear get the best of him again. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this—ran away from his feelings instead of facing them head-on. And now, as the two of them walked to class together in silence, the weight of his own self-loathing made itself apparent.
It was finally lunch break. Akito and Toya promptly made their way up to Kamiyama’s rooftop, sitting up against the chain-link fence as they ate their lunches in peaceful solitude. The gentle breeze ruffled their hair as they joked and laughed, the tension from earlier melting away.
"So, how was calculus today?" Toya asked, biting into a piece of fried pork.
Akito groaned, rolling his eyes. "Don't even get me started," he complained. "I swear, I'm never going to understand this shit."
Toya chuckled, shaking his head. "Maybe if you actually paid attention in class for once…”
Akito shot him a mock glare. "Hey! I pay attention," he protested, though the twinkle in his eye betrayed his amusement. "I'm just...easily distracted."
Toya raised a skeptical eyebrow, earning a playful nudge from Akito.
“Akito,” Toya suddenly spoke up after a beat, staring at his bento as he carefully formulated his next words. “I don’t have anything going on after school today. If you’d like, I could come over to your place and help you with your homework.”
Oh.
As much as Akito dreaded the thought of more calculus, the prospect of alone time with Toya quickly overshadowed any reluctance he had toward the idea.
“Y-yeah,” he muttered, ducking his head in a desperate attempt to hide the warmth in his cheeks. “I’d like that.”
At that moment, Akito seemed to notice that the other students who were sitting on the rooftop had left, leaving him and Toya completely alone. Bingo.
Akito took a deep breath, before hesitantly moving his hand to brush his pinky ever so lightly against Toya’s.
Toya glanced up in surprise, his eyes widening slightly. Akito took this as his cue to start talking.
”As a matter of fact, let’s make it a da–”
Suddenly, the door to the rooftop burst open dramatically, and to Akito’s horror, a short boy with peach blonde hair came barreling through. “Aha! Just the two people we were looking for!”
Akito let out an audible groan as he found himself face to face with none other than Tenma Tsukasa, who just so happened to be accompanied by Akito’s second least favourite person, Kamishiro Rui.
"Tsukasa-senpai? Kamishiro-senpai? What are you doing up here?" Toya asked, smiling politely as he turned to face the pair.
Rui and Tsukasa exchanged a knowing glance, before looking back towards the pair. This was not good.
"Why, I’m glad you asked, Aoyagi-kun,” Rui began, his voice coloured with mischief. “It just so happens that a thrilling opportunity has presented itself, and I am most confident that you and Shinonome-kun would be the perfect candidates!”
Tsukasa nodded enthusiastically, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "That's right! We're planning our next stage performance, and we want you two to be a part of it!" he declared, his strong voice booming across the rooftop.
"I see,” Toya replied, a twinge of nervousness in his tone. “Your performances are always quite…exciting. Might I ask what this one is about?"
Rui giggled at that, a sly smirk stretching across his cheeks. "Ah, but that, my dear Toya-kun, is a secret for now," he teased, putting a finger up to his lips. "You'll just have to trust us and come along for the ride."
“Indeed! But you won’t regret it, I promise!” Tsukasa added, enthusiastically grabbing onto Rui’s arm. “So, what do you say?”
"Ah, well, of course I’d be more than happy to help in any way that I can," Toya began, ever the dependable kouhai. "But, it depends what Akito thinks," he added, glancing over at the ginger expectantly.
As Toya's gaze shifted towards him, Akito suddenly became aware of how absorbed he’d been in his own thoughts, completely oblivious to whatever the two weirdos were yapping on about. In fact, all he could focus on in that moment was the frustration bubbling up inside him, the knowledge that once again, his chance to confess his feelings to Toya had been snatched away from him. And by those two of all people!
With a sigh, Akito pushed himself to his feet, his movements stiff with irritation.
"Sorry, guys," he muttered, eyes trained on the floor. "I, uh, I have to head to PE class. Coach is gonna kill me if I'm late again."
"Akito?" Toya frowned, concern flickering in his eyes as he watched him walk away, the door to the rooftop closing with a loud clack behind him.
“My, that was certainly an interesting expression,” Rui spoke after a pause, breaking the silence that had fallen over the trio.
“Yeah, since when does he care about being late,” Tsukasa noted, before shifting his gaze away from the door back to Toya. “Is…everything okay with him?”
Toya didn’t know.
“I…don’t know, to tell you honestly,” he admitted, trying to ignore the small lump that formed in the base of his throat. “He’s been acting strange lately, but every time I try to talk to him about it, he just brushes it off and changes the subject.”
“Sounds like Shinonome-kun,” Rui hummed, leaning his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder lazily.
Toya let out a sigh, running an anxious hand through his hair. "I just…don’t understand why he won’t even admit that something’s wrong."
Rui nodded understandingly, resting his chin atop the blonde’s shoulder. "Sometimes, it's difficult for people to open up about what they're going through," he began, his expression thoughtful. "But I'm sure Shinonome-kun knows he can trust you, Aoyagi-kun. After all, the two of you are practically inseparable."
"Yeah, you guys have been through a lot together," Tsukasa chimed in, his tone reassuring. "I'm sure whatever's going on, he'll come to you when he's ready. And in the meantime, just know that we're here for you…both of you."
"Thanks," Toya said, his voice sincere as he offered them a grateful smile. "I really appreciate it. And I'm sure Akito will too."
Tsukasa nodded triumphantly, crossing his arms across his chest and accidentally bumping Rui’s head off his shoulder in the process.
“Ow, Tsukasa-kun! So mean!” Rui cried, rubbing his cheek with a mock pout.
“Ah! I’m sorry, Rui—I didn’t mean to!”
Toya watched with a small smile as Tsukasa fretted over the boy. ‘Seems like Tsukasa-senpai has his feelings sorted out, at least,' he thought to himself.
Despite the reassurances from his senpais, Toya's thoughts continued to drift back to Akito. He couldn't help but replay the moments they had shared together, searching for any clues or signs that he might have missed. But try as he might, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something the boy wasn't telling him. Something important.
With a heavy sigh, Toya leaned back against the chain-link fence, his mind clouded with worry. He wanted nothing more than to help Akito, to be there for him in whatever way he needed. But without knowing what was truly troubling the ginger, he felt completely and utterly helpless.
3.
As the final bell rang, Akito made his way to the school gates, feeling a mix of anticipation and dread. He spotted Toya waiting for him, leaning casually against the gatepost. When Toya saw him, he straightened up, a small smile playing on his lips. "Ready to go?" Toya asked, his voice calm and steady.
Akito simply nodded, not trusting his voice to not betray the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him.
The walk to his house was silent, but it wasn't a particularly uncomfortable silence. It was the kind of silence that only two close friends could share, where words weren't necessary to fill the space between them. Toya obviously knew that Akito had something on his mind, but he chose not to inquire about it, much to Akito’s relief.
Once inside the Shinonome residence, the pair settled at the dining table, textbooks and notes spread out before them.
“Alright,” Toya began, his tone patient and steady, “let’s start with the basics of integration. Do you remember the fundamental theorem of calculus?”
Akito stared blankly at the page, then shook his head slowly. “Not really. It's like my brain just shuts down when I see this stuff.”
Toya chuckled softly. “Okay, let’s break it down. The fundamental theorem of calculus links the concepts of differentiation and integration. Basically, it states that if you have a continuous function on an interval, the integral of the function over that interval is related to its antiderivative.”
Akito frowned, already feeling a headache coming on. “So...integration is like the opposite of differentiation?”
“Exactly,” Toya nodded encouragingly. “See, it’s not so bad. When you differentiate a function, you’re finding its rate of change. When you integrate a function, you’re essentially finding the area under the curve of that function.”
Akito groaned, dropping his head dramatically onto the table. “This is so confusing. How am I supposed to remember all this?” he muttered, voice muffled against the wooden surface.
Toya laughed gently, and before Akito realized what was happening, he felt a gentle hand run through his hair. The touch was shy, almost hesitant, but it sent a jolt of electricity through his body, making his heart race.
He quickly lifted his head, eyes wide as he looked up at Toya. "Ah–I’m sorry," Toya apologized, his hand retreating quickly. "I just thought it might help."
Akito shook his head, stopping Toya before he could pull away completely. "N-no, It’s uh," he stuttered, his voice coming out much softer than he intended. "I...it, um…feels nice."
A faint blush spread across Toya's cheeks as he then ran his hand through the ginger’s hair a second time. Akito's heart felt like it was about to burst right out of his chest as he stared at Toya, who was gazing down at him almost affectionately.
The words he had been holding back for so long were suddenly at the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out.
"I like y–"
A loud knock echoed through the apartment, causing both Akito and Toya to jump in surprise.
Akito glared at the door, waiting for Ena to answer it, but the silence that followed reminded him that right…she wasn't home yet. With an annoyed sigh, he pushed himself up from the table.
"Hold on a sec," he muttered, heading for the door. His frustration only grew when he opened it to reveal a face he wasn’t particularly pleased to see.
"Oh, lil’ bro! What a surprise!" Mizuki greeted cheerfully, reaching out a hand to ruffle Akito's hair playfully (much to his chagrin).
"I told you to stop callin’ me that,” Akito scoffed, desperately trying to smooth his hair back down.
“Aw, you’re so cute when you’re mad!” Mizuki teased, brushing past the boy and stepping inside without so much as waiting for an invitation. "Where’s Enanan ?"
“How should I know?” Akito deadpanned, choosing to ignore the weird nickname. “Aren’t you guys like best friends? Ask her yourself.”
“So rude!” Mizuki gasped in mock offence, bending over to begin untying their boots.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Akito sighed, watching as they produced a pair of fluffy pink slippers from their bag and slipped their feet inside them, making their way further into the apartment.
“Waiting for Ena, obviously,” they replied, before plopping down on the couch with a content sigh.
Suddenly, Akito heard them let out a loud gasp of surprise. “Toya-kun?! What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you again, Akiyama-san,” Toya, who had been quietly observing the interaction, greeted politely. “I’m helping Akito with calculus,” he explained, sending a fond look towards the ginger.
Mizuki’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Ooh, how studious of you! I didn’t know you had it in you, lil’ bro!”
Akito rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the subtle jab. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I had much of a choice,” he muttered under his breath, settling back into his seat beside Toya.
As Mizuki and Toya continued to chat animatedly, Akito couldn’t help but slump back into his chair, feeling completely and utterly defeated. It was like the universe was conspiring against him. He could feel the frustration bubbling up inside him, clenching his fists.
He glanced at Toya, who was laughing at something Mizuki said and felt a pang of longing. Why was it so hard to find the right moment? Every time he tried to speak his truth, something or someone always interrupted.
Mizuki’s voice broke through his thoughts, snapping him back to the present. “Lil’ bro, are you good? You look like you’re about to explode.”
Akito forced a smile, though it felt more like a grimace. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied tersely, though his clenched jaw and tense posture betrayed his true feelings.
Toya’s concerned gaze shifted from Mizuki to Akito. “Are you sure? You can tell me, you know. If something’s bothering you.”
“I’m just…tired of calc,” Akito lied, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
He knew he couldn’t keep this up forever. Sooner or later, he would have to find a way to tell Toya how he felt, interruptions or not. But for now, all he could do was wait and hope that the next moment would be the right one.
4.
As the final note reverberated in the air, Akito felt his pulse quicken in sync with the crowd's thunderous applause. His heart swelled with a mixture of exhilaration and pride as Vivid BAD SQUAD concluded their set, the stage lights dimming to mark the end of their electrifying performance. Drenched in sweat, fueled by the collective energy of the audience, Akito and his bandmates exited the stage, their hearts pounding with the residual adrenaline.
Backstage, amidst the crackling atmosphere of triumph, Akito's gaze met Toya's, and in that moment, they shared an unspoken understanding of the euphoria coursing through their veins. With a broad grin, Akito extended his fist. Toya, his smile a mix of bashfulness and genuine warmth, reciprocated the gesture as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
"Man, you were on fire out there, Toya!" Akito's voice brimmed with excitement and genuine admiration. "Your vocals were insane. Seriously, you blew me away."
Toya's grin widened at the praise, his eyes sparkling with appreciation. "Thanks, Akito, though I think everyone had their eyes on you. Your energy is always infectious. It’s...inspiring."
As Akito listened to Toya's words, a sense of pride swelled within him. The bond they shared, the dynamic synergy they brought to the stage—he never wanted this, any of this, to end.
"Nah, it's you who inspires me.” Leaning in closer, Akito's gaze intensified, his words infused with sincerity. “The passion and commitment you pour into every performance—it’s amazing, really. I... couldn’t ask for a better partner."
A flicker of emotion crossed Toya's features, a hint of warmth colouring his cheeks. "I...feel the same way. You know, Akito, I wouldn’t be where I am— who I am—today if it weren’t for you."
For a moment, the world seemed to slow down, the roar of the crowd a distant memory. Akito's eyes locked onto Toya’s, and a sudden realization struck him. The energy, the connection, the adrenaline pumping through his veins—it was now or never.
"Toya," Akito began, his voice softening but resolute. "The truth is…well…I think I might have feelings for—”
But before he could articulate his thoughts further, An suddenly bounded up to them with Kohane in tow, their eyes alight with excitement. "You guys were phenomenal out there!" An exclaimed. "We totally need to celebrate! Kohane and I were thinking of grabbing a bite to eat—care to tag along?"
Each word felt like a dagger to Akito's fragile resolve. Disappointment crashed over him like a relentless tide as he watched Toya nod his head.
“Yeah, sounds fun,” Toya smiled.
The way Toya had agreed so quickly stung Akito deeper than he cared to admit. Each nod of his head felt like a stab to his chest. As Toya began to walk away, following closely behind An and Kohane, he suddenly glanced back, pulling Akito out of his stupor.
“Hey, you coming?"
“Oh, uh, yeah, I’ll catch up,” Akito responded with a forced cheerfulness.
Toya stared at him for a few seconds, as if he was seeing right through the fake smile plastered on his lips. His gaze lingered, a mix of concern and curiosity before he finally turned and walked on. The distance between them seemed to stretch infinitely, each step Toya took away from him echoing in Akito's ears.
Once Toya was out of earshot, Akito groaned loudly, slumping to the ground and burying his face in his hands. Why was it so hard to just say the words? Why did the universe seem determined to thwart him at every turn?
Slowly, he stood up, brushing off his clothes and taking another deep breath. He had to find a way to gather his courage again. Maybe tonight wasn't the right moment, but that didn't mean the right moment would never come, right?
…Right?
As Aktio made his way towards the direction his friends had gone, he could hear their laughter in the distance. He'd join them, he'd laugh, he'd try to enjoy the evening. And maybe, just maybe, he'd find another opportunity to tell Toya how he truly felt.
But for now, he'd keep the hope alive in his heart, nurturing it until it was strong enough to withstand interruptions and doubts. Because in the end, Toya was worth it. Every moment of anxiety, every pang of unspoken words, was a testament to the depth of Akito's feelings. And one day, he'd find the courage to share those feelings with the person who mattered most. For now, being by his side was enough.
5.
No, scratch that. Just being by his side most definitely was not enough.
It had been a few days since Akito last attempted to confess to Toya, and the weight of unspoken words was becoming unbearable. The way Toya absentmindedly twirled a strand of hair around his finger when he was lost in thought, the soft hum of a melody escaping his lips as he worked on his music, the gentle curve of his smile that lit up his entire face—each mannerism was a fresh pang in Akito's heart. When Toya adjusted his glasses with a slight push of his index finger, Akito's chest tightened. When Toya laughed, a light, melodic sound that seemed to make the world a little brighter, Akito felt his resolve waver. The urge to reach out, to touch, to bridge the gap between them was overwhelming.
He couldn't keep living in this limbo, caught between hope and fear. In fact, the thought of Toya not knowing the depth of his emotions was even more tortuous than the idea of rejection. He needed Toya to know how deeply he felt, how every moment spent in his presence was both a blessing and a torment. He needed him to understand that his feelings were more than fleeting glances and unspoken words. He needed Toya, completely and irrevocably.
So, with a determined resolve, Akito decided that today was the day. He would find Toya after school and finally share everything he had kept locked inside. He would lay his heart bare, trusting that their bond was strong enough to weather whatever came next. For Akito, it was no longer about just being by Toya's side; it was about being with him completely, in every way that mattered. And he was ready to make that leap, because Toya, of course, was worth it.
As the school bell rang, Akito rushed to Toya’s classroom. "Toya!” he called out from the doorway, his voice firm and resolute as it echoed through the classroom.
Toya jumped slightly before he turned towards him, a soft smile playing on his lips as he finished packing his bag and approached the door.
"Hey, Akito. What’s up?" Toya inquired, his gaze curious as he halted in front of him with a warm smile plastered across his face.
Akito felt his heart stutter. He could feel the eyes of Toya’s classmates on him, probably thanks to his less-than-subtle entrance. Gathering his resolve, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the confession he had rehearsed countless times in his head.
“Hey…can we…talk for a minute? Outside?" he requested, gesturing towards the school courtyard where the cherry blossoms bloomed in their full glory.
“Is everything alright?” Toya was quick to ask, expression contorting into one of genuine concern.
“Y-yeah, yeah. It’s cool. Just…” Akito began, scratching his cheek nervously. “I’ll explain everything, I promise.”
Toya's eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, but he nodded nonetheless. "Sure…lead the way, partner.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Okay,” he stuttered in response, all while wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “Let’s go, then.”
With his heart hammering in his chest, Akito quickly led Toya outside, the delicate pink petals of the cherry blossoms fluttering gently in the breeze. The sight was breathtaking, but Akito's attention was solely focused on Toya, who walked beside him, his presence both comforting and nerve-wracking.
He stole a quick glance at the boy, feeling his heart skip a beat at the way his soft features became illuminated in the warm afternoon sunlight. 'God, he's so pretty,' Akito thought, a blush creeping up his neck at the realization. He quickly willed away the thought, trying to steady his racing pulse.
Hesitantly, once they were under the canopy of blossoms and out of direct view of any passersby, Akito turned to face Toya, his hands trembling slightly as he reached forward. He prayed that his palms weren’t too sweaty as he gently took Toya’s hands in his own, the warmth of their touch sending a jolt of electricity through him. With one last quick glance around the courtyard to ensure they were truly alone, Akito swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. This was it, no turning back.
"T-Toya," he began, cringing at the way his voice cracked as he said his name. "There's uh, something I’ve been meaning to tell ya." He paused, gathering his thoughts, but his mind suddenly felt as blank as the sky above them.
“Of course, Akito. You know you can tell me anything.” Toya's gaze was fixed intently on him, patient and encouraging, and yet, Akito couldn't find the right words to express himself.
"I...um..." Akito stammered, trying desperately to string a proper sentence together in his mind.
Toya's expression softened, his hands squeezing Akito's reassuringly. "It's okay, Akito. Just take your time."
Akito took a deep breath, willing himself to push past his nerves. "Right, okay," he muttered, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I've been meanin’ to say this for a while now, but...I don't really know how to word it. So, um...I’m just gonna wing it…”
Akito's heart clenched as he noticed a subtle shift in Toya's expression, his eyes widening ever so slightly as he awaited his next words.
"I...I really like spending time with you. Like, a lot. And...uh...I think you're really awesome and talented and...cute—no—handsome. Well, you’re cute too, but uh…” Jesus, this was turning out to be a lot more humiliating than he’d anticipated. “Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I—"
"Aoyagi-san!"
…
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Akito felt like he was about to explode when he recognized one of Toya's classmates walking towards them, a faint blush on her cheeks. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what was going on, what she was about to say. Hastily, he dropped Toya’s hands, feeling a surge of anger flow through him.
Toya turned towards the girl, a polite smile on his face. "Oh, hello. Asumi-san, was it?"
The girl nodded enthusiastically, glancing briefly at Akito before seeming to disregard his presence entirely as she turned to Toya with a determined look on her face. "I've been meaning to talk to you," she admitted, swaying nervously from side to side. “Can we…chat for a minute?"
Akito's frustration boiled over as he watched the scene unfold before him. This was supposed to be his moment, his chance to finally tell Toya how he felt, and now, just like every other time, it was being stolen from him.
No way. This was not happening again.
"Excuse me,” Akito snapped, unable to contain his anger any longer. “But who the hell do you think you are? Can't you see we're in the middle of something here?"
The girl froze, blinking in surprise at Akito's sudden outburst. Toya shot Akito a stunned look, taken aback by his uncharacteristic aggressiveness. If he was being honest, Akito was equally surprised at himself. He almost felt bad for the girl, the way she jumped back at the sound of his voice. So much for his “nice guy” persona.
"Uh, sorry," the girl mumbled after a few moments of silence, her cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. With that, she hurried away, leaving Akito and Toya alone once again.
Toya swiftly turned back to the ginger, his expression a mixture of shock and concern. "Akito, what is going on with you?" he asked, though his tone wasn’t angry. In fact, it sounded almost—desperate.
“I–” Akito breathed, unable to meet Toya’s gaze. “I just…I need to go.”
Without another word, he turned on his heel and dashed away, doing his best to hold back the hot tears that threatened to spill out from his eyes.
Maybe some things just weren't meant to be.
+1
Akito ran. And ran. And ran until he was all the way back home, but not before checking over his shoulder to make sure that Toya hadn’t followed him (though he’d be lying if he said a little part of him didn’t wish he had).
‘Looks like Ena’s home,’ he thought to himself as he placed his shoes down beside her’s in the entranceway. Then suddenly, a terrible idea came to him. A really, really awful idea.
And before he could pause to think rationally, Akito was already trudging towards his sister’s room.
Confiding in his sister wasn’t exactly high on his list of preferred activities, but desperate times called for desperate measures. With each step, his dread mounted, envisioning the inevitable barrage of snark and sass awaiting him behind that door.
Knock, knock, knock. Silence.
"Typical," Akito muttered under his breath, suspecting that Ena was likely engrossed in a voice call with her friends. ‘Well, here goes, I guess.’
With a slow creak, Akito pushed the door open, peeking inside cautiously. As he’d deduced, Ena was sitting in front of her computer, laughing and chatting away with her little Nightcord friends or whatever, seemingly too distracted to notice him.
Akito slowly made his way further into the room, before dramatically flopping face down on his sister’s neatly made bed, letting out a heavy sigh.
Ena suddenly spun around in her chair, startled by the sound.
"What the hell, Akito? Get out!" she yelled, but not before covering her microphone in an attempt to spare her friends’ ears.
Akito groaned internally. So noisy.
“Akito!” Ena exclaimed, growing increasingly frustrated when her brother didn’t budge. He could practically feel the girl’s irritation radiating off her. “What’s wrong with you?”
Akito let out another exaggerated sigh as he stretched his limbs out on the bed like he owned the place, all while ignoring his sister’s protests. “Your bed’s comfier than mine.”
Ena stared at him for a moment, before sighing defeatedly. “Sorry, guys,” she spoke into her mic, quickly typing something on her keyboard. “I’ll have to call you back.”
Begrudgingly, Akito rolled over onto his back and glanced over to where his sister was sitting, clearly awaiting an explanation. He could see the utter annoyance etched into every line of her expression. Now he was starting to get nervous. He never talked to Ena about his personal life, and never anything regarding, well, romance…
“Come on, out with it! I’m kinda busy here,” Ena urged, glancing back at her computer screen where she was working on a digital art piece, probably for one of her group's new MVs.
Akito draped an arm over his eyes, biting his lip as he contemplated what exactly he was gonna say. How do people talk about this sorta thing so casually? He could already feel the heat rising to his cheeks at the thought of it alone.
“Okay, if you’re just gonna be weird, then I’m gonna get back to—“
“I need help confessing to Toya.”
Guess he was getting straight to the point, then.
It was quiet. Too quiet. Akito slowly lowered his arm, observing Ena as she seemed to piece together his words. Then, suddenly, her eyes opened so wide that Akito half-expected them to pop out of her skull.
“Wait…what!? ”
“Are you seriously gonna make me repeat it?” Akito groaned, covering his now blushing face with his hands.
“Well you’re the one who randomly blurted it out,” Ena retorted, crossing her arms in exasperation. “So don’t blame me for being a little…surprised ?”
Akito wanted to die.
“I…like Toya.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
Well…this was going about as well as he’d expected.
“Look, that’s great that you have feelings and all, Akito,” Ena continued, sighing as she leaned back in her chair. “But what exactly does that have to do with me?”
Akito sighed…again. He seemed to do that a lot when it came to conversing with his sister. “I…don’t know. I don’t know anythin’ anymore.”
Ena snickered at that. "Wow, Akito, you're even more pathetic than I thought.”
"Thanks, Ena…real helpful,” Akito sarcastically remarked, grabbing the penguin plushie beside him and throwing it at her head.
"Hey!" Ena yelled, catching the plushie and quickly chucking it back at him. "Fine, sorry. You're not pathetic. You're just being a wimp."
Akito scoffed, staring up at the blank white ceiling above him. “I’m not being a wimp, I just can't seem to catch a break. Every time I’m about to tell him, either I freak out or somethin’ interrupts, and then the moment's gone. It seriously feels like the universe has some sort of shitty vendetta against me."
Ena rolled her eyes, slouching even further down her chair. "So, let me get this straight,” she tapped her chin thoughtfully. “You keep wimping out every time you’re about to confess your undying love to Toya, and now you're turning to me for advice? Wow, you must be really desperate."
Akito dragged his hands down his face, letting out a frustrated groan. "Look, can we please just focus on finding a solution instead of dissecting my poor life choices?"
Ena smirked, a wicked glint in her eyes. "Oh, don't worry, little bro. I'm full of solutions. Whether they work or not is another story."
Akito groaned again, thoroughly regretting every decision he’d made in life that led him up to this point.
Ena suddenly inhaled a deep breath, leaning forward in her chair with a serious look on her face. “But seriously, Akito, it’s not like you to give up so easily. You’re letting a few little interruptions break your spirit?” Her expression softened, a rare moment of genuine kindness flickering across her features. “Look, I get it. Telling someone how you feel is hard. But sometimes, you just have to push through the obstacles. If you keep letting every little setback get to you, you’ll never get anywhere.”
As much as Akito hated to admit it, Ena had a point.
"I know, It’s just...I don't want to fuck things up again. I’ve only got one shot at this,” he relented, rubbing his temples in an attempt to soothe the headache he could feel coming on.
Ena sighed thoughtfully, resting her chin on her hand. "You won't know unless you try. Plus, you and Aibou-kun are really close, aren't you? What’s the worst that could happen?”
Hm…that’s awfully similar to what Kamishiro said the other day. Akito shot her a skeptical look. "Um, rejection? Awkwardness? Complete and utter humiliation?"
Ena rolled her eyes, playfully swatting his arm. "Stop being so dramatic, it’s cringe. Have you ever considered that maybe, possibly, there’s a small chance that he could actually like you back?"
Akito felt his cheeks grow hot. Oh. He…hadn’t really considered that, no.
Ena watched her brother for a moment, expression softening once again. "Look, Akito, as lame and uncool as you are, I can tell that Toya really cares about you.” Akito’s eyes widened. Ena flicked his forehead. “You’re a dumbass.”
“Thanks...”
Akito looked at his sister for a moment longer, who looked back at him with a weird expression. Then, suddenly, she spun back around in her chair, logging back on to her voice call. Akito took that as a sign to take his leave. Slowly, he got up off the bed, stretching his arms out dramatically before walking towards the door.
Then, suddenly, Ena was looking at him again. Akito raised a questioning eyebrow, fingers just barely grazing the doorknob.
“Listen, Akito,” she started, turning slightly in her chair. “I know that I give you a hard time a lot, but I'm always here for you, okay? If you need advice or if you just need someone to listen, I'm here."
Akito searched her face for some sort of sign that she was joking, but he found none.
"Oh, uh…thanks, Ena," he mumbled, eyes trained on the carpet beneath his feet.
The girl rolled her eyes despite the hint of a smile on her lips. "Whatever. Now get out of my room before I change my mind."
Maybe she wasn’t so useless after all…
The buzz of his phone startled Akito awake. With a quick glance at his bedside clock, which read 8:02 p.m., he realized that his one-hour nap had somehow turned into a four-hour nap. Shit.
Akito reached over groggily to grab his phone. With a quick glance at the screen, he saw Toya's name, alongside a simple message: "you okay?"
Akito chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, unsure of how to respond. After a beat, he typed out a reply: "meet @ the park in 10?"
Toya's response was almost immediate: "see you there, partner."
A small smile tugged at the corners of Akito's lips as he read the message. With a newfound sense of determination, he threw on his coat and stepped outside, the cool evening air washing over him. The park wasn't far, just a few blocks away, but Akito found himself walking a little faster than usual.
Before he knew it, the park was just up ahead, illuminated by the soft glow of streetlights and the faint twinkle of stars above. Akito's heart fluttered nervously in his chest as he spotted Toya sitting on a swing, gently rocking back and forth.
Toya turned as he approached, a warm smile lighting up his face. "Hey," he greeted, his voice soft and reassuring.
"Hey," Akito replied, his own voice betraying his nerves.
Toya's brow furrowed with concern as Akito stopped in front of him. "Akito, are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.
“I—”
But suddenly, Akito’s breath hitched in his throat, and before he could say or do anything to stop it, a wave of tears began to spill down his cheeks.
Toya’s eyes widened, shock flashing across his face. "Akito...?" he stammered, his voice laced with confusion and concern.
Akito let out a sob, and then another, and another—his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. He tried to speak, to explain, but he couldn’t. It was humiliating, really. Crying in front of Toya like this. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to stop. "I…I can’t…" he choked out, his voice trembling.
“Akito—are you okay?! No, you’re obviously not—um, what do you need? How can I help?!” Toya asked desperately as he stepped closer, his arms hovering awkwardly in the air.
Now not only was Akito humiliated, but he also felt the familiar feeling of guilt wash over him. All he ever seemed to do was cause his partner to worry. ‘Toya deserves someone so much better than me.’ The thought echoed in his mind, only serving to make his tears fall harder.
But suddenly, Akito felt a pair of arms envelop him. He stiffened—the sensation was so foreign, so unexpected, that for a moment, his mind couldn't even begin to process it. The warmth of Toya’s body pressed against his own, the feeling of his hair brushing against his cheek, and the faint scent of his cologne all combined to completely overwhelm his senses. He could feel Toya’s heartbeat, steady and reassuring, against his chest. It was as if time had stopped, and the world outside of Toya’s arms ceased to exist. “Toya—”
"It's okay. You don't have to explain. I'm here."
Akito's mind whirled, his initial shock giving way to a flood of emotions. The contact, so intimate and comforting, broke down the last of his resistance. He hesitated, his body tense and uncertain, but the genuine care in Toya’s voice quickly melted his defences. With a shuddering breath, Akito let himself fall into the embrace, burying his face into Toya's shoulder, embarrassment be damned.
"It's alright, Akito," Toya murmured softly, again. "I've got you."
Akito sobbed, clinging to the fabric of Toya’s jacket desperately. "M’ sorry," he choked out between gasping breaths. "M’ such a mess."
Toya shushed him gently, arms tightening around his body ever so slightly. "You have nothing to apologize for," he whispered, running a soothing hand through Akito's messy hair.
"It's just...fuck...I'm such an idiot, Toya," Akito muttered shakily. "I've been tryna tell you something all week, but I just keep fucking it up, and now I'm being so lame and—"
"Hey," Toya cut him off. "You're not an idiot, and you're definitely not lame. Whatever it is, you can tell me whenever you're ready, okay?"
Akito sniffled, nodding slowly against Toya's shoulder. "Okay," he whispered, feeling a bit of the tension leave his body.
As his tears finally subsided, he reluctantly pulled away from Toya, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Shit— I'm so sorry," he babbled, wiping at his red, puffy eyes. "I can't believe I just— god. I'm such a loser."
Toya grabbed Akito's arm. "Akito—"
"I'm really sorry, Toya," he continued to apologize, the words tumbling out in a frantic rush. "I didn't mean to...I mean, I just...I'm so embarrassed."
" Akito—"
"I must look so fucking pathetic right now—"
Then suddenly, Akito felt a pair of soft lips meet his own in a gentle kiss.
For once, his thoughts were completely silent.
Akito froze, his eyes widening as he registered that Toya was, in fact, kissing him. But then, just as quickly as it started, Toya pulled back, leaving Akito completely and utterly dumbfounded.
"H-huh?” he stammered, slowly bringing a shaking hand up to his lips, the heat from Toya’s lips still lingering.
"I like you," Toya whispered, staring down at Akito with a fiery intensity in his eyes–one Akito had only ever caught glimpses of a couple of times when they were performing on stage. The only difference was that now, it was directed at him, and god— he really hoped that Toya couldn’t hear how loudly his heart was pounding.
Akito begged, pleaded with himself to say something, but try as he might, nothing would come out.
"I...I..."
Toya shifted his gaze to the ground, a flush creeping across his cheeks. "I've been wanting to tell you for a while now, but I didn't know how," he admitted, his voice filled with warmth and a hint of nervousness. "I'm sorry for dropping this on you, now. You just looked so upset—"
Akito felt like his entire world had just flipped on it’s axis. Literally what the fuck was this guy talking about?!
"Toya,” Akito cut him off, causing Toya to glance up. “You…you got it all wrong— I'm the one who's been trying to tell you! All week, I've been trying to find the right time to confess, but something always gets in the way, and—"
“Oh,” a look of realization flashed across Toya's face. “Wait, is that why you've been acting so weird lately?"
Akito felt his cheeks grow hotter if that was even possible. "Uh…I mean..." he mumbled, looking down as he picked at a loose thread on his sleeve. “I wouldn’t exactly put it that way…but yeah, I guess so...”
"Really? Wow, that’s a relief," Toya sighed, his expression softening. "I thought I might’ve accidentally done something to mess things up between us again."
Akito's head shot up in confusion. "Woah, woah, woah— you thought you messed things up? Toya, you could never mess things up between us. You're like...the most un-mess-up-able person I know."
Toya chuckled softly, a hint of self-deprecation in his tone. "I don't know about that. But...I'm just really glad that you’re okay. That we’re okay."
They stood there for a moment, the tension dissipating into the cool night air. But Akito's mind was still racing, his heart still hammering against his ribcage. His eyes met Toya’s, which shone with something he could only describe as fondness.
Did this guy ever get nervous?
"Seriously, dude, how are you so calm right now?" Akito asked, breathing out a laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Calm?” Toya echoed, tilting his head slightly to the side. “My heart's actually beating pretty fast right now, to be honest."
And damn, if Toya was telling the truth, then he was doing a real good job of hiding it.
Suddenly, Toya reached forward and grabbed Akito's hand, bringing it up to his chest and— oh... he wasn’t kidding.
“See?" Toya smiled, before lifting his free hand to place it over Akito’s heart. “We’re the same.”
Akito gulped, hard. "S-shut up."
Toya laughed, the sound a comforting melody that sent a warm flutter through Akito’s chest. But suddenly, a shadow of uncertainty crept into his eyes.
"Akito...what do we do now?" Toya asked, his voice tinged with a mixture of hope and apprehension.
"I...I don't know,” Akito admitted, chewing on his lower lip.
He really didn’t. Hell, just a few hours ago, Akito had convinced himself that Toya would never want to speak to him again. And now, here he was, standing just inches away from him, his hand lingering on Toya’s chest as he stared down at him affectionately. The mere thought of it was enough to send his mind spiralling into chaos.
“Uh, well…what do people usually do in this kind of situation?" he mumbled, though he already knew the answer. Maybe he just wanted to hear Toya say it.
Toya's gaze softened, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of Akito's hand. "Well, I suppose if we were to follow the typical course of action, it would make sense to…um…kiss…again. If you want.”
Akito's heart leapt into his throat. His legs momentarily wavered beneath him, but he quickly steadied himself and nodded in agreement, perhaps a tad too eagerly.
“Right...uh, yeah, that sounds... good.”
"Okay," Toya whispered, a shy smile spreading across his face making Akito’s pulse quicken.
Then, before he could fully process what was happening, Toya leaned in, closing the distance between them with a tender, lingering kiss that sent a jolt of electricity through Akito’s entire body. Toya's lips were soft and warm and moving with a gentle insistence that made Akito’s heart pound even harder than it already was. He hesitated for a moment, before remembering that oh, right, he was supposed to kiss back, and capturing his partner’s lips between his own.
Toya hummed softly in response, his other hand slipping around Akito's waist to pull him closer. Akito’s hands, which had been hanging awkwardly by his sides, instinctively moved up to rest on Toya's shoulders, gripping the fabric of his jacket tightly and fuck— this was so much better than he ever could’ve imagined.
Akito only realized that he’d been holding his breath once their lips finally parted, releasing it in a rush as they pulled away. They gazed at each other for a few moments, faces flushed and chests heaving. Akito's lips tingled. His head swam with a mix of euphoria and disbelief, like stepping into a dream he never wanted to wake from. His knees felt like they were going to buckle under him at any moment. Yet despite all of it, he felt absolutely exhilarated. It was a rush unlike anything he'd experienced, and he wanted more. So much more.
"Dude," he finally whispered after catching his breath, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "Is there anything you're not good at?"
Toya shrugged, before letting out a laugh. Akito stared at him, puzzled. "What's so funny?"
Toya grinned down at him, his eyes sparkling with joy. "Nothing, I'm just really happy."
Akito felt like he was gonna pass out. “You're an idiot."
He couldn’t help but feel the way his expression softened as he looked at Toya, his features glowing softly in the moonlight, blue hair waving gently in the breeze. Suddenly, he felt a surge of confidence and slowly stepped forward, hesitating for a split second before wrapping his arms tightly around Toya. His hands dug into the fabric on the back of his jacket while he allowed himself to bury his face into his shoulder once again. Toya froze for a moment, clearly stunned by Akito’s uncharacteristic surge of affection, before he hugged him back just as tightly.
"I’m really sorry for makin’ you worry,'' Akito murmured, his voice muffled by Toya’s shoulder. "I was just so terrified of screwing things up, of making you think less of me. But I just ended up hurting you in the process."
Toya shook his head before gently leaning it against Akito’s. “Hey, it's okay. I was worried, yeah, but I'm just glad we finally talked about it.”
Toya smiled, pulling back slightly to look into Akito's eyes, before softly whispering, “You don't have to suffer alone, Akito. I’m here for you, no matter what."
Akito felt his chest tighten with a strange feeling. Love? Yeah, something like that.
A new wave of tears threatened to spill out, but he managed to hold them back this time. “Thank you, Toya. For everything."
Toya smiled warmly, his eyes shimmering with affection. “You don't have to thank me. Actually, I should be the one thanking you, Akito. My life is so much brighter with you in it. "
"Huh!?" Akito felt his face turn beet red, looking away in embarrassment. “Geez, Toya…you can't just say stuff like that outta nowhere…"
Toya chuckled, clearly enjoying Akito’s flustered reaction. "Why not? It's true. I love you, Akito, and I'm gonna keep saying it until you get used to hearing it."
Akito groaned, covering his face with his hands. "You’re such a sap."
The front door shut behind Akito with a soft click, the memory of the kiss with Toya still making his heart flutter. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart as he headed for the hallway. The house was quiet, and if he was lucky, he could sneak back to his room without anyone noticing. But then, as he rounded the corner, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
There stood Ena with her arms crossed, her expression a mix of annoyance and curiosity. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, her voice low but intense.
"What’s it to you?” Akito grumbled, quickly composing himself. “Since when do you care where I go or what I do?" he asked quizzically, trying to brush past her.
Ena stepped sideways to block his path, her eyes narrowing. She opened her mouth to retort, before suddenly pausing, her eyes scanning Akito’s face. Her gaze zeroed in on the blush staining his cheeks and his slightly dishevelled appearance. Suddenly, realization dawned across her face, and her expression shifted from frustration to astonishment.
Oh no. Akito braced himself for what was coming next.
"There’s no way,” Ena's jaw dropped, and she stared at him, stunned. “Akito— did you actually confess?"
Akito’s blush deepened, and he looked away, trying to avoid her piercing gaze. "Why is that so shocking? I literally told you that I—"
"I can’t believe it! My little brother finally grew a pair! This is priceless!" Ena laughed loudly, making Akito wince.
"Shut up, Ena!" he groaned, feeling more and more mortified by the second.
Ena just continued to laugh. "This is amazing. I never thought I’d see the day! So, how did it go? Did you stutter? Did he accept— wait— did he kiss you?"
Akito's eyes widened in horror. "Ena, stop it! I’m not talking to you about this!"
Ena’s eyes grew even wider. "No shot you actually kissed him?! I have to tell Mizuki about this right now! They'll never believe it!"
Akito’s heart dropped. "Ena, I swear to god—"
Ena’s grin widened even further. "Oh, come on, it’ll be hilarious!"
"I’m serious, Ena!" Akito pleaded, his embarrassment turning into genuine panic. "Don’t you fucking dare!"
His sister only giggled, before turning on her heel and prancing down the hallway towards her room.
“ENA—”