Chapter Text
Rhaenyra knows it's over the moment Alicent walks into the room. The air’s been sucked out of the atmosphere, the Milky Way spun out of control, planets flung helplessly across the universe like steel orbs in a pinball machine, the earth T-minus ten seconds from spiraling into the fiery sun.
Rhaenyra knows it’s over when Alicent meets her eyes and smiles. She's wearing knee-highs and a dark green sweater far too big for her, sleeve falling off her shoulder, collarbones dipping into dark shadows across her skin. Alicent nudges her glasses back into place on the ridge of her nose, just as Rhaenyra tears her gaze away and tells herself to stop staring. But her heart flutters, skips a beat, as Alicent settles down beside her on the sofa, their knees brushing.
Rhaenyra knows it’s over in a single moment of heartache and helplessness. She makes up her mind.
“What do you want to do?”
It’s 6AM. They’re going back to King’s Landing in two hours. Their plane tickets are tucked safely in their pockets and their bags sit neatly on Rhaenyra’s living room floor. They’ve gone home together a hundred times, but this time was going to be different. She looks up at Alicent, her reply on the tip of her tongue-
“River?” Alicent asks.
“Yeah.”
“I can totally read your mind,” Alicent laughs, dimple showing. “I think I’m your soulmate.”
Rhaenyra flushes. If her love was a flower, then Alicent was the sunshine, just a million times brighter.
She’s going to tell her.
–
The trip back home is uneventful, save for the flipping of Rhaenyra’s heart as she recites her lines in her head. I love you, I love you, I love you-
“You okay?”
Rhaenyra snaps out of her daze. Alicent’s looking up at her concernedly. She pokes a french fry at Rhaenyra’s lips, and Rhaenyra opens her mouth without missing a beat.
“Yeah.”
“Really? You seem a little out of it today.”
“I’m okay.”
“Alright, but you know you can tell me if anything’s wrong.” Alicent says it like it’s a fact. Rhaenyra’s heart hurts.
“I know.”
–
They reach the riverside at 1:02PM, bags in tow because Rhaenyra said she really wanted to go while the weather was still good. They sit on the riverbank quietly, legs crossed, knees touching. Rhaenyra tears at blades of grass. Alicent hums the tune of Moon River. Eight minutes pass before either of them say anything, but the silence doesn’t grow cold. The sun peeks out from behind the moving clouds.
“I need to tell you something.” Rhaenyra starts, wiping her hands on her jeans.
“I know. What is it?” Alicent asks, gentle and warm, and for a brief moment Rhaenyra lets herself take in all that she’s about to lose.
"I-I,” Rhaenyra looks away, but Alicent can see the breath she's holding in the curve of her back and the sea behind her eyes on the verge of spilling over.
A tremor. A wave.
"I like you."
“I...like you too.” Alicent says, but her voice is heavy with trepidation.
Rhaenyra takes a deep breath, sucking air into her lungs as if oxygen was courage, the strength she needed to tear down walls and string together the feelings she'd kept unspoken for far too long.
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Hm?”
It’s barely a question because the look in Alicent’s eyes tells Rhaenyra she knows. It’s barely a question because Alicent can see the answer in Rhaenyra’s clenched jaw and paled knuckles. She can see it in the way her words seem lost on the tip of her tongue and the way Rhaenyra never meets her eyes. A hesitance not born out of doubt, but out of unshakeable certainty that her words were the truth, that they'd tip her world on its axis if she were only to utter-
"I'm in love with you," she says, voice barely a whisper, "I'm so in love with you, I don't know what to do." Rhaenyra's voice cracks under the weight of her fear and desperation. Salty waves roll, and hot tears fall. She gasps as the wall finally crumbles down. There’s a heartbeat of silence. The river shifts beside them.
“Hey,” Alicent says, wiping Rhaenyra’s tears off her cheek with her green sleeve. “Don’t cry.”
Rhaenyra lets out a sob, voice strangled by her breath, her heart in her throat. She reaches up and takes Alicent’s hand, pressing it softly against her cheek.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Alicent whispers, tender.
If Rhaenyra’s love was a flower, then Alicent was a rising tide, a summer storm.
“You won’t lose me, okay?”
Alicent says it like it's a fact. Rhaenyra believes her.