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Liam's first day of Astronaut Training (it has a proper name but it's too long and hard to spell for Liam) is scarier than he thought it would be. When he signed up to train to be an Astronaut he thought he would be straight in with rockets and wearing the funny suits but instead he gets put in a room with a dozen other people like him and is given a big speech involving phrases like a lot of pressure and thousands of feet a minute. He thinks it’s to try and weed out the not-fully-committed and it’s working; he's beginning to wonder if this is the right career path for him after all.
But he sticks around and makes friends with a happy-go-lucky boy at lunch called Niall so things aren't as bad as they first seemed; at least now he has someone to go through the gruelling (another word from the speech that morning) experience with. Niall is loud and permanently hungry. He makes Liam enjoy the experience more than he thought he was going to three hours previous. He’s also hilarious - he takes the piss out of their trainers when they're not looking (and sometimes when they are) and his dirty jokes have Liam blushing and giggling at the same time.
Liam goes home after his first day and when his mum phones at six on the dot he lies and tells her he's having the time of his life because he dropped out of Uni to chase this Dream (it is his dream, okay, it has been since he was five even if he's not acting like it is at the moment) and she's been iffy about it but she cheers up when he tells her he made a friend. This is a New Thing. In Liam's defence, he's always liked being on his own better, he preferred it, but it worried his mum and Liam hates worrying his mum more than anything in the world (even his first day of Astronaut Training) so now he has Niall and that's good enough for the both of them.
"What d'you think it'll be like, going all the way to Jupiter?" Niall asks through a mouthful of Coke one lunch time. It had been a tough morning with circuit training for three hours so Liam has to take a few minutes, gulping down the rest of his Sprite, before he can find it in him to answer.
"Amazing." is all Liam can think to sum it up. He thinks about this constantly, the whole Astronaut thing, so maybe the fact that he only has one real friend, who is also an Astronaut in Training, is a good thing because he can't focus on anything else.
That's another thing his mum worries about: his lack of love life. He had came out when he was sixteen and he's not totally inexperienced, he's had a couple of relationships, nothing too serious but serious enough, but his mum wants him to find a Nice Boy to bring home with him next time he goes to see her. And Liam, Liam hates disappointing his mother, but he really, truly can't look at another boy outside the building he's been spending six days a week for the last six months.
Then one day he's sitting learning about the engineering side of the mission (everyone has to learn about everything in case something goes wrong. Liam's been assured nothing should go wrong but y'know, better safe than sorry, learning about engineering isn't all that bad in a life or death situation), and their lesson is cut short when Walsh, their main tutor, comes in and tells them that there's been a change of schedule and they're being assigned their partners for the mission now rather than three months down the line.
This has Liam panicking a little because he's not good with people, not even a little bit, apart from his mum and Niall and his big sister (not his younger one, they just politely ignore each other, it's fine, it's amicable) and so the thought of having to spend the next year, at least, with someone is a thought that makes his throat close up and a sort of gurgling noise comes out that results in Niall sending him a sharp look.
"Maybe we'll be partners, eh?" Niall grins, seeing the way Liam has broken into a cold sweat, and takes Liam's wrist to lead him out the room and into the one down the hall that Walsh barks contains the Other Group of Astronauts who train on the Other Side of the Building and who Liam has never seen before.
"Yeah. Maybe." Liam says just for the sake of it as they file in.
After not much of an introduction (Walsh barks a few more times, something about relying on your partner with your life and other frightening words like that and maybe Liam should leave right now because he can't have someone counting on him to save his life if need be. Think of the responsibility), a woman with brown hair and a very pretty face moves forward and begins pairing people off using the sheet in front of her. Liam wonders how it had been decided, who should go with who. Was it by age, weight, eye colour? Did they know Liam wasn’t good with people and paired him with another introvert? Or someone outgoing in an attempt to bring him out of his shell?
He watches on with dismay as Niall is taken from him and pushed towards a (gorgeous) boy with brown hair and blue eyes that crinkle when he grins at Niall and pulls him in for a hug instead of a handshake.
Liam is mourning the loss of his one and only friend when he hears his name called and looks up to find himself being ushered over to the corner where his partner is waiting.
And, okay. Wow.
Liam takes in the tanned skin, catching a hint of a tattoo peeking out above his collar, the floppy dark fringe and the giant brown eyes, his breath catching in his throat when the boy grins lazily. This is someone he wouldn't mind taking home to his mum.
The boy ("Zayn. Zayn Malik." Liam's told in a slow, deep voice) reaches out and shakes Liam's hand. Liam forces any thoughts about pushing Zayn, Zayn Malik up against the wall, fuck Training, and instead takes the hand in front of him and shakes it politely.
"Hi, I'm Liam." And God did his voice just squeak?
Zayn smirks. "Looks like we're going to be spending a lot of time together, Liam."
"Uh-huh." is all he can reply before Walsh announces that's the meeting over now and they've to go home; the training with their partners will start tomorrow.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Liam asks.
He's caught unawares when Zayn grins, showing all his teeth and crinkling his eyes. It's breathtaking and Liam doesn't think he can handle it.
"I'll look forward to it." Zayn tells him before raising his hand in a two-fingered salute then making his way across the room where he meets up with Niall's partner. Liam watches as Zayn is pulled into a hug, the other boy seems to like hugs, and feels a rush of jealously which is ridiculous because he's only known Zayn for a maximum of two minutes.
"Told you it would be okay, didn't I?" Niall is pulling Liam back out the room again, skipping along the corridor and Liam smiles at the sight because it really is okay. If he can stop acting like an idiot in front of his partner, that is.
"Yeah. Zayn seems... nice." He catches the look on Niall's face. "What?"
"You want in his pants."
Liam might be exaggerating but he thinks his heart just stopped. But then he feels it in his throat, choking on it. "W-What? I don't - He's o – Niall.”
Niall blinks innocently, pulling off his uniform trousers and tugging on his jeans. "What?"
"Your trousers are stupid." It's unrelated, stupid and false but Liam wants a new topic of conversation.
"No they're not." Niall laughs like this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard. Liam bets it’s not. Niall’s always telling Liam about wild nights out with his friends who all sound as loud and carefree as he is. He has this one friend called Harry who falls asleep in dog baskets and has a boyfriend who is ten years older than him. It’s a whole different world to Liam.
Liam shrugs. "If you're fine with your crotch being way down there than that's fine..."
"Liam." Niall's shaking his head and looking slightly sympathetic which is an emotion that Liam isn’t really comfortable getting from Niall who moans almost daily that he hasn't slept with someone in months. Niall thrives on sympathy. Liam’s more the keepittoyourselfandmaybeitwillgoaway type. "It's okay to fancy your partner. I don't blame you, he's fucking stunning."
Liam blushes. He busies himself with fastening his belt, not looking Niall in the eye when he admits, "Yeah. He is."
"Mine isn't bad either." Niall says with a grin as they leave the changing rooms and make their way to the main door. Liam's mind casts back to the brunette with the sharp cheekbones and bright blue eyes. No he's not bad at all. "Louis Tomlinson.” Niall sighs wistfully, “Wouldn't mind being in a small space with him for a long time, if you get what I mean." He nudges Liam and yes, of course Liam gets what he means.
"Well you’re going to be.” Liam laughs, “A rocket’s pretty small.”
“Pfft I’ll woo him long before then.” Niall scoffs, jerking his head towards his car silently offering Liam a lift.
Liam shakes his head. “See you tomorrow." he calls to Niall when they part ways in the car park; Niall getting into his car and Liam walking over the bridge. Niall offers him a lift at least three times a week but Liam lives in the opposite direction from Niall's flat and he hates putting people out of their way. Plus, he likes the walk home. It lets him think over all the things he's learned during the day; soaking it all in.
But today's different. Today all he thinks about is Zayn Malik and how much he would really really like to kiss him. Liam never makes the first move, though, unless he's drunk, which doesn't happen often. Zayn's probably straight, anyway, probably has girls throwing themselves at them from left, right and centre. Liam would do the same if he thought it would get him anywhere.
"Pull yourself together, twat." he mumbles to himself as he fiddles with his key in the lock. It always sticks which means he has to kick the door if he wants to get in. It's as he's doing this, feeling too violent, that his neighbour comes up behind him. "Hi, Mrs MacIntosh."
"Hello, dear." she smiles at him and he leans down to take the bags that she's sat at her feet. "It's a good thing you're here. I never would be able to cope with this door without you."
"It's no problem." Liam smiles, leading the way up the tiny stairs to the third floor where he sets the bags down in front of number 17, waving goodbye to Mrs McIntosh then letting himself into 18.
See? He's a nice boy with manners and all he ever does is good things; he never drinks or takes drugs, nor does he have any pierces or tattoos, so why has God given him a beautiful boy for a partner, knowing full well that Liam won’t be able to handle this and turn into a mess immediately. Liam doesn't deserve this.
When Liam's mum calls that evening, in the middle of his Friends marathon, he tells her that they've been given their partners for the next year or so and then whatever time they spend in space. It’s a funny thought, Liam thinks, that he'll be travelling the furthest he's ever been, to another planet, with a boy he's just met and who he stutters around.
"That's good, Li." his mum says, "Is he nice?"
Liam hears the silent "Will you be okay?" and tries not to be angry because he's not a child, he can interact with other people fine, it just doesn't happen often.
"Yeah." he replies and his mum can probably hear him smiling. She can probably hear everything else he's thinking as well.
She laughs. "I see how it is."
"Muuum, he's a nice person -"
"Of course he is, Li."
Liam's blushing so he changes the subject to what he had for dinner; his mum's biggest concern about him living alone.
~
"I don't think I can do this, Niall." Liam whispers the next morning as the two boys change into their blue polo shirts with the NASA logo on the chest.
"Do what?" Niall sounds muffled through the material of his top where he has gotten it stuck over his head. Liam reaches out and tugs it down, unable to keep the smile off his face at the way Niall wrinkles his nose then tries to fix his ruffled hair. "Think Louis likes the justrolledoutofbed look?"
"He'd be mad not to." Liam says kindly because Niall has a lot going for him even without perfect hair: he's charming and funny and cute and smart and why can't Liam have all these qualities.
Niall gives up on his hair and gestures for Liam to follow him out the changing rooms, leading the way down to the where they'll meet back up with their partners. With Zayn. "Back to you." he's saying cheerfully, "What are you worrying about?"
"Zayn." Liam whimpers. "He's too pretty."
Niall barks a laugh. "And this is a problem because..?"
"I can't act normal around him."
They've reached the room by now; Niall shoving Liam through the door with "Act yourself, Payne, and he'll love you!"
It's shouted way too loud. Liam is mortified. "Nia -"
A chuckle in his ear makes the word catch in his throat. He spins around, knowing exactly who is behind him but still biting back a gasp when he comes face to face with Zayn.
"Who're you wanting to please?" Zayn's lips curve into a smirk as he studies Liam and he's watching him so closely Liam has to try really really hard not to let his gaze slip down to Zayn's mouth.
"...y'know." he blusters, "People.” Yeah. Very convincing, Liam, well done. He can hear Niall snort from a few paces away.
Zayn’s eyes are brown, Liam discovers once he’s forced himself to make eye contact with him again. Deep, chocolate brown that Liam feels himself fall further and further into the longer he stares.
And then he actually falls. Into Zayn’s arms.
“Woah.” Zayn catches him, his hands on Liam’s elbows and they feel like they’re burning his skin (Zayn’s touching him, he squeals mentally) but that’s not what makes him jerk away. He does that because he’s just fallen into a boy’s arms because he was staring at him too much. He’s not even drunk. This is ridiculous. “You okay?”
Liam pulls himself together. “Yeah. Yeah m’fine.” He lifts a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, looking at the floor instead of the concerned frown being directed his way (and the many other not so kind looks from their peers). He can cope with Zayn being hot (just about, anyway) but he can’t be nice as well. “Sorry about that.”
“You sure? You’re not going to faint on me or anything, are you?” Zayn lifts an eyebrow.
“I promise I won’t faint slash puke slash bleed on you at any point over the course of our partnership.” Liam places a hand over his heart and he just made Zayn laugh. His stomach swoops at that accomplishment then nearly jumps right out his body when Zayn circles his wrist lightly and leads him out the room, still chuckling.
“Where are we going?” Because Liam has no idea what him and Zayn are even meant to do. He had been so focused on what was going on around him, acting to the best of his ability, until Zayn came along and batted his stupidly long eyelashes making Liam a puddle at his feet.
“Walsh said we’ve to “get acquainted”.” Zayn makes quotation marks with one hand since the other is still on Liam’s wrist, leading him through the twisting corridors of the Space Academy. “So I thought we could go a walk, give us a bit of privacy y’know?”
Liam’s mind goes into overdrive at the thought of a bit of privacy with Zayn; he has to take a second to sort out the many many thoughts rushing through his head, none of them related to space or time, before he can come up with a reply for Zayn. “Sounds, uh, good.”
Zayn glances back at him then, smirks, then tells Liam: “You don’t have to look so worried, I’m not gonna eat you. I have food in my car.”
“Food? You’re after my heart, Malik.”
Liam doesn’t know where a line like that came from, that’s the type of thing Niall would say, not Liam who can barely string three words together in front of Zayn but Zayn laughs again, loud and happy so it bounces off the corridor walls, and says that’s his plan. Liam likes Zayn’s laugh.
Liam’s fucked.
Zayn’s car is a red Range Rover with a Superman air freshener dangling from the rear-view mirror. Liam leans against the bonnet, his arms folded across his chest and his legs crossed at the ankles, as he waits for Zayn to find whatever food he has.
“You drive?” Liam hears being called from the passenger side where Zayn is bent over, his head nearly under the seat.
“Yeah. I can. I just choose not to.”
“Why?” Zayn’s straightened up again, his hair (in a quiff today, Liam can’t decide if he prefers it to the flat fringe or not, it could take a lot of pro-ing and con-ing to decide) bent slightly. Liam resists the urge to reach up and sort it for him. Zayn would probably recoil in horror and never smile at him again. Liam doesn’t think he could live with that so his arms remain where they were. “Is it a personal reason? Should I take back my question...?”
Liam realises then that he’s spent the last few seconds staring at Zayn’s head instead of answering his question. Feeling like a moron he shakes his head quickly and laughs, “No no, I just like walking better. I don’t live that far away so what’s the point in creating more pollution then needed?”
“Eco-friendly Liam.” Zayn assesses, opening the bag of Tangfastic Haribos he found and offering the bag to Liam who gratefully takes an orange dummy and cherries. He skipped breakfast this morning, didn’t have time, so he’s starving.
“It’s not like that. I don’t go on protests or anything.” Liam tries to argue but then Zayn’s smiling again, the one that makes his eyes crinkle at the corner and whatever train of thought Liam had leaves swiftly. “I just –“
“Chill, Li.” Zayn’s given him a nickname. Liam processes this quickly, celebrates internally then moves on because he can’t keep acting like a twelve year old girl every time Zayn is nice to him. He has to spend over a year with him. “You could help me reduce my carbon handprint.”
“Footprint.” Liam corrects, grinning and taking the purple crocodile Zayn offers him as they start walking across the car park, aiming for the park on the other side. “And how would I do that?”
“We could walk home together?”
He chews his sweet slowly, pretends to think about it then shrugs. "I suppose we could do that."
Zayn laughs at that, the laugh that makes Liam's toes curl and his heart beat that bit faster because it sounds so happy. "I don't want to force you." And then he winks. Liam can't say anything for a minute or two.
"We're supposed to be getting "better acquainted" you said." Liam twists the conversation to something he knows something about; nudging Zayn's side with his elbow (Liam is flirting. Properly. Niall will be proud). "So come on, acquaint yourself with me."
Liam feels Zayn's eyes roam over him at that, his eyebrows rising and his smirk widening as he continues to stare. Liam's got an inch on him, if that, and is probably stronger, but the way Zayn's looking at him just now, mysterious and hungry, shows more power than Liam could ever have. It shouldn't be a pleasant feeling but it makes Liam warm from the inside out.
"I'm from Bradford." Zayn starts with a drawl, "I have three sisters and about thirty pets at home -"
"Thirty?!"
"Four cats, two dogs, a rabbit, guinea-pig, couple of mice, a turtle, snake, lots of fish..." Zayn recites, sounding bored by the zoo in Bradford. "I love Drake and cheese pizza. Your go."
Liam doesn't know what to start with. He has one friend? He has one kidney? "I hate Drake." Insult his music taste, very good. "I mean -"
"Oh yeah?" Zayn surveys him then pulls a packet of fags out his pocket, fumbling for a lighter. Liam tries not to show his surprise. "And what do you listen to? The Spice Girls?"
"Uh -" He doesn’t. Well. His sisters dragged him to their reunion concert a couple of years back and okay it wasn’t the worst thing Liam’s ever been to. His defence is that he enjoyed it because Mel B had a lot of stage presence and their songs were really catchy. He’s not a fan, alright?
"This is okay isn't it?" Zayn asks, waving his cigarette between them. "Do you mind?"
Liam just shrugs. He has no right to judge Zayn. Besides, he thinks he might be one of those people that find smoking attractive. Or maybe he just finds everything Zayn does attractive. "The Spice Girls haven't realised anything new in forever." he mourns.
Zayn hums.
"Is that Spice up Your Life?!" Liam asks incredulously. He can't imagine smoking, tattooed Zayn Malik listening to the Spice Girls.
"Well it's the best one." he says defensively, taking a draw of his cigarette, Liam watching the line of his jaw, wondering what it
would be like to run his tongue along it. "Why are you blushing?"
Liam recovers hurriedly, looking away from Zayn's jaw. "I'm upset you've uncovered my obsession."
"It's not too bad as obsessions go." Zayn concedes. "Who's your favourite? If you say Ginger you’re wrong.”
"Sporty. My sisters always said we were the same cause we wore trackies all the time."
"I’m going to assume you wore a crop top as well." Zayn winks, and then chucks a sweet at Liam. "Posh has the Beckham advantage. Can't sing for shit though."
"Mel C was the best singer by far -" Liam stops himself, shakes his head with a disbelieving laugh.
"What?"
"I can't believe we're discussing the Spice Girls."
"Spice Girls were class, mate." Zayn argues. He stubs out his cigarette, crushes it beneath his heel then says, "Better be getting back. Fuck knows what Louis' done while I’ve been gone."
"That's Niall's partner isn't it?"
“Niall?” Zayn tilts his head and Liam finds it fucking adorable. “Oh yeah. You’re friends with him right? He seems cool.”
“Yeah he’s great.” They exit the park, dodging a couple of kids on bikes that ring their bells and holler nonsense at them.
“You known him a while?” Zayn ignores the kids, focusing on Liam so Liam tries to do the same but it’s hard when there’s a boy tapping his knees and telling him his hair looks stupid.
“Wha -? Oh Niall?” Liam side-steps the biggest one, attempting a menacing glare but from the muffled laugh from Zayn he’s guessing it didn’t turn out the way he wanted. “Nah, I met him here on the first day.”
“Is Niall your boyfriend?” one of the boys asks. Great, now Liam is blushing therefore Zayn is going to think Niall is his boyfriend.
“Oi! Do one.”
If Liam had said that the boys would have tittered and ignored him but they stare up at Zayn for a split second, Liam can practically feel the awe and respect rolling off them, then the biggest one, the leader Liam guesses, does a 180 spin on his bike and leads them away, yelling over his shoulder that last one to his is a rotten egg.
Zayn’s smirking when Liam turns slowly to gaze at him in wonder. “Did you hypnotise them? Is that your secret?”
“You’ve just gotta show authority.” Zayn ducks his head and then – Liam must be imagining it because Zayn wouldn’t blush – he says. “So, like, is Niall your boyfriend?”
That might not be what is said because Zayn is mumbling and not looking at Liam but Liam is going to pretend it is for so many reasons that he can’t even get his mind around so he answers it the best way he can. He splutters out, “No. No he’s definitely not.” Then, because he feels this is uncomfortable enough and they should probably get important information out the way now rather than later, he says: “But I am gay, yeah.”
Zayn doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at Liam. He leads the way back into the building, back along the corridors to where Louis and Niall are, still not looking at Liam.
Liam does the obvious thing and starts freaking out. Just before he opens his mouth to say he was only kidding, he loves girls, please talk to him, Zayn yanks on his arm to stop him from going into the room before turning to face him, giving him the same beaming smile from earlier then leans in close, so close his cheek is brushing Liam’s and okay, that’s something Liam’s going to have to obsess over later. He would do it now but Zayn is talking and he thinks it might be important based on the last words exchanged between them.
“Sorry for my reaction.” Zayn murmurs directly into Liam’s ear, his breath hot on Liam’s skin. “I was just getting my head around the fact that we’re in the same boat which I think makes things a lot more interesting. You see, I’m gay too.”
“That’s... good?” Liam replies and oh, he’s back to squeaking.
Zayn chuckles, leaning back so he can look at Liam properly. “Yes it is. See you at lunch, Liam Payne.”
“Lunch?” Liam feels like he’s been knocked on the head; his words are all jumbled and all he can see is Zayn. Zayn and his big brown eyes and stubble and tight t-shirt.
“I thought it would be a good idea for the four of us to sit down and get to know each other. You’ll really like Louis, I reckon, and I want to get to know your friends.” Friend - singular, Liam thinks, before: Oh God, Zayn wants to have lunch.
“Sounds good, see you then.” How he said that without embarrassing himself Liam will never know. He has to find Niall. Now.
~
He’s not in the changing room, nor is he in the kitchen (surprisingly), or the toilet which leaves Liam feeling confused and panicked because it’s 11.45 and lunch starts 12.00 and he needs one of Niall’s weird pep talks to calm him down.
He finds Niall out the back of the building. He’s not alone. In fact, he’s being pressed against the wall and kissed thoroughly by someone Liam thinks he recognises.
“Niall?”
Niall pulls away with a disgusting slurp and looks over Louis’ shoulder at Liam. “Oh. Hey, Liam!” Louis glances back to see Liam then tilts his head up to whisper into Niall’s ear making Niall’s pale skin blotch red. Niall stutters, pushing him away with a giggle. “Gerrof me, Lou.”
Louis grins and whispers some more before finally turning around and walking over to where Liam is frozen in the doorway, the sounds of people making their way to the canteen filtering out from behind him. “Liam, we haven’t been properly introduced! I’m Louis.”
Louis’ accent is Northern sounding and friendly, just like Zayn’s, but his eyes are sparkling blue and his hair is sticking up in a way Liam can’t tell is intentional or the result of Niall’s hands. Either way, Louis suits it. He’s quite beautiful, Liam realises, and he must be a nice bloke or Niall wouldn’t be... doing whatever he has been with him. Snogging against walls by the looks of it.
“Liam.” He replies with a smile, holding out a hand for Louis to shake before – oh yeah, Liam forgot Louis is the guy who loves to hug. “It’s, uh, nice to meet you.”
"Lovely to meet you too, Liam Payne," Louis grins and the effect is blinding. "Zayn’s been telling me about you. I didn’t believe him when he said you were hot but I see it now.” Louis winks then smiles knowingly. "He's looking forward to spending time with you."
"Niall said the same about you." Liam says because his brain is short-circuiting (Zayn thinks he's hot Zayn is looking forward to spending time with him Zayn thinks he’s hot). "Uh, you seem to be getting along fine -"
"Bonding. We're bonding. Right, Ni?" Louis slings an arm round Niall's shoulder, pulls him close to whisper something else in his ear, and then tugs him over to where Liam is standing. "Come on, Zayn gets cranky when we're late. One of his few flaws." he tells Liam, still with that knowing smile which makes Liam feel just that bit uneasy.
"Can't keep him waiting then, can we."
Lunch is an odd affair with too much talking from Louis, too much laughing from Niall, too much staring from Zayn and Liam feeling way out of his depth.
~
He finds solace in meteorology class; a class that Zayn and Louis aren't in.
He can't concentrate as much as he'd like to, however, as Zayn's words from earlier are still ringing in his ears make, things a lot more interesting being his favourite, along with I’m gay too. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up because come on. Zayn is like, a million times hotter than he is. But Liam’s stomach is twisting in the way he loves and sort of hates all at once because he hasn’t liked someone in so long that even his mum has noticed and he doesn’t even live at home. But at the same time... having a crush on his partner won’t help him be an astronaut any faster. He doesn’t want to be distracted by Zayn’s eyelashes that are the length of his pinkie (he thinks. He hasn’t been creepy enough to go up and measure them. Yet.) or the way Zayn says Liam’s name all soft and mumbly like he’s just woken up and he doesn’t want to notice that all the time Liam’s been staring at Zayn Zayn’s been staring right back. These are all things that will stop him focusing on his Dream properly and, well, he doesn’t care one bit.
For the second time that day Liam realises he’s fucked.
~
It’s a month later that Liam finally brings up Louis. Truthfully he had expected Niall to have not shut up about it since Liam had caught them in the act but, oddly, he’d kept silent about the whole thing, teasing Liam instead on the flirting that had been going on between him and Zayn.
They’re getting changed, getting ready for another new day with their partners (Walsh has had them working together almost every day, teaching them much more at a faster pace, there are rumours circulating the building that the shuttle is going to be launched sooner than they all thought and there’s still so much to do), when Liam brings it up.
“So you and Louis, huh?”
He enjoys watching the blush from Niall’s cheeks spread all the way down his chest to where he’s buttoning his trousers. Then Niall sort of splutters and Liam’s day gets even better because who knew Niall could be as awkward as Liam.
“It’s going that well? Well that’s good.” Liam can’t help but smirk. Niall has been incessant with his lewd comments about Liam and Zayn, even when Zayn is around, so Liam is taking pleasure in this. So much pleasure.
"Shut it." But Niall's grinning, looking the happiest Liam's seen him, so Liam doesn't think he's done any harm.
"It's funny," Liam says, leading the way down to the control room. Today is an exciting day: they're getting to experience the feeling of hurtling into space at thousands of miles a minute. "I don't think I've seen anyone blush so much."
"Look in the mirror next time Zayn speaks to you," Niall smiles sweetly then darts away from Liam's half-hearted swat to speak to Josh.
"Niall."
"What's he done now?”
Zayn has this way of sneaking up on Liam, his movements so quiet that Liam only notices he's there when he opens his mouth.
Liam sighs. Since he started Astronaut Training his life has became too surreal to explain. "S'nothing. What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too." Zayn runs a hand down Liam's arm, smirking at the way Liam shivers. Liam sighs again. See? This is how his life is surreal. "You promised to walk me home a month ago..."
"Oh." Liam says like the thought hasn't crossed his mind every time he sees Zayn's red Range Rover pulling in to the car park. "Right."
"Louis gave me a lift this morning."
This is an invitation, Liam guesses. He should probably reply. Being Liam, though, he nods his head very quickly, says "Front gates. Four o clock" then runs over to where Niall is standing in the queue to get into the control room.
They get strapped into a large machine that isn't shaped like a rocket but has a screen in the front that makes it look like they're in one. The simulator jerks and spins and Niall is looking very pale beside Liam, his hand clutching at Liam's thigh. Liam loves it; he smiles as it speeds up, a disembodied voice telling them they've just broken through the Earth's atmosphere and are hurtling towards Jupiter.
It stops after about fifteen minutes and the astronauts-to-be disembark shakily, some of them muttering about how maybe they're not cut out for this after all and others saying that was fucking incredible. Liam's definitely in the second category; his veins are pumping with adrenaline and he can't keep his face from splitting into a smile.
Niall has to run ahead to throw up - first category nonsense.
When Liam and Niall stroll out the building at four o clock, Zayn is standing waiting for him over by the gates. He's leaning against the metal, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he texts, and Liam is hit with a rush of feelings (lustlustlustawelust) that are a hundred times stronger than when he first met Zayn.
"See ya tomorrow." Niall says, and all Liam can do is raise a hand in reply, too busy trying to walk over to Zayn without tripping (it’s something he’s been known to do).
“Hi.” Zayn says, smiling around his cigarette and reaching out to run a hand down Liam’s arm, something he’s taken to doing (Liam thinks it’s because he knows Liam loves it and likes to make him suffer because, like, Liam shivers every single time and that’s not something he wants to do in front of Zayn. It’s not cool).
“Hey, Zayn.” He doesn’t think he shivered too obviously, he’s getting better, see. But now Zayn’s hand is just sort of brushing Liam’s and Liam doesn’t know what to do with that. He asks questions instead. “How was your day? Did you get a shot in the simulator?”
They start walking. Niall honks as he’s passing and they both wave before Zayn answers. “Yeah it was good. Uh-huh, I really liked it, got me looking forward to the real thing. You didn’t throw up or anything, did you?” he adds, eyeing Liam apprehensively.
“Hey, I took an oath didn’t I? I swore I wouldn’t throw up on you and I’ll follow that through when we’re in the rocket.”
“You’d better.” Zayn warns, “I’m not good with sick, Louis will tell you that. He gets really bad hangovers, the lightweight that he is, and trust me, it’s always best to stay well away.”
“What a good best friend you sound,” Liam laughs, “In sickness and health, and all that.”
Zayn shoves Liam so he stumbles across the pavement, both their laughs loud and bright in the street. It’s empty, apart from them, and Liam has never felt happier, never felt this free.
“We’re gonna be good partners, right?” he says before he can over think it. “Like. We’ll make it to the end.”
“’Course, Li.” Zayn smiles, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, like the first time Liam laid eyes on him and that reassures him; it’s all going to be okay. Liam lets out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and just smiles, looking at Zayn and Zayn looking right back.
He crosses his eyes when the silence is getting a bit too intense for his liking making Zayn snort with laughter then sling an arm round Liam’s shoulders. It feels like Liam’s known him for so much longer than just a few weeks. He’s no longer Zayn Malik: the smoking wannabe bad-boy; now he’s Zayn who knows all the words to every Take That song (he claims his sisters made him listen to them but that lie’s as transparent as Liam’s Spice Girls one) and likes tuna and pickle sandwiches and has a tattoo on his chest of his Grandad’s name in Arabic because he misses him so much. He’s Zayn with the quiff and Zayn with the extensive knowledge of the Spice Girls and Zayn whose bad jokes can make Liam laugh until his stomach hurts. Liam knows Zayn so much more but he still can’t read the emotion that flashes across his face sometimes when he’s talking to Liam. Liam wants, needs, to know what that is because he thinks it could be good and that makes his whole world feel like it’s turning upside down.
“You doing anything tonight?”
His mum will probably phone, he might watch a couple of episodes of Friends, do his laundry. Wild. “Not really, you?”
“Nah, me and Louis were gonna go out but he text me saying he’s meeting Niall.” Zayn pouts, looking stupidly adorably. Liam hates himself. “I’ve been ditched, Lee-yum.”
“Oh. Well –“
“You wanna go to the pub or summat?” Zayn’s leaning in too close, Liam can smell him. Is this a thing he does just to drive Liam insane; dangling himself in front of Liam so that Liam wants to kiss him and do other things that aren’t suitable to think about in public, or is he, somehow, miraculously, still unaware of the way Liam’s body reacts to these moments. “My treat.”
“Uhh...” Liam’s not a big drinker; he had some medical problems a while back and still only sticks to the occasional pint or two when he’s out. But this is Zayn offering... he’d be willing to drink a whole brewery if it meant spending time with Zayn. “Yeah, alright.” He doesn’t sound too eager does he? Treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em mean his mum had always told them. Well, she’d told his sisters but the same rules applied, surely.
“Great.” Zayn beams. “I’ll text you my address and you can just come round, okay?”
Liam nods and they exchange numbers, his fingers tingling as he types his into Zayn’s phone.
“This is me.” He realises when he lifts his head to see they’re approaching his street and yep, there’s Mrs MacIntosh trying to get the door open. They rush forward, Liam kicking open the door (he’s going to have to phone the council again tomorrow, how hard is it to fix a door?) while Zayn lifts Mrs MacIntosh’s bags over the threshold.
“Thank you, Liam.” She beams, smiling at Zayn as a way of thanks. “Always such a gentlemen.” There’s a beat where everyone is smiling politely at one another, Liam’s palms getting sweatier by the second, before she adds: “Well, I’ll leave you to it.” And, with a pointed look that makes Liam flush and pointedly not look in Zayn’s direction, Mrs MacIntosh closes the door behind her leaving Liam and Zayn alone.
It feels like a cliché from one of the films Liam’s sisters used to squeal over – they both have their hands shoved deep in their pockets, Liam chewing on his lip nervously as Zayn ducks his head looking, for the first time since Liam's known him, shy and unsure of what to do next. They glance between the ground and the other, looking away when they make eye contact.
"Ah fuck it." Liam thinks he hears Zayn mumble before Zayn is getting closer and closer, so close Liam can see the tiny scar between his eyebrows, right where they furrow.
Zayn kisses him. Yes, okay, it was a peck, a split second kiss on the lips before he practically ran down the street, but in Liam's head, where he's been obsessing over him for weeks now, this is a milestone.
He grins, feeling like an idiot, before he snaps himself out of it and rushes inside to get ready because he has a date (it's a date in his eyes, okay) with Zayn.
~
That night when his mum phones Liam's bouncing on the balls of his feet nervously, looking at the clock and wondering when is the appropriate time to leave. Zayn had said i'll meet you at The White Horse at seven , first round on me aha :) x and Liam doesn't know what do because the pub is only a five minute walk away and it's six forty five and he doesn't want to look eager and he doesn't want to be late and, ugh, this is when he thinks he needs Niall.
He gets off the phone in record time ("Mum, I love you, but I have to go - No I'm not going to space tonight - Drinks with a friend - A friend - No, no I'm not telling you – Yes it’s Zayn. No, Mum, I won't tell him you say hi, you don't know him - Right, okay, love you!"), changes his jeans twice then ends up running down the stairs.
"My mum says hi."
Zayn looks up with a start. He smiles at Liam, looking marginally confused which Liam happens to find adorable (what is he saying - of course anything Zayn does is adorable. Liam is an idiot). "Uh, tell her hi back?"
"Ugh. Fine." Liam sighs, flopping into the seat across the table from Zayn, "You look..." Amazing, if he is being completely honest, which he isn't. The quiff is gone, back to the floppy fringe that Liam just wants to push back as he kisses Zayn. He's got on dark jeans that, from what Liam can see under the table, are so tight they make Liam's brain short-circuit, and a tight black top. He looks, in all honestly, like sex on legs.
"Wonderful? Disgusting? Moderately average?"
"Good." Liam blushes, "You look good."
Zayn smirks. "What a wide range of vocabulary you have, Liam Payne. Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself. It's nice seeing you out of your uniform." Zayn pauses, his eyes flickering all over Liam. "Not that you don't look fit in that."
Liam can't stop the smile spreading on his lips at that. Well, this evening is progressing steadily in the right direction (Or, this could all be a set up and Zayn doesn't actually find him attractive at all, but Liam doesn't think Zayn would do something like that. He always looks for the best in people and setting someone up to hurt them isn't something a Good Person would do. He should know, he is one).
“Are you flirting with me?” he has to ask, has to know. He manages to pass the question off as casual and joking (he hopes), so he doesn’t look completely pathetic.
Zayn just laughs and goes to get the drinks, leaving Liam to panic and then smile when he goes back over the conversation in his head. The pub isn’t crowded yet but it’s busy enough for Liam to lose sight of Zayn when he’s at the bar, his heart stuttering when he comes back into view, two drinks in his hands.
He smiles his thanks, taking his drink from Zayn, then returns to the subject from before. “You didn’t answer my question, Zayn.”
“I thought the answer was obvious.”
“Zaaaayn –“
“Look you’re doing that whiney thing you always do when Niall does something wrong.” Zayn says, looking delighted.
Liam scoffs. “I don’t whine.”
“Mate, you whine all the time. It’s cute. Sort of like a puppy.”
Liam is building up an argument in his head then decides being compared to a puppy isn’t the worst thing in the world and lets it go. “Well you’re – you – Louis and Niall are hooking up.” Of course he can’t think of any form of insult to get back at Zayn so he settles for the next best thing: gossip.
“Yeah, I know. Niall’s barely away from our flat.” Zayn drawls, taking a large gulp of his beer. Liam shudders. He’s not that fond of beer but he’s drinking it because Zayn bought it for him and, well, apparently he’s that sort of person now.
“Oh?” Niall’s round at Louis and Zayn’s flat all the time? Liam can’t help but feel a bit hurt that none of them have ever invited him round. It’s not like he would be a third wheel if Zayn was there, unless Zayn has a date of his own and then Liam would just be an awkward, jealous, fifth wheel. But he thought Niall would have said something about being at Louis’ place; Liam had been expecting detailed accounts of the colour of Louis’s bedroom walls and what sort of toothpaste he used for God sake.
“Mm. I wanted to ask you but Louis said I’m not allowed to bring you back unless I plan on fucking you the second we’re through the door and. Well. It’s taken me a few weeks to build up to that.”
“Oh.” Liam says again, very very faintly. “Louis sounds rather unreasonable.”
“Do you think?” Zayn leans back in his chair, looking every inch a model and making saliva pool in Liam’s mouth at the thought of what Zayn had just told him, emphasis on the fucking. “That puts a stop to my plans for tonight then.”
Calm down, Liam. Just calm down. Yes Zayn implied he wants to have sex with you, but he’s not going to if you keep blushing at everything he says so pull yourself together.
“Not – not necessarily.” Liam swallows down a mouthful of beer, grimacing, then stands up. “I’ll get the next round shall I?”
Zayn’s staring at him with such an intensity Liam wants to look away. But he doesn’t, he stands his ground and only breaks eye contact once he’s turned round to get Zayn’s Jack Daniels and Coke and a double vodka for himself (if he’s not at least a little bit drunk he’s never going to get through tonight without embarrassing himself. Alcohol will at least give him an excuse as to why he tells Zayn he thinks he loves him or why he breaks every glass in Zayn’s kitchen or one of the many many other things Liam could do tonight).
Nine o clock is all they get to before the sexual tension crackling between them gets too much. Zayn keeps brushing Liam’s leg with his foot, getting higher and higher each time. Liam’s not much better; the vodka has gone to his head quicker than he was expecting and he keeps winking at Zayn whenever anything remotely sexual is said. He doesn’t know why he does it – he’s not a winker (is that a thing? If he had to describe himself he would definitely say smiler over winker), but Zayn laughs each time so he continues doing it.
“Y’wanna head back to my place?” Zayn grins, his lips looking so so pink and full that Liam has to physically hold onto the seat to stop himself from lunging at him. Nobody wants a repeat of when he fell into Zayn’s arms. That seems so long ago now, a different Liam who wouldn’t get drunk and make innuendos and wink at hot boys.
“You’re corrupting me.” He announces, standing when Zayn does. He’s pleased with himself when he doesn’t sway too much, the room only shifting marginally before his head sorts itself out.
“You’re doing that all on your own, mate. I’m just supervising you.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm yourself.”
The air is cold when the step out the pub, goose bumps immediately appearing on Liam’s arms. Zayn notices and slings an arm around Liam’s shoulders, pulling him against his side. It doesn’t really work because Liam is slightly taller than Zayn but Liam’s not planning on moving away. Instead he winks again (he really should stop that or it’ll become a habit) and smiles, leaning into Zayn.
“This is the most relaxed I’ve seen you.” Zayn says, his voice low and directed into Liam’s neck.
Liam thinks he should be offended but he isn’t. “I just really want to be an astronaut.” He says as though this explains it all.
Zayn understands. Liam can tell when he tilts his head to look at him properly, he can see the awe and excitement shining back at him in Zayn’s eyes, the same things he feels whenever he thinks about his dream, about going up up up until they’re so far away Earth is nothing but a dot.
“We’ll get there, one day.” Zayn whispers. “Me and you.”
They’ve stopped, somewhere on a street lined with tall terraced houses and streetlamps that make Zayn glow. He looks nothing like the tattooed smoker Liam first laid eyes on all those weeks ago. It's like Liam can see deep inside him now. He looks like Liam does – a boy with a dream too big to fit on this planet, and Liam thinks he’s halfway in love.
“Yeah. Taking the universe by storm.”
That's when Zayn kisses him. Liam gasps at first, not expecting what he had been fantasising for months to actually happen, but then he kisses back, Zayn’s lips feeling even softer than he imagined and cold from the air so a shiver runs down his spine. His arms wrap around Zayn’s waist, pulling him closer, feeling hands settle on his shoulders, fingertips digging in once twice before Zayn is breaking the kiss and stepping back, a goofy grin in place.
“So, you fancy coming up?” He jerks his head to the door nearest them. The garden is full of flowers of every colour, overflowing from their beds and sprawling onto the tiny square of grass in the centre. It doesn’t look like the type of place that is lived in by two teenage boys but Liam hasn’t seen the inside yet.
“Sure.” Liam smiles, scuffing his trainers along the pavement. The walk sobered him up and he’s suddenly shy again. “I like your garden.”
He hears a scoff and looks up just in time to catch Zayn rolling his eyes. “I don’t have anything to do with it. It’s all Louis. Now can we go in and have sex?”
Liam shrugs like it’s all one to him (he’s having a fit on the inside, his heart thumping and the butterflies in his stomach are threatening a mutiny but he’s managing to keep himself under control on the outside, just). When Zayn rolls his eyes again he laughs and pulls at the front of Zayn’s t-shirt so he can kiss him again, this time licking into Zayn’s mouth. Zayn tastes of beer and the ready salted crisps they shared in the pub. It makes Liam smile and kiss harder, keeping a hand on Zayn’s t-shirt as Zayn tows him along the path and through the door.
~
When they walk into training together the next morning (Liam in one of Zayn’s t-shirts which he actually likes a lot and might end up keeping), Niall and Louis wolf whistle and smile knowingly. Liam, true to form, blushes and curls into Zayn as Zayn flips Louis the bird.
“Liam.” Zayn says to coax Liam out of his neck and back into the world. “Liam, babe.”
“What?” Liam doesn’t understand why he can’t stay there forever; it’s warm, it smells nice and, well, that’s enough reasons. He’s trying to act like an adult, though, so he leaves the sanctuary of Zayn’s neck and looks at him.
“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
“I wanna zigazig ah.”
~
The five of them (Liam, Zayn, Louis, Niall and a nice boy called Josh) end up being the first people to Jupiter. The journey takes so so long that Liam feels about a hundred by the time they come home (he’s not, but when you’re in a space shuttle for that length of time, even with the increased speed and engines that have been invented, your sense of time becomes warped), and all he wants to do is curl up with Zayn and a mug of tea, none of that powdered crap he’s been living on, and watch Friends for a fortnight. They get made heroes, presented with medals and everything, and his mum cries on national television.
It’s when he’s finally doing what he wanted – watching Friends with Zayn and the world’s biggest mug of tea – that he realises he’s been to space and back. He thinks back to when they had approached Jupiter, the giant planet looming in front of them looking powerful and majestic. Zayn had grabbed him and hugged him as tightly as he could, babbling about stars and love and magic. For that moment it had felt like time stood still, the two of them taking on the universe, together.
fly me to the moon, let me swing among those stars
in other words, i love you