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Sometimes, lost people will have an epiphany and be able to break the dead end that keeps following them. They are free to express their opinions and move because they have finally solved the puzzle in their lives. Like breathing new air.
Then there are two things, death and life. Lost people can be dead or alive.
Sometimes, those who live in some cases will feel lost about their lives. Not knowing where to go or just not knowing their destination. But, they will certainly receive guidance as said earlier. However, some didn't get a single answer at all. And increasingly lost without direction.
The dead can also lose their way, those who are lost will always go here and there looking for clear answers, doing everything they can to free them from eternal torment. They don't know that there are still things stuck in their hearts that they have to resolve before they actually leave.
Around 1991, many things had happened. Soldiers who had participated in the Gulf War retired, accompanied by the side effects of the war.
Can they remember the names of the soldiers? Probably not, many died in the war and were only given short memorials and some really weren't remembered. The rest is just history that will be forgotten later.
But what would happen if one of these soldiers suddenly woke up?
It felt strange, his head felt empty. All he felt was the moment his death came, like the symptoms of phantom pain. He no longer thinks, but the pain keeps coming, sometimes it can be very painful and other times it will subside a little.
For several days, Robert did not appear, maybe even rarely because his spiritual power was not there. So he just looked at his unkempt grave and continued to ponder his fate, even though anger often came and drilled into him. He's angry at people who don't even understand him, but is he really angry at them? That's a difficult answer.
People say that dead people go to hell or heaven. But what about him? Hell was the right answer, but he didn't even go there, still trapped in the human realm with a transparent body.
He was angry about many things, that he couldn't leave this earth properly, and also because there were family discussions that had not been discussed further. Everything else is a personal matter.
Currently, Robert has a little strength to communicate because the past few days he was completely unable to speak due to the pain that continued to arise.
He was silent and stood between the graves, looking at Bianca's tombstone beside him. That woman, she knows very well. that she miscarries and dies a week later. But he didn't know much because he was busy with politics and war.
"Over a miscarriage, how pitiful." Robert said nonchalantly, sharp sarcasm floating between his tones.
"It seems that you can speak now!" A woman's soft voice echoed between Robert's ears, hearing this, Robert quickly looked behind him.
Robert looked like he was going to be surprised but he knew that this woman would talk to him sooner or later.
Robert narrowed his eyes, "I know you." It is indeed Bianca that is speaking.
Bianca smiled slightly, her hands clasped behind her thin waist. "You know me, I know you." She said, "you died months ago."
But why did he only wakes up as a weak ghost last week?
"Hah! I know, you don't have to remind me that I'm dead." Robert sounded quite annoyed at Bianca's words. His forehead furrowed, "Your grave has always been very clean huh." Robert's gaze seemed to say that he was looking down on her.
"It's not like I could do anything for your grave." Bianca answered lightly, looking at Robert's grave a little gloomyly, the tuxedo hat on his gravestone was also very dull.
"Don't give my grave that look of yours, your pity isn't needed." Robert takes lead in the conversation again to make Bianca look at him.
Bianca then just shook her head slowly, a smile still on her sweet lips.
The two of them are completely inversely proportional.
"Your family is mourning for you." Bianca simply said with a straight look at Robert.
Robert continued to look at Bianca with a condescending look, "They're not mourning for me, but for you."
"What makes you say that, Robert? I don't think anyone would ever play favorites over the dead one." She felt that Robert's thoughts were quite funny.
"You know what? It's quite good being dead, I could no longer hear unnecessary sounds and get nausea." Robert said.
Good enough for him, but even so, he still felt that maybe something else would come.
"You've always looked so sick Robert." Bianca added after that with a slightly worried face, Bianca often saw Robert when he was alive, but not anymore when Robert went to help in the war.
"Sick? Hah! Im never sick, a man shouldn't be sick." Sometimes a man has to look healthy to be perceived as someone who displays authority.
Bianca let out a sigh from her smiling mouth. "A man is also a human."
"Well I'm not a human anymore." Robert said frankly, a human would not look like a rotting corpse.
But Bianca, she looks like an embalmed corpse.
"Who are you supposed to be then? Just a ghostman?" Bianca tried to talk casually with Robert, her words were still soft and slow. As if she didn't want to scare Robert or make him nervous.
"You can call it like that. Or even call me a damn dog." Robert felt that Bianca seemed to want to irritate him in his mind.
Bianca was not happy when Robert told her that she could be considered a dog. Who is the person who can look at others that lowly?
Then Bianca spoke, "did you often not taken seriously, Robert?" Anyone who sees Robert as a dog is unlikely to show respect.
Robert stopped for a moment just to look at Bianca with a face that also became normal. Then suddenly he looked away, "that's none of your problem." he babbled.
"Not my problem... Im sorry Robert but I'd like to know what's wrong with you." Bianca has a feeling that Robert is a man full of anger, he could lose control of his emotions and do reckless and bad things.
Robert gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I told you that this is none of your business, woman."
Bianca took a small breath, "Is it about Edward? He's been nice to you Robert-"
"Nice?! Oh yeah, very good! He sees me like im sort of a dog in need of attention! Like im a fucking wild vile animal." Robert suddenly shouted words with vague meaning, it's difficult to understand.
"So stop trying to understand me, you all never understand me, never." Robert couldn't believe them.
Bianca was a little surprised, but she still stood with a sad look, her smile increasingly resembling a frown. "How did you die, Robert?"
"...Can we stop with the question and answer game? You're so full of curiousity Bianca." Robert just wants Bianca to stop forcing answers out of him.
He felt uncomfortable and unsafe.
Bianca gave her last smile and turned her body to the side, ready to leave. "Alright then."
For a moment, Bianca was really going to leave, but Robert slightly noticed a nasty mark on the back of Bianca's neck. Then he really paid attention to her neck.
Robert walked a little closer, "What is that?"
"I'm surprised that you didn't see this at the first glance." Bianca slowly turned her body towards Robert again.
"It's like someone has strangled you." Robert said in a curious manner.
Bianca gives a wry smile, "i hung myself."
"Oh." Robert froze a little when he heard things related to that.
Ah, so that's how it is. Bianca did not die because of a fatal miscarriage symptoms, but because her baby died.
Which mother wouldn't feel devastated when the baby in their womb died before they could see their baby. There isn't any that wouldn't feel that way.
Her baby died, so the woman also wanted to be with her child who would never grow up to be a good and filial child.
Robert didn't say any more, just looked at Bianca with a little pity.
"Have you ever known the feeling of suicide? What do you think of it?" Bianca always wanted to know if people would ever understand her suicide attempt.
Robert thought, then answered, "painful."
"You understand so much, Robert. It was indeed painful for me. Hanging myself resulted in my slow death." Bianca also spoke with a gloomy gaze looking in another direction.
"But it's fast for me." Robert added.
"Fast for you?" Bianca didn't really understand then looked at Robert again.
"Suicide, it's fast for me." At least they now have one thing in common.
Bianca didn't know that Robert also died by suicide. It made her sad, the soldiers who came home from war never felt safe again and were always anxious. They kept imagining so many tragic scenes in the battle.
But in the end, their struggle will be deemed in vain because all they get is death, injury and trauma.
Bianca then asked again, "but how is it painful for you, Robert?" Usually people die quickly because their brains are hit first.
"even your emotions can drain you." It drains him.
Then Bianca seemed to see a lock open, everything seemed clear to her. She knows how it feels.
Robert died quickly, but his emotional pain remained.
He then moved his jaw again, "I shot myself."
The woman had a little fear that in the end a soldier like Robert would die by suicide. But it seems that this fear has clearly come true, even though there are many families who can help Robert. But why does Robert still do it? It's also impossible for Edward not to know that Robert thinks that way.
"And we ended up stuck here after all." Bianca said after that, the fact is that people like them have committed suicide. Can't go to hell or heaven.
They are simply lost people, because they took their own lives.
Their bodies seemed restless, they kept wandering around without a definite goal, but Bianca had her own goal.
Robert? He didn't even want to have a goal anymore, he just wanted to die properly without having to see the world again and suffer. He really doesn't have any goals.
There was only anger left, and it was hard to control. This makes him sometimes lose empathy for other people.
Even in death, he still remembers.
What a difficult thing to understand. But if you are a broken person, maybe you will understand.