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He knows that going look after Clarke can end up badly… There are too many dangers in the forest, but he just can’t be in Camp Jaha without doing anything.
He leaves at night, trying to not be noticed by anyone. He should know better. His sister is the one who caught up with him. She’s patrolling the gate and finds him trying to sneak out.
“Where are you going Bell?” She asks, curiosity in her voice.
“I can’t be here anymore O, I need to go after Clarke,” he says.
“And you’re going NOW?! Alone, and in the middle of the night Bell?” Octavia says, sounding concerned.
“If I don’t go now, and the council discovers my plan, they are going to try to stop me.” Bellamy says, trying to convince Octavia to let him go.
“Bell, I understand that you need to do this, hell, I don’t even know how you didn’t do this earlier, but at least you need to have back up with you.” Octavia says.
“It’s easier for me to look for her alone O, I don’t want to put anyone else at risk.” Bellamy replies.
“And you think that I’m going to let you go, alone, risking your life?! Bell, at least take Lincoln with you. He knows the forest better than any of us.” Octavia suggests.
“And how about you O? Who’s going to take of you if I go with Lincoln?” Bellamy says.
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me big brother, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m going to go get Lincoln. Don’t you dare leaving before I come back with him,” Octavia warns him.
Watching his sister turn his back to him, and going in the direction of the tent that she shares with Lincoln, Bellamy lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.
He misses Clarke. He misses her support, her belief in him.
It’s been three months since she left.
He’s part of the council now, helping Abby and Kane making the decisions, being the link between the adults and the “delinquents” that first came to earth. The ones who are still alive.
But it’s not the same without Clarke.
Since they started leading together, still at the first camp, before the grounder attack, before Mount Weather, before everything went to hell, they had already balanced each other in leadership.
He misses his partner, his friend, the woman who always trusted and believed in him. The woman who, after his sister and his mom, he let in in his heart.
After a few minutes of waiting, Octavia appeared with Lincoln by her side. She already had explain to him what Bellamy was thinking of doing because the first thing Lincoln says to him is “It took you long enough to make that decision Bellamy.”
“Be safe, both of you. Don’t you dare get yourselves killed,” Octavia says warning them.
Lincoln says goodbye to Octavia and Bellamy gives his sister a hug before they leave and walk into the dark forest, where Bellamy is going to try to find his light again.
Bellamy knows it’s almost impossible, after three months, to find clues on the ground but he suggests they start their search at the dropship.
It’s the first place he remembers Clarke could go without being trapped by the dangers that hide in the forest.
“So, after all this time huh? You finally make the decision to go after Clarke.” Lincoln says, walking side by side with Bellamy.
“You and Octavia can stop. I thought that I was doing the right thing. Letting her go, giving her space. But something is telling me that she’s not alright. It’s just a feeling, and better now than never right?” Bellamy replies to Lincoln.
“Yeah, better now than never,” Lincoln says, “Now, let’s continue walking and see if the dropship can give us some clues as to where to begin.”
They walk in the forest during the night. It’s not a long walk from Camp Jaha to The 100’s previous camp, and it’s easier because Lincoln really knows the area better than anyone else.
When they get to The Dropship, they go inside to see if there’s something different about it. It’s a long shot, but Bellamy will take it.
They search for something off, something different and recent and they find Clarke’s old clothes, the ones she was wearing when she left Camp Jaha.
“This was what she was wearing when she left,” Bellamy says to Lincoln, picking up the clothes from the ground.
“Well, at least we know that she was here,” Lincoln says.
Bellamy can’t take his eyes off of the clothes. She was here. He can’t stop thinking if only he had follow her sooner, he could have found a way to help her.
“I can try to talk with Nyko, I think he can help us to try to find her,” Lincoln says.
“I don’t want you to risk your life because of this. I don’t want you to get yourself in trouble trying to help me,” Bellamy says, caution in his voice.
“I’m not going to get myself into trouble. I know who can help us and I want to help you Bellamy, you would do the same for me,” Lincoln says.
“Are you sure?” –Bellamy asks, carefully.
“Yes, I’m sure. Tomorrow we are going to find Nyko, my most trusted friend. If he has information, he will help us. Now, we need to rest. We have a long walk ahead of us in the morning,” Lincoln says, trying to find a place to sleep, walking away from Bellamy.
He’s thinking about how reckless this is. How he didn’t think about how this plan could go wrong. He gets out of the dropship and starts walking around, trying to put his head together.
He goes to the graveyard, where the ones who died are resting. He looks at the graves and finds himself talking to himself. He’s in front of Wells’ grave.
“Remember when I told you that we have something in common? That we both come down here to protect someone who we really care about? Well, let’s add another thing to that list. I love her too.” - Bellamy says, looking into Wells grave.
He’s talking about Clarke.
He has tears rolling down his face because he suddenly knows how Wells felt when he told him that he was invisible to her while Finn was around.
He’s feeling invisible now; she’s not around and he misses her.
He goes back to the dropship and finds a place to rest.
Tomorrow morning they are going to try to find clues about where Clarke is and he needs to get his head back in the game.
He closes his eyes, afraid that nightmares will come to haunt him, but the last thing he sees before he fall asleep is the color of Clarke’s blonde hair.
He’s going to find her and the light will be back in his life once again.