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Onewhisker notices Whitetail struggling in her training, so he asks her if she is willing to extend their training sessions longer.
Whitetail says yes.
At first, it was gradual. He was just a concerned mentor looking out for his apprentice. Whitetail didn’t mean to feel anything for him. Not at first. There was a strict boundary between them. Onewhisker was her mentor, and she was his apprentice. That was that. That was final.
Until Whitetail began to see past Onewhisker’s stern exterior.
The extra time spent together began to blur the lines between mentor and apprentice. Onewhisker’s patience, his steady guidance, and the rare moments when he shares stories of his past with her creates a bond that extends beyond training. Whitetail finds herself looking forward to their sessions, not just for the skills she would learn, but for the time she got to spend with him.
(she can’t love him. he’s her mentor.)
But his eyes linger on her a bit longer than they do the other apprentices. One can argue that was because Whitetail was his apprentice, but the look – it lingered in his eyes a little too long. A look so gentle and soft and caring, one that she had never seen before in her life, and she would know it immediately if she saw it again.
Onewhisker constantly brushes a bit too close to her. Of course, it’s not on purpose, but Whitetail likes to think it is.
She begins to grow attached to him and does everything possible to gain his validation.
Onewhisker knows.
He uses it to his advantage and begins to spend more time with her.
Whitetail doesn’t know this, but she does everything she can to have him look at her longer.
She’s never been loved by anyone before, not even her own parents, so she spends every moment with him, begging for his attention.
Then, Whitetail finds out that she’s not the only one who fell in love with Onewhisker.
He has another mate.
A mate with a child.
Whitetail knows she should be offended. She knows that she shouldn’t love Onewhisker anymore. He betrayed her. He’s using her.
And yet, she couldn’t stop her heart from longing for him. The realization shattered her, but she couldn’t pull herself away from him. She couldn’t abandon the hope that maybe, despite everything, he did care for her in some way.
She loves him. She wants him to look at her and love him too.
They moved too far to turn back.
(she was already too far into him).
When Whitetail finds out about Smoke, she feels bad.
But Onewhisker reassures him that she means the world to him, and that the only reason he hasn’t left Smoke is because he fears for her safety.
He convinces her that nobody will ever love her the way he does.
(even if you forget everything we’ve had, i will love you, always).
No matter how much suffering he put her through, she never wanted to let go of him.
Whitetail spends every moment with Onewhisker, begging for his attention, trying to be the best version of herself just for him.
She is lost in the need for his validation, unable to see how deeply entangled she had become in a relationship that could never be simple or pure.
And, despite everything, she never stops loving him.
(i was content to be alone in my love of you. i have never once asked for you to love me back. but i see now i was lying to my own heart.)
At the end of the day, he’s still her mentor, and she’s still his apprentice.
There might come a time where she may forget him. But she will always remember the way he makes her feel.
The way his softness and gentleness made her fall for someone she never would have looked twice at.
The way she sobbed in adoration for someone who was never hers.
The way she fell so deeply for a cat who was meant to be her teacher, but she fell in love with.
In ten years, I may forget you. But I’ll always remember the way you made me feel. The way your softness and gentleness made me fall for someone I would’ve never looked twice at. The way I sobbed in adoration for someone who was never mine. The way I fell so deeply for a man who was meant to be my teacher, but I fell in love with.
(I’ll keep waiting for you, though. i won’t give up. i’ll wait forever if need be.)