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“You’re just like me, Jumper.”
That wasn’t true at all. Jumper and Zam aren’t alike, right?.. They weren’t anything like each other at all..
Jumper had heard that over 10 times at this point. They weren’t alike, Zam was a maniac and absolutely crazy, and Jumper was neither of those things. Zam could tell her they were alike, but it didn’t mean anything, Zam didn’t mean anything to her really.
“We aren’t alike, Zam.” She said. It didn’t matter what she said, she always got the same response every time they talked.
“But think about it, Jumper. I’ve tried being peaceful before, I’ve been in your shoes before and I’ll tell you something, Jumper. It never works out in the end, it all ends with unsolved conflicts, betrayal, and death no matter how much you try to be good.”
Jumper knows that he’s probably right, but she doesn’t answer him, it’s pointless anyway. Zam’s been through a lot, the conflict, betrayal, and death are all he knows at this point. He can’t see past it even if he tries really hard and she knows that very well. He’s fallen so deep into the idea that Lifesteal is nothing more than war, death, betrayal, and conflict.
Sure, Jumper’s new to Lifesteal but she’s not stupid. She’s seen all the war, conflict, betrayal, and death before, but she still thinks that the end of this season can be different from the rest. She hopes that this season can be different from the rest, she knows how they all end; everyone jumping into the void and acting like nothing ever happened between them, that all of it was fake and nothing more than a lie or maybe even a dream. She doesn’t want that, she wants to be on good terms, but Zam makes it almost impossible.
“But maybe I can change that, it doesn’t have to end that way Zam. We don’t want to ban you.” She says even though she knows that it won’t do anything to help her.
“Oh, but it does, Jumper. You can’t change Lifesteal, you can’t change the players, you can’t change any of it. There will always be one bloodthirsty being in this little world we live in because that’s just Lifesteal’s nature whether you like to believe it is or not.” Zam paused for a moment, the grin that was plastered on his face only got wider as he chuckled. “There will always be one banned person in the end, whether that be me, Mapicc, Pentar, Minute, or even you. Not everyone gets what they want Jumper and especially not on this server.”
Jumper doesn’t respond, she hates to admit it, but she knows Zam is right. She can’t change Lifesteal, there will always be one bloodthirsty being no matter how hard she tries, and she hates it. She doesn’t know why everyone is so bloodthirsty and why they can’t just get along for once. She wishes they could all get along just fine but it’s just not possible and deep down she knows that.
“Are we done here, Zam? Or is there something else you need from me?” Jumper says as she crosses her arms with a sigh. This wasn’t getting anywhere it was just wasting time that she could have spent grinding.
“Sure, I guess we're done here,” Zam says as he turns around, he’s armor less and one stab in the back would kill him. She could just be over with him, but she doesn’t kill him because she can’t get herself to do it.
“Alright, see you later, Zam.” She said as she took off her chest plate and put her elytra on before flying out of spawn.
She couldn’t stop thinking about what Zam said, was she really just as bad as him? She’d betrayed them, they didn’t have morals and liked to destroy stuff a lot but that was beside the point. She missed how much they got along during the abyss arc, she missed the hour long streams where she got to bond with Zam, Mapicc, Bacon, and Pentar. She missed seeing Zam, Mapicc, and Bacon bicker back and forth with one another about stupid things. Sure, she could still bond with Pentar, but nothing would ever be the same between her, Mapicc, Bacon, and Zam and that’s what hurt the most. She watched them jump into the void together with a smile on her face because she felt like she won that day but in reality, she didn’t win a thing. They were her friends and she betrayed them for nothing but a couple more people hating her.
Maybe she was just as bad as Zam was...
Standing there, blood coating her clothes, hands, and sword. She stood there as she watched Zam’s eyes fall to nothing but darkness as he died right in front of her. She didn’t do anything to help him because he didn’t deserve that, but he also didn’t deserve to be permanently banned from the server whether he banned Planet and attempted to kill Pentar or not.
He's gone and it’s all your fault.
She knew this was bound to happen at some point anyway, he was literally begging for death a couple of days before, and he let it happen just now too. Zam ruined Minute’s life but she also ruined Zam’s life after she betrayed. At the time she believed the betrayal was for the better, but she just couldn’t help but think it might’ve been wrong of her.
You did this, you banned him, this is all your fault.
She was at a loss for words as she watched his lifeless and bloody body wither away into nothing, into the abyss that she called her home.
It wasn’t right of her to help ban him from the server, but he just wouldn’t stop destroying things. She was just protecting the things she cared about, but in return, she had to live with the guilt of banning someone.
You’re a bad person.
She didn’t know what to say or do so she muttered a simple “Gg, Zam.” And left the VC with nothing more said.
She couldn’t help, but feel bad for Zam, he’d been through a lot on this server. He’s had his best friends betray him time and time again for barely anything in return. He was just following the nature of Lifesteal and how everything on the server goes. She understands that Lifesteal runs in cycles now. After Leo, Clown, and Planet betrayed them she finally realized what people will do if you offer them something in return. They will go through the ups and downs just to get whatever benefits them, what helps them become feared or even richer than they already are.
Jumper understands how Lifesteal works now, you join a team, one of your teammates betrays you, a ton of conflict brews, a war happens, and then death or even banning happens, it’s a repeating cycle that never ends, that will never end no matter how hard you try to stop it. Everyone breaks eventually and then they dig themselves into a deep hole where no one can save them, just like Zam had down for years now.
Lifesteal is nothing more than a repeating cycle of war and conflict. A cycle that can’t be stopped no matter what you do. The cycle will always continue no matter how hard you try to stop it.
You can’t fix something that’s way too far gone. You can’t save something that’s already broken. There’s the same fate for all and there is no stopping what is to come.