Chapter Text
2004’ (present day)
Jackie Taylor doesn’t expect kindness. She heard all the remarks people whispered in the hallways of high school. Made by the same people that claimed to love her. Shauna would always be there to circumvent Jackie’s downcast manner. Though her efforts to hinder all the gossip or slut shaming fell short.
Shauna’s eyes would dip down when she didn’t believe what she was saying. Her fist would raise when it got too much and Jackie would be there cooling her down. But without Jackie’s anchor those words followed her to college, they got worse when she ended up pregnant at 23. Out of wedlock, her mom considered Jackie a shame.
She wasn’t expecting kindness when she was greeted with a pair of black tight jeans, a burgundy shirt and a black zip up hoodie.
“Shauna?” Jackie’s mouth fell open; she'd recognize those deep brown eyes anywhere. she had fallen in love with them after all, and oh how perfect things look with rose tinted glasses.
But, where her eye bags rested before from late night study sessions now were from sleepless cold nights on a stone mattress. Another blemish, A scar followed the hill of her nose down to her nostril. It was beginning to fade.
The word didn’t sound real to her. Much less the person in front of her. Shauna only existed in beige cement, metal bars and numbered uniforms. Long gone was that 19 year old girl from brown. But Jackie wanted her back; she couldn’t stand it.
“Hi, Jax,” Jackie wanted to leap up and give her a hug. She wanted to place her arms around Shauna and never leave. Maybe even kiss her at the use of the nickname, but disbelief inevitably held her down. The thought that Shauna’s voice had gotten deeper sent an embarrassing amount of butterflies to her stomach.
Jackie waited for Shauna’s abominable reaction. She’s thought about this interaction a million times over. Would Shauna yell, cry, or curse their friendship?
Whatever it was Jackie convinced herself she deserved it.
To Jackie’s surprise she felt warmth on the side of her face as Shauna gave her a kiss on the cheek. A show of tenderness that was lost in the back of her mind. Shauna’s mild mannered kindness shined whenever she was uncomfortable.
Jackie noticed Shauna’s arms fidget under her jacket. It fit tight, Jackie couldn’t remember the last time Shauna had ‘chosen’ to wear something so fitted. Only that red dress she wore on that magical night that turned sour. If only they had listened to Lottie’s odd feelings or Tai’s cautious logic than the last 7 years would’ve been perfect. Or better.
“H-how are you here Shauna?” Jackie asked like she was some sort of figment of her imagination. 7 years seemed like forever and the thought of Shauna was always a dream.
“I walked.” Shauna shrugged. Like it wasn’t 6pm in the evening. Like the jail wasn’t a cool 39 minute drive away.
“From the county jail?”
“Yeah,”
“Why didn’t you just call me?”
“You didn’t answer Jackie.”
Jackie cursed her past self. She had been too scared to pick up the phone. Too scared to hear Shauna’s voice beg for her to come back. In fear she would’ve dropped everything right then and there just to see her sad face again. Jeff had made her promise to forget Shauna and focus on them. A teenage Jackie would never even humor but maybe adult Jackie with a child would.
“Can I come in?”
Jackie stepped back to let Shauna in her too big of a house. A house made for guests, way too spacious to be homey or comfortable. The resemblance to her parents' house was sickening.
“It’s been 7 years already?” Her brain was finally catching up with the situation.
“Yeah, don’t sound too excited.”
“I’m sorry I just can’t believe it,”
“Yeah…” Shauna’s voice got lost as she looked around the room. She placed her bag aside a couch. Just one of the living spaces in the Taylor residence there was another one upstairs.
“I gave the jail this as my address, is it okay if I stay here?”
“Of course” Jackie didn’t like this unfamiliarity. The polite tone each of them have. Dancing around what each of them truly wanted to say.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Oh um some of my old clothes, doubt they fit anymore.” Shauna took off her jacket and Jackie realized why her clothes fit so snug. Shauna had gained muscle in some of her weight. While on Jeff, muscles looked characterless, expected. They did nothing for him. But in Jackie’s eyes they looked complementary, a supplement for Shauna. Jackie heard people thrive in jail, but her 2 days there only caused her depression to spike.
“Do you- do you want something to eat? Or drink?”
“Sure?”
Shauna followed Jackie to the kitchen. The emptied fridge only housed a couple of essentials. Eggs, a half a pint of milk, that Jeff no doubt drunk from, and apple juice.
“Do you want a juice box?” Jackie asked plainly, trying not to sound ashamed of her deserted refrigerator. She was about to buy dinner, she was going to but than a Shauna sized surprise stole her attention.
“Oh, yes please,” Shauna’s eyebrow raised. Her mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as she tried to look past Jackie’s shoulder.
Jackie passed over the bright green juice box. It was comedic how small it looked compared to Shauna. A laugh rested in Jackie’s chest. it disappeared at the sight of a thick scar running from the crease of Shauna’s index and middle finger all the up to the bottom of her palm.
“Ouch, how’d get that?” She pointed vaguely.
“Mm?” Shauna’s hair fell with her tilted head. “Oh, um a knife, shank thing?”
Jackie’s face showed pure shock and concern. “Shauna, what?”
She took her mouth off the straw. “It was dark I couldn’t see what she stabbed me with.” Shauna went back to sipping in a rush.
“Anymore?” Jackie’s interest sparked in the hope of a story. Maybe make up for all the years she’s missed with her.
“Yeah she also got me here,” Shauna sat down her juice box on the kitchen island and pulled the collar of her shirt. The shirt didn’t stretch well but Jackie could see the start of a sharp gash. The mark rested between her shoulder and neck.
“Jeez Shauna, I’m so sorry,” and Jackie truly meant it, but Shauna only gave her a dejected sigh in return.
“It’s…fine,” she squeezed the empty juice box in her hands, contemplating on what to say. “It-it happened years ago Jackie…”
“I know but that shouldn’t matter I should have-“ Jackie’s words stopped immediately at the loud rawr of the garage door opening.
The overbearing creaking excited panic in her heart.
“Shit,”
“What?”
“You gotta move,” Jackie took Shauna’s unoccupied wrist and lead her towards the coat closet.
“What why?”
“Jeffs home,” Jackie frantically pushed at Shauna’s new arms and shoulders. Blowing her life up was never the intention but always the consequence of what she wanted.
“Jackie he’s gonna know I’m here-“ Shauna’s voice hit a dull, know it all tone. A half patronizing one Jackie had grown to miss. The familiarly of the situation hit her like a train. She was always hiding from her parents, Jeff, even herself. Pushing a Shauna sized secret in the closet was a recurring theme. She had gotten so used to running and hiding suffocation pressed hard on her chest.
“Just, go!” Jackie’s hand grazed the bottom of Shauna’s lip. Shauna submitted into the coat closet and the sliding door shut just in time.
———-
Summer of 97’
When Jackie’s heartbeat had finally settled and the sweat on Shauna’s forehead had cooled. The blond girl tried to push herself off the floor and stand. Though her knees wobbled like deer, she still managed.
“We should probably get back,” Jackie started before she was interrupted with a kiss on her cheek. “They’ll think it’s weird we’re gone so long.” The party was close to its end as the sound of overlapping voices faded in the walls.
Shauna hummed in replay and fixed her dress down. It rode up out of place a while ago, but her brain just now caught up. “Here” she whispered as she fixed Jackie’s hair.
Jackie kissed her back as Shauna finished the low effort grooming.
The rest of her friends had successfully cleared out the house of random college kids. Lottie offered one of her Dad’s houses for a party she would definitely regret in the morning.
“Whoa, there they are,” Nat called as Jackie descended down the spiral stairs. Shauna about a foot behind her.
“Don’t worry you weren’t gone for a suspicious amount of time,” Van bending over to pick up miserliness red cups on the floor.
“And we definitely couldn’t have used Shauna’s drunken rage to force some of these dickheads out.” Tai continued the barrage of sarcasm. Lottie laughed in response.
“Shauna you ready to go?”
“Uh-huh,” Shauna gave a wobbly head nod. She seemed a little out of it, Jackie noticed sleep was hitting her too.
“You guys can stay if you want, I got this house till 12 tomorrow,” Lottie offered like she knew something was wrong. Her voice shook a little in her haste, or from amounts of weed.
“No we’re good,” Jackie grinned politely. Wanting Shauna all to herself was a common practice and their friends understood that.
“You probably should stay Jackie, it might not be safe.” Tai slouched on the couch.
“Tai let the lovebirds go,” Van lit their third blunt of the night, as they retired their cleaning and relaxed on Tai’s shoulder.
“Fine but don’t call me if you get in some shit.”
“Bye everyone,” and Jackie took the keys from Shauna’s hand. “I’ll drive this time,” Shauna gave her a silent thank you.
It was all a blur by the end. They were both drunk. Jackie couldn’t remember who had actually hit Randy, just that they did, and now he’s dead. They had been driving Shauna’s car. The court charged Shauna with the murder. An eyewitness said the person behind the wheel had dark hair. Someone in court even went as far to say Shauna didn’t like Randy, he was annoying. It was true but the bastard didn’t deserve death.
Everyone was telling Jackie it was Shauna and she wanted to believe them, but there was a guilty suspicion in her heart. The back of her mind entertaining the thought that she had hit Randy. She panicked and woke Shauna up. Tears streaming out her eyes like a river. She puked at the sight of Randy's limp body in front of the car. Shauna, still drunk off her ass, offered to drive the rest of the way home. They fell asleep on Deborah Shipman’s living room floor. And in the early morning they were greeted by two police officers.
——-
“Honey, I’m home,” Jeff put on a faux voice of a hero. He had shopping bags hanging from his wrists. His daughter sprang out in front of him. Shrieking happily while calling for her mom.
“Mommy Mommy! Look what i made,” Jackie bent down to greet her daughter. “Oooh what is it?”
Her daughter shoved a well folded piece of paper up to Jackie’s flushed face.
“It’s a plane, the man helped make it.”
“What man?”
“The man at the store?”
Jackie looked up at her husband in disappointment. One time Jeff wasn’t paying attention and their daughter had run off to play with some ducks. So in Jackie’s mind what would stop her from talking to some strange old man?
“Jeff-“
“I got you something,” he interrupted, and she heard a muffled noise in the closet. “actually multiple somethings,” he leaned out his arm as an offering of forgiveness.
She mouthed a ‘thanks’ and started to lead her daughter up the stairs.
“Hey, I’m sorry about last night, and this morning…” he sounded lost.
“Don’t do anything, I wanna tell you something,” she left him smiling. Jackie used to convince herself that that smile of his was charming.
She heard Jeff moving, probably placing down his siege of bags on the floor.
The house filled with a yelp, a loud scream that definitely wasn’t from Shauna.
“AHHHH, FUCK!”
Jackie left her daughter in her room and ran down stairs. She found Jeff stretching his phone out of reach of the former prisoner.
“JACKIE what the fuck is she doing in my house, what the fuck are you doing in my house!” Jeff’s movements were spacious and threatening.
“Jeff listen-“ Shauna had her hands up in surrender.
“No you step back.” Jeff held a firm hand up, readying it to push Shauna back and refrain her movements.
“Jeff what do you think you’re doing?”
“Calling the police!”
“NO, don’t,” Jumping like a rabbit, she smacked the phone out of her husband's sweaty hand. the device went flying and tumbled on the carpet. “Jackie what the fu-“
“911 what’s your emergency,”
She threw herself towards the phone. Its small light screen lit up as the call ran through.
“Hi sorry,” she tried not to huff in the speaker. “My daughter accidentally called you…” in any other situation Jackie would hope the operator saw through that bullshit, but luckily they didn’t.
“Oh, have a nice day ma’am,”
Jackie relaxed with a full shoulder sigh at the end call beep.
“What the hell Jackie- how the hell did you get out, did you break out?
“I served my time,”
“Bullshit they didn’t give you enough,” and Jackie stiffed like the insensitive comment was towards her.
“Jeff can you shut up for a second,” Jackie swore she saw Shauna almost smile at her retort.
“The hell she killed my best friend-“
And Jackie baffled, couldn’t he see this was important to her. Shauna has always existed with Jackie even when they were miles away. He’s had Jackie for almost 7 years can’t he be grateful.
“Well she’s my best friend, and she’s staying.”
Jeff left with shock and disappointment. Stomping up the stairs Jackie flinched at a loud slame of the bedroom door.