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It’s not often his dreams are soft and pretty nowadays. Not after the feeling of Kylo Ren’s gloves at his temples, not after staring into that mask for so long. More often than not, he dreams of black and red and anguish. It’s not exactly fun, and he wakes up more often than not in a cold sweat with the sheets tangling around his limbs, but it’s tolerable.
This is the first genuinely nice dream he’s had in ages.
He’s not entirely sure if he prefers the Kylo Ren ones.
At least those were straightforward, and didn't have him thinking and questioning too much.
He feels like he’s known her his entire life. They’re practically attached at the hip - he’s sure they would be if BB-8 weren’t so fond of rolling between them. She spends hours with him in his fighter, handing him parts and tools and sometimes even climbing in to help fix it herself. They talk about capaciters and hyperspace and he watches as her eyes - no, her entire face - lights up like the brightest sun he’s ever seen.
He watches her train with Skywalker, even watches her meditate. For someone who doesn’t know her, it’s probably incredibly boring to gaze at someone as they sit in solitude and breathe deeply. But he wonders at her power, at her control and her beauty as she simply sits there literally doing nothing.
A week into meeting her, she confesses that she was lonely. That she liked having someone to talk to about ships and their insides. And that she’s glad it’s him.
A month after she returns from wherever Luke was, she tells him she loves him. It’s stuttered and not quite clear at first, and she has to repeat it because he’s wearing his helmet after a brush with the First Order and he’s not sure he heard her correctly. She repeats it and he hears it, but the debrief pulls him away before he can respond in kind.
He tells her he loves her too in the darkness of his room, hours after the debrief is over, and she grins and presses her face to his bare chest in an attempt to hide the way her nose scrunches when she smiles.
He finds out that, when she blushes, the smattering of freckles across her nose seem more prominent. He resolves to make her blush more often so he can count them all.
-
Apparently his subconscious thinks that their relationship is significantly more than it actually is, and he finds himself dreaming of her.
And not just her, no. Her in an ivory gown that leaves her shoulders bare and pools around her legs like the water she finds so beautiful. He can see the slight scrunch of her nose as she grins at him, the shrug of her shoulders as she looks at him like ‘are we really doing this?’. He can feel the weight of his pilot suit, orange and dirty and stark against her pale ivory.
He finds himself grinning back.
He doesn’t hear the words of the man next to them. He just feels the urge to take her hand when the time is right, and then they’re kissing like they do when she’s finished with training and he’s finished with practices. It’s soft and sweet and warm and he’s pretty sure he can feel the silk of her dress under his fingertips, rough and calloused as they are. He can feel her hands on his shoulders, sliding up into his dark curls and pulling him closer.
This time, he wakes up on his own. He doesn’t wake up to phantom pain, for once. Instead he wakes with a soft gasp and a longing for something he’s fairly sure he can’t have.
“Are you all right?”
She looks up from her position next to him. He turns his head to see her sprawled out on her stomach beside him, brown-green eyes looking at him curiously. The sheet’s slipped down, and he can see the expanse of her bare back. She has freckles there, too, and they’re easier to count than the ones on her nose. He’s tried to count the ones on her face but that just results in grinning and giggles and “Stop that, now I can’t see them!”s. His hand finds the small of her back, stroking the smooth skin there, and his lips find her bare shoulder. She hums in contentment, curling into him. He pulls her against him, pressing a kiss to her forehead and smiling as her bare skin slides against his.
“… has Skywalker told you if those Jedi rules still apply to you?”
-
It takes two more years for it to happen in reality.
He’s not wearing his pilot’s suit, not this time. It’s cumbersome and not exactly elegant, but part of him wishes he had. The shock of orange would be quite a dramatic effect, but BB-8’s orange helps sate him just a bit. Instead he wears his jacket - and of course he had to steal it from her drawers in order to wear it.
She wears a dress. Unlike in his dream, it feels a bit weird to see her in it. A bit weird, yes, but it also makes something in his stomach flutter and clench all at the same time. He casts a glance towards Finn who’s rocking on his heels, hands clasped in front of him. The man looks like he’s the one getting married instead of Poe.
Luke stands beside them, overseeing the small ceremony. It’s blissfully brief and involves a lot of handholding and whispered promises. He promises to take care of her for the rest of his days, and she promises the same. He promises to keep her, and she responds in kind. There's a new vow, that she won't neglect her Jedi duties in order to be with him, and he already knows that she'll break it at some point or another since she does it pretty much all the time (she finds kissing him much more fun than meditating), but Luke's smiling softly and that's all that really matters.
Finn taps him on the shoulder towards the end and passes him a brand new pilot’s helmet with his name and numbers on it. He places it on her head like it’s a crown and the people gathered love it, laughing when it tips down to cover her eyes slightly. She loves it too, if the way she practically tackles him and mauls his mouth is any indication. Sure, it’ll mess up the intricate updo she has in her hair, and it’s too big for her head and tips a little bit since it’s an exact copy of his, but she still looks stunning in his eyes.
He grins, his nose bumping agains the visor as he kisses her back as best as he can (even his best is a bit complicated). BB-8 helpfully rolls beside him and he puts the helmet on the droid's head to kiss her deep and properly.