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Furina wasn't beyond begging, apparently. She never thought she would give in and end up doing something so out of character like whining in desperation to Neuvillette, hoping to get what she wantedーwhat she felt she needed at that point. Yet, she found herself pacing behind him as he sat, ever indifferent and looking like the words barely even reached him.
Furina knew that this was typical behavior coming from the other. It was what made him such a good judge. He didn't let his emotions rule him, allowing for a logical solution rather than one born of sympathy or any other thing the man was capable of experiencing (which wouldn't be a lot, if anything). Still, it was worth a shot, wasn't it?
So she lets herself stoop down to the level of pleading for Neuvillette to accompany her to meet Arlecchino. She makes a fool of herself in front of him, but can't bother to care as she tries to convince him to join her to have a talk with the Harbinger. She'd worry about the consequences of breaking character later. For now, what she needed was his presence.
She would feel safe as long as Neuvillette was with herーnot because of the immense strength he carried, though that too was reassuring. Just his attendance was enough to assure her that it would be okay. If he was there, how could anything go wrong?
She could try to deny it and think up reasons why she immediately felt more secure with him by her side, but she knew deep down that there was one clear truth that she would never admit. She would push it down and hide it with the other secrets she'd been keeping for hundreds of years, and would still for as long as she had.
Though, with the way she acted in private with him versus in front of anyone else, was it even possible that he didn't realize? Sure, he didn't seem to understand or care for things like this very much, but who couldn't tell the difference in behavior and not understand that it meant something? Begrudgingly, she thinks, if there was such a being in the world, it would be Neuvillette.
The Palais Mermonia was a place that they shared for a long, long time now. It was Furina's home, but for Neuvillette, it was simply his workplace. Furina did not know if Neuvillette had a place he considered a home at all, and she was certain that if he had the choice, he would not count his office as one.
Although Neuvillette took his job seriously and probably considered it his top priority, his office was not exactly homely. He had some nice furniture here and there, but his desk was what stood out most in the room, where he would sit and sort out problems. Maybe even the tall bookshelves were more eye-catching than the couple of couches in the center.
Furina's mismatched eyes were always drawn to the man occupying it instead. He somehow always looked his best, never disheveled in the least and never seeming bothered even under his workload. Maybe Furina noticed far too many of these details about him, stared too much when she shouldn't. It wasn't doing any harm to him, so it was okay, she supposed.
He looked like he belonged in the Palais Mermonia, she couldn't help but think. It was a selfish thought. One that she would only let herself have as she laid in her bed at night, everything dark and even more lonely. She might even go further, thinking about if the other was in the bed, too. It wouldn't be so lonely if his weight was pressing into the bed next to her.
She wished Neuvillette would share her home with her, not an office. She knew it could never happenーit was too risky for Fontaine's fate, not to mention that she was sure Neuvillette wouldn't care to take such an offer if it was given. Honestly, Furina didn't even know if the man needed sleep, much less next to her in a little bed as she tossed and turned all night.
That didn't stop her from wanting it so badly that it ached in her chest with the weight of everything else she had to keep inside. It sounded too heavy to say that she wished that the Palais was their home alone and they shared every part of it and each other, but a girl who was cursed for centuries could dream, couldn't she?
Despite the two of them somewhat sharing the ruling of Fontaine, their lives were just too different. Neuvillette appeared in the opera house often to host trials, as the power who stood for justice in all of Fontaine. Furina would grace it with her presence as well, whether it be for trial or for a performance to receive the affection of her citizens.
Both of them were respected and well-loved now in Fontaine, for the most part, at least. Furina had the misfortune of knowing that the ‘Furina’ the people loved was a fake version of her that was created just for them to trust and worship so there would be no question of her authority. Neuvillette on the other hand, was just himself and the people admired him for that, because he was brilliant just the way he was.
Furina also had the misfortune, though, of knowing how worried Neuvillette became about the things he needed to take care of. She had seen him stress out when the big trial kept going on after Lyney and Lynette's big show. She'd seen how even with a small change of expression that no one else would catch, that he'd truly been stressed about everything that was coming with it.
When he'd had to take down the eleventh Harbinger in a flash as an eyebrow raised on his face and made sure it was quick enough that no one saw, Furina knew it was getting serious. She herself started to worry so much after that, that she lost control and started showing her true emotions by mistake too many times, too easily.
Fontaine's future was in danger, every citizen's. Her future. Neuvillette’s future. Furina knew the water of the Primordial Sea would take her just like all of the other people it had already made disappear, despite the prophecy saying only she would be left. Or at least everyone else thought she would, but she knew the reality of the situation. What she didn't know was if it would do anything to Neuvillette, and that somehow bothered her even more than her own fate.
If she was meant to be the only one left after it all, did that mean Neuvillette was going to fade away too? She wouldn't be able to miss him, given that she too would be gone, yet the implication of anything happening to him, even if she couldn't see it, cut her deep. She'd spent hundreds of years looking into ways to stop the prophecy and sending others to do the same, yet always ended up with nothing to show for it.
Neuvillette motivated her to try harder. Even knowing that she'd never been able to do anything before, and up to now still hadn't. She still had to try, up until her last moment. If she could save Neuvillette, she'd consider her purpose fulfilled, despite her purpose being something completely different when it was assigned to her by Focalors.
She was sure everyone treasured Neuvillette in Fontaine just as much as she did and would do the same. After all, where would Fontaine be without him? What would Fontaine be without him? If there was anyone as praised as Furina herself to the nation, it was Neuvillette. He didn't seem to realize that, unless he was in denial of it, which also sounded like something he'd do.
Even if he couldn't see it, Furina could. There had been times in the past when people didn't trust his judgment, and even now some few people may hold a grudge over the results of a trial, despite the Oratrice Mechanique d’Analyse Cardinale making the final decisions each time, whether Neuvillette truly agreed with its choice or not.
Neuvillette seemed to not know this either, but Furina could tell that he cared about his reputation at least a little bit underneath everything. He simply put his responsibilities about justice first, thus always gave into the judgment of the device no matter what thoughts he had on the cases. He wanted to speak up, though, she knew. The crowd would look at him in disbelief when he agreed, and it stung him deep down.
Whether it was about the way others saw him or his own moral compass, Furina wanted to make sure he never had to see another displeased look from anyone because of his decisions. She wanted to make sure he never felt the pressure of becoming what other people wanted him to be, like she had to for centuries now. Neuvillette could be loved and be himself all at once, and she needed it to stay that way. He didn't deserve that suffering, that was all she knew.
Even if every other face frowned at him, even if every voice yelled in dissatisfaction, she would never seize to believe so. It could never be everyone in Fontaine against him, because she was one of them, and she never would be. Perhaps it was selfishーafter all, she was supposed to take care of the citizens as their archon, but she couldn't seem to care about that if Neuvillette was involved.
Just as Fontaine adored her, naming awards after her and singing all kinds of positive words about her through the city, she adored Neuvillette. She knew it was wrong to feel this way with the situation they were all in, but how could she help it? If she liked to keep a picture of the two of them in a drawer near her bed, was it so bad? If she craved to be in his presence for the rest of time, could anyone blame her?