Work Text:
Athena sat there in the dark, the blue light coming from her phone illuminating only a small portion of her face. She glanced at Peach, laying beside her, peaceful as ever. A strand of hair disturbing her perfectly still face. The greek could hear her breathing, the slight shuffles of sheets whenever she moved, and yet, it felt like she wasn’t completely present. Her eyes darted between the words on the screen as she scooted further from her girlfriend.
‘hi, ik this is a bit out of nowhere, but can we talk?’
She thought for a second: she could put her phone down and cuddle up to Peach, or she could throw herself into a well of nostalgia and pain again…
‘sure whats up’
As Athena waited for a response, it suddenly felt like the room got impossibly cold, despite it being mid-july. It had been over 2 years since she and Couenne began drifting apart. So many unanswered questions and so, so many unsaid words were flooding her mind and she just didn’t know what to do with them. She felt her stomach turn and twist as she saw the bubble with three dots next to the other’s profile picture.
‘what happened to us?’
Silence. Athena had no idea how to answer, she knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but the uncertainty of “what if” made her think, even if only for a second, had she said something to Couenne about what she felt, would things have been different?
‘well, what happened? how would i know’
An audible gulp left her throat upon immediately regretting whatever she had said.
‘i mean obviously im sorry for whatever happened i didnt mean to blame u im just really confused, why did u text me only now’
‘i was having a hard time. hard time figuring out my sexuality, with school, with everyone in general.’
“What are you doing?” Fuck . Athena jerked her head towards Peach and turned off her screen, engulfing the two in total darkness.
“Nothing.” She said, panic audible in her voice. “Just… An old friend texted me.” Athena had always hated lying, especially to people she held dear to her heart, so it came as no surprise that even in such situations she tried to include as much of reality as she could.
Peach shrugged and turned her back towards her girlfriend, pulling the covers just a bit higher. “Turn your brightness down.”
It took Athena a few seconds to recover from the few seconds of panic, but once her breathing was regulated again, she picked up her phone… To two new messages.
‘anyway, i have myself more or less figured out and i missed you’
‘didnt mean to scare you away sorry’
Athena shook her head.
‘u didnt scare me away sorry my girlfriend just woke up. i have something to tell u, btw.’
‘what is it’
‘this might sound weird but i had a huge crush on u since we first met in first grade lol and 13 years hasnt changed a thing’
‘oh, well is this the wrong time to say same?’
Her eyes widened, she completely froze for a second. “Well…”
‘remember we used to say we were best friends but ever since we stopped talking ive had a “best” friend and it didnt feel like what we had’
‘why didnt you text me back earlier? i sent messages everyday last year and you didnt even open them’
‘i didnt speak to anyone up until a bit ago since u. all the stress of having any idea of how i really felt about u and then u suddenly not caring about me anymore really caught up to me’
‘im sorry, i know i was horrible and i shouldve tried even harder to be ur friend when u started to close off than i did before’
‘its ok. im fine now. u said u have a girlfriend?’
‘well yeah, i guess. even then i dont love her like i loved you’
‘wdym’
‘how will i be so in love with someone, but when they ask if i love anyone more than them i will still want to say your name?’
Athena’s hands were shaking so much, she could barely hold her phone properly. She had never thought that her thoughts and feelings would ever go through to anyone, let alone Couenne. As she stared at the typing her mind darted back and forth between moments the two of them had shared.
‘thats deep lol i do feel the same, tho. i think its crazy that we went through so much but i still wanna make new memories with u, are u free tomorrow?’
‘uh sure what do u have in mind’
‘the park we used to go to that i heard u still visit’
‘youre insane how do you know about that’
‘lol boop told me u called her crying months ago and asked her to pick u up from there. assumed u went there because of me’
‘yeah i did. yk, i was really scared ud kill urself, especially after i talked with the store owner a bit before i started texting u daily last year. everyday i woke up dreading a call from my mom saying u had stepped in front of a train or smth.’
‘i thought about it for a while, but then i thought about what itd do to u.’
‘what about your family??’
‘u always knew that, if it came down to pick between u or them, id always pick you. the only thing i loved more than u was my selfhatred.’
‘woah’
‘sorry too much mb’
‘no me too. i thought about having this conversation with u a lot, what id say, only difference was i thought itd happen by your grave.’
…
‘im slightly losing it soz’
‘no, i get it. uve never been a positive person ever athena.’
‘couenne’
‘?’
‘u do know im in love with u right. like. more than anyone else could ever be. i want u more than ive ever wanted anyone else. no wait not want, need. i need to be around u again, to hug u again, to make new memories, to have new stories to tell. u were the first person to make me feel wanted, not just romantically and not sexually, just wanted as a person. i felt like u wanted me around and ive never felt like that since u.’
‘do u not worry abt ur girlfriend seeing this’
‘i do actually but if at the same time what if this is the last chance i get to reconnect with u? also its peach im sure she wouldnt mind u being around.’
‘oh i love peach, tell her i say hi… so do u wanna hang out tomorrow orrrrrrr’
‘yeah, give time and place ill be there x’