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Zetta doesn't remember his birthday. He vaguely remembers details of the day he was captured by Team Xen to be experimented on, but he doesn't recall what day that was, either. He doesn't even know what day he had Melia's DNA injected into him, nor what day he became a fully formed human. It wasn't until well after all those benchmarks of his life had occurred that he got into the very human habit of knowing the calendar.
Whenever Geara's birthday comes around, he acts more full of himself than usual and perhaps gets a little less annoyed than one would expect when Madelis blows a party horn in his face. When Nastasia's birthday comes, endless Xen grunts hoping to make her crack a smile for once meekly knock on the lounge doors to deliver little gifts to her; she enthusiastically devours any chocolate she receives but otherwise shows no emotion.
For Madelis, she... well, this past year, she commissioned a very delicately detailed cake in the likeness of her own face, which Geara stole the first slice of when she wasn't looking just to piss her off. Cassandra's birthday isn't something Zetta would know much about-- she rarely ever shows up, and even when she does, she tends to spend all her time hassling Madelis in a manner much too personal and cutting to be considered friendly or reasonable. Zetta does not like her very much.
Neved goes missing on his birthday every year, without exception. When Zetta asked Nastasia once, she assumed he was spending it with his daughter, but Neved always comes back much too somber for that, he thinks. Zetta tries to be friendly with him when he does stalk back in the late evening, but he's never in the mood to chat until the next day.
All throughout the Xen HQ, the grunts have their little birthday parties as they come as well. Sometimes a few of them get together with a cake for one of them, or the person in question will simply request a day off. Sometimes they'll still work but will go around telling everyone it's their birthday, or sometimes they'll act like nothing is different only for someone else to spontaneously remember it was that person's birthday a few days prior. It varies from person to person how important they think the day is, how they act, what they expect from others.
Zetta doesn't know what he would do if he had one. His birth isn't one that's ever been celebrated. Neither was his capture, nor the failed cloning process, nor even the person he turned out to be. Nastasia went through the trouble of saving his life, and she's somebody Zetta trusts and rather likes, but even she probably doesn't consider him much of anything worth celebrating. There'd be no point in picking a day.
And now, as a Solosis once more, why should he bother? His whole life, he's been tugged around by currents: as far as he can recall, he passively wandered through the world by himself, was captured like it was nothing, like he was nothing, was turned into something else, someone else, lived under the constant threat of extermination, and then it happened all over again when Crescent decided she'd had enough of him. He's sure he probably didn't welcome the changes when he was turned into a human, he doesn't quite remember, but he definitely remembers breaking down in tears and begging Crescent not to change him back. Nothing he says has ever mattered, anyway.
It might be convenient to help keep track of how old he is, but what would be the point? He could be discarded at any moment, by anyone. He's never had any autonomy, and he never will. Birthdays are things only humans have, else he would have known about them when he was just a Solosis. Unfortunately, all he has left to do now is think. He thinks, small and alone in the dark, awaiting the day Crescent decides to make good on her implicit threat to use him as a weapon. In a sense, not much has changed for him. At least if he were still with Team Xen, he could ask Neved to mix him a drink when he starts feeling this hopeless.
When his little prison is opened for the first time, he expects to be faced with danger. He's been released into a silent room, filled with beds but not much else. He expects to see Crescent when he turns around. He does not.
"Umm... I'm really sorry, I... have no idea what to say," is how Melia greets him, awkwardly and with a nervous smile.
He understands her, but he can't talk back. He doesn't have the power for telepathy. He barely has the power to stay levitating in the air right now. He slowly floats down to the bed she stands in front of and sits there. She sits beside him.
"Kind of an unconventional family reunion. I guess I've been having a lot of those, lately. Did, um... did you know I have siblings? Erin, Alice, and Allen. I feel like, if Team Xen knew about them all along, they probably would have been targets like me, so probably not, huh?"
Someone may have known. Not Zetta. He doesn't particularly care, nor does he know why Melia is bothering to tell him. He isn't looking up at her, just... staring into the blanket he lies on top of.
"Maybe it's because of how long it's been for me since Goldenwood, or... maybe it's because you're way too small to hurt me now, but I'm not afraid of you at all," she says. Zetta registers it as a threat, but he doesn't move. What would be the point?
"I noticed, you know. At Valor Mountain. I noticed the look in your eyes, and how even while you were forcing me to the teleporter, you tried to be gentle. You had a handler at every turn, and they wouldn't even let you speak freely. I wish you could speak freely now. I want to know if that hesitance was... well, if it meant anything."
It didn't mean anything, because his personal thoughts and intentions don't mean anything. She put it quite aptly-- he was surrounded by handlers. But even back when he tried to deal with her alone, it's not like he was ever kind to her. It was only when he thought she died, when that supposed reality sank in his stomach and made him feel horribly ill, that he even considered that he truly didn't want to follow his orders. He had plenty of time to meditate on that while Crescent had him trapped in that pocket dimension.
He didn't reach any particular conclusion, other than that he was unhappy.
"I, um... I know communication is tough right now, but... Oh, wait! Maybe there is a solution..." she muses, getting up from the bed. Zetta is just curious enough to turn and watch her.
She comes back to the bed with a small laptop and turns it on, setting it on the blanket.
"I'm not sure how precise your psychic abilities are, or... uh, I guess, if you can even understand me as you are now... but could you do me a favor and try typing?"
Once the laptop has started up, she opens up a word document. Zetta stares up at the glowing screen, at the blank white canvas. He focuses on the keyboard for a moment, the keys depressing with a little concentrated will.
i guess
"Okay, so you can still communicate after all! So, you've been understanding me this whole time?"
He only types the letter Y for yes, hardly motivated to bother speaking with her.
"You seem like you don't have a lot of energy... I'll try to keep it to yes or no answers, then. You can just type Y or N, like you already did, or you can give me a full answer whenever you feel up to it."
She presses enter to start a new line.
"I feel like this is a question I should probably spend some time building up to, but... do you actually want to work for Team Xen?" she asks outright.
Does he? Did he ever? He feels some amount of fondness for his coworkers, even if it was hardly ever returned. He feels indebted to Nastasia, in particular. But does he want to be there?
n
"Ah... somehow, I thought I'd have to drag that answer out of you. I had a whole line of questioning ready and everything, but I guess you've had plenty of time to think already."
That's all he's been able to do, as of late.
zepto, he types, remembering one of the concerns he's pondered.
"Oh, your Silvally. Don't worry, it's doing just fine. Ren has been taking very good care of it. I assume either he has the rest of your Pokemon as well, or maybe they're being kept somewhere by Nastasia. She, um... despite everything, she seems like somebody who... cares a lot. So I wouldn't worry."
He's relieved to hear that. The thought of someone else just taking Zepto is more bitter than sweet, but at least he's doing alright. Ren seems like a decent enough kid, from what Zetta could tell during his brief interactions with him.
"Actually, if you want, we could exchange questions. I ask you one, you ask me one. If you have the energy for it, I mean. Plus, we could always pick this up again later."
why bother you should hate me
He's annoyed when he types it, but he realizes afterwards that it just sounds hopeless. Well, that's accurate, too.
"I guess I probably should, shouldn't I? But then, why does it have to be you? If it wasn't you, like if you... I don't know, refused your mission or someone else happened to be picked for it, then I should just hate whoever took your place? This is more of a top-down issue, and in any case... I don't know how much "hating" someone is really going to help."
top down?
Melia sighs.
"Well, you know the phrase "don't shoot the messenger". The Interceptor told me what they learned about you, about... you being an experiment and everything. It's not like you up and decided to join Team Xen one day. It's really not your fault."
Is she stupid? He doesn't even bother responding to that. Though, he is tempted to ask where exactly the Interceptor managed to get that information. Surely not from Nastasia?
"Um... Zetta, do you hate me?" she asks.
Does he? Could he, truly? Should he? It's a top-down issue, she says. Don't shoot the messenger, she says.
He doesn't know how to answer, so he deflects.
you cant even be bothered to hate me
Melia thinks on that with a slight sigh.
"It's not that I can't be bothered. I guess I just... don't want to hate you. When I saw you at Axis High when the world was falling apart, I was surprised at how I felt. It was... I'm not even sure how to describe it. You seemed like you wanted to talk to me back then, about something important, but there was too much going on at the time and you had to set it aside. I guess I... I was kind of ready to tell you that you didn't need to apologize. Is that weird?"
Zetta is completely lost. Is she making things up now? He's been stuck in a ball for the past... who knows how long now.
what, he simply types.
"Um... what to what, exactly?"
all of that
"Uh..."
we havent met since valor
"Oh. Do you... not remember?"
?????
"Well, nevermind, I guess. How about we change the subject? Or, actually, you can ask me a question, if you want," she offers.
you should kill me
Melia stares at the text with a surprisingly concerned look on her face. Did he not just state the obvious? He's not even begging to be put out of his misery-- pathetic as it is, he still wants to live. He's always wanted to live. But why should she want that for him?
"Zetta, I don't think I would want to do that even if I did hate you," she says firmly.
youre an idiot
"You can call me whatever you want. I'm not doing it."
Ah. What a phrase. "I'm not doing it." It's one Zetta has tried to use in the past, but it never held any power when he wielded it. A weapon is fired whether it consents or not. At some point, his fear had overriden his desire for autonomy and he stopped speaking his mind.
i would swap places with you if i could, he admits.
"You mean, despite being hunted and nearly killed and--"
youre not fucking special
Finally, something she gets angry at. Not really as angry as anyone Zetta has ever known, but angry for her, for everyone's perfect little angel. Her brow is furrowed and her frown only looks a little more aggravated than it does sad.
"I'm not interested in comparing who has it worse, Zetta. There are things you definitely would not desire about me that I'm not willing to divulge, anyway."
Like what? Friends who care about her? A whole Interceptor of fate on her side? A sweet smile that everyone loves and wants to protect, else Team Xen would have had their way already? He's frustrated, but he doesn't waste energy arguing with her. It'd only expose just how much he envies her.
"... Are you hungry?" she asks him, her expression soft again, like her voice.
Despite everything, he tears up a little.
"You don't have to answer," she says, noticing. "I'll be right back."
why? he types, but she doesn't see it as she leaves. Infuriated, Zetta continues typing while she's gone.
of course i fucking hate you youre everything i was supposed to be everything i was punished for not being and even if i were you id still be miserable because all i want is to be allowed to be me but thats what i hate the m
Misery and humiliation compel him to delete everything he typed before he can finish, holding down the backspace key until the word document is completely blank again. He sits in silence, illuminated by the screen, until Melia returns.
"I realized I don't actually know what food you like, so... I just made a sandwich and brought some candies I found. If you don't like any of it, I can get you something else."
Why? What's her excuse for bringing him candy, of all things? What's the point? But he hasn't eaten since Valor Mountain, subsisting only on the energy supplied by the ball Crescent kept him in, so he can't bring himself to interrogate her.
He shouldn't be picky, but he takes the lettuce off the sandwich she offers him. He ignores the way she giggles at that.
The candies, he's never had before. They're these fruity gummies he can't get enough of. He even finds it in himself to start levitating again just to be closer to the bag. Melia smiles at him, that sweet smile everyone risks their lives to protect.
im sorry
It takes a while longer of feeding him gummies before Melia notices what he typed. She sets the bag down and, with a little bit of hesitation, reaches for him. She hugs his little body close to hers, and Zetta doesn't know how to react. He's never felt anything like it.
So he flings a gummy at her to get her to stop, and she laughs. He slips away when her arms loosen, and, somehow, he regrets it.
"I know it's a long shot, but... do you think we could maybe try to be a family?" she asks him. Something else he's never had before.
What is the point of being a family? What difference would having a family make? What would that even mean for him? He types a different question without really thinking about it.
do you have a birthday?
"Huh? Yeah, it's November 1st. Everyone has one. Do you not know when yours is?"
Yeah, every human has one. Are Melia's eyes failing her? How could she see him as one even when he's like this? How could she want to add him to her family?
Weakly, he just types the letter N.
"Well... Do you want mine? We could share. Like twins."
would it be worth celebrating?
Melia thinks carefully about her answer.
"For three years, I wondered if mine was worth celebrating. I didn't die physically, but with how depressed I was, I kind of felt like I died mentally. So... I know what it feels like, to ask that question and mean it. And I want you to know that I think it'd be worth it, at least."
He looks down, unable to answer, and she hugs him again. He doesn't throw anything at her this time.
"Besides, if you share a birthday with me, then you have at least one person who won't forget it! I'm not really so bad, am I?"
i dont hate you, Zetta types. Melia smiles.
"I don't hate you either, Zetta."