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Mikey could never have anticipated that their final moments would happen so soon. He didn’t think that the imminent painful death would be that easy to accept. He didn’t accept it. His last moments spent underground, surrounded by robots chomping sharp, metal teeth, ready to tear them to shreds.
Back to back with his brothers is the only way he wants to go out. Even if it’s so soon, even if it’s painful, or scary. As much as he didn’t accept it, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
Raph’s voice sounded from behind him, prompting their final words, easily accepting that it was the end of the road, even though their road was only just beginning. Even so, Mikey wanted to make a quip at him. Wanted some form of weird, brotherly normalcy before their inevitable doom.
“Even me Raph?”
He couldn’t help but ask, knowing all the time he spent annoying his big brother. All the time he spent fanning the flames of his temper, annoying him for the sake of annoying him. He can’t help it, he’s just so funny when he gets riled up.
The urge to be annoying hit hard when it was the last time he could possibly do so.
He had expected his brother to snap at him, sigh, roll his eyes, ask him why, why now of all times do you wanna piss me off? He’d expected a lack of response even. Never would he have guessed for him to say those words.
“Even you, Mikey. Especially you.”
He braced for the mousers to attack, barely processing his words, the gentleness of his tone. No anger, irritation, or remorse. He’d never heard his brother’s voice filled with so much.. love.
It had all happened so quickly. Next thing he knew, they weren’t being mauled to death by hungry death robots. Donnie and April had managed to stop them. Momentarily, that is. Until they had to haul ass out of the laboratory because they were set to self destruct.
It was like a dream. Like the journey back to the lair was a jump cut in time. Before he knew it they were back home, celebrating their victory against Baxter Stockman and his legion of killer robots.
His brain took quite a while to catch up to the situation. To catch up to the emotion welling in his chest. Suddenly, looking at his brother was as difficult as pushing a boulder up a hill. No, looking was easy. Looking was.. exhilarating.
It was as if his brother was a foreign creature with the way his eyes couldn’t tear away. Like he was some fantastic new discovery. Like he’d never seen him before. But making eye contact was what he was deathly avoiding.
Staring at him radiates a heat he’s never felt inside of himself. Like a burning nebula slowly forming into a beautiful star. He was the cosmos, ever evolving and expanding, and Mikey was the observer.
His laugh is louder, his smile brighter, his presence greater. Suddenly his brother shone like the sun on a cloudless day. And Mikey realized this while staring at his wall, littered with monster movie and Justice force posters.
“Even you, Mikey. Especially you.”
His stomach did something weird. It flipped, but not like when he’s gonna hurl from being thrown in a circle too much. He’s not moving. Yet he feels like he’s falling from a very high place. His body tingles, and his face heats.
Years and years of simple interactions suddenly held a greater meaning. Like that one time when they were little, and Raph was the first to help Mikey and give him a bandaid after he fell and scraped his knee.
Or that other time when they were tweens, and Mikey had scared himself shitless by binging Nightmare on Elms street, Jeepers Creepers, and the Halloween movies all during the same weekend. He’d asked Raph to sleep with him and he did. He wrapped his arms around him, muttering about how dumb he was for being scared, but he stayed until Mikey fell asleep.
It all hits him at once. All those shocking moments where Raph was tender for once. And it made him realize.. maybe that’s what he’s looking for. Through all the teasing and rough housing, that’s what he wants most from his older brother. His tenderness. His love.
And he realized he had truly fallen in love with Raphael.