Chapter Text
Mitsuba had always known he was different from the people around him. He did not understand how his classmates could talk to each other freely during lunch. He dreaded lunch. It was a time when he ate alone in a corner or had to endure the pain of the sounds. Oh the sounds, the never-ending sounds. They assaulted his ears. Sometimes when he would get home, he would cry for hours from the pain. None of his classmates seemed to understand, however. They would pay no mind to his pleas for them to stop the noise, even if only for a minute. They made fun of him for eating alone, and he could hear them whisper things about him. “He’s so sensitive,” “Why does he care so much,” “He’s annoying, why is he asking us these things,” “God I see why he has no friends, no one would be able to deal with his persistent nagging over insignificant things.” They would never understand the pain he had to endure daily. They would never feel out of place because they could not stand noises everyone else did not seem to mind. Why did they not mind? Was he just cursed? Cursed never to be able to have a normal life, to be able to eat with others, to have the urge to tear out his hair during flu season.
During his elementary years, he never had friends. He was bullied for his femininity, his personality, and his problems with sounds. People shunned him to the point people would not even talk to him in group projects. He would get so anxious about having to go to school that he would throw up on a near-weekly basis. During many sleepless nights, he would wonder what was wrong with him, why he could not be like the other kids, what he did to deserve this fate. He would think about how the other students were so confident and looked so happy and free. What he would give to be one of them, yet he was so far away.
He decided that during middle school, he would make friends, no matter the sacrifices it took, whether that be his personality, his style, or even his well-being. Even if he had to be subjected to the worst sounds imaginable, he would make a friend. If it would cure his loneliness, he would do just about anything.
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On his first day of middle school, Mitsuba approached the school with reprehension. He had dreaded this day for the entire summer. He knew that he would be thrown back into the deep end without anyone there for him. To try to fit in more he toned down his style and adopted an approachable personality. As much as he wanted to be himself, he knew it would only lead to loneliness and regret.
“Class 1-B huh?” Mitsuba muttered to himself. When he got to his seat, he saw that the person behind him was already there, so he decided to try to introduce himself.
“Hi, what’s your name? I’m sorry my name is Mitsuba Sousuke, since they are setting us in name order I’ll be in front of you for a little while. I thought we could be friends,” said Mitsuba, extending his hand to the boy behind him.
“Uh sure,” he replied as he reached out his hand to shake back, “My name is Minamoto Kou.” As Mitsuba started to respond, the teacher entered the classroom, interrupting their conversation.
“Welcome to Kamone Academy! I hope you all have a wonderful experience here. I’ll start with attendance, Akari Kito?…” Mitsuba started to wonder how the year would go. Would it be a repeat of last year? Would it be better? Worse? He prayed to any god above that it would not be worse. He did not think he would be able to make it through another year if it was anything like the previous one.
As the day dragged on, Mitsuba grew more and more restless. He kept replaying those days from elementary school in his head. How he wanted to go back home and never leave again. But most of all, he dreaded lunch. He had no one to eat lunch with. Hell, no one would want to eat with him if he dared to mention his issues. He knew that they would make fun of him. They would not understand. How could they? He had never met anyone in his life who had ever talked about a similar problem.
“Ah, it’s time for lunch!” said the teacher, dragging Mitsuba out of his thoughts. The time he had been dreading. Oh, how he hoped lunch would be fast. Maybe he could see if that boy, Minamoto had anyone to eat with. But before he could ask, he saw two other boys approach him. Of course, how could a boy like Minamoto not have friends? It seemed like lunch would be a lonely time for him once again.
“Hey, who’s that kid with the pink hair?” asked the boy with dark hair who had just walked over. “Oh, he said his name was Mitsuba,” replied Minamoto. “Do you remember him from elementary school?” asked the other new boy. In response, both Minamoto and the boy with dark hair shook their heads no. “You should invite him over, I want to meet him,” said the second boy.
“Hey Mitsuba, you should come over, I want you to meet my friends!” said Minamoto. As Mitsuba approached, Minamoto introduced the two other boys. “This is Satou Yomogi,” he said gesturing to the boy with dark hair, “and this is Yokoo Shun,” gesturing to the boy with the light hair.
“Nice to meet you!” replied Mitsuba.
As the other three started to get their lunches out, Mitsuba began to feel a sinking feeling of dread, but he knew if said anything they would judge him. He knew he could not say anything if he wanted to become their friend. He had to tough it out, he had no other choice. But his face betrayed him, as he heard the crinkle of a bag, he cringed.
“What’s wrong?” asked Minamoto. “It’s nothing, I’m fine,” replied Mitsuba. “No really, are you okay?” repeated Minamoto “I’m fine, it’s fine,” insisted Mitsuba. “Well, If you say so,” Minamoto replied.
The lunch continued without any problem. Mitsuba pushed past his instinct to run from the sounds, grinning and bearing it. He also got more acquainted with both Minamoto and the two new boys. Before long, lunch was over, to the immense relief of Mitsba. Finally, he could escape.
The rest of the day came and went without much incident. He had made it through the first day of middle school, with only 239 more to go. 239 more lunches. 239 more days of hell. How was he going to survive it he wondered to himself. Well, the only option was to suck it up and deal with it. Maybe eventually he could get used to it. If only. Perhaps he would go deaf, fixing his problem.
“How’d school go?” Asked his mother when he got home.
“It was okay. I met a couple of people” he replied.
“That’s good news. Anything else of note?”
“Not really.”
“Well, dinner will be soon, try to get any homework you got done beforehand.”
He really had to tell her about his problems. He knows that she would be supportive and helpful, yet he can not bring himself to tell her. He does not want people to know. He does not want them to think he is a freak. Instead, he suffers. Sufferers for no reason. Needlessly suffering. His mother would not think he is a freak, but he still can not tell her. So instead, he keeps it to himself and puts on a face, hiding his pain through everything, like meals. God another meal he has to deal with. Meal after meal, it never ends. How he wishes he could drop off the face of the Earth to never have to be around another person eating again. Alas, he is forced to suffer. Why does living have to be so hard?
Thankfully his mother did not eat loudly or Mitsuba thinks he would have died long ago. He sucked up his fears and went and ate dinner with her. He survived, but only with a strategic bathroom break. One of these days he would break. He knew he had to say something before he got to that point but he could not force himself.
Before going to bed, he prayed that the next day would go well.
“One day at a time, take this one day at a time,” he thought to himself as a way to comfort and prepare himself for the next day before falling into an uneasy slumber.