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John sank to the floor slowly, staring blankly ahead at nothing. He had never felt more exhausted or lost in his life. He had planned this evening in complete detail, but the best laid plans etcetera.
He had received his orders just a week ago and had spent most of the time since trying to work up the courage to tell Steve what he felt, ask him to wait for his return. They could get married, maybe have a few kids, be happy. Like mamae had always told him when he was little. You’ll know, bambino. When you meet the One, everything will just... fall into place.
“You were wrong, mamae” he whispered into the silence of his miniscule apartment, for once grateful that his roommates weren’t home.
He could feel his eyes burn with tears he was too proud to let fall, as he remembered how his mamae had smiled when they sat together on the dusty stone stairs outside the academy. Mamae’s black cloak had shone in the sunlight like new armour and his smile had been as bright as the afternoon sun.
When you meet the one who is to make you a mamae, he had said, you will both know. And he will give you his seed and from your body will spring a child of your own.
But mamae had been wrong, as impossible as it seemed. Oh yes, mamae had been wrong.
Because tonight Steve had smiled at him and told him that Robert had asked him to marry him. And that he had said yes.
John leaned his head against his knees and cried.
Mamae had been wrong.