Work Text:
The dark settles over the sun like a blanket, Tony’s lab dimming just a little. He watches for a moment, eyes captured by the simple beauty of a dying sunset. He waits a second longer, watch the faded orb be completely taken over by the darkness before settling on his work again, hands steady as fiddled with the prototype in his hands. He had been at this for hours, working tirelessly to perfect his next suit. “Come on…come to daddy.” He uttered to himself, words nothing more than a mire whisper of breath in the otherwise quiet lab. He was laser focused on the project in front of him, eyes completely and utterly glued to it.
The minutes tick by slowly, every minute slowly engulfing Tony, his work the one thing that mattered to him in this moment. The only thing….
“Whatcha working on handsome?” An accented whispers into the shell of his ear, the weight of arms pressing against his abdomen, lightly constricting as they squeeze in an affectionate manner. It breaks Tony out of his enchantment, startling him briefly as he whips around quickly, coming face to face with this captor, ready to push them away if need be. Relief floods his system rather quickly once he drinks in the blue eyes of the super soldier, his form relaxing against the arms.
“Cap…” He breathes in relief, peace returning to his body. “You always manage to sneak up on me. I’m gonna have to insist you start wearing a bell around that neck of yours.”
“Kinky.” Steve answers dryly, arms releasing Tony to saddle in next to him. Tony enjoyed these evenings, when Steve would find a moment to spare, to join him in the lab. They sat in silence a moment, Tony acutely aware of the eyes now on him as he worked. What would make an average person a nervous wreck put Tony at ease; he liked being watched. It’s what made it all that more exciting.
“If you wanted to get kinky…” Tony started, a dramatic pause filling the air as he chose to flicker his eyes up at Steve, a mischievous glint in his eye poking through the soft of his lashes. “all you had to do was ask.”
The answering eye roll was one of playful annoyance, something that was typical of the two, especially now. They were always teasing each other or even getting on each others last nerve, making them just about insufferable to the rest of them team.
“Changing the subject…I have a surprise for you.” Steve’s tone and face became serious, the playfulness all but gone. Tony watched as it got swallowed up and replaced by a softness, a need that now filled Steve’s face.
Tony’s brows flicked upward in intrigue, his silent way of asking Steve to elaborate. He scooted in just a little bit closer, closing the gap between them as he waited for him to continue.
“I booked us an away weekend. A mini holiday. Just the two of us.” Steve’s smile was a bright as his eyes; so warm and full of life. He was beaming at the seams, radiating happiness. It nearly hurt, it was bright. Tony couldn’t stand how cute he was, he loved every minute of it why is why he felt his stomach churn, tighten at the words that were about to spew out of mouth.
“I…that’s lovely Stevie. It is. But I can’t go.”
“I’m sorry…I don’t think I heard you. Can you say that again?” Steve’s face was that of stone, cold and unmoving as he uttered those words, lips pinched into an unamused frown. Tony could feel the anger, the disappointment. It was suffocating the entire room, filling every space that wasn’t already occupied by deafening silence. Tony was prepared for it, prepared for the push back. Used to it even. It was their favorite pastime lately; fighting with each other. Always fighting.
He sat up, pulled himself together as he looked up at Steve through his lashes, silently pleading with him. “I can’t go. I have to work. I have to finish-.” A fist connecting with the workbench shatters the soft begging in his voice, making it stutter. He flinched in answer, scooting back from Steve. The push back he expected, even the anger. But not this; never this. No matter how heated the argument, no matter what they could be fighting about, no matter what Steve never faulted to violence. He watched with a guarded expression as Steve hugged his fist to his body, biting angrily in to his lip.
He wanted to reach out, to comfort him. To…He snapped out of those empathetic thoughts, tugging on his own lips for a brief moment. He needed to help in a way that didn’t involve him making the situation worse. On shaky legs he wandering off to the other side of the lab, going through the freezer with haste, hoping to salvage the fleeting moment between the two.
The ice pack was cold against his skin, making him shiver slightly as he took it to Steve, his gait slow yet steady, filled with purpose. He walked toward him, pack outstretched like a white flag calling for a moments peace. Showing Steve that he just wanted to help. He placed it against Steve’s hand, pressing down gently, making sure it seeped into each part of the battered knuckles. “This should help with the swelling. At the very least it’ll slow it down.” He whispered.
“You don’t have to do that.” Steve answered back. The anger in his voice had all but dissipated. There was a silence between the two them; an all too familiar comfortable one. They watched each other silently as the ice became room temperature. Words simply weren’t enough in this situation.
“Tony,” Steve started to say something. Tony watched with bated breath as Steve swallowed hard before starting again. The anticipation set in, Tony could feel it in his throat, his own lump forming. “Tony, we can’t keep doing this. All we do is hurt each other. Or get mad. Or both.”
“I told you I have to finish this-“
“You always have to finish something. It feels like an excuse. Like you are avoiding me.”
“I’m not! I have to finish this suit. I have been working on it for weeks and I think I have finally cracked it. I can-“
“Tony!” This time Steve’s voice was broken, thick with emotion and tears. Tony looked up, gasping at the amount of unshed tears built up in Steve’s eyes. They were threatening to spill over. To find their way to the surface. Tony hadn’t seen it before. Ever. Steve had always been the leader, the strong one, the one everyone could always lean on. He was the protector. To see him breaking like this…to see him falling apart, it killed Tony. He reached out, his hand cautious and slow as his thumb traced the waterline of Steve’s eye, wiping carefully at the tears that began to fall.
“You don’t talk to me anymore. You talk to anyone. You just hole up in this lab for weeks. You barely eat. Barely sleep. We don’t hardly see you. I don’t hardly see you. And when I ask for a weekend away…” Steve steps back from Tony, head hung in sadness. “I can’t keep doing this. You have to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Please.” Steve looked up at Tony, eyes shiny with unshed tears, silently begging for something; anything.
Tony stood there, frozen yet again. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t. The words were failing him. How could possibly begin to even explain to Steve how he was feeling? How was he to explain to the one person he loved more than anything that he felt lost. That he felt helpless that after everything they went through with the rest of the team, with their family, that he didn’t know how to cope?
“I-“ He began, his words failing him once again. He shook his head instead, hanging it in shame.
Steve laughed humorlessly. His voice hoarse from the tears. He shook his head in disbelief, looking up at the ceiling. “I just wanted you to talk to me.” Is all Steve could manage before he turned to walk out, leaving the lab without a final glance.