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~~~~
“Dostoyevsky?”
“Yes, Sigma?”
“Tell me a story, like about you.”
“Just about me?”
“Actually—-maybe a story about you and Nikolai.”
“Nikolai—..Nikolai Gogol? It's been years; almost a decade in fact since I last heard his name. I forgot how nice it was to hear it.”
“Yes, tell me the story of you and Nikolai.”
“Don’t you mean..“a” story?”
“No..”
“Tell me the story of you and Nikolai, please.”
~~~~
“And then the girl tried to throw a knife at me! It was hilarious cause I caught it with my hand—as in I caught the sharp-blade part…with my hand! Then I threw the knife back at her—and—“ Nikolai looked like he was trying to hold back his laughter, he cackled before continuing.
“And the knife hit her eye! As in the handle of the knife! And she already fell to the ground with blood in her mouth! It was so pathetic..!” He burst out laughing as he clenched his stomach. Fyodor chuckled quietly, his manners being ever so formal even when him and Nikolai were in a public playground, sat on the rusty swings as Nikolai pushed himself off the ground, moving with the direction of the air as he swung back and forth.
“That’s quite lamentable for her, for you that must’ve been amusing.” Fyodor hummed, tucking hair behind his ear. The time was currently just after they had dinner, around 8:00 PM.
“It was! It was certainly amusing!” replied Nikolai, meeting Fyodor’s gaze as the momentum of his swinging progressively slowed down.
~~~~
Fyodor explained, “Then, our eyes met. And something in Nikolai’s eyes was different; there was a glint—no, a light in his irises, filled with purity and innocence. His eyes were so heavenly, I could see myself in it; my dry, pale self in the reflection. It’s like I could feel my importance to him through his gaze.”
Amusement written on his face as Fyodor described Nikolai’s eyes—yet a look of pain quickly flashed as he looked down on the ground, a feeling of regret was evident in Fyodor’s behavior. Why?
“You..you were able to note that all down..just from the split second he stopped swinging?” Sigma questioned, impressed at the Russian twink murderer.
Fyodor nodded. “Correct, when it comes to Nikolai, his actions tell much more of a story than his words. Although…”
Sigma raised an eyebrow. “Although what?”
~~~~
Nikolai continued, occasionally looking at Fyodor’s eyes when he stopped swinging. “But yeah, my trip to the museum ended in such a–”
He suddenly stopped, he realized Fyodor was in a trance-like manner as he just stared at Nikolai. He realized Fyodor hadn't been listening as the two fell in an uncomfortable silence as Fyodor kept staring at the white-haired psycho, a blank expression painted on his anemic skin. Nikolai felt flushed, he raised his eyebrows in panic as he tried to open his mouth in hope words would come out, yet the only thing that could be understood was pure stuttering.
Fyodor snapped out of his trance, he realized he was staring at Nikolai's irises for way too long and ended up in an awkward atmosphere. He quickly looked away and tried to laugh it off.
“Apologies–I uh..lost focus for a second..” Fyodor muttered, fidgeting with the lapel of his jacket.
Nikolai’s voice grew louder, as if he was taken aback with the reaction of Fyodor. “A-ah, no worries, Dos-kun…A-anyways!”
~~~~
“I believe I stared at him for more than I intended. Things got awkward quickly, and I internally felt so embarrassed that I had not realized I had been staring like that. I'm not quite sure what Nikolai was thinking at that time, but I hope he didn't think of me as weird. I really hope he didn't.”
Sigma grumbled under his breath. “For what it means, Nikolai most likely enjoyed that.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Continue your story, please. ”
~~~~
Fyodor stood up from the swing set as he extended his palm for Nikolai to take.
“Let's leave, I think the children want to utilize the swings as well.”
Nikolai took Fyodor's hand as he stood up from the rusty swing set, he grinned and spoke up with a tone laced with cheekiness, yet mysterious at the same time.
“Drive me somewhere, Dos-kun~!”
~~~~
“At first, it was a sentence I couldn't understand.” Fyodor commented. “So I led him to my car and drove to the first place I could think of.”
“Which was..?”
“My favorite place to go Yokohama, I took Nikolai to the grass fields.”
~~~~
Fyodor and Nikolai walked to the parking lot, for some reason still holding hands (I don't think Fyodor bothered to even let go). The Russian's hands were cold, even in the hot summer, which surprised Nikolai, considering how clammy his hands were compared to Fyodor’s.
As they reached Fyodor's black car, size of an average 6 seater, he gestured for Nikolai to get in the front seat while Fyodor himself got into the driver’s seat. Fyodor got the car started and drove to the direction of the grass fields. Nikolai buckled his seatbelt and turned on the music channel via the radio.
“Fedya~.”
“Yes, Nikolai?”
“Where are you taking me?”
“You'll see, it's quite the scenery.”
“Ooh! Can I guess?”
Fyodor contemplated it, then he spoke up. “Well–..okay, try to guess.”
“Can I get a wish if I get it right?”
“I’ll see what the wish is first before I try to grant it.” Fyodor chuckled.
“Okay.” Nikolai smirked.
“So what is your guess?”
“The grass fields.”
Fyodor looked at Nikolai, his expression almost impressed. “How did you know?”
“Aha!” Nikolai lit up, slightly jumping off his seat. “You told me once--not too long ago that it was your favorite place to go to in Yokohama~!”
Fyodor couldn't help but gape his mouth in suspicion, he then covered up his curiosity with a small smile.
~~~~
“The funny part was I don't even remember telling Nikolai--or anyone about the grass fields. I only remember writing it down on paper..it's still a mystery to me how he knew that.” chuckled Fyodor.
“If you think about it..” Sigma shrugged. “Nikolai's ability could've stolen the paper that you wrote the info down on.”
Fyodor narrowed his eyes slightly. He then formed an “O” with his mouth.
“That–..yeah, that could've happened, you are correct, Sigma.”
“Thank you. Keep going with your story, please..”
~~~~
“So..what's the wish you earned so easily?”
Nikolai thought about it for a moment, he then looked down on his lap.
“I guess..well…I'm going to save my wish! So that when I come up with what I want, I'll use it then~!”
“That is a smart move, very well then, Kol-ya.”
A few minutes by passed as Nikolai stared out the window next to him, humming the current tune of the song. Fyodor would occasionally glance at Nikolai being so at ease while he subconsciously hummed—
~~~~
“Wait, wait, wait. The way you're describing your self sounds like you were head over heals for him.”
“Uhm-..I don't know how to respond to that.”
Sigma laughed. “It's fine, keep going.”
~~~~
Fyodor couldn't help it. As much as he was a collected and quiet person, he hated himself for trying to be a better person when Nikolai was around..gosh, why?
“Do you..do you want me to turn the music louder?” Fyodor asked, almost stumbling over his words.
Nikolai turned his head to meet Fyodor’s eyes, he smiled slightly. “That'd be great, Dos-kun.”
Fyodor left one hand on the steering wheel as he turned the small knob that adjusted the volume of the current music, “Fireflies” by Owl City.
“..lit up the world as I fell asleep..”
Nikolai sang quietly, even if the volume of his voice was tainted, Fyodor immediately felt stunned. Hearing his voice singing music was certainly a first time for Fyodor. Nikolai sung more of the lyrics as Fyodor realized how good he was; of course, he wasn't the best, but his tone was pure, it was adorable and sounded like Nikolai enjoyed singing it, even if there were some small slip-ups.
“Nikolai, you have a pretty voice.” abruptly brought up Fyodor, making Nikolai slightly embarrassed.
“Oh-! Thanks, Fyodor..” Nikolai brightly exclaimed.
“Will you sing louder for me?..please?”
Nikolai was taken aback by the request of Fyodor, it certainly was something he wanted to refuse, but Fyodor asked so gently..how could he not?
“Can you sing with me if I sing it~?” Nikolai teased.
Fyodor chuckled. “I am unable to sing, it wasn't something I was ever good at really.”
“Aww~. Please, Dos-kun~?” Nikolai playfully asked.
…
“Wait–” Nikolai narrowed his eyes. “---do you even listen to music that's not classical?”
Fyodor pressed his lips to form a line, he akwardly looked at Nikolai and shook his head horizontally.
Nikolai gaped, he furrowed his eyebrows as he sat up straight in the seat instead of slouching.
“Are you--are you actually serious, Fyodor Dostoevsky?” Nikolai demanded, pulling out the full name of the Russian's. It was in a tone where it was clear he was just messing around, and not in a rude voice.
“Deepest apologies, Nikolai Gogol.”
“You've got to know atleast 1 pop song, right? I know you know classical music but like--not even Mitski? Laufey? Ariana Grandé?” Nikolai shot various questions at Fyodor.
“Is..is Frank Sinatra pop?”
“Frank Sinatra??? The 1960’s guy?? Fyodor! That was decades ago! Oh my gosh, you're so uncultured!” Nikolai groaned.
Fyodor loved seeing Nikolai like this, carefree as he rambles more than forming actual sentences.
“Well-..I know like..the name has something to do with temperature—....I think.. Coldplay? I've listened to like..two songs.” unsurely mentioned Fyodor.
“Aw~! Coldplay! Which songs?”
“Yellow…? The Scientist..and..Fix You?”
“Oh! I love Fix You!” Nikolai happily grinned.
“I vaguely remember the chorus, but I do remember the tune. I do agree, it is quite a nice song.”
“Then let's sing it! Can you play it on the radio?”
“Afraid not, the radio is live so I can't choose the song that plays.”
“Aww! That's okay,” Nikolai hummed. “do you have a piano?”
Fyodor looked at Nikolai with an unamused face. “Do you think I'd have a spare piano in my car?”
“Point taken, anyways, maybe we can sing it another time! Promise me we will!”
Fyodor smiled softly. “Fine, Nikolai..I promise to sing that Coldplay song with you, whether it may be next week or in five years.”
“Great! Looking forward to that, Dos-kun~!” Nikolai teased, snickering.
“I love you, Fyodor.”
…
Fyodor didn't reply.
~~~~
“So were you able to sing that song with Nikolai-kun?” Sigma asked, curious with the current moment of the story.
“You'll find out when I get to that part.”
“So you did sing.”
“Not quite, just listen.”
~~~~
Maybe around 30 minutes later, they arrived at the grass fields, surrounded by what seemed to be a small, quiet forest. It was already 9:00, and Nikolai couldn't help but fall asleep, leaning on the side of the car as he quietly snored.
Fyodor parked the car, he then turned off the engines of the vehicle. He realized that he needed to wake up Nikolai, yet he didn't know how. He gently rubbed Nikolai's shoulder, trying to push him so he would wake up.
“Kol-ya..” Fyodor whispered. “We're here..”
Nikolai instantly woke up, his eyes slightly drowsy. A smile grew on his face which made Fyodor's heart melt.
“...yay..!” He remarked in a hushed tone with an upbeat and bright vibe to his face, making Fyodor chuckle.
Fyodor got out of the car first, he walked over to the side of the car where Nikolai was as he opened the door, extending his hand to help Nikolai get down.
Nikolai obliged to taking Fyodor's hand as he hopped off the car. The two made it to a smooth section of the field, where they brought a small blanket to sit down on.
Even the stars came out; even if Yokohama was a bustling city with lights open everywhere. The sky shimmered in Nikolai's irises, you could see the stars twinkle through the reflection–
~~~~
“I see how much focus you put into Nikolai's eyes.” teased Sigma, trying to hold back laughter.
“It'd be much appreciate Sigma if you would kindly stop talking.” Fyodor grumbled.
~~~~
Nikolai lied down on the blanket while Fyodor sat down with his legs crossed like a pretzel. For some reason, the two would only talk occasionally, they would be too caught up watching the night sky.
“Fyodor..” Nikolai started abruptly, piquing the interest of Fyodor as his blood-red eyes glimmered.
“Yes, Nikolai..?”
“I think I know what my wish is.”
Nikolai's sleepy voice made Fyodor huff, slightly smiling. “Please do share it, Nikolai.”
“I want to camp with you, here in the fields. Just for tonight. Can you do that for me~?” Nikolai pleaded, his tone almost like he was begging.
As much as Fyodor wanted to end the day alone, Nikolai looked so genuinely serious about camping. Why—or how could he say no?
“I can fulfill that wish, Nikolai. I believe I still have a few camping supplies in the trunk of my car, you got lucky.” chuckled Fyodor, softening his gaze.
Nikolai grinned, he looked like he was forcing out the last of his energy. “Great! I'll help you get it, Dos-kun~!”
“And Fyodor?” Nikolai brought up.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
…
Fyodor didn't reply.
~~~~
“Down bad, down bad is what I would call you.”
“Who taught you that slang? It isn't very adequate for the moment, Sigma.”
“Dazai had permanently changed my life, literally.”
~~~~
Fyodor hated the way his personality changed drastically after saying yes to camping with Nikolai Gogol. Gosh, why would he say yes to such things? It wasn't very “Fyodor” of Fyodor to accept a request so easily, it also wasn't very “Fyodor” of Fyodor to accept a request of sleeping with your friend..in an enclosed tent..in the middle of nowhere..ah. What a great decision Fyodor made. Although, looking at Nikolai's joyed face as they moved the tent supplies to the desired location, Fyodor didn't regret his decision the slightest bit. Specifically after hearing Nikolai's small cheers after they assemble the black-coloured tent.
“Ta-da! I've never done this in my life.” Nikolai bounced, clapping his hands as him and Fyodor entered the black tent.
Fyodor scrunched his nose. “Really? I am glad this will be your first time.”
Nikolai zipped the tent closed and he was left with a few pillows, marshamallows (that they wouldn't bother to toast), a mediocre-sized lamp, Fyodor, and himself.
“Kol-ya,” Fyodor abruptly spoke as he opened the bag of marshmallows, plopping one in his mouth. “do you feel tired? Would you like to go to sleep already?”
“I'm not answering your question ‘til you feed me a marshmallow.” playfully joked Nikolai.
Fyodor rolled his eyes.
“What princess treatment i’m giving you.”
He grumbled as he obliged to Nikolai's demand, grabbing a marshmallow from the bag and holds it up to Nikolai's mouth, waiting for him to eat.
“Say “ah”, Kol-ya~.” Fyodor hummed, moving the marshmallow in circles.
Nikolai opened his mouth as Fyodor fed him the sticky, pillow-like sweet. Fyodor's fingertips were almost closed in Nikolai's mouth as he chewed on the marshmallow.
If screaming internally was a sport, Fyodor became an instant professional-athlete. Even with his anemic skin, he could feel pink hues creeping up his face--and the worst part? Nikolai didn't even intend to close his mouth on Fyodor's fingertips.
“I love you, Fyodor.”
…
Fyodor didn't reply.
~~~~
“Even with so much thought coming from me during this time, this all happened in like a second. Nikolai probably didn't even notice, yet this was the most vulnerable I've shown myself to him.” Fyodor muttered, laughing it off as thoughts about the accident run in his head.
“I hope that didn't lead to anything..weird.” awkwardly put out Sigma.
Fyodor's eyes widened in surprise, soon he was almost as red as his irises.
“W-what?! Of course not! Sigma! What on earth are you talking about?!”
Sigma snickered. “Sorry, sorry..that was the vibe I was getting--anyways..Nikolai has been saying “I love you” a lot to you in this story, you haven't replied at all..?”
“..we'll get to that in one second.”
~~~~
“Anyways!” Nikolai giggled. “I don't wanna sleep yet, Fedya, do you?”
Fyodor did want to sleep. In fact, he was so tired from the day that he wanted to crash right now. But..looking at how peaceful and joyous he was currently, he wanted to give Nikolai the world. He wanted to stay up the entire night for him, the smile of Nikolai's was like no other; satisfactory would rush up Fyodor whenever his eyes laid on the grin of the Ukranian.
“Not really, Gogol. What would you suggest we do..?”
“You wanna watch a movie?”
“How?” suspicously replied Fyodor.
“I brought my phone, we can watch a short movie before we sleep----only if you want!”
“Sure—except I do not watch movies so I don't really know what to watch”
“That's okay!! I can decide..just tell me, what genre?”
“...Drama?”
Nikolai snapped his fingers. “I was hoping you'd say that! Let's watch “Dangerously Yours”~.” His tone was smug, almost like he was plotting something. Fyodor had never watched the film, so he didn't know what he was in for.
“When was this made..?”
“1939? 1937? Something like that..?” Nikolai guessed, opening his phone and finding the file of the movie.
“What is it about..?”
“You'll find out, just watch~.”
Soon, Nikolai's phone was propped up against the lamp and the movie started playing. The two got themselves comfortable with both boys laying down on their stomach, Nikolai kicking his feet as Fyodor clicks the “PLAY” button.
~~~~
“The film was around an hour or so, the movie was quite thrilling actually; I was so invested in the plotline and the film in general that Nikolai teased me for maybe a week or more.” Fyodor chuckled.
“Did anything interesting happen between you two during the duration of the movie?” Sigma questioned.
Fyodor looked like an idea popped up in his mind. “Well--there is one thing..it was a small interaction from us.”
~~~
It was maybe the last scene of the movie, Nikolai looked like he was about to sleep and Fyodor had his full attention on the film.
The scene was intense as the characters started to argue, Fyodor felt his energy rise as he heard the next few lines:
“I couldn’t have betrayed you… I tried to tell you and you said you already knew! I was as honest as I knew how to be!”
“So stupid these characters are..” Fyodor mumbled.
“Do you think I wanted to love you…?! Knowing where ya came from and what your mission was?! Don’t you suppose that every hour that we were together I was just thinking ‘Shes just pretending’?!”
“I wasn’t!!! I loved you!!!”
Fyodor rolled his eyes at the screen, he then shifted his attention towards Nikolai, who was literally fighting a war to stay awake.
“Kol-ya? We can stop the film already, you look exhausted.”
“...no…it's..it's almost done..” mumbled Nikolai, smiling softly, when he wasn't an energetic ball of sunshine, he was so peaceful and quiet. It warmed Fyodor's heart so much.
“If you say so, Nikolai.” Fyodor huffed, ruffling Nikolai's snow-white hair.
“And I loved you so much I let you pretend… because you brought something to my days I couldn’t stand the thought of losing…Listen to your heart Catheryne. Feel it pounding.”
“Your time is up.”
“Then my last words… I love you Catheryne.”
Nikolai mumbled, his voice groggy and could be barely heard. “..then..my last words..i love you..Catheryne..”
“You memorise this?” smirked Fyodor.
“You’re determined to die with a lie on your lips?!”
“You're..you're determined..t'die..with a lie on..y'lips..” Nikolai slurred his words, impressing Fyodor as the movie starts to end.
Bang!
…
“.. I.. I love you..Catheryne..” Nikolai whispered.
“I—…love you.. Catheryne…!!”
Fyodor turned off Nikolai's phone, he dimmed the lamp lights and tucked himself in.
“I have to say Nikolai..that film was quite interesting.” Fyodor hummed, closing his eyes.
“..it’s..it's one of my..m’favorites..”
“Let's talk more about it in the morning, okay? I want you to have a well rest.”
“...m'kay…”
Literally maybe three minutes later, Nikolai was fast asleep. His quiet groans really proved how sleepy he was, his hair was still shaggy and swooped like the wings of a bat. Fyodor looked at Nikolai one last time before closing his eyes..did he actually fall asleep? We'll see.
~~~~
“I haven't even got to the strange part.” Fyodor warned. “Something I learned about him that night was that he would regularly wake up in the middle of the night, hyper and excited. Something he didn't know about me was that I don't fall asleep the entire night, I just rest my eyes.”
Sigma furrowed his eyebrows, his nose slightly scrunched. “How do you..how do you even get sleep?!”
Fyodor shrugged. “Don't ask me.”
“Anyways, what happened?”
“This is only from my perspective, but maybe if Nikolai told the story, it would be different. After all, my eyes were shut tight.”
~~~~
It was maybe 12:10? 12:10 when Nikolai woke up, the moonlight shone through the tent, the lamp still dim lit, and Fyodor's gentle appearance as his eyes were closed, his lips glossy even compared to his pale skin.
Fyodor could only comprehend a small laugh from Nikolai, he realized that he awoke from his slumber. For some reason, Fyodor's heart wouldn't stop pounding like crazy. He had to pretend like he was sleeping or else Nikolai would talk to him for the rest of the night, especially after Nikolai had his rest and he was probably ready to be an energetic sunshine again.
“Damnit, Fyodor..you're so pretty..” Nikolai mumbled, his voice barely a whisper.
Fyodor wanted to deny that, he really did. But he would regret opening his eyes for his entire life if he did.
Nikolai started to stroke Fyodor's hair, jet black and smooth. At first Fyodor wanted to blush like hell, he wanted to move away but—..why did he feel satisfaction?
“I woke up especially now since I know you'd be asleep.”
News Flash: Fyodor wasn't asleep.
“I needed to talk to you in a way where you would only listen.”
Fyodor really hoped Nikolai didn't notice his eyebrow twitch, it was like a horror movie for him.
“I know..I know you've been ignoring me after I say a specific phrase.”
Oh crap. Fyodor thought. He knew the exact phrase Nikolai was talking about. Those 3 words, 8 letters--10 including spaces…
“And I get it..you stand by the beliefs of Christanity--and, and I respect that fully.” Nikolai began, still whispering. “I get it, you are a natural closed off person.”
“But…”
“I hope you don't hate me every time I say “I love you” to you.”
…
“I wish more people would say that to you..not just my gender..but others too. You deserve it after everything, Fyodor–”
“--and I know, you are more of a messed-up person than you are a good one..but the fact that you said yes to camping with me, even when I could tell you were tired..makes me believe that you are willing to be good sometimes..”
Fyodor felt heat in his face..why was Nikolai saying this all of a sudden?
Nikolai cleared his throat before saying the phrase that Fyodor would end up thinking about for the rest of his life.
“Which also–” Nikolai's voice cracked. “--also..also makes me believe that one day..you'll day “I love you” to me back..”
“...whether it's next week..or five years later.”
~~~~
“I never really let go of that message, it was certainly something on my mind for a while.”
“So Nikolai admitted that he loved you--romantically..and what did you do?”
“I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was a mess; especially since it was 12 AM.”
~~~~
“You might..you might've hated me if I told you this while you were awake.” Nikolai chuckled. “You will hate me once you find out I've said that..i'm sure you'll find out somehow.”
Well, Fyodor already found out. Get that checked off the list.
“I hope you don't. I really hope you don't, Fedya.”
Fyodor could hear Nikolai going outside for a while, he fell asleep too quickly to know if Nikolai came back inside the tent or not; luckily, that question was answered when Fyodor woke up in the morning. Seeing Nikolai, scrolling on his phone.
~~~~
“This entire story portrays how you actually are when you're around Nikolai, what a change from your enigmatic self.” Sigma huffed.
“This small thing we did together will come together if I tell you how our story ends, which maybe was 4-ish years later.” sadly explained Fyodor.
“Are you comfortable with telling it? You..you don't have to.” Sigma reassured Fyodor.
“I will tell you. Do you remember the ‘Harcressants?’ ”
“The group that tried to kill you? As in the ones that were like obsessed with trying to torture you?” Sigma asked.
“Yeah, they are related to this.”
[A/N: hi so random insert that idfk what the Harcressants are I just chose a name to represent the sorta cult that is obsessed with torturing fyodor so like they focus entirely on fyodor. again idfk so like just go with it haha :)]
~~~~
[five years later since the camping trip]
Fyodor was in his working room, writing with ink on some parchment. The sunlight rayed through the stained glass as he kept his head down, writing without a plan to stop. His black hair still cut until his shoulders, his fiery red eyes still glimmering, and his personality still stoic.
“So you've heard.” Fyodor abruptly mentioned as he heard someone walk in. Still keeping his head down, he was already able to tell who was there.
“Yes, I've heard, Fyodor.” smugly responded Osamu Dazai, former member of the Port Mafia, and a current member of the Armed Detective Agency, and also could be refered to “Dostoevsky’s past colleague.”
“What is your plan? Against the Harcressants.” Dazai hummed, walking closer to the desk of Fyodor.
“I think i’m just gonna ignore it. They haven’t done anything major to me.” Fyodor chuckled, surprisingly nonchalant with the situation.
“Dostoevsky, you know that's not gonna get you far, they're gonna catch you sometime.”
“They made it clear they wanted to torture me, but do you really believe that they can do that? To me?” Fyodor cackled.
“I get it, your ability is powerful. But they know about that, they aren't gonna try to kill you. Because torture doesn't mean kill, they are gonna make you feel like you want to die yourself. That's torture.” Dazai explained, Fyodor finally looking up at him. Dazai's brown ruffly hair, his menacing yet playful eyes, who knew such a soft looking person could be a suicidal maniac.
“I know that, that's why I'm going to ignore them. Simple.”
“Harcressants are a big deal, Fyodor.” chided Dazai, his tone slightly irritated.
“Why would you care? They aren't after you.”
“I care because they are after you. Don't you get it? They are the first rebellion to try and actually go after you, not even the Port Mafia would dare to try.”
“The Harcressants haven't actually seen my face. They know my name, all my personel, but they don't know my face. See how pathetic that is? They are looking for someone they know all about in the streets of Yokohama when they don't even know their face. Absolutely poor execution.” Fyodor scoffed.
Dazai had a sudden change of reaction, he looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Wait, wait–...they don't know..they don't know what you look like?”
Fyodor smiled. “Yeah, I can literally make someone pretend to be me and they'd torture them.”
~~~~
“Yet the Harcressants didn't matter much until the day of Nikolai's death.” Fyodor told, his tone mournful.
Sigma lowered his head, fidgeting with his hands. “The Harcressants had something to do with..with Nikolai's death?”
“They had everything to do with Nikolai's death.”
~~~~
It was maybe months after Fyodor's interaction with Dazai. On a random Tuesday, Fyodor received a text from Nikolai.
urlocalclownass is online
urlocalclownass
fedya
Fyodor raised an eyebrow at the sudden text. He didn't even use his phone much, but since Nikolai was online, why not reply?
fyodor.dostoyevsky is online
fyodor.dostoyevsky
hello, kol-ya.
fyodor.dostoyevsky
what must you need?
urlocalclownass
soooo
urlocalclownass
don't be mad at me ok?
fyodor.dostoyevsky
let's see what it is first
urlocalclownass
lmaoaoao ok
urlocalclownass
don't come to the doa base today plspslspslspspsls
Fyodor raised an eyebrow at Nikolai's text, why shouldn't he come?
fyodor.dostoyevsky
uhm,,, why?
urlocalclownass
fedya it's hard to explain just please
promise me you won't go today
fyodor.dostoyevsky
,,,sure.
urlocalclownass
let's see how long that promise lasts
urlocalclownass
and fyodor..?
fyodor.dostoyevsky
yes?
urlocalclownass
I'm sorry for what's about to happen
urlocalclownass
i love you so so so so so super much <333
urlocalclownass
that's all you need to remember
urlocalclownass is offline
fyodor.dostoyevsky
wait nikolai what’s happening
fyodor.dostoyevsky
nikolai
fyodor.dostoyevsky
nikolai hey
fyodor.dostoyevsky
nikoooolaiiii
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Fyodor couldn't help but feel worried for what ever Nikolai was talking about. He sounded like he was about to..die? Gosh, Fyodor's heart was beating hard. He didn't have any context to why Nikolai started to get all sappy.
“Damnit, Nikolai..now I have to break that promise.” Fyodor mumbled to himself, grabbing his white coat as he heads out the door.
Fyodor rushed to the base of the Decay of Angels, which was in an abandoned hotel in the middle of the woods, sorta near Sky Casino, which was owned by one of the Decay of Angel members, Sigma.
As Fyodor slammed the door open, he saw a lot of people surrounding something that looked like..like a noose..? But as Fyodor tried to comprehend what was going on, his eyes landed on the person next to the crucifix, his arms tied up in a rope. He looked nervous yet confident, but as soon as Fyodor recognized the white hair, he realized it was Nikolai.
His heart was telling him to charge in and help Nikolai, but his brain was saying that wasn't logical. Nikolai had his usual outfit on, but there was a worrying vibe to him. The people surrounding him all had plain black shirts with a Japanese characters that read:
“HARCRESSANTS”
.
.
.
Fyodor's pupils dilated, a million thoughts entered his mind. Why were the Harcressants after Nikolai?
~~~~
Sigma bit his quivering bottom lip, he knew the ending of this story. Fyodor moved closer to Sigma and wrapped one arm around Sigma’s shoulder.
“I don't have to continue if you don't want to listen, Sigma.”
“No–..please..please continue if you want.” brittlely responded Sigma.
~~~~
Fyodor hid behind some broken furniture and saw one of the Harcressant members pull out a camera.
“Say it, you bastard.” said the Harcressant member with the camera as she started recording.
Nikolai looked up from the ground and smugly grinned, he was punched in the face by another Harcressant member that was beside him. Fyodor’s heart throbbed. Nikolai coughed up blood before speaking up.
“My name is Fyodor Dostoyevsky. This is my appearance. And I have commited more crimes than you can count. My ability is “Crime and Punishment”. I have been captured by these idiots and–”
Nikolai was punched again by the same Harcressant member but much harder to make Nikolai hiss.
Fyodor furrowed his eyebrows when he heard Nikolai saying his name, and saying his ability. Why would Nikolai pretend to be Fyodor?
~~~~
“Remember…remember how I said that the Harcressant’s didn't know my appearance? I think Nikolai knew that.”
~~~~
The Harcressants forced him to put his neck around the noose and stand on the stool. Nikolai swallowed a lump in his throat, he looked nervous.
Why couldn't he use his ability? Fyodor thought. Then he remembered that he was pretending to be Fyodor and if he used “The Overcoat”, he'd be busted. Of course the Harcressants knew about Fyodor’s ability, that's why they were using a noose.
One by one, the members used a gun and shot the stool, almost breaking it. After almost all of them had left the hotel, the Harcressant with the camera kicked the stool of Nikolai's and stopped recording, she accidentally dropped her gun but she didn't care as she ran out of the hotel quickly, leaving Nikolai to start losing oxygen.
Once the door slammed shut, Fyodor immediately ran up to Nikolai who was choking.
“Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai, crap.” rushed Fyodor as he pulled out a spare knife in his coat pocket. He quickly cut the top of the rope, letting Nikolai collapse on the floor, still coughing.
“...I..I told..I told you..not to come..” weakly put out Nikolai.
“Nikolai, why would you do this?” Fyodor mumbled, helping Nikolai get the excess rope of his neck.
“...they..they almost killed Bram to find you..”
Fyodor helped Nikolai sit up against the wall until–
BANG!!
Nikolai's stomach was dripping with blood, he was shot by a Harcressant member at the door who saw everything. As soon as Fyodor processed this, he swiftly grabbed the gun on the floor which was dropped by the member with the camera, and shot the Harcressant at the door in the head. He fell to the floor dead.
Fyodor turned to the bleeding out Nikolai, coughing out blood as the gun shot wound in his stomach kept spewing blood.
“Crap, crap, crap..oh my god.. Nikolai—”
“F-Fedya...” Nikolai began softly, trembling.
Fyodor out of instict, ripped a part of his coat and placed it gently on top of the wound, trying to apply pressure as he cradles Nikolai in his arms.
“Please stay with me, Kol-ya---please, please.” begged Fyodor, beginning to panick.
“I..I like..I like me in your a-arms..I like me..me when I'm w-with you..” Nikolai forced out a grin.
“Nikolai, it's not your time yet–”
“I..I don't want to d-die yet, F-Fyodor.”
cried Nikolai, his eyes glistening. His face covered in bruises, his hair messed up, his clothing stained with red, but his smile still pure.
“You, you aren't going yet, Nikolai.” Fyodor demanded, stammering.
Fyodor didn't know how to react in such a quick moment, he tried to ignore his shaky voice and return the promise to Nikolai.
"L-lights..will..guide..you home." he softly sang Coldplay's "Fix You".
"You--...y-you remember that..p-promisw, didn't y-you..D-Dos-kun?" Nikolai smiled he tried to suck up his tears and sing along.
"A-and..ignite..y-your bones.."
"And I will try...t-to fix you." Fyodor softly ended, letting Nikolai enjoy the last song he might ever hear.
The blood loss was getting worse for Nikolai, a pool of the red liquid surrounding the two.
Nikolai pleaded for the one thing he wanted to hear. “F-Fedya..p-please..please just say the 3 words…”
Fyodor tried to smile as he pressed his lips on Nikolai's, the kiss was quick and wet; Nikolai's lips tasted like blood from the obvious punching.
“I love you, Kol-ya. I love you so much.”
Nikolai weakly grinned from end to end, his hands shaking as he rests them around Fyodor’s neck. A tear fell on his cheek as he whispered:
“I-I love you so m-much too, Fedya.”
And the life in Nikolai faded. Fyodor forced back tears as he used his palm to gently close Nikolai's eyes. Holding him close as he calls Nikolai's name several times in a hushed tone.
~~~~
Sigma cried softly in Fyodor’s arms, mourning the loss of Nikolai Gogol.
“N-Nikolai would’ve loved to see you using those stupid slangs.” mumbled Fyodor.
“N-Nikolai would've loved to see you becoming more friendly around people.” Sigma stammered.
“I'm glad Nikolai was Nikolai.”
~~~~