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It was perhaps his worst flaw of character. Jealousy wasn’t something to be ashamed of, most of the time, anyway. It occurred naturally, to see people brighter and stronger than you manage daily tasks more efficiently than you.
Every human strives to become the best version of themselves, and Shikamaru, as indifferent as he may be, did adhere to basic human biology and instinct. He wanted to get better at shogi because he knew he was defeatable. He wanted to understand the sky better because he knew precipitation was unpredictable.
There was no reasonable excuse as to why he wanted to have Naruto as badly as he did.
Shikamaru, once more, was confronted by Hinata mewling over her almost hubby, Naruto sitting next to her, ever the wiser. Shikamaru’s jealousy was unreasonable and loud. His brows pointed to the woman at all times, his face contorted with green scales and unlimited distress.
“What did Hinata do to you?” Ino barked a laugh next to him, following his line of sight and wondering what about the woman had Shikamaru in such a trance.
Shikamaru didn't respond. They sat for dinner, and if his long looks weren’t inappropriate enough for the setting, Ino’s wild banter most definitely would have been. He did look down at his food instead of watching Hinata’s hand slide in between Naruto’s fingers.
“What’s gotten into him, Chouji?” Ino pressed on, asking their teammate who sat on the other side of his best friend. “I always knew he had a bone to pick with women,”
“I don’t think it’s that,” Chouji was too preoccupied scuffling down his meal to even notice Shikamaru’s sour mood. “Maybe he needs a cigarette,”
“Chouji’s right,” Shikamaru immediately took his chance to stand up from his chair, hand patting his pocket to check if his cigarette deck was still there. He was smoking less now that their village was getting back on its feet, but it made for a good excuse to scurry from treacherous waters.
He waltzed outside of the restaurant, lighting a smoke even if he didn't feel like it. It was chilly and the sky was dark with clouds and unshed rain. It wasn't a pleasant evening.
“Hey, Shikamaru,” the person he least wanted to follow him outside pushed the heavy door of the restaurant open. “You didn't say a thing,” Naruto smiled, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket. He rarely smoked, but Shikamaru’s habit seemed to bring out the worst in him. His cigarettes were thin and long, white filters making the act somewhat elegant.
Shikamaru didn't say anything. He looked at Naruto and wondered why he couldn't just have fallen in love with anyone from the brothel mere yards from their location. It would’ve made things so much easier. “I’m homosexual, you know that, right?”
Truly, Shikamaru didn't know why he had said that. He never confessed his sexuality out loud before. Naruto’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh! I’ve heard about that! Well, I didn't know you were homosexual, I just y’know— heard about homosexuality before,” Naruto looked awkward, shuffling on his feet while inhaling a little smoke. “That’s cool,”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes heavily at Naruto’s half-shrug. He thought he might just as well go with it. “It isn’t cool,” he said, and Naruto didn't want to press the conversation forward. “Courting is a little different for us. We watch, seek each other out, and knock twice against the bathroom stall. There aren’t many words exchanged; just glances,”
Naruto was listening, even if he looked somewhat uncomfortable. Shikamaru had that effect on Naruto quite often. “Hinata can touch you all she wants, can invade your space, and make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Do you feel like that when she kisses your cheek and fondles your arm?” It wasn’t Shikamaru's business to know what was transpiring between the two. But he knew better than to attempt to outrun his jealousy.
“Uh—,” Naruto looked sideways, allocating for their surroundings. “I like her, sure. I don’t feel like I’m on top of the world— I think you’re exaggerating,” he laughed uncomfortably, trying to smoke his cigarette a little faster.
“After war times, people may be more inclined to reproduce. Tragedy gives birth to new life and stories. You shouldn't settle so soon. You aren’t thinking with your dick when it comes to her,” Shikamaru never used such inappropriate language around his comrades, but the situation was dire enough.
“What do you mean?” Naruto was listening. He always listened to Shikamaru. His brows furrowed in contemplation and anticipation as to where Shikamaru was heading with his conclusion. His body language was tense.
“I don’t want to impose,” Shikamaru sighed, pushing himself off the wall, and in a swift motion he gripped Naruto’s nape, pushing him backward into the brick wall. He didn't go as far as to press his knee in between the poor man’s thighs, but he did kiss his neck tenderly, an attempt to cool down his desires.
Shikamaru contemplated Naruto’s flushed face before taking a step backward and taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Think about what you want, for once. We’re only eighteen, think about what goes in between your pants, too,” he winked, smiling foolishly.
Shikamaru took one last drag of his cigarette, pitying it in the elevated ashtray at the front door. “Was this homosexual courting?” Naruto asked, still looking somewhat panicked.
“You could call it that, yes,” Shikamaru felt his embarrassment shake the color on his face. He tugged on the collar of his shirt, the cold breeze not quite enough to catch with the steadily rising beat of his heart. He threw open the door, taking a step over the threshold once Naruto threw his cigarette away.
“I think it worked,” Naruto mumbled, the tips of his ears going as red as poppies. “And before you tell me that I should think about it, I don’t think I can,”
“Works great for me,” Shikamaru let his smile bloom completely, turning to sit back down on his seat across from Naruto.
“What’s with the freakish smile?” Ino immediately noticed Shikamaru's complete flip of mood. Going by her empty bottle of sake, Shikamaru saw fit to let some of his achievements pass his lips.
“I scored hard,” he said, copying her language. She knew what this meant, but was either too indifferent or drunk to ask about it. She pressed a hand to his shoulder, squeezing tightly. Shikamaru was very aware of Naruto’s eyes digging holes into his skull from the other side of the table.