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The recent post-war affairs of Adrestia had the emperor travelling to the western front from Enbarr on a frequent basis. Edelgard was keen on keeping as many promises as possible and whilst she knew that many would not expect her to do so, she vowed to be different than the rest of the royals who only knew how to placate people with false promises of better days. No, Edelgard needed to keep her promises otherwise she would only be repeating the very cycle she sought to destroy.
Hence why she stood on the grounds of former Nuvelle territory, surveying the remaining infrastructures, wildlife, and agriculture potential with the new head of the house. Despite the lands being unattended to for all those years, the territory was still a sight to behold. Though, that mattered little when Edelgard’s spent most of the hours underneath the marvellously decorated mansion belonging to Constance von Nuvelle.
The first time Edelgard visited, Constance’s reckless spending habits caused her to have a colossal headache, but Edelgard knew better than to openly criticize her too much. After all, Adrestia was still in a fragile state with most of the noble houses removed from the map, maintaining a friendly, diplomatic relationship with the leaders of their respective territories was of utmost importance. Besides, she couldn’t begrudge Constance for spending so much on the reconstruction when she’s made it a habit to take in the displaced civilians from the war into her house.
Finally, when the meeting adjourned Edelgard and her associates stood up. The emperor flashed Constance a friendly smile. They were friends first above all else.
“I’m glad to see the improvement in your budget allocations, Constance.” Edelgard mused simply, but anyone who knew the emperor could hear the faintest edge of a teasing commentary.
“Well, of course, Your Majesty! It was my plan all along.” Constance hummed in a self-gratifying manner. “Every ounce of gold I spend always serve their purpose! I am relieved that Your Majesty sees my vision now.”
“Ah, yes. Of course.” Edelgard replied with an edge of exasperation in her voice. She had an arsenal of potential retorts that she could respond with but instead, the emperor simply raised a singular brow towards Monica standing beside her.
There was never doubt within her that Monica could decipher what she meant by a single look. After all, no one quite studied her like Monica did – some of the mannerisms that Monica noticed were behaviours that not even Edelgard was aware of. The corner of her lips twitched upwards ever so slightly, I can think of at least five things that is categorically impulsive. Monica mirrored a coy smile in return, an undeniably playful twinkle in her eyes, And I can recall 113 instances of habitually impulsive purchases since she joined our ranks during the war.
Edelgard broke their eye contact when Constance spun on her heels to face the two. There was an elaborately decorated box and Edelgard had the sinking feeling that this was another one of those “categorically impulsive” purchases.
“These are tea leaves from Brigid. Our dear friend Petra brought a crateful a fortnight ago and I’ve finished them all! So, I procured more, and I thought Your Majesty will appreciate them!” Constance laughed, radiant and boisterous like the sun.
Edelgard let out a sigh before accepting it.
“Alright, I’ll accept it this time. However, as you are rebuilding your house and Nuvelle territories, I do not expect you to bring me gifts, Constance.” Edelgard spoke in earnest as she looked at the blonde woman walking next to her down the long hallways of her house. “We have a bond forged by the flames of war. Material objects are simply a poor substitute to the idyllic moments of sharing a meal in the mess hall or sorting through a litany of tomes and books. I’m content with your company, truly.”
Edelgard could see Constance’s façade begin to falter. As they finally descended the cascading staircases to the main entry way, Edelgard simply reached out and gave her an affirming squeeze on the hand. “Thank you. Now, Monica and I will take our leave. I’m looking forward to the next visit.”
“Nuvelle will be more spectacular than you can even fathom, the next time you visit us, Edelgard.” Constance doffs the haughty disposition and returns the gentle squeeze in return.
When Monica and Edelgard finally settled across each other in the carriage, Edelgard let out a quiet sigh. Faces of old friends had always been a welcoming sight, though, this visit to Nuvelle was nothing less than a politically charged expedition. Those lengthy discussions about revitalization of the territory exhausted her, perhaps, it was due to her ignorance on much of the intricacies of the western lands. Edelgard wouldn’t lie, knowing that aspect about her knowledge gap humbled her.
“Monica, what are our next steps?” Edelgard asked flatly, her eyes trained on the faintest glow of sunset from the small panel of glass.
“Returning to Enbarr, Your Majesty.” Monica replied, and she must’ve seen the way how Edelgard’s brow raised ever-so-slightly in disbelief. “Everything on the agenda’s completed, not one thing left undone.”
The emperor could hear the other woman beam with pride, maybe even a twinkle of joy. Edelgard simply chuckled, smile tugging wide on her lips as she tore her gaze away from the view outside. Amethyst eyes soon found themselves looking into Monica’s vivid ruby ones as she pulled her wandering mind back to the present.
“And you intend on returning to Enbarr with me when Ochs territories is closer in proximity?” Edelgard teased, and only became more pleased with herself when she saw the soft flush burgeoning on Monica’s cheeks.
“I don’t mind. As long as I get to spend time by Your Majesty’s side, I don’t mind at all.” Monica beamed and Edelgard could only feel the swelling of her chest, as if there were butterflies in her chest.
When Monica spoke to her, it was never with deceit. At first Edelgard struggled to trust the earnest display. After all, deceit was all she could remember. The art of subterfuge, the art of manipulation from Thales and those who slither in the dark – she couldn’t trust anyone. Even if Hubert was her loyal vassal, there had been moments where she’s caught him keeping secrets from her and that discovery was troubling to say the least. There was always a longing for simplicity for her. To simply exist without lies, without the need to conceal her true intentions, and to live authentically was all she ever wanted. Yet, something that was so easily accomplished by many others was one thing that she could barely even grasp.
Yet, when she looked at Monica von Ochs, it felt easy.
Monica, despite the months shackled to the basement walls was still willing to be authentic with her feelings. Edelgard never once doubted how she felt or if there were hidden intents behind each word, each proclamation of fealty, gratitude … and love. The feelings of levity and ease was complicated by the emperor’s innate need to scrutinize, to parse, and to analyze. There were nights where she would anticipate reports from Hubert or another, revealing activities Monica was involved in secret. Yet, anything Hubert would report, Monica would admit in earnest the next day.
“It would be a tremendous shame to not pay your father a visit, Monica.”
“Oh, I can see my father any time.”
“And I can delay our return to Enbarr for a day or more.”
Monica grew silent and Edelgard could only surmise that her cheeks were most likely burning.
Slowly, her gloved hand moved to hold Monica’s.
“W-Well… who am I to deny Your Majesty’s requests?” Monica stammered and Edelgard decided this was the moment to shift right next to her.
“That’s what I thought.” Edelgard said softly, as if the mysterious mounting force of pressure eased up and sighed contently.
Tentatively, she pressed her crown of silver locks against Monica’s shoulder. In many ways, her current actions were ill fitted for a person of her status and authority. It felt childish in ways to simply lean against another like this, to muse almost carelessly, to let her mind wander to realms beyond her duties to her empire. Perhaps, it was foolish, but Edelgard learned that there had always been a fool within herself and somehow, Monica accepted her all the same. There was no doubt in her mind that Monica not only knew every instance they’ve shared tea, or when she expressed concern towards her, but Monica also knew about the times when she would draw blood from impatiently flipping through pages of missives and letters. Monica seen the sides of Edelgard that she sought to erase and instead of pulling away, she memorized them and embraced her all the same.
“Is this comfortable, Lady Edelgard?” The sound of Monica’s voice was as soft as a whisper. It was an authentic tenderness that Edelgard didn’t believe could exist in this world – at least, if it did, it wasn’t for her.
“Yes,” Edelgard replied, head tilting slightly to look at Monica. “What of yourself? It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”
“No, never if it’s with you.”
“Good. I trust you will let me know if that isn’t the case, yes?”
“I will be sure to let Your Majesty know if it ever happens.”
A comfortable silence fell between them. The emperor’s fingers drew lazy patterns against her companion’s palm as if memorizing every line, every fold, every magic ruined callous. Moments of solace like this was rare for a woman living on borrowed time as each waking minute was a race towards fulfilling her life’s goals and ambitions. A part of her always yearned for an idyllic life where she could simply be—
“Hahahaha—that tickles…!”
Monica’s breathless laughter drew her out of her slew of thoughts as she instinctually pulled her hand back. Edelgard blushed furiously, her cheeks burning up. Head turned away; she averted her amethyst eyes from everywhere but the flat surface of the seat beneath them. Hand dragging down the side of her face, she wanted to dig a hole and bury herself in it. If Edelgard was any less composed of a person, she surely would’ve squirmed like a young adolescent girl.
“Oh, Your Majesty—” Breathless words attempted to leave Monica’s lips, but she could barely compose herself as her sides continued to ache. When Edelgard cleared her throat in a beleaguered effort to reinstate any sense of dignity, Monica simply took Edelgard’s back and held it firmly. “I’d still like to hold your hand.”
“As do I.” She offered Monica a reciprocal squeeze, reaffirming her position. “Monica?”
“Yes, Lady Edelgard?”
“If I recall correctly, there was a beach near your family’s estate that you’re quite fond of, yes?”
“You remembered?” Monica almost gasped in shock. If this was anyone else other than Monica, Edelgard might’ve assumed it to be a sardonic retort, perhaps even a particularly vicious form of mockery. But Monica was so sincere that it sometimes hurt to see. “You are correct. Before my father became baron, we went there together all the time.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Edelgard paused, feeling a lump grow in her throat. “Uhm… I was hoping you’d show me around there some time, perhaps?” Steadying her words the best she could, it was an arduous effort for the emperor to not stammer at a request that felt so foolish, so girlish, so childish.
The moment of silence felt like eternity. Monica not immediately beaming with an “of course, Lady Edelgard!” admittedly concerned her. Perhaps, it was outlandish of her to think that she could encroach on the one sanctuary Monica had that hadn’t been encroached by the bloodshed of war. She could understand, after all, if she could, she too would keep such a place to herself. Then again, her heart felt something else with respect to this matter – ugh, she needed to get out of her own head.
Amethyst eyes looked at Monica expectantly, teeth nervously catching her bottom lip.
“I would love nothing more.” Monica smiled, but Edelgard could sense a flicker of hesitation. The emperor’s brow lofting high as she gnawed at the flesh inside her cheek. “Yet, if I am to be truthful… I was under the impression that Your Majesty loathed the ocean. I would loathe to be the cause of your feelings of distress.”
A heavy sigh left the emperor’s body, relief easily washing over her as she chided herself internally for even casting doubt on Monica’s enthusiasm. Though, not even she could deny how that statement struck a tender chord within her. Her fears had always been a sensitive subject. She remembered the young girl that snapped at poor Bernadetta when she confessed how the thought of swimming in the vast ocean paralyzed her with fear and Bernadetta found solace in the fact that she too, was human and had fears. In truth, she was ashamed to be vulnerable. A part of her was still hesitant to doff her armour and show her unadulterated self: a girl who missed her siblings, her father, and even the mother she could scarcely remember. That Edelgard she had all but proclaimed dead was a ghost that haunted her, a ghost from a past she could never return to.
But Monica laid her heart bare before her, let Edelgard hold it between her calloused fingertips even when she stood upon the stage and boldly declared the world her enemy. There was a certainty that Monica would’ve hated her the moment she knew of Edelgard’s true intentions—she was ready to sacrifice her as if a lamb to slaughter, she only staged the rescue because it was convenient. Somehow, Monica still let her wrap her cruel fingertips around her heart. Monica’s heart was an organ to behold, one that reminded her of all the wondrous possibilities in the world if she had the courage to reach for it.
Somehow, her vacant hand was smoothing along Monica’s jaw, trailing upwards and threading the gaps of her fingers between locks of ruby red. Edelgard didn’t know what compelled her aside from the heart swelling in her own chest, the warm comfort that Monica so effortlessly provided her with. Softly, she pressed their lips together. Potential audience be damned, she still held more authority here than anyone else, if the emperor wanted to kiss her companion, she will kiss her.
“I…” Edelgard murmured against Monica’s soft, swollen lips. She slowly pulled away, pressing her forehead against the other’s. The smile she had was bashful, a touch shy, a little tentative but nevertheless, genuine. “I trust you. More than anyone else.”
Monica smiled and Edelgard decided to kiss her again and again and again.