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"Buck, are you serious right now?" Eddie shouted, his voice echoing the walls of the parents.
"Yes! It's been four months Eddie, and everyone is still giving me the cold shoulder!" Buck shouted back.
"We were literally at Hen and Karen's last night. How is that the cold shoulder? Everyone has been showering you with affection since the initial anger wore off!"
"It just feels different Eddie. Everything feels different, I feel alone."
"Alone? Alone? I have been here every other night, with or without Christopher to make sure you were ok, I haven't even been able to be mad at you yet!"
"Why would you be mad at me?"
"Because I was told by a lawyer I couldn't see my own boyfriend, and you kept it from me the entire time you were thinking about it!"
"I just wanted my job back!"
"Even if it cost you me, huh?"
Eddie didn't say anymore, just left, slamming the door, leaving the rattle to course its way through the walls.
That had been seven hours ago, it was not reaching the early hours of the morning, and Buck's head was spinning in pain with the amount he had been crying. He had tried texting, phoning and even FaceTiming Eddie, but he was not answering. Buck understood, he needed space, but Buck's body was becoming cold from the isolation, he just needed something, anything. He had been prescribed antidepressants after the crush injury, as a precaution. He hadn't opened the bottle, he didn't need too. Right now though? Buck wanted nothing, but for his thoughts to shut up.
You're worthless.
That's how you treat your family Buck?
Your boyfriend hates you.
You'll never be allowed to see Christopher again.
Not even Bobby wants you in his life, you betrayed him, failed him AGAIN.
Buck pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his fridge, a congrats present from his lawyer for getting his job back. Chase was equally as angry about Buck not taking the settlement, but he still got him this as a present nonetheless. He had been planning on opening it the day of his and Eddie's one year, which was only a few more days away, but Buck didn't think his relationship would make it till then.
Typical, can never keep anyone.
Everyone leaves you eventually.
Your parents didn't even pay you mind growing up, you think others will stick around?
Buck started drinking the bottle, enjoying the burn of his throat as the liquid passed through. He started popping the pills, his mind going absent with the mixture off too. He could see his phone buzzing with texts, but he didn't care anymore. He just wanted his head to be quiet. Eventually, he went to pop another pill but realised the bottle was empty, so he decided to finish off the Whiskey and make his way to bed. He scrolled through his texts and saw they were all Eddie.
Eddie: Baby, I know I left in a horrible way. I still love you. I'll be back tomorrow, to talk properly xx
Eddie: I still want to be with you, let me know you're ok xx
Eddie: Buck? I know you're not asleep, I can see your phone is still active. I know you're probably mad, but let me know you're at least ok.
Eddie: Babe?
Buck felt his heart rate starting quicken, followed by chest pains he couldn't describe. God he was so stupid, how could he do this to Eddie? To Chris? To Maddie? he knocked his lamp over and the glass smashed on the floor. Despite his pain he scrambled to pick up the shards. He felt a piece scrap his arm and the pain sent shivers down his body. He forgot what that felt like, to slice skin open and feel freed by the control of the pain, he needed that right now. He picked up a piece, ready to do it wet he remembered a conversation he had with Eddie?
"What are these Baby?" Eddie Mumbled into his thigh as he placed gentle kisses. Buck tensed, it was their first time and Buck was going to ruin it with a sob story.
"If you have to ask, don't you know?" He replied, trying not to say it out right. Eddie pulled his head up and pushed himself so he was hovering over Buck.
"Baby, if you ever feel like that again, call me. No matter if I'm busy, tired, sad, angry, happy, call me. I will be there. I want you safe, always." Eddie followed through with a gentle kiss, moving them to where they were now on their sides, Buck melted back into the touch.
Buck stared at the wound that was already pouring blood due to the blood thinners. He used his less shaky hand to pick up his phone. He grabbed it but felt his body topple over as an excruciating sensation rolled through his chest. He knew what this was, and he needed to stop it before he left his family forever.
"Siri, call Eddie," Buck heard his phone ring and he was crying with relief.
"Buck, Babe. You ok? I'm sorry ab-"
" Eds, help. " He gasped out before his world was drowned out by the darkness.
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Eddie hung up the phone and raced out to his car. He had never driven off so quickly in his life. He just needed to see what was wrong, he needed too. he had had a bad feeling when Buck was replying, but he wanted to give his boyfriend some space after their fight. Eddie wasn't aware of how many speeding rules he was breaking until he heard sirens pulling him over.
"Eddie Diaz, want to explain to me why you are putting people in danger with your reckless driving?" Athena shouted through the window.
"Buck's in trouble, I need to make sure he's ok. Please let me go!" He was yelling at her through tears and Athena was dragging him out of his car and into hers.
"We'll take my car, at least that way you won't get arrested."
When they pulled in, Eddie was out of the car, running up the steps to Buck's loft in record time, he opened the unlocked door, shouting for his boyfriend. The silent response had him running upstairs to dine Buck on the bed, bleeding out and in his own sick. he pulled out his phone and started calling the emergency line.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"This is firefighter Eddie Diaz, I have a man bleeding out, having been sick-"
"Eddie, look,"
He turned his head and saw Athena holding three things, broken glass, a whiskey bottle and an empty bottle of pills.
'Scratch that, I have a male, possible overdose on antidepressants mixed with alcohol. Looks like a s-s-suicide attempt." he was chocking on his tears, putting his phone on speaker so he could check Buck's pulse.
"Eddie?" He stopped, he could recognise that voice.
"Maddie? I'm at Buck's place. Send anyone, please hurry. He's breathing there but shallow, I don't know if it'll last."
"Oh, Oh my God, Ok the 122 is on route. Oh my God, Eddie please tell me he's ok."
"Maddie, phone everyone and get them to meet at the hospital they're taking us to, I will not let him go, I promise."
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Buck felt the burn of his eyes as he opened them, a bright light shining down right into his retinas. He grinned and felt the twitch of a hand beside him.
"Baby, you're awake?" Eddie gasped, taking his hand and holding it tighter.
he was flooded with memories of what had happened and he felt his eyes full of tears.
"I'm s-sorry Eds,"
"No. Don't be sorry. I Knew that you were low, I knew your history and I was still selfish, even if I needed time, I should have sent Hen, or Chim or anyone over to sit with you,"
"not your fault. I realised w-what I d-did. 's why I called you. Didn't want to go."
"I know baby, I'm so proud of you. we will get through this together, I promise."
"Love y-you.'
"Love you too, now rest, it's ok. I have a lovely trip for our anniversary that you need to rest." Eddie planted a kiss to his head and he felt his eyes flutter close once more.